tattoo argument with spouse

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  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
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    I have eight tattoos. Nothing wrong with them. Get one if you want. Don't let the opinions of others change you.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    1952 called...

    lol yes.

    But seriously...I haven't read all of the responses yet, but I'm curious what the tattoo is and where. Why exactly her husband is opposed...that COULD make a difference although at the end of the day it is HER body.

    ETA: Just saw the tattoo description OP, and I think it sounds like you are really set on it. The only thing for me personally that would make me pause is if it would deter from my husband's physical/sexual attraction to me. Also, you're not a teenager but it really sounds like you're kinda wanting the tattoo to "shock others" which I don't fully understand. No offense.

    I am not a big tattoo fan for me personally (I have 3, they are okay, but if I'd waited until age 25+ I would not have any tattoos...personal preference) but they can be Art or pretty bada$$ on some people.

    However, I am also practical and I think for most people in conservative areas who want to earn a good living in a traditional business type of position you do need to practice caution. My ex husband didn't get a specific promotion because of a tiny tattoo on his neck...total goody goody guy, never been to prison or involved in crime etc...but it was the wrong image for his company. While he still did all right professionally it DID limit his options. Wrong, perhaps, but true.
  • raisealittlehell
    raisealittlehell Posts: 341 Member
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    I have 4 tattoos, one I just got within the last 3 months. My husband is not a fan of ink- but I sat down with him and basically said, I understand *you* don't like them, but it's something that *i* like. I am not saying that you have to approve, but I am asking that you respect my decision.

    When I put it like that he understood- there are things that he does that I am not a fan of (smoking cigars) but I know it's something he enjoys, so as long as it doesn't adversely effect me, or our finances, he can do what he wants.

    Also- because I am sure someone will say, that I used "our" money for my tattoo and therefore he gets a say. I work 2 jobs, so my part-time job I got to make extra money, so no I used *MY* money to get the tattoo.

    In any case- I hope it doesn't becomes an argument and that he can ultimately respect your decision.

    Edited to say: All my of my tattoos are/can be visible. I work in an office environment and I made sure to read the hand book to see if there was any language specific to visible tattoos in the work place.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,181 Member
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    How does one really enjoy a tattoo?
    If nobody else can see it, then what's the point.
    If want to remove the tattoo, it maybe painfull.

    Why not take that money, and invest in the house so everybody can enjoy, and not just you?
  • Mother_Warrior
    Mother_Warrior Posts: 44 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Is this for reals?! BAER.

    I got my first (and only) tattoo when I was 31. I don't regret it. I love it. It has profound meaning to me. It is in a place that its not seen often by many. It didn't rock my world in the least.... far from LIFE ALTERING experience.

    You know the whole "Should I shouldn't I" in getting a tattoo is so lame. Either get it or don't. I think a lot of people like to TALK about getting a tattoo.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.
    Well ... good luck?

    Every man I've ever been involved with has been against me getting a tattoo of any kind, even my fiance who HAS a tattoo. He says I'm "pure." Whatever that means.

    It wouldn't be a huge fight, though, if I got one. I've thought about it for a while, but I'm afraid of the pain and not keen on spending the money. Plus, I can't decide exactly what I want.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?

    It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
    And does not need his permission or approval.
    He can step off.

    Not that I believe that she should get her hubby's permission but I love how the women are ripping this comment, even though I'm sure they love the phrase, "happy wife, happy life". Chill out people, it's just that guys opinion on the matter.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    1952 called...

    lol yes.

    But seriously...I haven't read all of the responses yet, but I'm curious what the tattoo is and where. Why exactly her husband is opposed...that COULD make a difference although at the end of the day it is HER body.

    ETA: Just saw the tattoo description OP, and I think it sounds like you are really set on it. The only thing for me personally that would make me pause is if it would deter from my husband's physical/sexual attraction to me. Also, you're not a teenager but it really sounds like you're kinda wanting the tattoo to "shock others" which I don't fully understand. No offense.

    I am not a big tattoo fan for me personally (I have 3, they are okay, but if I'd waited until age 25+ I would not have any tattoos...personal preference) but they can be Art or pretty bada$$ on some people.

    However, I am also practical and I think for most people in conservative areas who want to earn a good living in a traditional business type of position you do need to practice caution. My ex husband didn't get a specific promotion because of a tiny tattoo on his neck...total goody goody guy, never been to prison or involved in crime etc...but it was the wrong image for his company. While he still did all right professionally it DID limit his options. Wrong, perhaps, but true.

    Well said.
  • snow00774
    snow00774 Posts: 62
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    I still have bills and a job and a driveway to shovel. Now overall my quality of live has improved since I got this about 15 yrs ago but I think that's because of hard work, not the tattoo.

    So no major life change here either way because of it. Maybe I did it wrong!
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    It's your body, do what you want.
    Luckily my other half loves my tattoos (11 and counting) but even if he didn't, I would still get them. He loves me for me, not for some scribbles on my skin.
  • westendcurls
    westendcurls Posts: 252 Member
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    He has s number of tattoos. most jailhouse style and poorly done. He only has two he really loves. One done by my cousin before he passed and one by his cousin.
  • harley_rose
    harley_rose Posts: 236
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    I am rocking 9 tattoo, my lastest is my profile picture. When I met my husband he had one tattoo and I had four. He since has gotten three new since we met. Each tat on my body has a meaning to me some are really deep other just respects someone in my life. It is your body, do as you want.
  • BluesGuitar
    BluesGuitar Posts: 34
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    Firstly, comparing getting a tattoo to having a child is moronic.

    Second, why does he have to be supportive?

    He loves your body the way it looks and is telling you so. If my girlfriend decided to "self-express" a bunch of ink down the side of her as*, I don't need to be supportive of the decision if I'm not attracted to that sort of "art" do I?

    You should be happy he's being up-front with you about how he feels about it.

    I am not saying don't do it. It's your body, but he's being up front with you that it'll affect his perception of you. You can take that into account or not - also your choice. Thinking he'll get used to it, or that he'll learn to love it is wishful thinking.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    How does one really enjoy a tattoo?
    If nobody else can see it, then what's the point.
    If want to remove the tattoo, it maybe painfull.

    Why not take that money, and invest in the house so everybody can enjoy, and not just you?

    I appreciate art, appreciate the sentiments of mine, and they can be seen if I'm in a bathing suit or naked. I own my own house, and spend plenty of money on it. And can't wait to get rid of it!
  • RachyLovesRattys
    RachyLovesRattys Posts: 143 Member
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    I'm COVERED in tats/piercings/modifications and my boyfriend had nothing ANYWHERE (no piercings, tattoos, not even his ears!)

    He legit tells me all the time he forgets why people stare at me sometimes (my ears are stretched to an inch and I've had them so long *over 10 years now* that we both don't even notice them anymore). Sometimes he's like, "THE HELL? WHY ARE THEY LOOKING AT US?!" and then he remembers haha.

    He loves anything I do to my body because it's a part of me--it doesn't matter what it is--it's ME!

    That being said, one day when going for a tat- he REALLY wanted one and got a little spider on his shoulder. So, he did....

    ...life continued on as normal and now he forgets HE has it! It's super cute though :P

    I don't know why people are saying all this crap about tattoos...I have an almost 4.0 gpa, got my AS degree and now working on my Bachelors. I have a job, I have a life, and frankly all my tattoos only show when I want them too--even the ones on my wrist and arms. I just put on a bracelet/short sleeves if I don't want to show it off.

    Your hubby is being jerky imho right now...it's not his body. He just gets the pleasure of looking at it! :P
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,557 Member
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    My husband informed me that no wife of his would get a tattoo. Guess what, I got the tattoo and lost the husband. It is our body and only we can dictate what we do with it.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?

    It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
    And does not need his permission or approval.
    He can step off.

    Not that I believe that she should get her hubby's permission but I love how the women are ripping this comment, even though I'm sure they love the phrase, "happy wife, happy life". Chill out people, it's just that guys opinion on the matter.

    I noticed that too. I also thought this was interesting. While the ladies are foaming with anger at the idea that any man would dare feel he could tell them what to do with their bodies, this comment...
    almost cried when my boyfriend said he wanted to get a tattoo, not gonna lie, I'm not exactly a fan. But I also told him it was his decision, and please pick something nice. I do feel somehow like I get something of a say, or at least a consultation right, b/c I would have to look at it, but in the end it's his body. To this day, he hasn't gotten one :)

    A woman admitting she feels she should have at least partial say over what her husband does with his body gets a complete pass.

    Weird. It's almost like some kind of hypocritical double standard or something. Hunh.

    Seems like you missed several posts from women who weren't foaming about anything.
    Generalization, much?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    A woman admitting she feels she should have at least partial say over what her husband does with his body gets a complete pass.

    Weird. It's almost like some kind of hypocritical double standard or something. Hunh.

    I only read the OP and I didn't rip anyone.

    *covers head*

    :embarassed:
  • lucylousmummy
    lucylousmummy Posts: 348 Member
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    Personally I think the majority of Tattoos are pretty Ugly. There are very few that are in reality good pieces of Artwork. As with all things its personal choice but 40 years down the road when the Tattoo has bled a little and your skin has changed with age the reason you got that unrecognisable blob will escape you. I have met a lot of people through both work and personally that have regretted their tattoos and yes I know people that love them as well.

    Tattoos are really no longer shocking so if thats the reason you want one I'd forget it. If you want to shock people why not run naked through the streets. It's less permanent and you'll only have to pay the fine for public indecency.

    i've had mine 21 years and probably regretted it for 20 years, i didn't think about it before going ahead and doing it, i didn't research the tattoo artist, and basically went for a cheap design (i was only 17 with very little money) at the time i tried rationalizing by saying it was a symbol of freedom from secondary school (butterfly plus hated school with a vengeance) but it's just a cheap tattoo, it's also horribly faded.

    please don't just do it on a whim or to annoy your other half, if you do decided that you want to go ahead with the tattoo, like others have said do your research.

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