Beyond Unsupportive: Wednesday Morning Rant

245

Replies

  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
    I was married to something very similar for almost 20 years. I' m so glad you got out before any permanent damage was done. When my ex-husband was angry, we all walked around him on tiptoe. He would say things specifically designed to p*** me off. When I got mad, he decided when it was time to forgive me (yes, HE decided when to forgive ME when he began a fight!) and then it was all supposed to be over because he said so. He would play hurt and confused when I was still mad. He'd tell me I was fat (to be fair, I was 5'5" and almost 200 lbs; I looked like a beach ball balanced on drinking straws) so I would begin a diet/exercise program and he would bring home gallons of my favorite ice cream and eat it in front of me. He hated to hear about my workouts, too.

    I tell people I lost 220 pounds of unsightly weight on September 16, 2002. When they ask how, I tell them, "he went home to his mother." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet, girl! You deserve better. :flowerforyou:
  • angdpowers
    angdpowers Posts: 311 Member
    oh honey, thank goodness you finally realize you love yourself more than to put up with this bullsh*t because seriously, that is ridiculous! Trust me when I say that the words that came out of his mouth? Those were just the tip of the iceberg of what he's REALLY feeling.

    There is no "fixing" anyone and he doesn't need to be in a relationship and sure the hell not with you. I'm shocked you're being so kind to let him stay until Saturday. I mean really!

    Please do not falter. You know what you have to do. You deserve to have a different life. Sometimes in the beginning "a different life" is hard but each day gets easier. Its just like with eating right and exercising, it gets easier.

    Much love to you sister!
    You will see how good life can be once he's gone!!!
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    buhbye.jpg
  • arwacky
    arwacky Posts: 1,653 Member
    Yay OP!!! :drinker:

    Good for you! MFP will gladly support you through your journey. :flowerforyou:
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Obviously there are underlying issues here. Sounds like it's the best thing for both of you.

    this.

    plus "WOW"
  • TriShamelessly
    TriShamelessly Posts: 905 Member
    The only question - is why are you still in this relationship?
  • Davina_JH
    Davina_JH Posts: 473 Member
    Sounds emotionally abusive. What a d**k!!

    Move on, happily, now! You deserve way better.

    He is not a real man.
  • jeffininer
    jeffininer Posts: 204 Member
    Sounds to me like the decision should have been made after the first comment! Holy heck I would have lost it...

    No choice in the matter, drop him and leave him at the curb. There is no doubt you deserve better!!
  • cfl68
    cfl68 Posts: 48 Member
    Good for you. Only need those around us that will support and bring positives to our lives. Anyone is doesn't fit that, SEE YA!!!!!! Keep up the good work and stay proud of your accomplishments.
  • x7xemilyx7x
    x7xemilyx7x Posts: 22 Member
    Well this guy isn't worth it - you don't need someone so unsupportive in your life - our OH's are supposed to encourage us!

    Congratulations on the weight loss too :)
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    buhbye.jpg

    love the old school SNL reference
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    Congratulations on losing "220" pounds of emotionally unhealthy boyfriend?!
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member

    "I'm tired of banging a fatass. I want a hot blonde."

    Girl, you're a better person that I.....

    I would have straight up kicked him in the balls. :drinker:

    Hells yes! Good self control.
  • 1LoveChips
    1LoveChips Posts: 260 Member
    Poor you! Some people eh... :angry:

    You look young enough and sound clever enough to make a better future for yourself not surrounded by idiots!
  • mortuseon
    mortuseon Posts: 579 Member
    Hahah. Well, good luck to him getting a 'hot blonde' with that attitude. Good riddance.
  • uncharted01
    uncharted01 Posts: 105 Member
    he sounds like a total douche nozzle and you deserve WAY better! stand your ground girl and keep up the good work! :flowerforyou:
  • lizzardsm
    lizzardsm Posts: 271 Member
    Obviously there are underlying issues here. Sounds like it's the best thing for both of you.

    Yup. This. His like dissatisfaction runs much deeper than any issues he might have with you. Had a bf like that too - tried to blame me for things he didn't like about his past and his life. You soooooo did the right thing and you'll feel better too!

    And this totally isn't a rant. This sounds like an NSV!
  • iwantniceabs
    iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
    I think your soon-to-be-moving-out-this-saturday-ex should actually be your comes-home-with-all-his-crap-in-the-yard-and-the-door-locked-tonight ex :)
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    lol, i dont know why him saying "it's weird" makes me laugh. how strange.
  • rondaj05
    rondaj05 Posts: 497 Member
    Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

    :laugh: ROFL... well said!! :drinker:
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
    I think your soon-to-be-moving-out-this-saturday-ex should actually be your comes-home-with-all-his-crap-in-the-yard-and-the-door-locked-tonight ex :)

    This!
  • MissKim78
    MissKim78 Posts: 426 Member
    I was with my ex for 18 years....since I was 15. He was always lazy, never wanting to do anything, and never had the desire to eat healthy even thought technically he was morbidly obese. I started doing my own thing and we drifted apart. Barely speaking and never touching. One day, in 2012, I was joking around because he was super quiet and I said jokingly "what, don't you love me anymore?"....no response. And it went from there for hours and he eventually said he wasn't happy and didn't want to be with me anymore. We were married for less than 3 years but I suggested counselling. He said no. A few days later, after a LOT of prying, he finally blurts out he has feelings for my now-ex best friend and that they have been together behind my back for over 2 months and want to be together. I lost my s**t. LOL I told him to get the eff out...after I threw my glass at his head.

    In the weeks to follow I went into a depression and lost almost 20lbs in a month from not eating. After some medication from my doc and therapy from friends and family, I snapped out of it and realized I didn't need him....nor was I in love with him anymore....and that I deserved better!

    I think in relationships, people can sometimes tend to get comfortable...and complacent. He never made me feel pretty or sexy....not even on our wedding day. So I had come to believe that I wasn't and therefore couldn't get any better. He never put any effort in. Never showed any interest in my day or my cares.

    I am now in an amazing, passionate relationship going on 2 years. This man is so caring, thoughtful, romantic and makes me feel beautiful and loved every single day. Sadly I've gained the 20lbs back though so that is what brought me here! haha

    There IS something better out there....whether it be finding yourself or finding someone new or both! It seems obvious that something wasn't there for you two....and he doesn't seem worth trying to fight for something you might never accomplish.
    Drop the dead weight and move on to bigger better things!
  • rmcolorado
    rmcolorado Posts: 22
    You're free! I remember that time .... When I kicked my ex to the curb I was obese, 6 months later when I saw him in court for the first time I had never looked so hot in my life lol. That was because I realized I was free and everything I did from then on was my choice, my thoughts and my opinions. No more walking on egg shells or worrying about what he thought or did...And I will never settle for that again. You go girl! Enjoy that freedom you deserve it.
  • CEThornton
    CEThornton Posts: 45
    Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

    couldn't have said it better!!
    you're doing amazingly and keep it up, who know's who you could meet at the gym :devil:
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
    Just....WOW. Don't wait. Tell him to get his *kitten* and get the frack out, and good luck with finding a hot blonde that will want his lazy *kitten*.
  • MissKim78
    MissKim78 Posts: 426 Member
    Just....WOW. Don't wait. Tell him to get his *kitten* and get the frack out, and good luck with finding a hot blonde that will want his lazy *kitten*.

    YESSSS! :laugh:
  • GeekdGirl
    GeekdGirl Posts: 218 Member
    Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

    Most definitely
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,725 Member
    Sounds like this upcoming Saturday your are going to be losing a lot of unhealthy, useless fat all at once. Now, that's what I call a Non-Scale Victory!

    and

    Just....WOW. Don't wait. Tell him to get his **** and get the frack out, and good luck with finding a hot blonde that will want his lazy *kitten*.

    I couldn't have said it better myself! You deserve SO much better! Much love to you
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Just....WOW. Don't wait. Tell him to get his *kitten* and get the frack out, and good luck with finding a hot blonde that will want his lazy *kitten*.
    That was my first thought-- "How are you going to attract that hot blond to bang?! It sure as hell isn't going to be with your stunning good looks or stellar personality!" Hope he's rich. Regardless, what a sad life he'll be in for.

    Actually, no. My first thought was to say "What a coincidence. Me too."
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Get him out ASAP and use that tank of fuel he gave you for your fire, burn baby burn, losing weight feels good enough but doing it in spite of someone else as well as other great personal reasons just makes the victory all the more sweet!

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