if you could go back...

I would tell my mom that when she realizes the man she has allowed to be my stepfather is in my bedroom and not hers that she should go upstairs and walk in on him, and then call the police. That would be a start. Or that any of the number of things she witnessed go way beyond "red flag". I really don't think there was much hope for my mother. Probably be best if I were able to have had the mind of an adult when I was a child, so that I could have taken care of myself and gotten help for myself.

I debated even engaging in this thread once I saw what it was about, but I had to say: eloquently put, as always. That's something I've had to work on for quite awhile--not holding my child self responsible for what I can see, say, and do for myself now as an adult.

I'm glad to see a handful of people have nothing to tell their parents wish that's how the majority was posting.
I'm sorry to everyone who's childhoods weren't in fact much of a childhood.
All families have their problems there ups and downs. But children deserve to children.

i'd tell myself i was worth more than a punch bag and she is beautiful and can have any man who is worth her time x

Nothing. I would thank them for what they have done for me and keeping me on the right path. I would want to thank them sooner than when I had.

This. I am lucky to have amazing parents that taught me to think for myself and have always supported my decisions, wrong or right. I would also thank them for getting me the hell out of Texas at a young age, instead of *****ing about it the whole time.

I am truly sorry that a lot of you seemed to have a such rough childhood. :flowerforyou:

I just want to say that honestly evaluating the past is how we break the cycles of abuse within a family and provide a healthy childhood for our own children. My own children have a genuinely good childhood, with two loving parents. And my issues are my own and not theirs. Of course all people will have issues and "hardships" and no parent can be perfect. Realizing we aren't perfect is actually part of being a good parent. But, there is a difference between the normal hardships of life, growing up, being human, being around other humans and actual criminal abuses and traumas. Sometimes those issues do not end in childhood, they are issues that can continue to be problematic between the parent and child through out life. But, that aside, I do deal with my own issues on my own. I actually do not expect my mother to be capable of something that she is not capable of. As far as she knows we have a good relationship. I simply keep it light with her and do not go deep. But, I am honest with myself.