The Big Bad Gym Bully!
Replies
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Re-racking your plates at my gym is the RULE...which not all people follow. So, you were the Enforcer, not a bully.
The worst is when people (mostly men) leave 45lb plates on things. I had to de-load the squat machine once. It was pretty terrible. What made it worse was that some young guy was watching me struggle with this...and just smiling!!! I think he thought it was "cute" that I was pulling off all of these huge plates. He could have offered to help...but in all fairness, I probably would have been *****y to him.
There was another "enforcer" on /r/fitness a month or two ago who was looking at criminal charges being brought against him because someone didn't rack their weights and he "enforced" the gym policy. Verbally intimidating someone is one step removed from starting a physical altercation, but both are overreactions to someone not racking their weights. To each his own, but I see no reason to try and intimidate someone into racking their weights when a bit of common courtesy could have achieved the same result. I really don't understand being proud about barking at a small woman who just started at the gym in January, and I understand the people applauding this behavior even less.0 -
right when she took her 1st steps away from the machine I said “RACK’EM” (loud enough for everyone to turn around and look) while pointing at the machine....
apparently she’s told him that I’m the gym bully.
Really the gym bully?
That's a pretty bullying way to talk to someone who's not your child or employee. You can't correct bad etiquette with bad etiquette. Now she doesn't respect you or your message, so it wasn't very effective. You'll get a better outcome in these situations by just speaking respectfully & calmly. We all make mistakes and do things that someone else doesn't like, so there's no point getting emotional about a minor issue like a tiny dumbbell in your way. Now you've caused another Planet Fitness gym to open, LOL. :bigsmile:0 -
Re-racking your plates at my gym is the RULE...which not all people follow. So, you were the Enforcer, not a bully.
The worst is when people (mostly men) leave 45lb plates on things. I had to de-load the squat machine once. It was pretty terrible. What made it worse was that some young guy was watching me struggle with this...and just smiling!!! I think he thought it was "cute" that I was pulling off all of these huge plates. He could have offered to help...but in all fairness, I probably would have been *****y to him.
There was another "enforcer" on /r/fitness a month or two ago who was looking at criminal charges being brought against him because someone didn't rack their weights and he "enforced" the gym policy. Verbally intimidating someone is one step removed from starting a physical altercation, but both are overreactions to someone not racking their weights. To each his own, but I see no reason to try and intimidate someone into racking their weights when a bit of common courtesy could have achieved the same result. I really don't understand being proud about barking at a small woman who just started at the gym in January, and I understand the people applauding this behavior even less.
See here's my issue with the situation...as someone who is 5 feet tall and a 120 lbs...having someone else leave massive amounts of 45lb plates on machines makes it nearly impossible for me to workout. I completely understand how frustrating it is to have to clean-up someone else's mess.
Everyone needs to re-rack their plates; it's the rule AND common courtesy. It is posted AT LEAST half a dozen places when you first walk into my gym...but it still doesn't always happen.
Saying something to someone is not even close to a physical altercation. The OP told the woman to re-rack her plates. BFD. She should have just done it and moved on with her life. She didn't feel "intimidated," it is more likely that she felt embarrassed for being called-out for doing the wrong thing.
I agree...that he didn't have to be super harsh, BUT how much do you want to bet that this lady re-racks her plates now.0 -
Re-racking your plates at my gym is the RULE...which not all people follow. So, you were the Enforcer, not a bully.
The worst is when people (mostly men) leave 45lb plates on things. I had to de-load the squat machine once. It was pretty terrible. What made it worse was that some young guy was watching me struggle with this...and just smiling!!! I think he thought it was "cute" that I was pulling off all of these huge plates. He could have offered to help...but in all fairness, I probably would have been *****y to him.
There was another "enforcer" on /r/fitness a month or two ago who was looking at criminal charges being brought against him because someone didn't rack their weights and he "enforced" the gym policy. Verbally intimidating someone is one step removed from starting a physical altercation, but both are overreactions to someone not racking their weights. To each his own, but I see no reason to try and intimidate someone into racking their weights when a bit of common courtesy could have achieved the same result. I really don't understand being proud about barking at a small woman who just started at the gym in January, and I understand the people applauding this behavior even less.
See here's my issue with the situation...as someone who is 5 feet tall and a 120 lbs...having someone else leave massive amounts of 45lb plates on machines makes it nearly impossible for me to workout. I completely understand how frustrating it is to have to clean-up someone else's mess.
Everyone needs to re-rack their plates; it's the rule AND common courtesy. It is posted AT LEAST half a dozen places when you first walk into my gym...but it still doesn't always happen.
Saying something to someone is not even close to a physical altercation. The OP told the woman to re-rack her plates. BFD. She should have just done it and moved on with her life. She didn't feel "intimidated," it is more likely that she felt embarrassed for being called-out for doing the wrong thing.
I agree...that he didn't have to be super harsh, BUT how much do you want to bet that this lady re-racks her plates now.
The OP told her to RACK EM in a LOUD voice which caused the people in the gym to turn and stare at her. There was no need to embarrass her. He could have done it in a polite manner by oh, say walking over to her and saying "Excuse me but the gym policy is that you rack your weights when you're done with the machine". No need to be rude about it.
There are plenty of times I have to un-rack equipment and haul a few 45 lb plates off of it. Is it a PITA? Sure but I'm not going to scream at someone who doesn't take the weights off.0 -
FACT - Staring down and barking at 115 pound 50 year old ladies doesn't make you a bad *kitten*. Just the opposite, really.
I'm going to put that wallet back in the bag, because it's obviously not yours. You know which wallet
When the so-called "Meat heads", "Bros" & "Soccer moms" all know the rules and follow them. Why should anyone get a pass. So you're saying only people who are a certain height & weight have to follow the rules?
There was clearly no need to yell at her loud enough so that everyone in the gym turned around and looked at her. It was plain rude. You could have told her in a nice way. Yes, she should have re-racked the weights but you shouldn't have screamed at her to do it.
As everyone else has said, come back when you've told a guy who's 6'3 and 240 pounds to 'RACK 'EM'. My guess is that ain't happening.
Why wouldn't that happen again?0 -
I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.0
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I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
I'm with you, but what does being a "newbie" have to do with knowing enough to pickup after yourself?0 -
LOL0
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I agree - whilst I would have thought racking weights would be common sense for most people, it obviously hadn't occurred to her. It probably doesn't mean she's the spawn of satan.
To be honest, when I first started at the gym, I'm sure I made loads of faux pas...if someone had shouted 'rack'em' at me I probably wouldn't even know what they meant, in my first few sessions. I was terrified of everyone at the gym for the first few months, convinced everyone was looking at me and judging and I would have been mortified if someone had shouted at me in front of the whole gym floor.
Yes, it is rude and inconsiderate not to re-rack your weights and I get massively frustrated when someone who can lift six times what I can doesn't rack up, but there's ways and means of talking to someone.0 -
As much as I can't stand someone not picking up after themselves, Bullying a 120 lb woman is just wrong.
I'm 5'1" and over 50 and I would *hate* being yelled at by someone half my age and three times my size. But if I'm leaving my crap around the gym for other people to pick up, I'm doing the wrong thing and someone should call me on it.
If I want to be treated equally in the gym, then I have to suck it up and take it when I'm treated equally in the gym, you know? I shouldn't get a pass just because I'm a girl.0 -
.... I'd also buy one that said RACK across my chest, and YOUR WEIGHTS beneath, bolder and brighter. OMG make these!!!!!!!
THIS is your women's one. I want...
SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE THIS T-SHIRT ON CAFEPRESS OR SOMETHING, AHHH! I needs.0 -
I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
Yes!!!
Really there are two issues here. Should people clean up after themselves? Absolutely! Is it Ok to get annoyed if they don't? sure.
Is it cool to loudly spurt out commands to a stranger and then stare her down while she does what you told her to do, then brag about to all your mfp friends?
Personally, I don't do that. When I used to go to the gym regularly I often re-racked 50 lb plates or higher, after someone didn't clean up after themselves and I never felt resentful about it. I just thought of it as a little extra work to add to my work out. I get that you are sick and tired of this situation, but I kind of agree that it sounds a bit like the b word when you don't use manners. (I even can imagine that the "thank you" was not said in the spirit of kindness)0 -
Ugh, racking is one of my pet peeves too. I don't mind so much when they're little weights, but when you've got the really heavy weights, or there are 3+ plates on each end of the bar.... Obnoxious because that's multiple trips back and forth. Way to go Gym Bully, I'd do it too if I weren't slightly afraid of the big muscles that leave those heavy weights behind...0
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just another full of herself gym bish. I'd give her dirty looks & she'd be afraid of me......0
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haha i'd buy a RACK'EM shirt!0
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Bully: noun
bully; plural noun: bullies
1.
a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker0 -
I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
I'm with you, but what does being a "newbie" have to do with knowing enough to pickup after yourself?
Because not all newbies are up to speed on proper gym etiquette. Most are clueless. Moreover, people not racking their weights is so common that after having to unload other people's weights over and over, it's possible she thought this was standard gym procedure. I'm not saying that excuses the behavior, but it's certainly possible she was just ignorant as to proper gym etiquette having only joined in January and I don't see a need to bark at someone for being an ignorant newbie (and I don't mean that in an insulting way). I guess in short, I'd give a newbie the benefit of the doubt that she just didn't know any better versus she was intentionally being an *kitten*.0 -
PLEASE DO THIS!!! Your first customer (raises hand) :happy:I want you in my gym. I had to put away 6 45 lb weights because I can only bench press the bar.
Thinking about making a shirt with "RACK'EM" on the front and back. Maybe I should embrace this whole bully thing LOL0 -
I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
I'm with you, but what does being a "newbie" have to do with knowing enough to pickup after yourself?
Because not all newbies are up to speed on proper gym etiquette. Most are clueless. Moreover, people not racking their weights is so common that after having to unload other people's weights over and over, it's possible she thought this was standard gym procedure. I'm not saying that excuses the behavior, but it's certainly possible she was just ignorant as to proper gym etiquette having only joined in January and I don't see a need to bark at someone for being an ignorant newbie (and I don't mean that in an insulting way). I guess in short, I'd give a newbie the benefit of the doubt that she just didn't know any better versus she was intentionally being an *kitten*.
We learn how to "put your toys away" in preschool. It's not just proper gym etiquette, it's proper life etiquette.
Show me a gym that doesn't have something on the wall about rules for the facility that doesn't include re-racking weights, or even separate wall literature about re-racking, and you most likely have shown me the first one.0 -
This.Bully: noun
bully; plural noun: bullies
1.
a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker
The way you describe what you did, honestly, made me uncomfortable. I probably would have complained about you, as well. Or lectured you. Or flipped you off. It's hard to tell.
Yes, she should racked her weights. Everyone should. You have witnessed her doing this multiple times. Have you ever said anything to her before? She's new to the gym. She might not have thought of it. You should have probably said something to her one of the first few times you noticed, in a really calm and not intimidating voice. Reminded her that this is gym etiquette and you're always supposed to do it. The fact that you DEMANDED this of a woman, then stared at her the entire time she did it is extremely demeaning. Perhaps you've never thought of the gender dynamic, but it's kind of just reminding a woman that she doesn't belong and that you, as a man, are stronger and more powerful, with the right to demand things of her.0 -
I'm with you. For some reason it strikes me as worse to be barking at a small girl who's new to the gym than to tell someone who's been lifting for a year to rack his weights - but either way, putting things back where you got them is common courtesy.We learn how to "put your toys away" in preschool. It's not just proper gym etiquette, it's proper life etiquette.0 -
Today I was called into the managers office of my gym. The manager explained to me that, I wasn’t in trouble but that he did received a complaint about me from one of the other members. I knew exactly who and what it was all about.
The day before, I was working out and saw “Mini Ipad” (that’s what I call her because I don’t know her name and she brings her mini ipad with her). Facts about “Mini Ipad”: 43+ years old, 5’6 around 120 LBS, She joined gym sometime in early January. She totes around her water bottle, towel,keys cell phone & of course her mini Ipad from machine to machine.
Back to the story… The day in question she was on the chest press machine and had 2 (5lb) and 1 (2.5) weight on each side. But she had them “sandwich style” with the 2.5 in between the 5LB plates. Anyways she was done with the machine and gathering up her stuff. I was going to use the machine next and there was no way in hell I was gonna rack her weights again (she does this all the time!).
So, right when she took her 1st steps away from the machine I said “RACK’EM” (loud enough for everyone to turn around and look) while pointing at the machine. She looked back at me, I kept directly eye contact with her until she racked her weights, I even said thank you.
This is exactly what happened and exactly what I told the manager he laughed about it but, apparently she’s told him that I’m the gym bully.
Really the gym bully?
I think you're awesome! Nice weight loss btw! Awesome progress.0 -
What if she was getting off the equipment and going to grab the spray so she could wipe down the machine and was then going to un-rack the weights? I do that a lot. I'll walk away for a second to go get something to wipe the equipment down with and then I'll un-rack it. Why? Because I don't want someone seeing the machine empty and assuming I'm done with it and then laying down on my nasty bench (that would probably cause the OP to scream 'WIPE IT!' at me :laugh: ).
If someone screamed at me to RACK EM while I was on my way to get a rag I'd shrug, un-rack it and say "I guess you don't mind laying down on a sweaty bench then? Cool." And walk away.0 -
So, right when she took her 1st steps away from the machine I said “RACK’EM” (loud enough for everyone to turn around and look) while pointing at the machine. She looked back at me, I kept directly eye contact with her until she racked her weights, I even said thank you.
This is exactly what happened and exactly what I told the manager he laughed about it but, apparently she’s told him that I’m the gym bully
Did you tell the gym manager that you screamed at her and everyone in the gym looked and then you stared her down while pointing or did you simply say "Well sir, all I did was tell her to rack 'em.":huh:0 -
We learn how to "put your toys away" in preschool. It's not just proper gym etiquette, it's proper life etiquette.
Show me a gym that doesn't have something on the wall about rules for the facility that doesn't include re-racking weights, or even separate wall literature about re-racking, and you most likely have shown me the first one.
People do stupid, face-palming ridiculous things every day. Yes, she should absolutely know better. Every day you make a personal choice as to how you will react to these frustrating inconveniences.
In my opinion, yelling RACK EM' is a face-palming reaction to a petty inconvenience.0 -
I think we as a society put up with rude behavior so much we end up giving the impression it's ok. You do not give that impression
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If it's anything like my gym 80% of the people don't rack their weights, there were probably weights on the bar when she got there. Not saying it's okay but when other people don't lead by example it's tough for newbies to catch on.I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
I'm with you, but what does being a "newbie" have to do with knowing enough to pickup after yourself?0 -
And it's worth pointing out that a similar situation popped up another forum recently in which another "enforcer" demanded another guy at the gym rack his weights. The difference is in that situation, the offender (another guy) told him to piss off and it escalated with the "enforcer" running him down and shoving said offender as he was leaving the gym. Mr. enforcer got booted from the gym and last I heard was trying to avoid criminal assault charges that would be with him for life, all because he wanted to enforce gym etiquette. Now it's easier to avoid this situation when you bark at little girls who are new to the gym, but I really don't think this is a healthy attitude and certainly isn't one to be applauded.
If you own the gym or if you're staff, you can ask your customers to rack their weights or leave. If you are just another customer, mind your own business (just my $0.02).0 -
I want you in my gym. I had to put away 6 45 lb weights because I can only bench press the bar.
Thinking about making a shirt with "RACK'EM" on the front and back. Maybe I should embrace this whole bully thing LOL
I'd wear that!
Would be brilliant to point your t shirt out to someone in the gym, however as a girl I'm not sure that would be an appropriate phrase for the front!!0 -
I find it comical there are threads on this site every day about newbies that lack self confidence being afraid to go to the gym and people rush to assure them that it's a great idea and no one will bother them. Now we have a thread where someone is loudly barking at a gym newbie to rack her 2.5 and 5 lb weights and being applauded for being an "enforcer" of the weight room. I'm with you on people should rack their own weights, but there's a right way to instruct someone about proper gym etiquette.
^^parkscs, this is one of those rare occasions that I actually agree with you. Both sides could have behaved differently, and this isn't very supportive of newbies in the gym.
OP, I regularly have to remove weights from the bars, and I always rack mine when I'm done. It may be because I'm new (2 months in to lifting), but it has never bothered me. On a couple of occasions, I've had big guys leave 45 lb. plates on the bar and when they saw me coming, they ran over to get remove them for me. I CAN lift 45 lb. plates, but it's nice when they realize that they should "clean up their mess." I really don't think that people who leave the plates on are intentionally being jerks; they're just thinking of their next exercise, or that they're finished with that exercise.
She may be oblivious to the signage, because she's new and learning to lift. It doesn't make her right, but it's better to give people the benefit of the doubt, instead of assuming they're intentionally being rude.0
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