my fiance keeps junk in the house

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Replies

  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    I have trouble keeping my hands off my husband's junk too. If he would keep it out of sight I think it would make things easier, but whenever I see it I start craving. I'm sure you feel the same way, about your fiance's junk. When the junk is available it is much harder to resist. I like the idea a previous poster mentioned of keeping it in a cupboard or something locked away.
    :indifferent:
  • laughingirl71
    laughingirl71 Posts: 51 Member
    Yes, I will say...My fiancé's "junk" is AWESOME...and I always want it for myself. HAHAHAHA. I'm rolling here. Thank you Blue for making me giggle. I don't think he would like his "JUNK" locked away...but I'll ask!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    I think I may just be too selfish to get married. On the other hand, it feels like he chose ice cream over my feelings.

    Oh sweetie, I think you have that backwards. When we think that having a bowl of icecream is more important than the health and happiness of someone we are supposed to love, now that is being selfish.

    A good relationship is about compromise. We BOTH have to give a little in order for a relationship to be a good one. If you can not come to a compromise now, over something like junk food, trust me, having kids is not going to be a piece of cake (pardon the pun).

    You ARE WORTHY of someone that puts you first, period.
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    Yes, I will say...My fiancé's "junk" is AWESOME...and I always want it for myself. HAHAHAHA. I'm rolling here. Thank you Blue for making me giggle. I don't think he would like his "JUNK" locked away...but I'll ask!

    Yeah, I doubt my husband would appreciate it much either. Let the junk roam free. Better for everyone involved. :wink:
  • Ryanne513
    Ryanne513 Posts: 3 Member
    My problem is a little worst than yours. I watch my 3 year old nieces three days a week and I buy cookies and ice cream for them.
    Problem is I've been eating more of that stuff than they have. I just started MFP a couple of days ago. But I have come to the conclusion that it is my problem, so I have to figure out a way to navigate my way out of it. What I am doing is making sure I have free stacks available for myself when temptation arises, i.e. sugar-free popsicle, rice cakes, sugar-free jello, sugar free hard candy etc. "Good Luck" , and remember you are not alone.
  • JuliaLee67
    JuliaLee67 Posts: 149
    and a small part of me is very selfish. (or maybe a large part of me) I own my house, and was used to having my own way until he moved in a month ago. It's been a huge adjustment (as should be expected) and the whole situation stresses me out. not just the food.


    And that is the root of your problem. If it is not him, it will be someone else, so what will you do, blame having the food on everyone else. It is all up to you. I go through this daily, some days are harder than others. Learn to have a couple chips and save the rest or tomorrow. At the end you will become a stronger person.

    this so much. and op, also consider your life down the road: if you have to work, there's a very good chance that your work enviornment will be filled with 'junk food' every day. there will be birthdays with cakes, people bringing in donuts or other treats, dishes of candy, vending machines full of chips and sodas... and then there's the holidays, lol. and you will have to deal with friends and family who enjoy things like that. the point is, you really do just have to suck it up and deal with it.

    its not easy, but it can be done and you can do it, too. and in my opinion from what i have observed [and echoing what others have said], indulging oneself as a treat every once in awhile increases your resistance to temptation all those other times!
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    My problem is a little worst than yours. I watch my 3 year old nieces three days a week and I buy cookies and ice cream for them.
    Problem is I've been eating more of that stuff than they have. I just started MFP a couple of days ago. But I have come to the conclusion that it is my problem, so I have to figure out a way to navigate my way out of it. What I am doing is making sure I have free stacks available for myself when temptation arises, i.e. sugar-free popsicle, rice cakes, sugar-free jello, sugar free hard candy etc. "Good Luck" , and remember you are not alone.

    you might also want to consider giving the kids something a little more healthy if you're giving it to them 3 day a week. that is often. Just a thought.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    Let the junk roam free.

    Uhmmmm.... you do know how most people take things literally, here?

    ron_jeremy.jpg
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    It's your relationship and whatever you decide to do about this issue is up to you.

    You have the option to fight until you win/ break up or drop it.

    Your current partner needs to realize that he will benefit from a happier and thinner you.

    Only you know how much you care about this issue.

    Good luck.
  • laughingirl71
    laughingirl71 Posts: 51 Member
    LOL...I teach fourth grade, and my students know the way to my heart is reece's. I recognize that life is full of temptations. I was honestly just looking for a way to solve the HOME problem. I do NOT as some have suggested, expect friends, hosts and hostesses of outings, restaurants, co workers, students to change and accommodate my nutritional desires. Contrary to popular belief, I am not quite that egocentric. I HAVE managed to lose 65 lbs and keep it off for over a year...even with all of the aforementioned distractions and temptations. That being said, I am an individual, and what worked for me while losing and maintaining was keeping a relatively clean home environment. A safe zone. Perhaps everyone else in the world can surround themselves with "junk" and not ever be tempted to partake, but I, alas, am not that strong. OR...dare I suggest, this is part of the secret to my success, while the pictures of some of the other posters who claim to have no problem with will power or junk food would suggest otherwise. May we all find our own path to health and happiness, and allow others the same chance.
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    Let the junk roam free.

    Uhmmmm.... you do know how most people take things literally, here?

    {ron jeremy creeps me out}

    LoL Well, I was referring to a man's junk in his own home. I have no qualms with that. Unless he prefers being caged of course. To each his own.
  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    hey at least he has junk..you could be unfortunate enough to be with someone who doesnt know how to use their junk
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    My fiancé has never struggled with his weight in his life, and the women he's been with in the past were extremely thin as well. I've lost 60 lbs over the past three years, and struggle every day to maintain that loss. I've asked him a few times to please keep chips, candy, ice cream and all alcohol but beer and red wine (I don't care for these) out of the house. He won't, and makes me feel weak and stupid for asking for such a thing. Just this morning, I asked if maybe we could keep these things out of the house just for four weeks, so I could get a handle on my eating....and he refused, saying that I'm the one with a problem. I know I'm the one with a problem, and I suppose I'm selfish for asking for accommodations. Has anyone else had this problem? If so, what did you do? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
    Laura

    I don't really think it's fair to ask him to keep foods he likes to eat out of the house. I think asking him to keep it out of YOUR sight is completely fair though. There must be somewhere in your house for him to hide his "stash." Go out and buy a bin from Target or Walmart and he can keep his junk food in there. That way it is hidden from you- out of sight, out of mind.
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    hey at least he has junk..you could be unfortunate enough to be with someone who doesnt know how to use their junk

    Why did you have to go there? She is obviously referring to the junk you eat! Not the sort of junk a guy uses. :eyeroll:
  • laughingirl71
    laughingirl71 Posts: 51 Member
    hey at least he has junk..you could be unfortunate enough to be with someone who doesnt know how to use their junk

    LMAO...we have gotten onto a topic with which I have NO complaints....his "junk". I shall never complain about his "JUNK" again. I have been sufficiently chastised and humbled. To quote blue..."let the junk roam free!" Free the junk!
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
    [harsh advice follows]

    I'd suggest not trying to push what is ultimately your issue into being his problem.

    The fact is it is up to YOU to deal with your food choices and maintenance, and the rest of the world won't change to make it easier for you.

    ^I couldn't have said this any better myself! Others can only support you so much when it comes to meeting your goals. I see a lot of people on MFP suggesting that their SO isn't supporting them because they're bringing junk food into the house. Refusing to change ones lifestyle alongside you because you want them to is not a lack of support, it is simply a challenge that you will have to find a way to overcome. On your own. Why not just eat these things in moderation since it is so hard to say no completely?
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    I have the same problem. My boyfriend is fit & thin and loves ice cream, candy, chips etc...

    He gets ONE cupboard for all of his things. I never go in there.

    If you can't just have a junk cupboard, and stay out of it, I think you have another, different issue that maybe a therapist could help you get to the bottom of.

    People who live with you shouldn't be penalized because of your restrictions You definitely have to find a way to compromise without having this "all or nothing" attitude.
  • Ryanne513
    Ryanne513 Posts: 3 Member
    Don't get me wrong! I give my nieces fruit, veggies too. When I say they have ice cream I mean the little kiddie cups, when I give them cookies it's 3 or 4 animal shaped graham crackers. I prepare balanced meals for them when they are with me. I would be a fool to over feed toddlers....... Don't get it twisted!
  • laughingirl71
    laughingirl71 Posts: 51 Member
    for those of you who are fully invested in this soap opera of a thread...I actually talked to my fiancé about my feelings and a lot of what's been said here. bottom line:

    1. he's not an *kitten*
    2. I'm not always the best communicator
    3. junk food will live at work for four weeks
    4. then he will have a drawer in the pantry
    5. he likes his other junk to be able to roam free (in the house)
    6. I'm ok with that
    7. we really do love and care for each other...but it's not always roses and lollipops
    8. some of y'all really cracked me up and had some insightful things to share
    9. some of y'all are real turkeys, and that's not my problem
    10. peace out.
  • Blue801
    Blue801 Posts: 442
    for those of you who are fully invested in this soap opera of a thread...I actually talked to my fiancé about my feelings and a lot of what's been said here. bottom line:

    1. he's not an *kitten*
    2. I'm not always the best communicator
    3. junk food will live at work for four weeks
    4. then he will have a drawer in the pantry
    5. he likes his other junk to be able to roam free (in the house)
    6. I'm ok with that
    7. we really do love and care for each other...but it's not always roses and lollipops
    8. some of y'all really cracked me up and had some insightful things to share
    9. some of y'all are real turkeys, and that's not my problem
    10. peace out.

    *highFive* way to communicate OP!

    ETA Also pleased to know the junk will roam free
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    for those of you who are fully invested in this soap opera of a thread...I actually talked to my fiancé about my feelings and a lot of what's been said here. bottom line:

    1. he's not an *kitten*
    2. I'm not always the best communicator
    3. junk food will live at work for four weeks
    4. then he will have a drawer in the pantry
    5. he likes his other junk to be able to roam free (in the house)
    6. I'm ok with that
    7. we really do love and care for each other...but it's not always roses and lollipops
    8. some of y'all really cracked me up and had some insightful things to share
    9. some of y'all are real turkeys, and that's not my problem
    10. peace out.

    Compromise and communication, the two most important things in a relationship. Good for you for working it out
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    for those of you who are fully invested in this soap opera of a thread...I actually talked to my fiancé about my feelings and a lot of what's been said here. bottom line:

    1. he's not an *kitten*
    2. I'm not always the best communicator
    3. junk food will live at work for four weeks
    4. then he will have a drawer in the pantry
    5. he likes his other junk to be able to roam free (in the house)
    6. I'm ok with that
    7. we really do love and care for each other...but it's not always roses and lollipops
    8. some of y'all really cracked me up and had some insightful things to share
    9. some of y'all are real turkeys, and that's not my problem
    10. peace out.

    Glad we could help.

    charity-help3-404x256.jpg
  • Amy4President
    Amy4President Posts: 165 Member
    I don't live with a significant other, but I do live with 4 roommates in one house. One eats pretty healthy (but still has ice cream on hand), one cooks amazing Italian meals (hello carbs), one lives off of pasta and weights 114lbs (not kidding, I'm so jealous), and the fourth keeps a bunch of junk in the house (and is the heaviest out of all of us). It's hard because there is always beer (in its own fridge even), wine, ice cream, cookies, candies, etc. etc. in this house. I try so hard not to buy any of it and just avoid the processed food aisles in general. But I knew that if I had a craving, I could find something in the house to eat because it's always there. What stops me is knowing it's not my food. We're all in law school, we're all on a budget. So while those Oreos seem like a good idea, they aren't mine and I don't want to have to buy an entire package to replace 3 of hers.

    I guess what I'm getting at is to start thinking of your fiancee's food as "his" food (even if purchased with joint funds). Those are HIS decisions, HIS purchases, and he decides what goes into HIS body. Whereas your container of strawberries is yours, your time at the gym is your decision, etc. etc. YOU can decide what you cook for dinner and to fill up most of your plate with salad and not junk.

    I'm not here to give you relationship advice (or anybody advice on that matter). But this way of thinking and helped me ward of temptations from living with 4 other people, so maybe it will help you too :)
  • lemonsnowdrop
    lemonsnowdrop Posts: 1,298 Member
    I've been living with my husband for almost two years. I've been eating healthy for two months, and he still buys whatever junk food he wants. Chips, cookies, soda, you name it. He's not trying to lose weight, I am. Why shouldn't he enjoy snacks? I have enough self control to not eat those things. He's not forcing me to eat them, just like I won't force him not to.
  • Really??? Has he finished unpacking yet??? To the left...to the left...
  • Arranna1212
    Arranna1212 Posts: 143 Member
    I know a really great workout for whenever someone is offering you sweets.
    Stand up straight, pull your core tight, turn your head left, then right.. Repeat until they stop.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    for those of you who are fully invested in this soap opera of a thread...I actually talked to my fiancé about my feelings and a lot of what's been said here. bottom line:

    1. he's not an *kitten*
    2. I'm not always the best communicator
    3. junk food will live at work for four weeks
    4. then he will have a drawer in the pantry
    5. he likes his other junk to be able to roam free (in the house)
    6. I'm ok with that
    7. we really do love and care for each other...but it's not always roses and lollipops
    8. some of y'all really cracked me up and had some insightful things to share
    9. some of y'all are real turkeys, and that's not my problem
    10. peace out.
    Sounds like you solved it. Keep on truckin'.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Let the junk roam free.

    Uhmmmm.... you do know how most people take things literally, here?

    ron_jeremy.jpg


    Love junk in the house!!!;)
  • rosebette
    rosebette Posts: 1,660 Member
    My husband was diagnosed as diabetic when he was in his mid 40s about 10 years ago. At the time, my 3 kids were still home (all teen-agers), and I didn't have any health or weight problems then. We eliminated all "white foods" from the house, stopped buying ice cream except as occasional treats and didn't keep cookies and things like that in the house anymore, and changed to eating more vegetables and proteins and fewer carbs. I have a bread machine that I used all the time that I use now only if I'm bringing something to a pot luck. My husband is exposed to temptations elsewhere when he travels; why should I subject him to it when he's at home? Why should I make his struggle harder for him? I still have my two sons at home with me. When my husband travels, we have pasta for dinner or order a pizza, but not when he's home. Also, my whole family began to eat healthier. My daughter who has since moved out is now a vegetarian and cooks everything from scratch. So I guess my response to OP is that if her significant other really cares about her, he might restrict his junk eating to when she's not around. Once a week, DH and I go out to dinner and might cheat a bit but the experience is more about eating in a restaurant together, not the food. The rest of the time, we stick to plan when he's at home. In a long-term relationship people try to support each others' efforts toward good health. This comes from an old broad who's been married 30 years.
  • I have the EXACT same problem! My fiance is a junk food junkie, and so am I. But I'm on a mission to change that. I refuse to buy any junk food (the worst I buy is Granola Bars or a vanilla pudding snack pack) But I also do the main shopping. If he wants the junk he has to buy it himself. And he will. But I keep it up high where I don't see it. Out of sight out of mind? right? well not always because I know that their is a can of Pringles calling my name but I just ignore it. Ive learned little tricks that seem to help. I no longer keep the fruit and veggies in the crisper drawers. I keep them right up front on the shelf or in clear containers (I saw this on the TODAY show a while back and it seems to work) And I have him keep his junk food snacks that he likes to take to work in his car (its cold atm so this works for now) and I keep all his soda at the bottom of the fridge behind the gallons of milk, water, juice etc. Hope he decides this is what's best for you in the long. Best of luck to you -x0x