My husband says he isn't attracted to skinny women

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  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
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    All I know is this.

    Funny-memes-real-men-have-curves.jpg

    I love my hubby so much that I would still be attracted to him if he looked like man 2. :wink:
  • LoveAthena
    LoveAthena Posts: 6
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    He'll adjust. Before I lost weight my butt was a lot bigger and my husband LOVED it. Of course he misses the backyard, but he's found other things to love and overall, he loves my new body much more. Not that I'm at goal, but even at goal, I believe he'll find other things he loves about my new body.

    That's how love works, you're always looking for things to love about that person. When one thing changes, you find something new to love.
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
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    in fact when he sees bones he gags.

    That's not a nice comment at all.

    May not be nice but its true. He feels physcially sick. Not my hang up its his.
  • Todayistheday13
    Todayistheday13 Posts: 22 Member
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    He's your husband and should be attracted to you no matter what!! Do what's best for you. =) I've always put myself on the back burner and worried about everyone else. One thing I learned is to never do that! you are just as important than everyone else. He should respect what will make you feel better...
  • Mommybug2
    Mommybug2 Posts: 149 Member
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    When I ask him, all he says is he'll love the way I look no matter what, but if I've always been this size, how can he know for sure? I've talked to him about it, I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and what the outcome was like.

    I think that "skinny" to him is like VS and swimsuit models, but I just want a flat stomach, no back fat and to lose my love handles. They're not very lovely.

    I've been in your shoes. I met my husband at a size 10/12 and he has always said he doesn't like "Skinny" women. I also happen to know certain celebs he finds attractive (Kaley Cuco for one) and I know she is like a size 4 so when he says he doesn't like "Skinny" he is referring to boney not thin.

    In the 17 years since we met I've been a size 10 to a size 20 (after both children). Most of the time I have been a solid size 12. My husband has been attracted to me at all sizes although he has never discouraged my weight loss. In the last year I have shed 75 lbs and gone from a size 20 to a size 8 and I am hearing no complaints. I asked him the other night if he thought I needed to lose more and he said "Your beautiful and I don't know what your worried about, but I just want you to be happy."

    I think I will always be "curvy" so that isn't a problem but I also have no desire to be a size 0 - I am not built like that and don't think it would look good on me. I'm still not quite content at a size 8 but pretty sure I'll go into maintenance once I'm down another size or two. I think now I really just want to stop the jiggle and work on turning fat into muscle which will tone me up, drop me another size and still keep me at a healthy BMI. However I have told my husband to let me know if he thinks I am going to the extreme and he told me not to worry that he would speak loud and clear if he thought I was getting too skinny.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    When I ask him, all he says is he'll love the way I look no matter what, but if I've always been this size, how can he know for sure? I've talked to him about it, I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation, and what the outcome was like.

    I think that "skinny" to him is like VS and swimsuit models, but I just want a flat stomach, no back fat and to lose my love handles. They're not very lovely.

    Oh, I just saw this comment. I think that he is trying not to cause any problems. He doesn't want to say anything that might get himself in trouble. He loves you, and he loves your body. He will love you fitter as well. He doesn't want to say that too soon because he doesn't want you to feel bad or discouraged. You are definitely creating an unnecessary worry. Do the fitness work you want to do and simply watch as he continues to shower you with praise and affection, it may even increase. Fitness is an exciting process.

    Also, men like change. He's not going to say that because it could also lead to a misunderstanding. But, when something changes it invigorates things. He will enjoy the changes as you get fitter, and you will enjoy the changes, and he will enjoy the change that creates in your confidence, enjoyment, sexuality, and you will enjoy his enjoyment. Change is good for everyone involved.

    The fact that you are so worried about this and asking us indicates to me that you are in a situation in which you at least appear to have a somewhat fragile situation in terms of how you feel about your body and how you feel about his attraction to you. He knows that. And he is being careful.

    I really don't understand why you are worrying about this and if this is indeed a genuine worry. Is there something else going on? Is there some underlying feeling you are trying to validate. Or are you looking for an excuse to not work towards your fitness goals. I don't know the answers to these questions. Only you do. But, they are some questions you might want to ask yourself. Because what you are dealing with is not an issue with your husband. It's an issue you are having. Otherwise talking to him would have been enough. You wouldn't have needed to come to us for further comfort, advice, or validation. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just don't understand. I don't. Just some stuff to think about.

    You don't need to spend your time and mind worrying about things like this.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    I would like to think your husband will love you no matter what size you are, but in the end you need to do what is best for you. If you want to lose weight for health or for purely aesthetic reasons, you need to do it for you.
  • justifit
    justifit Posts: 26
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    I was thinking maybe not to get "skinny". Maybe just loose a little so that you are comfortable but maintain a good weight so that your husband is okay also.
  • ottermotorcycle
    ottermotorcycle Posts: 654 Member
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    The answer is: he deals with it.

    Your body, your rules.

    I can't believe people are telling you that you shouldn't achieve your goal body because someone else prefers something different. He's your husband. Presumably, he loves you. Your happiness is supposed to make him happy.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    The answer is: he deals with it.

    Your body, your rules.

    I can't believe people are telling you that you shouldn't achieve your goal body because someone else prefers something different. He's your husband. Presumably, he loves you. Your happiness is supposed to make him happy.

    In that case, she should get a boyfriend or three and make her husband really happy.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    I'm guessing he will change his preference when he sees your new bod. ;)
  • AmandaJordan79
    AmandaJordan79 Posts: 43
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    I have a theory that men want their women curvalicious because they're insecure and think no other man will want his bootylicious wife and she won't cheat either. I always reassure my husband that he's my best friend and even if The Rock is banging down my door I will always stick with him. He's been with me through my worst self and that means more to me than everything.

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