Dealing with Haters
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Tell them, "At least I can change my weight. You can't fix ugly though. Stop acting like irritating, insecure ___ and stfu. You guys are pathetic and should stop wasting my time with your bs." Feel free to add on, and be creative with the blanks. They deserve to be told off, and understand that they can't push you around like that. One day, they will end up pretty lonely. Girls like that are always the ones that feel miserable later on dealing with all sorts of drama. At least that's what I've witnessed. But really try and ignore that crap. I know it's hard but you're better than they will ever be.
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Too many pages to read and this may have been mentioned, but have you considered possibly kicking their *kitten*? lol just wondering.
Yea, I know violence blah blah, not the answer, blah. But I bet they would STFU.0 -
Too many pages to read and this may have been mentioned, but have you considered possibly kicking their *kitten*? lol just wondering.
Yea, I know violence blah blah, not the answer, blah. But I bet they would STFU.
but do it off campus so she doesn't get expelled.
I agree, they need a good *kitten* kicking.0 -
Tell them, "At least I can change my weight. You can't fix ugly though. Stop acting like irritating, insecure ___ and stfu. You guys are pathetic and should stop wasting my time with your bs." Feel free to add on, and be creative with the blanks. They deserve to be told off, and understand that they can't push you around like that. One day, they will end up pretty lonely. Girls like that are always the ones that feel miserable later on dealing with all sorts of drama. At least that's what I've witnessed. But really try and ignore that crap. I know it's hard but you're better than they will ever be.
And start the conversation with
"are you serious? This again? When are you going to grow up and go pick on someone your own size?"0 -
Wow I am speechless right now that this type of bullying is happening to you as a young adult. I actually had to click your name to see how old you were because I assumed that kind of childish behhavior would only come from middle school or high school kids.
I have no advice for you other only some support. I am so sorry that has happened to you. Please don't let them get inside your head, I know that is easier said than done.
Also karma...it happens and those mean girls will get theirs in the end. You might not get to see it but you can be assured that it will happen. You just cannot go around acting like a fool without that coming back to you.0 -
I'm sure you'll probably get through all pages of responses to get to mine! LOL BUT...thought I'd chime in.
Yes, document everything, and talk to a school counselor.
(But I'd also be very inclined to say, "Rather to be fat and pretty than skinny, ugly and rude - and besides, I can always lose weight." or "Boy I'd hate to be behind you guys in class with all that hot air you're giving off!!" (or all the smoke they're blowing, whatever) But they'd probably find a way to twist it around to be hateful again. Don't know if you've heard of the comedian Ron White talk about "You can't fix stupid." It's hysterical.)
I know it's hard to try not giving them the time of day or behaving as if their unbelievably horrible behavior isn't affecting you. Un-friend them, or block any messages from them. You don't need them tearing you down.It is a case that you can try to use to build your armor up. You know you're doing the right thing by doing spinning class. A friend of mine used to do that, and I completely commend her for it!! I'm not sure I've got that in me to do it.
I remember talking to my brother-in-law's brother - he had asked how I'd lost the weight so far. I told him what I'd been doing. He asked about if I'd done surgery. I told him I'd looked into it and was working with some people, but hadn't had it yet. His mother proceeded to preach about, "That's the problem with your whole family. You research things to death instead of just getting it fixed." Normally, that would totally have unglued me. But that day, I just simply said, "Ok" and got up and walked away. I told myself, "She has no idea what she's talking about....she's not my doctor, not my dietician, not my therapist. She has the right to her opinion, and I have the right to totally ignore it."
There are a variety of reasons why people bully others. A large part of it is deflection. If they're creating a situation of "Hey look over there..." then nobody's looking at them. That's why if you usually "call them out" - they'll usually back off.
Wish I had some great advice to give.....other than grace/smarts (people like you) usually outlast those who have none (like them).0 -
It's just chronic harassment that creates a hostile environment. Report it to someone and have them sanctioned.
If it is legal, record them doing it for evidence, and post it on YouTube.
I like this one.0 -
Too many pages to read and this may have been mentioned, but have you considered possibly kicking their *kitten*? lol just wondering.
Yea, I know violence blah blah, not the answer, blah. But I bet they would STFU.
lol I'm dyin' over here Jae -- but honestly, if she was under 18 I'd probably be thinking the same.0 -
I am digusted with these people... take it as incentive to achieve your weight loss goals.0
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It is hard to believe that these are grown women in their 20s particularly since most 2 year olds have a better grasp of what it means to be kind and decent.
Keep your chin up and rise above their antics while getting support from others (friends, college officials, etc). You are on this site as part of your quest to become happy and healthy - the best you. Stand up for yourself but don't take actions or say things that put you in the same league as them. Posting tasty stuff on facebook etc. may give you short-term satisfaction but in the long-term this type of behaviour can result in "losing yourself". You seem like an intelligent, thoughtful women who cares about others. Hopefully, these girls will some day develop these wonderful traits themselves.0 -
Too many pages to read and this may have been mentioned, but have you considered possibly kicking their *kitten*? lol just wondering.
Yea, I know violence blah blah, not the answer, blah. But I bet they would STFU.
lol I'm dyin' over here Jae -- but honestly, if she was under 18 I'd probably be thinking the same.
I know- as an adult, i don't fight. But I also don't have other adults bullying me. So if they want to act like high school girls, they can also get their *kitten* whooped like high school girls.0 -
as far as being over 18 and fear of the law...
when i worked in a department store some lowlife 16 year old started *kitten* with me. i let it go until he did it again and did so to try to impress the new kid who was also laughing. i was 19 and grabbed him and jacked him up. he said go ahead hit me the cops will love it.
my reply was:
oh i get it you think i wont beat you to a bloody pulp cause ill get arrested and go to jail? hmm lets think about it. i have never been in trouble with the law so to leave you in a pool of your own blood i will at worse get probation for 6 months. I can live with that.
threw him on the ground.
he immediately went running to a female coworker and asked her to walk him to his car because he though i was going to kill him.
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now since then i have grown up just a bit. i say just let it go and try to tune them out. the worse thing you can do to someone who is trying to get under your skin is to let them know it's working.
as others have said, buildup your evidence then present it to the dean or whomever since the dean seems to be caught up in trying to get a piece of *kitten*0 -
Ultimately, they keep doing it because it is a rewarding experience for them. Probably because they are controlling the encounter. Take that (either the control or the pleasantness) from them, in whatever way you prefer, and they won't want to do it anymore.0
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Also this, and it might only take holding up your phone with the camera pointed at them (because they can't tell if you're actually taking video.)If it is legal, record them doing it for evidence, and post it on YouTube.
(But be sure to find out if it's legal in your state.)0 -
Too many pages to read and this may have been mentioned, but have you considered possibly kicking their *kitten*? lol just wondering.
Yea, I know violence blah blah, not the answer, blah. But I bet they would STFU.
lol I'm dyin' over here Jae -- but honestly, if she was under 18 I'd probably be thinking the same.
I know- as an adult, i don't fight. But I also don't have other adults bullying me. So if they want to act like high school girls, they can also get their *kitten* whooped like high school girls.
True!! From the sound of it, it probably would not be the first time for these horrible women. Ugh!0 -
I'm sorry this is happening to you, it is wrong and unacceptable. Please do not let this go. You have more power in this situation than you realize.
1. Document everything. Start using your phone and laptop to record your classes and any interactions you may have with them. Record their name, date, time, location, comments, and the names of anyone else in class who was nearby. Save all emails, texts, and messages.
2. Go to someone at the school for help. The dean, a counselor, a trusted professor, whoever you can. Report it. Get the process moving. Follow-up with the teacher who spoke to them and get any paperwork about the reprimand. If the teacher didn't document it, get them to do it. This bullying and harassment absolutely needs to be in their student files. From what you've said, it seems you are studying for a job in the medical field that will involve patient interaction - make sure any potential employers know what type of people these women are by making sure it gets into their records. Call a damn meeting of the dean and every single one of your teachers if you have to; make them aware of the situation and the expectations that this behavior is to be documented, reported, and appropriate action is to be taken. Bullies thrive on people feeling helpless. There is no shame in standing up for yourself and using the resources available to you.
3. Do not engage them. Do not make smart *kitten* remarks, do not insult them, do not retaliate. I know it is tough to do that when you just want to punch their faces in, but you take away any chance they have of claiming that they were behaving this way because of something you did if you do not do anything that could be construed as provoking them.
4. Look for resources in your community outside of your school who have dealt with these situations before and can provide support, guidance, and legal insight to you through this process. You may even be able to find a lawyer willing to help you out and be present in any dealings with the school through one of these organizations.
And don't you dare give up spin class. I've seen fit people give up on spin classes or be so sore they can barely move the next day. You got this. :flowerforyou:0 -
It is hard to believe that these are grown women in their 20s particularly since most 2 year olds have a better grasp of what it means to be kind and decent.
Keep your chin up and rise above their antics while getting support from others (friends, college officials, etc). You are on this site as part of your quest to become happy and healthy - the best you. Stand up for yourself but don't take actions or say things that put you in the same league as them. Posting tasty stuff on facebook etc. may give you short-term satisfaction but in the long-term this type of behaviour can result in "losing yourself". You seem like an intelligent, thoughtful women who cares about others. Hopefully, these girls will some day develop these wonderful traits themselves.
This is wisdom speaking.0 -
Since they obviously have some bizarre weight issues themselves, I would try to find ways to call them fat. (Yes, it's petty and body-shaming and no, I wouldn't be proud of it. I'd still do it though.) Start saying things like "Are you sure you want to eat that?" or "Wow, do you know how many calories are in that?" Bonus points if you can get other people to say it instead of you.0
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There are always going to be horrible people in the world. Your best response is a slow, blank, bored look in their direction, then a slow head turn back to whatever you were doing.
Laugh in derision when you get a picture or they send you a message. Don't reply. Look upon them as if you were an adult facing someone else's kids. Turn your nose up.
And keep going. You can change your body, your health, and your mindset. It's harder to change a rotten personality.0 -
They are making a lame attempt at trolling you. Trolls come in all ages and types, and aren't limited to the Internet. Nothing pleases a troll more than getting a response of any kind out of the intended victim. I would definitely report them again, though. Present the evidence that the morons gave you. It saddens me when a school won't take bullying seriously.
Ignore them and focus on yourself. Eventually they will get bored and move on to someone or something else. They certainly won't be coming out from under the troll-bridge anytime soon.0 -
Tony Horton always says "Do Your Best, Forget the Rest"
In due time, those girls will be long gone from your life and judging by their personality they probably won't make it very far.
If you continue to commit yourself, and change yourself to the image you envision then you are already 100x better then they will be at life or any one else that insults or mocks you in the future. Besides, once you are happy with yourself nobody can ever hurt you again - cause you are satisfied
Keep going, you are on the right path
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Haters will always hate. Remember why you decided to start this journey. It wasnt for them it was for you! The are just a bump in the road and I know it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but you will be thankful for pressing on. Dont let a few negative people deter you from reaching your dream. Keep going!!!!! If it become unbareable you have the choice of going to your dean of student and reporting them for harassment0
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I'm going to play the "mom" card here My daughter is a college freshman, and I work at a university.
Go to the Dean of Students, or the equivalent at your university. Show them the texts/messages/etc that they have been sending you. Tell them about the fraudulent use of your email account. Our IT department doesn't take kindly to that sort of thing. On the whole, I think schools/colleges/universities are taking bullying much more seriously than they have in the past - and let's be honest, this is exactly what they are doing.
And following JoRocka's advice wouldn't hurt either.
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If your teacher didn't handle it then go to the head of the department after you send an email. They should be kicked out and if the school keeps allowing this abuse then serve them with a lawsuit. I bet the threat of one will change their tune.0
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don't give them the power of controlling you. simply don't let it bother you at all. You want to know why they are doing this to you? it's because their pathetic lives consist solely on lonely unfulfilled and meaningless fake cynical pathetic jealousy. They were never given enough attention as children and their father probably doesn't acknowledge their existence. Remind yourself that in order for them to feel good about themselves they have to break you down to their level so for just that moment they feel strong. Pathetic indeed. Honestly I have just made myself let go of all the stupid drama and mental stressors that are to this level (I am also in college) I will honestly laugh in peoples faces who try to pull crap like that with me and I will call them straight out on it. If it's not worth that then I will let it go- it's on their nonexistent conscious, why should you sit here and stew about it and feel bad? Believe that they will get exactly what is coming to them, which is why they found each other really isn't it- both hateful air headed bimbos feeding off each others hatred. after taking years of child psychology classes I can tell you that there is a reason why people do things when they are 'adults' and how they learned them from childhood- really helps me to feel sorry for the ignorant sob's....0
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Honestly... I'ma bought to come to your school and threaten to sue them for not protecting you on their grounds. can you do that haha? if they don't leave you alone you could really look into a restraining order or harassment charges. All of the minor offenses prove these ladies do not even want to be at school, get them expelled. especially the email thing, they used your school email and impersonated you- I strongly hope you seek justice for yourself- the escalation of their need for attention is insane, it's time to do something about it. Go do a kickboxing class and think of their dumb little faces while you punch the crapp outa stuff. *grumbles* ridiculous.
I'm nasty when it comes to revenge so I would print all of this thread out and put it all over their locker or their desk or drop it down the staircase when they were coming up. All of the posts that highlight their morals and horrible character....
"you know girls, at first your little bit here made me really depressed, which I know is what you were going for, but then I asked an online community and it turns out you guys are horrible people, so I guess karma will be hittin' ya back for me then- I actually feel sorry for you two." and turn and walk away laughing.0 -
People who are not strong bully others. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like this, but they are everywhere. You will eventually lose the weight you want to lose, but they will always be ugly on the inside. If I was there, I'd just beat their *kitten*. They are pathetic and you should not have to up up with people like that. Stand your ground and know for sure that they are the pitiful, weak ones. You keep on trying. You will succeed 0
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One more thing.....KARMA is a *****! They will get theirs. Hang in there my friend!!! 0
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I can't believe these are 'women' in their twenties! Wow. They are acting like 14 year olds (although that is an insult to most 14 year olds). I had to put up with some behaviour like that when I was at school but certainly never at college or uni.
Maybe it would help to look at them with the pity they deserve. I mean well adjusted women in their twenties should not be acting like that. They must have some sort of issue in their own lives. If you have proof then tell them you will be reporting it, the threat might be enough, but if not go and report it. As an adult you shouldn't have to put up with that.0 -
Have only read about half of the thread but definitely bullying. Your school should have a policy on this. Next time they say something to you, get out your cell phone where they see it and ask them to repeat what they just said as you have been recording all their comments, emails and other actions because you are being asked to document what they say to use in a case of disciplinary action by the school administration (or a legal harrassment case). Might scare them to stop.
You are a strong person to want to change your life to a healthier state. In the medical field, the more you improve your own health the better it enables you to understand and help your patients. Nothing speaks like experience. Those girls will just be judgemental of patients, not be able to relate to them with any warmth or compassion. an will probably never go anywhere with their lives. On the other hand, you will shine with your patients and they will all hope that you are the one who helps take care of them. Your employer will notice this and it will open doors to moving up the ladder beyond those selfish girls.
I often use the motivating thought to myself that "you will always be who you always are if you always do what you've always done". Reminds me to overcome my excuses and challenge the "humps" to cross over to the side of changing myself. Best of luck to you.0
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