Friends say I am too skinny now

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  • fitphoenix
    fitphoenix Posts: 9,673 Member
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    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    You look fit and fabulous in your profile pic! Don't let jerks get you down. I know it's tough not to listen to criticism and negativity, but you know there are always going to be idiots out there. *You* feel strong (you said yourself) and need to concentrate on how you feel and not how anyone else feels about you. (That said, I'm sure you'll get way more positive feedback than negative, because you look awesome!)
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
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    I've had a few of these comments. Funny how the same people weren't as concerned for my health when I was obese.
    I'm SO going to use this line.
  • Alanhalil
    Alanhalil Posts: 62 Member
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    All my family and friends make jokes that I am disappearing, that I am too skinny now and look like a refugee or something lol. I just put it down to them being used to seeing me as overweight so aren't used to seeing me as I am currently.
  • erc89432
    erc89432 Posts: 21
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    I love how it's so much easier for people to tell a person that they are "too skinny" rather than "too fat." Honestly, skinny shaming does exist and it disgusts me! I have been told to "go eat a burger" plenty of times and it ticks me off. My sister has a naturally high metabolism and was 5'2" and around 100 pounds for years. She ate huge portions but was on cross country so that only helped with keeping her weight down. People would tease her and say that she was "too skinny" or accuse her of having an eating disorder even though she was all muscle and ate more than most people do. After a while it really got to her and she stopped exercising and would eat food that was not as good for her for the sole purpose of gaining weight. It's been a few years and she has finally realized that allowing those people to mess with her healthy lifestyle wasn't the right thing to do. Skinny shaming is pathetic in my opinion and usually a result of the other person's insecurity of their own body or just jealousy. Or they are just plain ignorant.
  • lightmouse
    lightmouse Posts: 175 Member
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    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    You look fit and fabulous in your profile pic! Don't let jerks get you down. I know it's tough not to listen to criticism and negativity, but you know there are always going to be idiots out there. *You* feel strong (you said yourself) and need to concentrate on how you feel and not how anyone else feels about you. (That said, I'm sure you'll get way more positive feedback than negative, because you look awesome!)

    Thank you for this :flowerforyou: I felt I couldn't tell any friends/family how upset it made me because they'd all be like "oh boo hoo you" but it really hurt! x
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
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    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty. Unfortunately genetics have not been kind to me that department, so even if I stopped working out and ate everything in sight I'd still be flat chested. Normally I brush the "skinny" comments off, I've been working so hard to get a strong body and I am proud of myself but today I just feel sad and unattractive.

    :frown:

    Screw him. Who is he to say what's ideal for you?

    Next time anyone starts that "you're skinny..." conversation with you, don't go there with them. We all know these conversations usually never go anywhere pleasant.

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  • GracieGag
    GracieGag Posts: 24 Member
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    I think you look great! 107 at 5' 2 " sounds fine to me. Just ignore those rude so called "friends".
  • fificrazy
    fificrazy Posts: 234
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    I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile).

    Ahhh that had to have been the most liberating moment of your life!
  • 2014myyear
    2014myyear Posts: 60 Member
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    I have had the oh your soooo skinny all my life, and now im trying to gain. The other day a co-worker came up behind me and said "hi skinny" so i replied "hi fatty" i had just had enough! (i normally just smile).

    Ahhh that had to have been the most liberating moment of your life!

    Funnily enough no.. i felt bad for calling her fat! LOL
  • BackToWeddingWeight
    BackToWeddingWeight Posts: 7
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    It could be that those people have gotten used to seeing you at your heavier weight - and now you look very thin compared to that. I have gotten that at my lowest weight (5'5, 135 lb) but I carry most of my weight in my lower half. As long as you are healthy and you feel good you have nothing to worry about. People are always quick to judge - they just kept it to themselves when you were heavier.

    Great job!
  • SoulOfRusalka
    SoulOfRusalka Posts: 1,201 Member
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    I'm 5'3 and 106, and I'm definitely not that skinny (certainly not like a cancer patient). Your friend is probably just concerned, but you should explain to them that criticizing your body isn't going to help any more than telling a friend they looked horribly fat would encourage them to lose weight.
  • canadjineh
    canadjineh Posts: 5,396 Member
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    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty.
    :frown:

    In case you didn't realize it honey, this is also a form of sexual harassment. Next time some guy tells you you need more curves - tell him straight out that you are documenting his comments and he'd better quit it or you will inform management about the harassment. :angry:
  • Wingg_
    Wingg_ Posts: 395 Member
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    I can totally understand how you feel because a friend of mine often comment that I'm too skinny which I'm not.
    When we were practicing for my school's sports carnival I joined tug of war. She was like are you serious? You so skinny how to play? But I chose to just ignore those comments because I like how I look now. If you like the way you look now, just ignore those negative comments people saying. Believe in yourself.
  • AvengersMom
    AvengersMom Posts: 6
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    Too be honest it has been mostly "bigger" people with insecurities that have a problem with my weight. I never hear this from the other "fit" women I work out with and an friends with. I really have a problem with the fact that no one was concerned for my health when I was fat!!! Now I am smaller everyone including strangers in front of my kids have something to say. I work out a lot and push myself. If I was unhealthy I wouldn't be able to do the miles and weights. Next person that says something rude I am challenging to a race or arm wrestle! I would love to tell all the obese people that they need to stop eating crap, start working out and stop being a huge strain in our health care system. I could never say something like that but strangers can tell me "it looks like she needs a sandwich" or that my husband must be a dog as he goes for bones. By the way my husband is proud of me, doesn't think I'm too skinny and laughs at all the comments.
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
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    Just assure them that you are healthy and thank them for their good intentions with a smile. I hope they don't say that to tear you down.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    While I agree it's rude to comment on your weight (I often get similar comments), your pic is of you ten pounds ago, right? People on here judging you by that an saying you look healthy and fantastic aren't really looking at an accurate image.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Also, when people see someone lose 40-50 pounds, they're so used to you being overweight that they do feel shocked seeing you so thin. Hopefully they're only speaking out of concern for you, at which point you can assure them you're completely healthy and have a safe BMI.
  • Losing_Sarah
    Losing_Sarah Posts: 279 Member
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    This is a common thing for people to hear after losing weight. Even if a person is still overweight, in fact. I think the main reason is because people are so used to seeing you one way that when your appearance changed so dramatically people think it's too skinny.

    I wouldn't worry about it and the comments keep happening just tell that you are happier and healthier than you have been in a long time and leave it at that.

    Congrats, btw, for taking control of your health!!
  • Losing_Sarah
    Losing_Sarah Posts: 279 Member
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    I am feeling a bit blue today because yet again, someone at work made a comment about my weight. It was one of the men, I was working with him all day and about four hours into the shift he said to me "well you could do with putting on some weight couldn't you". I stewed on it for about half an hour then just blew up in the end, and said "if I was overweight, would you tell me to my face I needed to lose some?" He replied "no I'd never tell a woman she was fat it's not worth the hassle". I then asked him where, in his expert opinion, I should put the weight on. He was like "you just need a few curves on you".

    So basically, he was telling me I need a bigger chest, rounder hips and a booty.
    :frown:

    In case you didn't realize it honey, this is also a form of sexual harassment. Next time some guy tells you you need more curves - tell him straight out that you are documenting his comments and he'd better quit it or you will inform management about the harassment. :angry:

    Absolutely this!
  • AvengersMom
    AvengersMom Posts: 6
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    While I agree it's rude to comment on your weight (I often get similar comments), your pic is of you ten pounds ago, right? People on here judging you by that an saying you look healthy and fantastic aren't really looking at an accurate image.

    I said about 10 pounds. It could be 5 it could be 7. I don't constantly take new pics of myself and record what weight I was then lol. But thanks all the comments that made me feel better I will disregard.

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