Do you agree with this statement?
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You're right, your mom is wrong. If you don't want to eat right or exercise then you won't lose weight. It's like... I'm not scared of heights, I'm scared of falling off of something tall.
It's been my experience that most people "hit a wall," if you will. Something happens in their lives (can't fit into their fav jeans, can't get on a ride at an amusement park, etc...) that is the final straw for them and they say "OK, I'm ready." From my observations you won't truly have success at weight loss until you hit your limit, whatever that may be for you. I can tell you what it WON'T be though, it won't be you doing it for a man, you doing it for your parents, you doing it for ANYONE ELSE, you have to be doing it for yourself or it won't work out in the end. Doing it to make someone else happy is never the right reason.0 -
I realy want to win the Powerball but considering I don't buy tickets most of the time, it's not too likely to happen is it?
If you REALLY WANT something, you have put the work in to get it. Period, end of story.
I went through the same struggle. I'd try to lose weight to please my family or my boyfriend or for a wedding or for a high school reunion. It wasn't until I finally decided I needed to do it for myself - my health, my self worth/self esteem, my longevity, my mobility, etc - that it finally hit home. While I was obese for the first 18 years of my adult life, I mostly just accepted it. It might bother me now and then but I was mostly happy and not willing to put the work in to keep diets going ("diet" being the operative word here). I'd rather eat the foods I liked and be lazy and continue convincing myself that it was perfectly fine.
Then 2009 happened. I was gaining even more weight and when I tried to do things, I found I was getting embarrased - couldn't walk around much without getting winded, wardrobe dwindling due to things not fitting any more, too large to easily get in and out of the boat, etc etc. After several months, I finally faced facts and decided it was time to stop BSing myself and finally make a change. And this time I wasn't doing it for anyone but me (for example, My Mom offered to pay for Weight Watchers and I said no thanks, I got it) and I wasn't going to do a "diet". I was going to keep eating the foods I enjoyed, just in smaller portions and with slight tweaks to make them healthier/lighter. And I was going to move more.
Not so much an epiphany but a reason. What is your reason WHY you want to lose weight? Just because society thinks you should be skinnier or because you really want to be healthier, fit, more mobile, able to do more, have more energy, etc.
If you don't find a good enough reason, it's never going to happen. If you REALLY WANT it, you'll find a good enough reason to put the work in.0 -
Fake it 'til you make it. Just commit to 10 minutes a day. You will probably find that once you are moving, you just keep going for longer and longer.
Yes. "Just this meal" I won't overeat, "just for today" I will count my calories, "just for today" I will log in...Those days add up and when you know it you lost weight. THEN you will WANT to continue and will feel motivated to continue on.0 -
Jessica -- I have had similar issues that you've had. I think this may be somewhat true for people that have no underlying issues. But, I suspect that a lot of people that carry excess weight have issues that they're not aware of and that's the blockage.
Those issues could be emotional (i.e causing self-sabotage), psychological or physiological. I'd thought for years that I just didn't want it enough too --- I'd been eating at a 700 daily calorie deficit to just maintain my weight. Over 3 months, that would be a weightloss of 15-18 for "normal" people. I saw doctors several times over the years and all just said the same thing -- eat less and exercise more.
I only recently found out that it isn't my lack of desire but an underlying issue -- I have both Hashimoto's (a thyroid condition) and insulin resistance. None of my previous doctors even checked for these issues. I know many others that have PCOS, which often comes with insulin resistance (and the accompanying weight gain or difficulty losing weight). I suspect this is true for a lot of people out there, but our cases aren't severe enough to warrant merit from most doctors and we're just sent home told to eat less and exercise more.
I also feel so much better eating a Paleo/Primal diet and now I know why -- something that's often suggested for those of us with Hashi's.
So, you too may have an underlying issue that just hasn't been found, and like many of us, you may have to trial and error before you get there. I wish you the best!0 -
This is so AWESOME! Love it! "Go Big, OR Go Home!" I think the others on here are right. You have to have a desire to do the work. It's not easy, but it is within your ability. It's up to you, not any one else, to make the changes you need to make to be healthier, thinner, stronger and whatever else your goals may be.0 -
"You're not losing weight because you don't want to. When you really want to lose weight, you will."
My mom keeps saying this to me. IMO, it's not that I don't want to lose weight. It's that I don't want to work out or eat healthy. I've been struggling with that since I was 15. I do want to lose weight, but the working part is the hard part.
Follow up question:
When will I know that I want to do it? Is it like having an epiphany? Or do people just force themselves to do it until they want to?
Why surrender to anyone else's reality? You set your own limits. And stop letting other people's words hurt you. If this is something you want, then go after it. Commit and execute.
An orchestra's conductor must turn his back to the audience to make beautiful music.
I know you can do it if you put your mind to it.0 -
I agree with you mom.
Currently you value eating the "yummy" foods in larger quantities than is healthy over a healthy moderate diet. I also don't like exercising, and I love delicious foods, but I've put being healthy at a higher value than overindulging. For me there was no epiphany, I simple said to myself one morning "that's enough now". And that's been it. My hubby was the same as you, and I said the same thing to him as your mom said to you, that he didn't want it bad enough. He was a bit resentful that I said it at first, but it was true. Than one day he just said... it's not worth it, being annoyed about his weight but doing nothing about it, and I had at one point just told him to stop complaining and either 1.be happy with his weight, or 2.do something about it.
Maybe you're just not in the head space yet, but one awesome part of our brains is we can trick them, so you can really "fake it till you make it" try doing just a little a day, don't make a ton of massive changes all at once.
Good luck!0 -
http://blog.myfitnesspal.com/2014/02/myfitnesspal-a-community-fit-for-a-king/
I just posted above, then I read this blog post and I think it is a must read. I still think that you have to have the drive and desire to make the necessary changes in your life, but you also need to find the supports that will help you along the way. We are all trying to better ourselves for our health, physique or whatever and can support one another to reach our goals.
Good luck to you and feel free to add me is you wish.0 -
I think it depends on the person, family, motivation, and many other factors. But for me, I seen my sister have heart attacks, my mother go through triple by pass surgery, my other sister diabetic and I knew early on that my health was very important to me. I started working in my early 20's and have kept it over the years. But this year I turn 50, I'm not ready to slow down. So I turned up the heat on my workouts and more conscience about what I eat.
Listen to your inner self...he/she will never lie to you! :flowerforyou:0 -
I agree with her statement.
when I was 286lbs I had made attempts at losing weight but nothing really stuck. In a sick way, being overweight worked for me. It was my identity, I hid behind my weight. It was the perfect excuse as to why I didn't win something/get picked/get that job/get the guy - the old "I didn't get chosen to compete in the speech competition because I'm fat", not because I wrote my speech in a mad rush the night before. My weight was my excuse, my security blanket.
I really had to look inside myself and figure out who I was without the weight. And ask myself uncomfortable questions. And get into the issues. Then I started to change my life. Changed the way I looked at myself and I started to lose the weight and lose my security.
Wow - that was way too personal but I hope that it might help.
xx0 -
For some it would be true...for others it wouldn't.
For me it wasn't about wanting it bad enough because I started right away and, regardless of chronic illness, I keep pushing. It was believing I had to stay motivated. Motivation will get you started but turning this into a habit is what will allow you to continue and maybe even go all the way. We get up every morning for school or work or myrids of other reasons. Let being healthy be one of those things you get up for.
I believe it was Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.0 -
When you hit rock bottom...you'll want to get back up.
If you don't feel like eating well and exercising..you are not there yet.
Your mom speaks words of wisdom. When you want it..you will go for it. IMO.0 -
A little bit of both. When you get tired of saying, "I want to lose weight" and it never happening then you will start to figure out what changes you have to make in your life to MAKE it happen. I was in my forties before I got tired of saying, "I am going to lose weight before...(insert family event here)" and it never happened. FINALLY, God revealed a scripture to me (I teach in a Christian Elementary School) to use as a bulletin board message when I REALIZED this wasn't for a bulletin board it was for me!! The scripture says, "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to.... and I added FATTINESS!" I had been "saying" for years what I wanted to do but I had never put any WORK into it. That became my mantra when I didn't feel like going for a walk or when I really wanted a double cheeseburger instead of a grilled chicken sandwich...Over time, the work became less hard and the PROFIT was an 80 lb weight loss. But the work must continue or the profits are lost. and then the work must begin again.......
Just my experience.0 -
For me it wasn't a matter of wanting to. I had wanted to for 15 years. One day I couldn't get my engagement ring on and I started to cry and the look of pain for me on my husband's face hurt me so much I knew that I NEEDED to do something. My wanting and wishing and crying about the lack of progress was just bull**** and I needed to get up and just do it.0
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Sounds like in your case, it is accurate. You don't want to put forth effort, so really you don't WANT to not be fat anymore. When you want it you'll make the changes to accomplish your goals. Until then, you're just spinning your wheels.
AGREED! ANYTHING worth having is worth working for.....0 -
The OP specifically said she doesn't want to eat right and exercise. You are throwing an argument into this thread that isn't relevent and hasn't been postulated.I don't because I have hashimoto's and I really want to lose weight, I eat pretty well, work out, still don't lose. Illness isn't a choice.
No argument. She asked if we agree with the statement. I said I so not.0 -
Perhaps I never wanted it bad enough, but when I saw a much younger friend and much more over weight than me posting about going to the gym and do kettle bell classes, Zumba, water aerobics it hit me ... if she can than I can. I began and it was hard. I could barely move and do what others much heavier than me were doing. I did not compare myself than them, I let them inspire me to move more, complain less. Within a few weeks I was looking forward to my gym time. I am now 55 pounds lighter and I wouldn't be if I had not taken the first step.
Be brave. Be bold. Get out there and just take baby steps and let them grow on you. After all, you do not want to be sitting here at your computer on 2/20-15 (yes one year from today) and asking yourself the same question and wondering when its going to be your turn to post great before and after pictures to inspire someone else.0 -
You're both right; just stating it differently. When you decide that you value the results of treating your body in a healthful manner more than the immediate gratification of eating whatever you want/not exercising then you will be willing to put in the work.0
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why not try tracking what you eat even if it's all junk, but stay in your calorie range. I know most people would disagree but maybe if you try this, step on the scale and if you get results it may make you happy and you start to replace some of that junk with healthy choices, baby steps0
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They say it takes time to develop a habit. I find that when I make a plan for work outs and food it helps. Plan one day. You can do anything for one day. After that do 3 days, a week etc. your body will adjust to liking the healthy food and your cravings for other foods will diminish. There are several apps for nutrition/cooking. Have you looked at spark recipes?
I've been adding recipes to MFP in hopes they start sharing.
For workouts: again take it a day at a time. Get a new outfit or shoes as motivation. Also there is a site called everymove.org. Your activity translates to points that you can use for discounts or charitable donations. I have found that very motivating.
You can do this. Yes you have to want it. I think removing the unknown by taking it a little bit at a time may make 'wanting it' easier.0
http://youtu.be/iItgeWUeQ_4
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