Help any tips to overcome stress eating?

Stress is different for everyone.

I have two teenagers, and I can say that when my children were small (they are now 15 and 18) it was the most stressful time of my life.

So I totally get where you are coming from. It is very difficult to deal with your own needs when you are expending so much energy dealing with the needs of others -- not only your children, but your job, too. I worked the whole time they were small and it was hard.

But the first step is that you've recognized the problem and want to change it. Now you just have to implement strategies to help you eat better and deal with stress when it happens.

Can you and your wife come up with a plan for each of you to have some "me time" every day? One of you take the kids for a certain amount of time so the other can, say, talk a walk to get some exercise and burn off some stress? Is that an option?

I found that getting some exercise, just a walk, was a lot of help when my kids were small. Does your wife have the option of doing this during the day maybe?

Also you can have a "treat" but it would be good if you decide on some "treats" that you can fit into your calorie needs for the day. Instead of a milsshake, maybe some healthy frozen yogurt (there are some lower cal ones out there that are portion controlled) or something else.

What kind of foods would help you feel like "I'm having a treat that I enjoy" without destroying your calorie goals for the day? You need to consider some options and then have them on hand for when you want something. there are lots of suggestoins on this site.

It takes some planning, but you can do it!!

Wow...great discusion here.

Again, thanks for your service to our country. Also, kudos -- from what you've said you sound like a great husband and great father.

I'm also a self-diagosed stress eater. I don't have kids, my commute from work and home is 30 minutes each way and I'm not in the middle of any remodeling projects right now. But I have a semi-stressful job and have outside personal/family commitments that make for days where I'm away from home at least 14 hours a day most weekdays. When a fire pops up either at home or work, I turn to food for that quick fix. The saltier/swetter/more decadent, the better. It doesn't help that I work somewhere with dozens of vending machines and multiple food venues, all within a five minute walk from my office.

It's so easy for you or anyone to say, "I need to make time to ______". But we also need to own up to the choices we make (which you've done in your postings) in the time we already have. Food-wise, in terms of snacks at home or work, what do you have more of: junk food or nuts/veggies? Do you only wait until you're hungry to put some food in your mouth? How about a lite mid-morning/mid-afternoon snack?

I'm still a stress eater and I still make poor choices every now and then. But given my issues with my weight over the last year or so, I find myself thinking of my waistline and my wallet before I turn to that much desired "quick fix".

Good luck!

You need to stop using your kids as excuses.

You are their father. If you need 30 minutes to do your work out, you set boundaries that they are to entertain themselves and not bother you while you have your time.

If you get up early and the kids get up too, take them for a bike ride, to the park and play soccer or tag with them.

Treats do not have to be food. If you feel you 'deserve' a reward for a tough day, you could reward yourself and your wife with mutual massages, a little grown up play time, a hot bath.... so many options.

This is a tough love response but... the fact that you sat down after working on your house and thought something like "I deserve this" means that this is a choice that you are electively choosing. It's not a compulsion, it's not even necessarily an emotional need... heck, that scenario, you don't even sound stressed out at the time.

When I think of stress eating, I think of eating when you are on deadline to keep yourself awake... Allowing yourself to have a bag of M&Ms while working on a huge project... Having a horrible day at work and pulling into the first DQ you see and eating the Blizzard before you get home, not out of shame but because the dopamine rush from the eating calms you down.

This sounds like a habit. Habits can be broken. You have kids, it's a given. It's time to acclimate. As long as you consider that stress worthy of eating things that will put you over your calories or whatever, you will struggle to succeed. There is zero reason to get up, leave the house, and get a milkshake. If you had time to do all that, which probably took at least 15 minutes if not more, you had enough time to do some exercise. Therefore, you have time enough to choose an option that will make you happier.

Choose to motivate yourself, and not allow yourself to leave the house for sweets once you're home for the night. I incorporated a reward system for myself at one point to help change the habit... for every day I didn't purchase junk, I would put money that would have been spent on junk into a jar to save for a special thing later.

For the record though, I love milkshakes.. and when I was working out 2-3 hours a day, they were a rather daily thing. I would get one during my recovery hour after water aerobics, as they have decent protein, calcium, calories to supply for the eating back exercise calories, etc. If you're going to fast food joints, look up the calories on the sizes... Some of them aren't so bad, as long as you're working for them. That being said, practically no one needs a large shake, unless they've had oral surgery or something, so scale it back. You CAN work them into your routine, you just have to be honest, and if you didn't do the work today, you don't get to have a milkshake. The work indicated by the "earned calories."

Good luck.

Thanks for your response but to tell me that I am not stressed isn't right. You really have no idea what my life is like you are on the other side of a computer screen. Now that I am finally admitting to my self I am stressed and I have to much on my plate right now really who are you to tell me I'm not stressed. I have talked to my wife about this who has her masters in psychology and just because you make a conscious decision to do something does not mean it isn't compulsive. When people compulsively do something it doesn't mean they are on auto pilot all the time. It means they have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms and that is what I am trying to figure out how to fix. My wife suggested the self talking but sometimes I cant talk myself out of it.

Thanks for your input but I disagree. As far as acclimating to having kids you sound like someone who doesn't have kids. I knew everything about parenting before I had kids too. I know it is going to get easier as they grow and I love every moment with them but right now it is tough! I am just trying to figure out how to fix things I need to fix.

I never said you weren't stressed. I said in that moment, you didn't sound like you were having a stress crisis.

I have been diagnosed with compulsive eating disorder, and am very familiar with the urges to have certain foods even when I don't need them. It does come down to a decision though. It's something a person has to accept in order to move past using food as a coping mechanism. You choose to put food in your mouth if you're not on "auto-pilot" Frankly, if you were on auto-pilot, I would have suggested seeing a psychiatrist. The word compulsive means "against one's conscious urges" so in that sense, it is not compulsive if you are actively choosing and planning to leave your house to take care of it. My compulsive eating problems had to do with pantry raids and eating everything in the house, whether it was a treat or not. There is a big difference between compulsive eating and food addiction.

I can't help but notice that you were perfectly accepting of someone saying don't use your kids as an excuse. That's essentially what I'm saying. This isn't a stress that's going to go away, but one that will be there 24/7. If you allow the stress of having a family to be an excuse, it's not going to get better, because that stress isn't going to go away.

You've been happy to accept others saying you need to replace the habit of food with something else, and that's all I really said. Even in your responses, you've given recognition to many things that show that it may be more from a lack of motivation than a true compulsive problem.

If you're going to discredit someone's input because "they don't know you" and are on a computer, I don't see the point in asking for help here. I'm an honest and well-intentioned person, with personal experience and my own degree in psychology. I focused on ED and abnormal psychology, myself. Ultimately though, we have to move past making excuses, make active choices, and implement change. If you feel it's truly out of your control, it is time to see a professional that isn't related to you.