Do you agree with this statement?
Replies
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I agree with your mom. When you really and truly want something, you do the work to get it. Plain and simple. If you feel like doing the work is too hard and refuse to do it, you want to stay as you are more than you want to lose weight."You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
I mean this in the kindest way possible, but yes, I absolutely do believe that statement.
I believe there will be ups, and downs, and diets tried and diets failed, and diets that work for awhile, but then changes in direction, but yes, overeall, over the span months, years, you will lose weight if your heart is truly set on it.
You will find a way.
Humans are capable of a level of greatness and achievement most people can't even fathom, if you want something bad enough, you will get it.
I've been at this for almost 2 years since my last stint, currently at a 59 lb loss.
It's not easy, and it's a slow process.0 -
What have you gotten from life that you haven't had to work in some way for? Maybe for you so far it has not seemed like work in the same way that eating and working out seems, but believe me you will have to work for what you want out of life. Sometimes it's hard work, sometimes it is a constant struggle, and some times you make better choices to surround yourself with support that makes whatever it is you are going through easier.
This process seems daunting to you right now. Decide to make a small change in this regard that doesn't seem hard to you. Keep that change going and add something else to it in a week. When it seems too hard, really take a look and see if there is a way to either think about it differently or to find support to help you through it.0 -
Some people find this advice helpful so I'll just throw it out there:
Pretend you are a robot. Know what you have to do and do it like a robot would. Eventually it will get easier.
(Kind of like "fake it 'til you make it")0 -
Your mom is right - I will just change one word - "you do not want to lose the weight ENOUGH..... If you really want it, you will make peace with the basic facts that eating healthier and moving is part of the deal - and will be part of your life if you want to keep the weight off...
I was in the same boat - I was whining and complaining about wanting to lose weight, hating myself for the way I looked and "trying everything" The day I accepted that the only way I will lose the weight and keep it off require healthier eating and moving, was the day I succeeded.....0 -
I agree wholeheartedly.
"Change Occurs When The Pain Of Staying The Same Is Worse Than The Pain Of Change". is my favorite quote,
You DONT want to lose weight (atleast not more than you want to continue to eat junky food and not work out).
I have never heard this quote before, but I love it. It's absolutely the truth in everything in life- not just weight loss.0 -
I think the clarity comes with realizing that you can't do it half-assed and there are no quick fixes. It requires commitment and a complete lifestyle overhaul. I know in my case something profound has changed in me and I'm feeling different towards food and exercise, have kept up my healthy habits for several months and am seeing the results of my hard work.0
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I go through cycles. Sometimes I really want it and work for it.
The rest of the time I may not want it as badly, but I fake it until I make it.
In other words, just start. Stop stressing about your reasons. Pretend you like it, and eventually you will.
If you fake it long enough, you will start to crave the moments when the scale goes down. You will feel "off" if you don't make it to the gym or get in a walk or ride your bike. You will feel "off" if you overindulge on high calorie treats instead of using moderation.
The first time I went to a gym, I hated it. I got on a stationary bike and buried my face in a Glamour or something for 20 minutes and then had a smoothie. But I went back the next day, and the next, then I started to mess around on the weight machines. Then I started to think hard about fitness. Then I started reading about free weights and lifting. Then I picked up a barbell and realized that 45 pounds wasn't nearly as heavy in my hands as in my mind. Now I'm 60 pounds lighter, 10 times stronger, and a million times happier.
The first time I decided to eat less was similar. I didn't like lettuce, but I ate it. I didn't like leaner cuts of meat, but I ate them. I hated brown rice....and I still hate brown rice and don't eat it.0 -
I agree wholeheartedly.
"Change Occurs When The Pain Of Staying The Same Is Worse Than The Pain Of Change". is my favorite quote,
You DONT want to lose weight (atleast not more than you want to continue to eat junky food and not work out).
I totally agree with the above statement. I actually considered having lap-band surgery. When I went to the seminar the doctor preceded to tell me I didn't qualify (as per insurance) since my BMI was only 38 not the required 39. I was very blunt and stated I could gain the extra weight to qualify or meet with his dietitian and find a healthy way to loose the weight. That was the best 30 min of my life. Even though I have lost weight successfully in the past It was an eye opener to all of the things I was doing wrong that held me back. I set a date to start loosing weight and moved forward from there.
Good luck to you on your journey.0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
Why are you here? :huh:0 -
When will I know that I want to do it? ... Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
Why do you believe there is a difference between those two?
Michael Jordan "wanted" to play basketball - that doesn't mean he didn't have to *force* himself into huge sacrifices to actually play basketball at the level he played at.0 -
TheVoice1973
It really comes down to one thing: are you willing to sacrifice your future for the present? Because that's exactly what's happening right now!
This was the key for me. I am almost 50, and I have been morbidly obese all of my adult life (at one point I weighed almost 400#). I've tried to lose weight more times than I can count. When I realized that bag of chips or that doughnut was slowly killing me, I started losing weight. To me, eating "junk" was like taking small doses of poison every day. It is the cumulative effect that kills you, not a single bite.
Would I rather have a box of chocolates, or be able to play with my grandchildren? Do I need to eat a pound of chocolate, or will one piece satisfy that sweet craving?0 -
Itll click one day.
For 2 years I was like "I want to lose weight" and never did anythong about it.
Then in 2012, just woke up and did something about it.
You may want to lose the weight but your mind might not be in the place yet where you can do it.
This is me. This time around something just "clicked" in my brain, it's so hard to explain to people. It immediately just felt different this time than all the other times and it's been easier for some reason.0 -
I didn't read everyone's input, but someone wise told me a long time ago:
"Weight gain is a symptom. You cannot fix a symptom."
You struggle with the hard work because fighting the fat requires mountains of will power, and humans are not good at using will power for long. Moreover, the more you exert will power the more sugar your brain wants.
So, it's time to stop looking at weight loss as a time frame in which you summon all you mental power, deprive yourself and drag yourself to the gym. What you want to do is start by uncovering bad habits that you have, understanding the underlying issue and deal with them one by one.
For example- one day when I was counting my WW points plus, I ate a lot. I ran out of weekly points, and I had barely enough points left for dinner. On top of that, the dishes piled up not just in the sink but all around the counter. I was HUNGRY, I was MAD, and I was TIRED. I just wanted CAKE!
Then, because I was on the WW program, and I ran out of points, I kinda felt compelled not to give in and deal with it. I realized at that moment that after I have cake I will still be hungry, I will have no more points left for dinner, and the dishes are still going to be there.
I took a breath, let go of the stress, dealt with the dishes and made a salad. I felt so much better.
When you choose poorly, take a moment to think about it. Will this food do for you what you need right now? Maybe a better food will do a better job? Maybe the answer isn't even food.
One last point- if you find habits that you can change easily to better ones, tackle them first.
Example- eating breakfast at home and not buying a muffin at Starbucks (I used to do that...).
Example- replacing one can of soda with a fruit cup
Our weight gain comes from many sources. Sometimes you just need to learn what they are and deal with them one by one, starting with the easiest.0 -
Do you agree with this statement ? I am an alcoholic. My wife tells me that I need to stop drinking to quit. I really want to quit but, I really like to drink. What should I do ? I am sorry, I will not mince my words as to waste your time or mine. I can give you all types of witty quips, and motivational one liners but is that gonna help you? Do you just want everyone to say oh, it's ok sweety it will come in time. The fact is the now is the time !!!!!! Right now, anything that is worth doing is not going to be easy. You need a proverbial wakeup call. I was an alcoholic for 20 years, yup 20. It took a lengthy jail visit to make me understand that I was not making the right choices in life. Go to the doctor and see what type of shape you are in. If you are healthy then by all means continue your current habits. If you have an eating disorder, see a specialist, and join a support group. Getting off your duff and doing something about it other than typing is step #1. If you value life and your family at least do them a favor and stick around a little longer than you might have. I tell you this because I care, and I am on a mission to help those who ask for it. Now go do something RIGHT NOW !!!!0
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Yup! I was chubby(still slightly am), throughout my whole life, but nothing made me want to lose weight or even when i did, keep it off! Eating was far more fun(still is)
But after having my daughter and with me about to turn 30, something clicked within me this time! I am in it for life now, i am sure of that.
I have been so inspired by the people here on MFP, my FL. I have learnt so much here, there is no going back!0 -
Just my opinion...
Being fat is hard.
Dieting is hard.
Maintaining is hard.
Choose your hard.0 -
So many great responses here. There is no right response bc everyone's moment will be different.
When you're ready, you will know and and you'll do what you need to do. In the meantime, one poster said it well... you have to own your choices and the outcome of your choices.
Good luck!! :flowerforyou:0 -
You can want it without losing weight. It's more of the question of if you want it badly enough to work for it.
I WANT a cupake. The fact that I didn't drive out to the store to get one today doesn't mean I didn't want it. It just meant I wasn't willing to put in the effort to obtain what I desired.0 -
Sounds like in your case, it is accurate. You don't want to put forth effort, so really you don't WANT to not be fat anymore. When you want it you'll make the changes to accomplish your goals. Until then, you're just spinning your wheels.0
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When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
An epiphany would be good ... It would be better than the bluntforcetrauma of your physician saying you have [diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, morbid obesity]. You can't choose which one to insert here because it is a gamble of fate which one will happen. But if you choose not to do something about them, choices will be made for you.0 -
Yes, I agree. Either do it or stop complaining.0
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Some people find this advice helpful so I'll just throw it out there:
Pretend you are a robot. Know what you have to do and do it like a robot would. Eventually it will get easier.
(Kind of like "fake it 'til you make it")
I was just scrolling down to post this and you beat me to it! For me when I have fallen off the horse I need to do the "Fake it till you make it" method. It sucks for a week or so and then becomes part of my routine and THEN I start to enjoy it a little.0 -
I found this site and all of a sudden I knew I could it finally0
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I think your mom is more or less right, but it would be more correct to say:
"You're not losing weight because you don't want it badly enough. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
When you want to get to a healthy weight more than you want to overeat and be lazy, that's when it will happen. It could be an epiphany, or a decision based on some health problem, or a hard fought battle of wills between your chubby and thin inner selves.0 -
I don't because I have hashimoto's and I really want to lose weight, I eat pretty well, work out, still don't lose. Illness isn't a choice.0
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She is 100% correct, until you are ready to fight for it and do anything to get it you aren't ready,0
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The OP specifically said she doesn't want to eat right and exercise. You are throwing an argument into this thread that isn't relevent and hasn't been postulated.I don't because I have hashimoto's and I really want to lose weight, I eat pretty well, work out, still don't lose. Illness isn't a choice.0 -
for me it was when i stopped focussing on how many calories were in the food and over exercising with restricted calories and when i started planning strength orientated workouts with cardio and upped my calorie intake to my bmr. then whatever i ate, i ate healthy, nutrient rich food. never looked back
it sounds as if your idea of exercise is an hour on the treadmill and that isnt very appealing to the vast majority of us. i would use the blogilates beginners calender to get started. i love her videos and her body positive attitude x good luck0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Yes. When you're ready and want to change (barring medical issues), the work won't seem so bad, because the results will be more valuable to you.Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
I can't answer for everyone else, but it kinda was an epiphany to me. That was due to me being in a big pile of denial about my weight for a long time and shocking reality of actually realizing how fat I'd gotten. Once I fully comprehended it, that was it for me, though the mechanics of weight management were difficult for me to deal with. It took me a long time, but I didn't give up, because no matter how much I struggled with eating well and/or exercising, I hated being fat more.
You don't have to lose weight until you're ready, but I would suggest trying to not gain any more if you can avoid it.0
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