Dealing with Haters

Just don't worry about haters...

Relevant:



As drawn by my friend Omar

Elevate and rise above. Success is the best revenge. Unless you're comfortable assaulting them, which could get you in serious trouble, I'd concentrate on my journey and let them choke alive on your success.

People like this are sick inside and need to lash out at others to make themselves feel better. Don't give these chicks the satisfaction of even acknowledging their presence. They have the problem, not you.

If you allow these vapid airheads to knock you off course the fault will lie with you, and they will have won.

I'm 53 and this is my opinion.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And if you realized how little people think, you wouldn't be concerned.

I also believe that what other people think of you in none of your business.

For example: Today I noticed a man at the train station with no coat. I socially asked if he had heard the weather report (it's going from 70 to 20 with 50 mph winds) something that I probably mention weekly on my commute. He told me that I was a complete stranger and to mind my own business. I tried to explain that I was concerned ... but he would have none of it I'd never met the guy before or did anything to him and was only concerned for his comfort and safety. The man obviously had issues other than me.

I would ignore them. If you don't reward them with hurts, cries, indignation, etc. I believe that they will stop teasing. Use the negative emotion to do a THIRTY minute spin next time.

Make friends in spin class. Explain the situation to your best looking male spin class friend to come to class with you and lick your neck in front of them.

Thanks everybody. Seriously . I guess I just reached the end of my emotional rope today. I get so tired of the "OH MY GOD I'M A SIZE TWO I"M SO FAT...." "Well, at least you don't look like B." or the "You don't need to make a mouthguard for the gym! Make a mouthguard for someone else for your grade, because your more likely to break your teeth on a tootsie roll pop." and the "Oh, B knows ALL about calories...how to put them away!" But the chubby chaser dating sites and morbidly obese pictures and the "If we push you down the stairs will you bounce" is just hard to deal with day in and day out.

I would love to punch them in the face, but physical violence would get me expelled, I'm sure. They made me break down and cry last term which is why the teacher ripped into them then, so I keep debating reporting because it seemed like it made it worse last time.

You're clearly going through a rough patch. However, I have to point out, since you mentioned it twice: their physical appearance should have no more bearing on how you view them than yours should on them. Don't fall into the trap of basing their negativity on their appearance. Especially because anyone can be insecure at any weight, and going up in a size can be emotionally and physically uncomfortable for anyone; if it bothers you, that's coming from a place within you. They're not "wrong" for having their own issues. Thinking negative and vengeful thoughts about others is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get poisoned.

What's wrong is if their issues are being projected instead of internalized and dealt with, which appears to be happening here with their harassment.

So, clearly if they're violating policies in place, report them. If you did it before, continue to do it; having records can get others accountable for a "hostile environment." Otherwise, "dealing with haters" comes from a place within. As others have said, keep being you. Don't judge them for being "skinny" and "feeling bad about gaining weight." That's not your place. Instead, ignore them and do what you like to do even harder.

Also, can I ask: what do you mean "expelled"? Having the same students in class with you last term? IS this college? Are you 26?

Solid advice from a mature adult. I'm pretty sure this is better than punching people.

Thanks everybody. Seriously . I guess I just reached the end of my emotional rope today. I get so tired of the "OH MY GOD I'M A SIZE TWO I"M SO FAT...." "Well, at least you don't look like B." or the "You don't need to make a mouthguard for the gym! Make a mouthguard for someone else for your grade, because your more likely to break your teeth on a tootsie roll pop." and the "Oh, B knows ALL about calories...how to put them away!" But the chubby chaser dating sites and morbidly obese pictures and the "If we push you down the stairs will you bounce" is just hard to deal with day in and day out.

I would love to punch them in the face, but physical violence would get me expelled, I'm sure. They made me break down and cry last term which is why the teacher ripped into them then, so I keep debating reporting because it seemed like it made it worse last time.

I definitely think you should report them to the school again and this time tell them that if they aren't able to handle the issue, you'll be contacting the police to report harrasment.

SAVE THAT BULLYING EMAIL. You will need to show it to someone in authority to prove the bullying.

In the meantime, here are some comebacks.
"Is someone trying to talk to me? You're just so scrawny I can't see you."
"I don't pay attention to skeletons."
"Preparing for your Skeletor audition, I see."
"You mean you can speak? I thought you'd be too weak, given how skinny you are."
"Kwashiorkor?"
"Doesn't your mother feed you?"
"I bet you're flunking this class. How can you even think when you're starving?"

"do you have a stealth mode when you turn side ways" or is that just an optical illusion.

LMAO! love it. OP, or you could throw one of them a snickers bar and say something like, 'you know, you're a real b*tch when you're hungry"

SAVE THAT BULLYING EMAIL. You will need to show it to someone in authority to prove the bullying.

In the meantime, here are some comebacks.
"Is someone trying to talk to me? You're just so scrawny I can't see you."
"I don't pay attention to skeletons."
"Preparing for your Skeletor audition, I see."
"You mean you can speak? I thought you'd be too weak, given how skinny you are."
"Kwashiorkor?"
"Doesn't your mother feed you?"
"I bet you're flunking this class. How can you even think when you're starving?"

oh please don't stoop to their level, be a bigger person OP. I can understand bullying based on size, I got teased a lot, albeit to a lesser degree of severity, for being thin and looking "skeletal" so I can sympathize. That being said, don't degrade yourself by throwing silly appearance-based insults back at them. I don't know how that helps you. Talk to the appropriate authority figure, whether that be a teacher or dean, and let the rest roll off your shoulders. Approach it as a challenge to overcome, and if you keep your dignity and let it fuel your motivation to get fit then I guarantee you'll be all the more proud of yourself at the end :flowerforyou: Best of luck!

make sure you document all interactions.

go see a counselor as well.

save the email!!! print it out! and share it with a counselor.

I'll do that, maybe it will help, because I seriously am at the point where I am dreading school and I really just want to skip so I don't have to deal with them, and it's affecting my grade. My 4.0 has gone down to a 3.8 since the bullying got bad, and I hate it, but I just feel stuck.

Please do. Do not let them win. Save every proof, and if you have good friends, ask them to go and vouche for you. They cannot do that. I work in the HR department, and work with the VPs. This kind of behavior is not tolerated. At least, not at my school. I'm sorry but you need to report them, and if they don't take action, it is called harassment so you could even possible branch out to 'officials'.

Don't let those pathetic little twits get you down though. I am 100+ over weight, and while I am blessed enough not to look it I am still treated on occasions like a walking disease. It sucks, but that's life. Do not let people keep you from changing your life. I imagine there is a bit if jealousy and FEAR in them. This is why they are so evil, and disgusting. They're afraid that if you do lose weight you'll steal a hotty and win in the game of Life.

Your story makes me so sad. I was bullied all through high school. Not about weight, because I was better at a musical instrument than two other girls. You know what I did, I continued to practice day after day and I got chosen to play a solo at our high school graduation, it made them both cry as they tried out to play a duet. I always got higher scores than they did and played more solos, etc. That's how I showed them.

So I would keep going to spinning class, every time you make it longer tell your friend "hey guess what I made it xx minutes today! I did so much better than the first time!" And keep losing weight and working out, before you know it you will start seeing results and start looking fabulous, next semester or quarter you can walk past those witches with your head held high and say "hey, keep up your stupid *kitten* comments because they give me the energy to keep going". And "oh, are you in a size 7 now, you look like you've gained some weight?" as nicely as you can.

I also agree with recording all of the interactions that occur with these women (yes I'm controlling myself) and keep it as evidence.

And I can't believe a freaking 35 yr old eggs them on, seriously?!?! She should receive my boot in her *kitten* or better yet a swift kick from my horse.

And if there is EVER an opportunity where you're alone with one of them.. any time you could get a little payback with no chance of being caught...unleash holy hell on them.

^THIS!!!!

There is probably SOMETHING that is making these girls feel so insecure they have to lash out at someone... Maybe it is they are such terrible people, the only "friends" they have are other terrible people. But I do agree with what others are saying, no matter what they do, they will never be able to change who they are on the inside, whereas you have the ability to take what they are saying as motivation to literally work your tail off! I know emotional eating is really tough to not do, but just look at this way, in this situation, if you do, you are giving them what they want... They want to get a rise out of you and make you feel like you are not as good as them! I think it is crazy that there are even people who would think that doing what they are doing is acceptable! Good Luck to you and know you have lots of support here!!

Bullying at any level of education is almost a guarantee of dismissal. I would collect all your evidence and bring it to the administration.

You can ignore it, take it out in spinning class, beat them up, cuss at them, or binge eat all you want but this is a legal matter. They have no remorse for your feelings, you should have no remorse getting them kicked out of school.

And frankly, no professional organization is going to hire a bully.

And sorry, but anyone saying "tell the school" probably hasn't actually been bullied.

Please don't 'assume' that. You don't speak for me, or others here. I've been bullied on and off all my life, and in school. I was physically attacked, and bullied and when I spoke up it stopped.

Honestly OP.... we're trying to give you the best advice we can... its up to you to decide on what to do. Personally, and I guess I'm an evil person, but if the girl was calling the Dean, "DADDY"... I'd have his job.

I am sorry this is happening.

I agree with the others who said this should be reported. Save the emails, texts, etc from them and report them. You have proof. If you don't get the results you want from the school administration, here is your recourse:

1) Tell the administration you want to leave because of them and you just might do that.

2) Go public. Contact your town newspaper and give them this story. Give them the screen shots, texts, etc and give them documentation of dates/times you met with school officials and that they did nothing to stop it. If your school has a Facebook page, post the information there. Create a blog. Go to the web site called Topix (can't remember if it's .com or .net) and find the Topix page for your town/geographical area. Post a message about the bullying problem at your school. Give all the background information and mention the school is doing nothing to stop it. See if your town or area has a Patch web site. If so, contact them and give them all the information as well.

I would want this school to go out of business if they allow things like this to happen.

I was bullied myself sporatically and in the 10th grade I put a stop to it for good, but in a way that you can't duplicate yourself.

In college, I did have an issue in one of my classes with 2 women I had to work on a project with. I don't even know what their problem was, but in class a few times after that they would point at me and laugh and said something about me in a group with others. I did nothing wrong. Moreover, one was around my age (early 20s) and the other was a woman in her 40s, which was pathetic. I figured it reflected poorly on them and not me. The class ended soon afterwards.

Please consider taking my advice. Bullying occurs because it is allowed. That needs to end.

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