Help any tips to overcome stress eating?

This is a tough love response but... the fact that you sat down after working on your house and thought something like "I deserve this" means that this is a choice that you are electively choosing. It's not a compulsion, it's not even necessarily an emotional need... heck, that scenario, you don't even sound stressed out at the time.

When I think of stress eating, I think of eating when you are on deadline to keep yourself awake... Allowing yourself to have a bag of M&Ms while working on a huge project... Having a horrible day at work and pulling into the first DQ you see and eating the Blizzard before you get home, not out of shame but because the dopamine rush from the eating calms you down.

This sounds like a habit. Habits can be broken. You have kids, it's a given. It's time to acclimate. As long as you consider that stress worthy of eating things that will put you over your calories or whatever, you will struggle to succeed. There is zero reason to get up, leave the house, and get a milkshake. If you had time to do all that, which probably took at least 15 minutes if not more, you had enough time to do some exercise. Therefore, you have time enough to choose an option that will make you happier.

Choose to motivate yourself, and not allow yourself to leave the house for sweets once you're home for the night. I incorporated a reward system for myself at one point to help change the habit... for every day I didn't purchase junk, I would put money that would have been spent on junk into a jar to save for a special thing later.

For the record though, I love milkshakes.. and when I was working out 2-3 hours a day, they were a rather daily thing. I would get one during my recovery hour after water aerobics, as they have decent protein, calcium, calories to supply for the eating back exercise calories, etc. If you're going to fast food joints, look up the calories on the sizes... Some of them aren't so bad, as long as you're working for them. That being said, practically no one needs a large shake, unless they've had oral surgery or something, so scale it back. You CAN work them into your routine, you just have to be honest, and if you didn't do the work today, you don't get to have a milkshake. The work indicated by the "earned calories."

Good luck.

What do you do for exercise? I'm a daddy of two wonderful boys (4 y.o. and the other is 20 months) and they are awesome...but definitely a handful and demand a lot of daddy's attention. I also have a pretty stressful job (CFO) and an hour commute each way from work. I used to be on edge pretty much all of the time...I was a 2-3 PAD smoker, big time eater, and pretty heavy drinker to boot.

In this RE, exercise really changed my life. When I started exercising regularly, it just made the stress a lot easier to deal with and I found myself a lot less on edge and with more energy...to boot, my mind was more clear and I was accomplishing tasks more efficiently.

I started out pretty much using some of my lunch hour for walking...then I incorporated some running...then I joined a gym to start lifting weights a few days per week (twice in the evening during the work week...and thank God my wife is on board with me being healthier because she takes the kids those two nights...and then early morning on a Sat or Sun). Now I ride my bike a few days per week as I find it more relaxing than running and enjoy it more and still get in some good exercise and I lift 3x weekly. I also am responsible for getting a Wellness Program implemented at my office where everyone gets 1/2 hour per day to do exercise if they sign up for the program.

I've completely turned my life around this last year and a half...I've lost 40 Lbs and I'm as strong (if not stronger) than I was in my early 20s and definitely more fit in general. I take part in a couple of cycling endurance events during the year as well as race cyclocross in the fall. I haven't had a cigarette since Sept 20, 2012 and I've cut back considerably on my consumption of bourbon. I feel great and I look great...and most of that has been attributable to getting some good nutrition and making some time for regular exercise. I spend about 5-6 hours per week exercising.

Stress is different for everyone.

I have two teenagers, and I can say that when my children were small (they are now 15 and 18) it was the most stressful time of my life.

So I totally get where you are coming from. It is very difficult to deal with your own needs when you are expending so much energy dealing with the needs of others -- not only your children, but your job, too. I worked the whole time they were small and it was hard.

But the first step is that you've recognized the problem and want to change it. Now you just have to implement strategies to help you eat better and deal with stress when it happens.

Can you and your wife come up with a plan for each of you to have some "me time" every day? One of you take the kids for a certain amount of time so the other can, say, talk a walk to get some exercise and burn off some stress? Is that an option?

I found that getting some exercise, just a walk, was a lot of help when my kids were small. Does your wife have the option of doing this during the day maybe?

Also you can have a "treat" but it would be good if you decide on some "treats" that you can fit into your calorie needs for the day. Instead of a milsshake, maybe some healthy frozen yogurt (there are some lower cal ones out there that are portion controlled) or something else.

What kind of foods would help you feel like "I'm having a treat that I enjoy" without destroying your calorie goals for the day? You need to consider some options and then have them on hand for when you want something. there are lots of suggestoins on this site.

It takes some planning, but you can do it!!

Wow...great discusion here.

Again, thanks for your service to our country. Also, kudos -- from what you've said you sound like a great husband and great father.

I'm also a self-diagosed stress eater. I don't have kids, my commute from work and home is 30 minutes each way and I'm not in the middle of any remodeling projects right now. But I have a semi-stressful job and have outside personal/family commitments that make for days where I'm away from home at least 14 hours a day most weekdays. When a fire pops up either at home or work, I turn to food for that quick fix. The saltier/swetter/more decadent, the better. It doesn't help that I work somewhere with dozens of vending machines and multiple food venues, all within a five minute walk from my office.

It's so easy for you or anyone to say, "I need to make time to ______". But we also need to own up to the choices we make (which you've done in your postings) in the time we already have. Food-wise, in terms of snacks at home or work, what do you have more of: junk food or nuts/veggies? Do you only wait until you're hungry to put some food in your mouth? How about a lite mid-morning/mid-afternoon snack?

I'm still a stress eater and I still make poor choices every now and then. But given my issues with my weight over the last year or so, I find myself thinking of my waistline and my wallet before I turn to that much desired "quick fix".

Good luck!