Dealing with Haters
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Tony Horton always says "Do Your Best, Forget the Rest"
In due time, those girls will be long gone from your life and judging by their personality they probably won't make it very far.
If you continue to commit yourself, and change yourself to the image you envision then you are already 100x better then they will be at life or any one else that insults or mocks you in the future. Besides, once you are happy with yourself nobody can ever hurt you again - cause you are satisfied
Keep going, you are on the right path
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Haters will always hate. Remember why you decided to start this journey. It wasnt for them it was for you! The are just a bump in the road and I know it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but you will be thankful for pressing on. Dont let a few negative people deter you from reaching your dream. Keep going!!!!! If it become unbareable you have the choice of going to your dean of student and reporting them for harassment0
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I'm going to play the "mom" card here My daughter is a college freshman, and I work at a university.
Go to the Dean of Students, or the equivalent at your university. Show them the texts/messages/etc that they have been sending you. Tell them about the fraudulent use of your email account. Our IT department doesn't take kindly to that sort of thing. On the whole, I think schools/colleges/universities are taking bullying much more seriously than they have in the past - and let's be honest, this is exactly what they are doing.
And following JoRocka's advice wouldn't hurt either.
+1
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If your teacher didn't handle it then go to the head of the department after you send an email. They should be kicked out and if the school keeps allowing this abuse then serve them with a lawsuit. I bet the threat of one will change their tune.0
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don't give them the power of controlling you. simply don't let it bother you at all. You want to know why they are doing this to you? it's because their pathetic lives consist solely on lonely unfulfilled and meaningless fake cynical pathetic jealousy. They were never given enough attention as children and their father probably doesn't acknowledge their existence. Remind yourself that in order for them to feel good about themselves they have to break you down to their level so for just that moment they feel strong. Pathetic indeed. Honestly I have just made myself let go of all the stupid drama and mental stressors that are to this level (I am also in college) I will honestly laugh in peoples faces who try to pull crap like that with me and I will call them straight out on it. If it's not worth that then I will let it go- it's on their nonexistent conscious, why should you sit here and stew about it and feel bad? Believe that they will get exactly what is coming to them, which is why they found each other really isn't it- both hateful air headed bimbos feeding off each others hatred. after taking years of child psychology classes I can tell you that there is a reason why people do things when they are 'adults' and how they learned them from childhood- really helps me to feel sorry for the ignorant sob's....0
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Honestly... I'ma bought to come to your school and threaten to sue them for not protecting you on their grounds. can you do that haha? if they don't leave you alone you could really look into a restraining order or harassment charges. All of the minor offenses prove these ladies do not even want to be at school, get them expelled. especially the email thing, they used your school email and impersonated you- I strongly hope you seek justice for yourself- the escalation of their need for attention is insane, it's time to do something about it. Go do a kickboxing class and think of their dumb little faces while you punch the crapp outa stuff. *grumbles* ridiculous.
I'm nasty when it comes to revenge so I would print all of this thread out and put it all over their locker or their desk or drop it down the staircase when they were coming up. All of the posts that highlight their morals and horrible character....
"you know girls, at first your little bit here made me really depressed, which I know is what you were going for, but then I asked an online community and it turns out you guys are horrible people, so I guess karma will be hittin' ya back for me then- I actually feel sorry for you two." and turn and walk away laughing.0 -
People who are not strong bully others. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like this, but they are everywhere. You will eventually lose the weight you want to lose, but they will always be ugly on the inside. If I was there, I'd just beat their *kitten*. They are pathetic and you should not have to up up with people like that. Stand your ground and know for sure that they are the pitiful, weak ones. You keep on trying. You will succeed 0
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One more thing.....KARMA is a *****! They will get theirs. Hang in there my friend!!! 0
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I can't believe these are 'women' in their twenties! Wow. They are acting like 14 year olds (although that is an insult to most 14 year olds). I had to put up with some behaviour like that when I was at school but certainly never at college or uni.
Maybe it would help to look at them with the pity they deserve. I mean well adjusted women in their twenties should not be acting like that. They must have some sort of issue in their own lives. If you have proof then tell them you will be reporting it, the threat might be enough, but if not go and report it. As an adult you shouldn't have to put up with that.0 -
Have only read about half of the thread but definitely bullying. Your school should have a policy on this. Next time they say something to you, get out your cell phone where they see it and ask them to repeat what they just said as you have been recording all their comments, emails and other actions because you are being asked to document what they say to use in a case of disciplinary action by the school administration (or a legal harrassment case). Might scare them to stop.
You are a strong person to want to change your life to a healthier state. In the medical field, the more you improve your own health the better it enables you to understand and help your patients. Nothing speaks like experience. Those girls will just be judgemental of patients, not be able to relate to them with any warmth or compassion. an will probably never go anywhere with their lives. On the other hand, you will shine with your patients and they will all hope that you are the one who helps take care of them. Your employer will notice this and it will open doors to moving up the ladder beyond those selfish girls.
I often use the motivating thought to myself that "you will always be who you always are if you always do what you've always done". Reminds me to overcome my excuses and challenge the "humps" to cross over to the side of changing myself. Best of luck to you.0 -
I can't believe these are 'women' in their twenties! Wow. They are acting like 14 year olds (although that is an insult to most 14 year olds). I had to put up with some behaviour like that when I was at school but certainly never at college or uni.
Maybe it would help to look at them with the pity they deserve. I mean well adjusted women in their twenties should not be acting like that. They must have some sort of issue in their own lives. If you have proof then tell them you will be reporting it, the threat might be enough, but if not go and report it. As an adult you shouldn't have to put up with that.
These are sad different times.... Mommy and daddy are paying for their college, why would there be any reason to actually try.... ?
can you believe that they poster is paying (probably) hundreds to go to a class where she is basically harassed the entire time... the school should be jumping to fix this issue.0 -
You're clearly going through a rough patch. However, I have to point out, since you mentioned it twice: their physical appearance should have no more bearing on how you view them than yours should on them. Don't fall into the trap of basing their negativity on their appearance. Especially because anyone can be insecure at any weight, and going up in a size can be emotionally and physically uncomfortable for anyone; if it bothers you, that's coming from a place within you. They're not "wrong" for having their own issues. Thinking negative and vengeful thoughts about others is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get poisoned.
What's wrong is if their issues are being projected instead of internalized and dealt with, which appears to be happening here with their harassment.
So, clearly if they're violating policies in place, report them. If you did it before, continue to do it; having records can get others accountable for a "hostile environment." Otherwise, "dealing with haters" comes from a place within. As others have said, keep being you. Don't judge them for being "skinny" and "feeling bad about gaining weight." That's not your place. Instead, ignore them and do what you like to do even harder.
Also, can I ask: what do you mean "expelled"? Having the same students in class with you last term? IS this college? Are you 26?
QFT0 -
I go to school at night, and three of the girls in my class are really skinny, and they like to complain about gaining weight. (No, going from a size 2 to a size 3 is not "getting fat.") Apparently last night they overheard me talking with a friend whom I had told about my first pathetic attempt at a spin class (I lasted 15 minutes out of an hour) and how I was going to keep going every week until I could last an entire class.
Today they messaged me a picture of a very morbidly obese person trying to get on an exercise bike, and said "You should quit trying to do Spinning, because no one healthy wants to look at this."
Right now? I honestly want to binge or stab them with something sharp and pointy. They are always making comments about my weight, sometimes in class, like saying I should only date overweight people so I don't "crush" them, signing my school email up for a "chubby chasers" dating website and a thousand other little snide remarks.
I don't know how to deal with these people anymore. I try and ignore it, but I'll be honest, it hurts, and it's hard to ignore when they just won't stop. If I react they giggle and point, if I don't they just get nastier. I have five hours until I have to face these people again and right now, I really don't know how.
Ugh I hate betches! I would seriously be looking for ways to embarass them, like "accidentally" tripping them over on the stairs or something ha ha. But no, they are not worth your energy. Betches like this bully others because they feel inferior and have self esteem issues so just remind yourself that everything mean and nasty they say to you is only because they feel that exact way about themselves.
A woman in my office was bullied once by another woman and she had the best defence - she just pretended that she did not realise this other woman was being a nasty, sarcastic betch and responded as if she (the betch) was being nice. She soon gave up because she wasn't getting the response she craved.
So, maybe try responding nice and friendly to these "ladies" whenever they say anything to you even if it is the meanest nastiest comment ever. And seek out the nice people in your class to hang out with. Alternatively, if they keep commenting about your weight, or pointing and giggling call them out over it in class or when there are other people around by loudly saying something like "Really? Do you not have anything more interesting to talk about besides my weight?" or something that challenges them to respond and lets everyone know what they were doing. You need to be assertive and even at times agressive with people like this as they are cowards and will back down when challenged.
And I don't be scared that they will report you if you challenge their behaviour - this is the last thing they want because they know they in the wrong and can only get away with it by making you scared of retaliating. They also know that they would not be able to defend themselves should you all get called up to the dean or whoever is in charge as you have evidence of the bullying.0 -
It is hard to believe that these are grown women in their 20s particularly since most 2 year olds have a better grasp of what it means to be kind and decent.
Keep your chin up and rise above their antics while getting support from others (friends, college officials, etc). You are on this site as part of your quest to become happy and healthy - the best you. Stand up for yourself but don't take actions or say things that put you in the same league as them. Posting tasty stuff on facebook etc. may give you short-term satisfaction but in the long-term this type of behaviour can result in "losing yourself". You seem like an intelligent, thoughtful women who cares about others. Hopefully, these girls will some day develop these wonderful traits themselves.
Again, needed to bump this post up because this is true wisdom.0 -
ignore it ..
when you acknowledge it, it gives them power over you and is already affecting you as you are dreading going into class..
I guess you could pull the fight club method on them…next time they something look at them and in a very calm voice say something like "you know, obese people have been known to go kind of crazy on skinny girls like yourself. If you keep pushing me then this obese psychopath might just go crazy and come in here and start pumping round after round of bullets into every little skinny thing in here that has ever opened up there fat little mouth ….or, maybe you should just not really talk to me any more…." and laugh and go right back to acting normal ..
I guarantee they will shut the F up …0 -
Where do you live? I will come beat those b*tches up for you.
This makes me so angry. Keep your chin up, babe. So sorry this is happening.0 -
If you report this, you need to do it the right way. Don't just report it to the teacher, report it to the Daytime Dean, the Night Dean, the Teacher, the SGA, the President of the school (if there is one), the Counselor, and make sure that you state that you have reported it in the past, that the teacher admonished them but the night dean did nothing.
Make it clear that it is affecting your grade, causing "severe emotional distress." Make sure that the letter reads with just a smidge of legalese. Look up the code of conduct and quote it.
If you report it to numerous people, then the night dean can't simply sweep it under the rug. If you're going to be bullied, then use a heavy hand in dealing with them.
Calling them names does nothing but make you look bad. It only hurts any case you may have. Hitting them is even worse because then you've broken the law.
Then if nothing happens, contact a lawyer because you very well could have a cause of action.0 -
If you report this, you need to do it the right way. Don't just report it to the teacher, report it to the Daytime Dean, the Night Dean, the Teacher, the SGA, the President of the school (if there is one), the Counselor, and make sure that you state that you have reported it in the past, that the teacher admonished them but the night dean did nothing.
Make it clear that it is affecting your grade, causing "severe emotional distress." Make sure that the letter reads with just a smidge of legalese. Look up the code of conduct and quote it.
If you report it to numerous people, then the night dean can't simply sweep it under the rug. If you're going to be bullied, then use a heavy hand in dealing with them.
Calling them names does nothing but make you look bad. It only hurts any case you may have. Hitting them is even worse because then you've broken the law.
Then if nothing happens, contact a lawyer because you very well could have a cause of action.
^ This in particular.
I agree with most others; most schools and administration won't actively help you. However, most schools still have policies in place for this kind of thing, detailing chains of command to go through, student "courts," etc.
Again, get it on record. Save everything. I and classmates in school had to go down this path after reports of harassment and stalking from a few key students, despite being reported multiple times, was ignored. It got really messy, and in the end (because we were all pretty jarred), we didn't pursue legal action, but I wish we had. However, none of the professors (though one was tenured) have positions at that school job anymore.0 -
I go to school at night, and three of the girls in my class are really skinny, and they like to complain about gaining weight. (No, going from a size 2 to a size 3 is not "getting fat.") Apparently last night they overheard me talking with a friend whom I had told about my first pathetic attempt at a spin class (I lasted 15 minutes out of an hour) and how I was going to keep going every week until I could last an entire class.
Today they messaged me a picture of a very morbidly obese person trying to get on an exercise bike, and said "You should quit trying to do Spinning, because no one healthy wants to look at this."
Right now? I honestly want to binge or stab them with something sharp and pointy. They are always making comments about my weight, sometimes in class, like saying I should only date overweight people so I don't "crush" them, signing my school email up for a "chubby chasers" dating website and a thousand other little snide remarks.
I don't know how to deal with these people anymore. I try and ignore it, but I'll be honest, it hurts, and it's hard to ignore when they just won't stop. If I react they giggle and point, if I don't they just get nastier. I have five hours until I have to face these people again and right now, I really don't know how.
Things like that hurt to hear....
But ultimately u you have to ignore them and do what is right for you.....
Even at my size I get a lot of crap from people....and these people I actually know and are close to me.
So it never ends....some people are just jerks plain and simple0 -
SEND HER A FRIEND REQUEST!!!
It occurred to me that you might benefit from the encouragement of few more friends here. I have just sent you a friend request. Hang in there. I hope today is better.0
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