Dealing with Haters

The teacher spoke to them last term about the bullying and they let up for about a week, and then came up with the chubby chasers prank. I really don't want to know what will happen if I report them again. I really just don't understand how and why twentysomethings are being so freaking hateful, or how to deal with it. I stress/emotionally eat and I know I do it, and they just keep pushing my buttons.

Maybe making snide comments back is the answer, but then they turn around and report me for a "bad attitude."

Personally, I don't believe imitating their behavior will accomplish anything for the good. They remind me of the "popular high school kids" who enjoyed taunting others. Trust me when I tell you that most likely they have serious issues of their own. While it is tempting to walk over and smack them upside the head, there is another way you could consider. So here is the advice I learned from my friend's 12 year old daughter who passed away in 2004. It's called: BETHANY'S CHALLENGE

What a twelve year old with leukemia taught us about God and treating people right, even the ones that are difficult to be around.

At her funeral, Bethany’s Sunday school teacher, Lesa, was able to speak a few minutes about her. Here is what we learned about a conversation between teacher and student and I think after hearing this story you will see who the real teacher and student is in this case. Bethany had lost all of her long beautiful hair because of her treatments to combat the cancer. Being an elementary student with no hair was not to be overlooked by some of the boys in her school who would make fun of her. Lesa was sharing how Bethany endured the embarrassing ridicule. “Miss Lesa,” she said, “Do you know what I do when those mean boys make fun of me because of my bald head? I decide to treat them nice on purpose.” From out of the mouth of babes came one of the most profound theological truths that Jesus taught.

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” (New Living Translation)

I call Matthew 7:12, “Bethany’s Challenge. This is why I read and pray Matthew 7:12 every day. I have to learn and practice how to love and forgive. I have to remind myself to be nice to people on purpose. And who among us could face God one day, with Bethany sitting by his side, or most likely in his lap and make any excuse for not being willing to learn and practice Bethany’s Challenge?

Join us…..make a decision that will change the rest of someone else’s life (and yours as well) by taking Bethany’s Challenge. It’s not about doing random acts of kindness…there is nothing random about it…..it is something you have to do on Purpose………..Every day!

However you choose to deal with these immature women, do not give up nor give in. Just focus on your goal.

I think the posters left some great advice here. I wanted to add that I've only been going to spinning for about two months now, but there is always a girl who sits front and center, and she helped me set my bike up on my first day when I was fumbling around with it. She was so happy when I came back to my second class and gave me advice on spinning shoes (which I bought) and is generally just an awesome person. Last night in class, the instructor's bike is on a little stage and he asked that girl to join him up on the stage. He said "Lindsay gave me permission to announce that as of today, she has lost 100 lbs since she started spinning last year". I would've had NO idea. I congratulated her after class and told her she inspires more people than she could ever know, including myself.

Moral of the story, keep going to spinning if you love it and whoever disagrees can go to hell.

"EXERCISE to be fit, NOT SKINNY. EAT to nourish your body & ALWAYS IGNORE the haters, doubters & unhealthy examples that were once feeding you. YOU are worth more than you realise."

Let what they say fuel you. Only you know what your personal goals are. It takes time. Belive in yourself. You are the only one that should matter to you. You will get there. I believe in you!

My response to that sort of stuff was to be ridiculous and say so everyone can hear and with lots of arm flailing, "Oh no you huwt my wittew feewings and I'm going to go cwy now," and then walk away laughing and saying, "what a dumbass!"

They'd be so embarrassed to have been involved in such a conversation in front of other people that they wouldn't bother trying again.

Honestly, you need to go to someone about the teacher. I don't know what your school system is like but you need to go to the dean of students, like somone else mentioned. Or a school counselor. Take all of the evidence with you because it sounds like you have a lot. That is ridiculous. You are trying to better yourself and your health and they are tearing you apart for no reason. Keep doing what you are doing. And next time they say something make a snide remark of "at least I can improve my weight. How are you going to improve your personality" or something along those lines. But I would use that as a last resort. Do not let them have any evidence of retaliation from you before you go to the dean or counselor. Seriously, you need to report them.

Your school should have a student code of conduct. What those girls are doing is cyber bullying. Most school, colleges or universities would have a policy against that. You should contact your office of student affairs to talk to some one about your options for reporting these monsters.

Next time they say something to you, tell them, "Yes, I'm fat. I'm working on it. I can and will lose weight. However, you will always be a dumb *****."

And then punch her.

SAVE THAT BULLYING EMAIL. You will need to show it to someone in authority to prove the bullying.

In the meantime, here are some comebacks.
"Is someone trying to talk to me? You're just so scrawny I can't see you."
"I don't pay attention to skeletons."
"Preparing for your Skeletor audition, I see."
"You mean you can speak? I thought you'd be too weak, given how skinny you are."
"Kwashiorkor?"
"Doesn't your mother feed you?"
"I bet you're flunking this class. How can you even think when you're starving?"

I'm a Whovian too - cool name for a cat!

Remember bow ties are cool - The Doc doesn't care about peoples opinions of what he wears so don't care about what these small minded bullies (who probably only have skinny going for them and zero personalities) have to say.

x

Use it as motivation - every time you show up to spin class, you win! Some day you will finish the spin class and you will feel on top of the world. Hold your head high - you can do it!

I see you're 26. How old are they? In any case you do need to handle this. They are continuing to do this because they think they can and get away with it (which so far they have). I don't recommend doing anything physical. What type of school is this? I'm presuming you won't have to see these people ever again after you finish, so I'd take the evidence ot harrasment (because that's what this is) to the school with at least one piece of evidence that you told them to stop and they didn't.

But honestly I'd be tempted to go to the police if I were you.

I love seeing new people of all sizes at the gym! We all are at different levels, so as long as you are trying to do what you can do, MORE POWER TO YOU.

Side note: my gym pet peeve is tiny girls who come to the gym and talk the whole time, always pick up the smallest weights for our interval circuits, and skip any exercise that is "too hard" without even trying. Somehow I imagine these two might fit in this category...

put your energy into your spinning class.


I'd personally start making waif blowing away jokes. Or making comments about their food- I'm shallow like that- if you attack my on that level- I'll attack you right back (I'm kind of in line with Fat Amy's mental process from Pitch Perfect).. I woudl totally say- OMG THOSE 100 calorie chips are going to make your vagina fall out of your shorts!!! it got fat!!!
or something- I have no shame- they have gone above and beyond- which means all jokes are fair enough to them. You may not feel that way- and a lot of others probably won't either- but what they are doing is unacceptable- I got to stage 10.

If it goes 1-1 then 2-2 people just keep matching. But they did 1- and you probably tried 1- and they just keep pushing. Go to def con 10 stage 12- over the top. Usually puts people in their place immediately.


I't probably go with a Churchill type comment as well "I may be fat today - but I won't be fat forever: you unfortunately will be shallow vapid and ugly inside probably for the rest of your life"

"making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital"

"You should quit trying to do Spinning, because no one healthy wants to look at this."

no one said healthy had to be skinny. healthy is about your whole body- not what something looks like.
Also- how am I supposed to get healthy if I quit?
"perhaps you should quit talking- because no one nice wants to hear your voice"

Start weight lifting and then ask them how much they can dead lift

I cant' stand people like that- I would have shut that down immediately- i have no patience for such things- but zingers are kind of my thing so I tend to go their first.

Good luck to you!!! Message me if you need more moral support!!!

This all the way. More likely than not, these brats aren't used to people standing up to them. Their goal is to hurt you, defeat you and demoralize you, because it makes them feel superior. I'm like JoRocka, I fight back... personally, on top of the waif jokes and whatnot, I'd figure out what their insecurities or inadequacies are, and exploit them. But I'm mean when attacked. Maybe you're a better person. But if not, go for broke and be a bigger meanie- like all bullies, the only thing they respect is someone badder than them.

Good luck!