What's the point? Solitary Fat Woman.

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Replies

  • winenroses
    winenroses Posts: 1 Member
    Hey - yes, you are not alone. I'm neither fat or skinny. I usually read these posts with no intention of replying, but I saw yours and it sticks with me. I'm 53 and over the course of the year have gained weight and had my glucose numbers rise. Doctor said to drop at least 10. I haven't been in a gym in almost 20 years. Got a trainer and have been hitting it. The scale? Not moving. I'm serious. In 6 weeks or so. Not moving an ounce. Measurements are down and I feel better, but I am so far out of shape.

    I applaud you and I applaud ANYone who gets up and gets moving - no matter the reason. Go. Do it. I quit in my mid-thirties and I REGRET IT. I keep telling my trainer: tell your younger clients not to quit. I am in pathetic aerobic shape and am weak, but I'm not going to let this beat me. AND NEITHER WILL YOU. Look at how far you've already come. GO YOU.

    Don't get discouraged. Keep going and turn your backs on anyone who gives you crap. Do this for you - for your health - and for you feeling better. NO ONE has the right to lecture you. NO ONE.

    Only listen to those who will give you love and encouragement - because that is what we are placed on this Earth for: to love and encourage.

    "Super fat"???? Really? That's not who you are, sister - you are a soul that is in a body. When my kid was about 4 he asked why some people had different colored skin. I told him, "You know how mommy has a red coat? Daddy has a brown coat? And you have a blue coat? That's what skin is: a coat for our soul. We're all the same inside and when we die, we just take off our earthly coat." Don't beat yourself up because your coat needs a little repair - MINE DOES, TOO. And, so does everyone else who is on this site.

    HANG TOUGH.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member

    Let me be clear, it's hard. It will always be at least a little hard. In 100 lbs, you will still have days you struggle. However, it's worth it. It's worth the struggle. 430 lbs is a size that can kill you. Would you rather die young or struggle for a few years to lose some weight and establish healthy habits?

    I'm not trying to be mean. I sympathize with the feeling that this might take forever, but maybe it's time to stop thinking about how long it will take and start thinking about the benefits that you're getting out of it right now. How does your body feel compared to when you started? How much harder can you push yourself with exercise? If it's even a little bit better, that's progress. You. Are. Making. Progress. You're going to have to come to accept that however long this takes you, as long as you're trying, you're progressing.

    See, I keep coming back to check in and responses like this just... ugh, I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I'm really not. But as I've repeated, I didn't say I was giving up losing weight. This type of response is kind of like saying, I didn't read what you were really saying, Q.

    My weight is high. However, it isn't effectively killing me. Asking how my body feels with the progress I've made is a double-edged sword because I have been more sick and in pain in the last two years than I have in my whole life. I don't mean DOMS and the flu... I mean losing the weight has caused hormonal changes, that in turn have created catastrophic problems. At this point, losing weight "slow and steady" could be worse for me than anything else. I know what you're saying though.

    The way it's been, I fully expect to lose the rest of my uterus to this. Sometimes I really regret ever starting. I was much happier overall. I could handle being fat then.

    I just wanted to try and connect with someone that's dealing with something at least somewhat close, that's all. Facing a longer battle. Maybe even someone that has gotten sick because of it like me.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    You should make friends now when you're fat because you'll never know if the ones you make when you are skinny would have liked you when you were fat and that's not a friend.

    sillyvalentin - Your ticker is AWESOME!
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    Well, okay, so I do understand that super fat means different things for different people but let's say...

    I'm 6'1" and struggling to break a 430lbs plateau that I have beat before. I do understand that everyone has their issues and challenges, sometimes I feel like people who haven't been quite this big don't really have the ability to understand.

    I do try to brush off people who immediately go into lectures, but even if you can walk away, sometimes it still bugs you. I had to privatize my diary because curious people would look at it, and without my asking for feedback, would send me PMs about how high my dailies are... for example.

    For me, I have every intention of not being this by the end of this year but it's really hard because even if I lose 100 pounds this year, I'll be over 300. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. It's just an exhausting concept sometimes.

    But I never said I was giving up on that effort. I don't do this for anyone else but me....

    Aaaaand I just broke my desk bike. Wonderful. ha Stupid tears.

    When I first started I had 100lbs to lose. The thought devastated me. I broke it down in to 25lb increments. It was the only way that I could stay motivated. Then I started looking around...there were people that had 200-300-400lbs to lose. I knew that if they could face that task then I could handle my own 100lb loss.

    I chose to do this journey without the support and encouragement of others. I needed to learn to care enough about myself to do this. I needed to trust myself...to find my own motivation...my own encouragement. I had to learn that I am worth it and not rely on others to help. This journey is about so much more than just losing weight or getting fit...it is about living our lives and facing our fears...tearing down walls....brick by brick.

    This is your journey...it is not about what others think...what comments they make...it is all about you.
  • Laura732
    Laura732 Posts: 244 Member
    Well, I don't know what I can say that anybody else hasn't already said. Trying to get healthy, and live healthy is a journey. Its a change. It sounds like things don't look so hot for you right now. Hang in there. Each day is the opportunity to do something better than you did yesterday. Its these small, incremental changes that eventually change you.

    It ain't easy. Over 260 lbs my knees and hips hurt when I started C25K. Down to 225 lbs, now my back is starting to bother me. I just decided that as long as I could go forward, that's what I was going to do. Only you can decide what hurts too much to continue. Do listen to your body though. I've made that mistake too.

    I hear ya. I've been in your shoes. Not done yet, but better than where I was.
  • Roaringgael
    Roaringgael Posts: 339 Member
    I understand how you feel.
    Everyone sees things from their own perspective.
    I see a combination of things happen in these threads.
    A lot of people genuinely want to help the person asking a question.
    We all have different ways of expressing ourselves, language is a complex thing. Sometimes people become defensive and react like they are under attack when they aren't really.
    Often people genuinely want to impart important nutritional advice because the person is contemplating something they know probably isn't going to work and the other isn't willing to listen to experiences of people who just might have a clue.
    Anyway, its going to keep happening.
    I'd like a dollar for every person who gets on here and says"I can't eat the 1200 cals what can I do?" Like - if your over weight you've been doing it for years, duh.
    Anyway I wish everyone well - don't give up!
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I was super fat at my highest. Not 400+, but trust me, 320 was "super fat" enough.

    This is going to sound really harsh, but I don't deal with a lot of "super fat" people in real life. Most of my friends are thin, I don't build friendships around eating, and I don't gravitate often toward intimate relationships with people who have "fat" as part of their identity. My wife struggles with her weight (though she's not super fat), my favorite cousin is about 400 lbs, and my sister, who is one of my best friends, just had gastric sleeve. So while I have fat and super fat loved ones in my life, I don't have a lot overall. Why? Because I REFUSED to define myself by my fat. Being fat was detrimental to my self image and self esteem, so the last thing I would be attracted to is people who are either defined by their obesity, or defined by an endless list of excuses for why they are obese. I was never blessed with that particular kind of self delusion. I neither made excuses for my size nor excuses for staying at my size. Past childhood, it was all my fault. I find that so many fat, obese, and morbidly obese people are chalk full of an endless array of justifications and excuses, and when you're trying hard to beat back your own fat body you don't need to be surrounded by that. So finding a lot of "super fat" people who are done with the excuses, and ready to bust their *kitten* to get out of that boat, in and of itself is very limiting; afterall, most wouldn't be in that boat at all if they naturally had those traits.

    On the flip side I didn't discuss my weight issues with the thinner, fitter, leaner people in my life. I wasn't interested in acknowledging my struggles with people who couldn't truly understanding, asking for help I did not need from them, or casting myself as the fat, whiny guy.

    When it comes to other people, I learned to largely go alone on this road a long time ago. It's God and me. Even when it comes to talking to my wife and sister about weight issues, it's not about getting help or support for myself, but more supporting them. That way my successes speaks for themselves, and the failures are my business, and my responsibility, alone.

    It just seems that this is often destined to be a lonely road. Even when you start out with like minded, like bodied people, it is just so very common for them to fall by the wayside as the journey goes on. We make a huge deal about weight loss because, at the end of the day, RARE is the person who makes it to the finish line, and even rarer still runs the long term race of maintenance. I think support is great if you can find it in other people, but it's best you find an inner fire and resolve to carry you through the long, lonely stretches.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member

    Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously?

    Aren't you being hypocritical? Maybe people feel like you do. Alone and unmotivated.

    I've been the fat friend and I've been the skinny friend. Both sides are lonely on the weightloss road. Sometimes you just need to do it for you and to stick it to the other people that A) Don't help you or B) Don't take you serious.

    If you want to add me, I'm always on this damn thing.

    Well, I guess if you want to take my reaching out as feeling sorry for myself, that's okay.

    I was intending more to reference the very obese people who, rather than suck it up and do something already, just lament on being fat, and let it be an excuse. I won't claim perfection by any means... But it's very disheartening to be active on here and working and trying and friending people to mutually motivate and most of the time, I end up with friend bloat and wondering what happened to that initial driving force.

    I'm not unmotivated. I'm anything but. I am just tempted to give up on MFP. My lamenting of being alone is about feeling like the only 400+lbs person busting my booty.

    Ultimately I was just trying to reach out because I felt particularly depressed. Have had some really hard thoughts going through my head today that I don't think smaller people will understand... So I was hoping maybe someone would pop up and be like *beast arms*

    When I started here, I had mostly very obese people on my FL, thinking that they'd better be able to know what I'm going through. That didn't work out so well. Mostly because our personalities and goals didn't always mesh. Then I started adding people based on attitude, and that went much much better. Can they always get exactly what I'm going through, mentally and physically? Hell no, nobody REALLY can. But, I can't always totally get what Amber is going through, she has medical conditions up the wazoo. That doesn't mean that I can't get that it's hard, and that I treasure her as a friend. There are many others on my list with other struggles. From brain hemorages to debilitating back issues. Sometimes it's just HARD. Mentally, physically, all of it. Please don't limit yourself to people who have gone through exactly the same thing. Good solid friends can help each other, even if they haven't had the same struggles.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Don't forget that a lot of the thin people here who talk like they know it all used to be super fat people who got lean and are just sharing their experiences about what works and what doesn't work, and really do know a lot and just want to share what they've learned over the years.

    Don't assume that what you see in their avatar pic is what they've always been like. Some people here have successfully lost a huge amount of weight.......... even many who've not lost such impressive amounts have still succeeded and have a lot of useful information to share.

    Yes, I know... What I was saying is that people take my stats or my goal and go, there's no way she knows anything about anything and they lecture me about my goals and my calories and everything without prompt. I can accept that anyone on here can bring good info to the table... I just wish more people did too.

    did you ever consider it may be because they have had success and they are trying to pass along knowledge to you?

    Why would you not want to take advice from people that are now fit????

    confuzzled...
  • ihad
    ihad Posts: 7,463 Member
    What's the point?

    I usually get involved with comments when people seem to really want help... but in the end, they write-off what they don't like reading. It can be legitimately helpful and informed, but it doesn't matter. There's always a reason why it doesn't apply when you don't like it... That's the nature of life I suppose, but if you're not open to opinions, you shouldn't ask the public.

    My heart is heavy, I guess. I'm struggling to see the point in being social while working the fat off. I can't seem to find anyone else of my comparable efforts and plan that has any interest in doing anything other than commiserating and being validated in their excuses for not doing what they admit they know they should be doing.

    Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously? Who have moved past letting their heavy body be an excuse for why they don't exercise? Who will help me feel like I'm not so alone in fighting an almost impossible beast?

    Where are the thinner people who are genuinely interested in partnering and motivating, who don't assume that because you're super fat, they automatically know more than you? Those that will have a legitimate conversation about health topics, instead of going into lecture mode on the assumption that you brought up the topic because you're obese and don't know anything about it?

    Do these people even exist? Or am I just doomed to feel alone?
    Yeah, I know, there are a lot of people on my list and they like my goofy updates and my photos, but rarely engage me in discussion of anything of merit...

    I guess I'm sad about it all, and about to give up on MFP. Could use some motivation to keep it going.

    I had to deal with disc issues too while losing weight - it's much improved now, but I still have challenges. I never let my weight or the injuries be an excuse - I kept on fighting. And it paid off. Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/my-thanks-to-the-man-of-steel-407835

    I find a lot of value in the social experience here. There are people at all levels of fitness willing to engage in good discussion, share inspiring and thoughtful moments, talk about their real struggles and challenges, and have fun along the way. You just have to keep an eye out, but we're here, I promise. There's lots of different ways to engage people, and seeking them out can half the fun. I like blogging, and I meet a lot of interesting people that way. For all the chaos on the forums, I do see a lot of knowledgeable, personable people who pop up too.

    Don't lose hope. You're not alone.
  • pettychia
    pettychia Posts: 109 Member


    Yes, I know... What I was saying is that people take my stats or my goal and go, there's no way she knows anything about anything and they lecture me about my goals and my calories and everything without prompt. I can accept that anyone on here can bring good info to the table... I just wish more people did too.
    Oh baby, no! You've lost 57 pounds -- you are killing it. If anything you have things to teach the other folks out there ;)
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member


    I had to deal with disc issues too while losing weight - it's much improved now, but I still have challenges. I never let my weight or the injuries be an excuse - I kept on fighting. And it paid off. Here's my story: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/my-thanks-to-the-man-of-steel-407835

    How is it that all this time I've been missing your blog? The few entries I just read.... gold.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Well, I have never been really overweight, in fact my issues have mostly been with finding a balance, having had eating disorders on and off for 25 years, but I do have to work against the fact I have COPD (only 68% lung function) and I have a great interest in all things fitness and nutrition and like talking about them.

    I also workout like a beast and love my food.
    So feel free to add me, if you would like.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    If I try to find someone "just like me", I will probably have slim pickings. But if I look for people who have something I want, or have been where I am or are where I wanna be, the field is wide open.

    Great attitude! :flowerforyou:
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member

    Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously?

    Aren't you being hypocritical? Maybe people feel like you do. Alone and unmotivated.

    I've been the fat friend and I've been the skinny friend. Both sides are lonely on the weightloss road. Sometimes you just need to do it for you and to stick it to the other people that A) Don't help you or B) Don't take you serious.

    If you want to add me, I'm always on this damn thing.

    Well, I guess if you want to take my reaching out as feeling sorry for myself, that's okay.

    I was intending more to reference the very obese people who, rather than suck it up and do something already, just lament on being fat, and let it be an excuse. I won't claim perfection by any means... But it's very disheartening to be active on here and working and trying and friending people to mutually motivate and most of the time, I end up with friend bloat and wondering what happened to that initial driving force.

    I'm not unmotivated. I'm anything but. I am just tempted to give up on MFP. My lamenting of being alone is about feeling like the only 400+lbs person busting my booty.

    Ultimately I was just trying to reach out because I felt particularly depressed. Have had some really hard thoughts going through my head today that I don't think smaller people will understand... So I was hoping maybe someone would pop up and be like *beast arms*

    When I started here, I had mostly very obese people on my FL, thinking that they'd better be able to know what I'm going through. That didn't work out so well. Mostly because our personalities and goals didn't always mesh. Then I started adding people based on attitude, and that went much much better. Can they always get exactly what I'm going through, mentally and physically? Hell no, nobody REALLY can. But, I can't always totally get what Amber is going through, she has medical conditions up the wazoo. That doesn't mean that I can't get that it's hard, and that I treasure her as a friend. There are many others on my list with other struggles. From brain hemorages to debilitating back issues. Sometimes it's just HARD. Mentally, physically, all of it. Please don't limit yourself to people who have gone through exactly the same thing. Good solid friends can help each other, even if they haven't had the same struggles.

    ^^^This is a great post.

    OP, I can imagine how frustrating it must be. I didn't start from having over 100 to lose, but with an ED history, juggling severe PPD and having two kids in diapers (therefore sleeping maybe 4 hours/night if I was lucky) was challenging and made it seem impossible at times. And now that I'm almost at goal, I seem to be struggling more than ever. But I keep fighting the good fight, because it's better than the alternative. Hang in there, and best of luck. :flowerforyou:
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Hi there.

    Your story is your own and has value because of it. Not because it somehow melds into the echo of others.
    Solitary. Or Not. Fat or thin I'm sure that you have had and will have small moments of grace and beauty and enjoyment all along as move forward, a bit of laughter or moments or doubt.

    The friendships, conversation or advice we weave here are necessarily for a point. There might be no point individually but still, the sum of the individual parts, the stream and rumble and cascade of information, pushes and pulls helps build up and bring forward the person one wants to be.

    And there might not be someone that has the exact same pain or issue as you (but I bet there might be) and still we have our own troubles and can understand and feel those of others. Someone that I appreciate a lot just had an operation in the last 24 hrs for "womanly troubles" and a few of my friends here have gone through hysterectomies, cancers or other losses. People do have a common experience and are truly great and supportive.

    I went through somethings incredibly difficult in the almost two years I have been here and the warmth and support I received have truly been helpful. A web has been woven and, frankly from the support I've received, it's spread out from the screen into the lives of people around me. I'm honestly impressed by the people here.

    Take care, hope your path is richer! :flowerforyou:
  • mthr2
    mthr2 Posts: 158 Member
    I'm sorry that you are in pain, both physically and emotionally. I creeped your profile and think your journey seems amazing and difficult, past, present & future. I wish you every bit of just-hang-in-there-ness that you can muster on days like today. I wish you many more days of easy happiness. That said, I dig your hair and would like to learn from you.....but holy crap you have a lot of friends. Maybe you should dump 75% of them. Not sure why, but it just seems like a lot to keep up with.... Maybe even adds to the overwhelmingness of your endeavors. (Just making up words now.)
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

    This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

    I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

    Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

    Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.
  • dlbredesen
    dlbredesen Posts: 122 Member
    Very well said. You just have to keep on keeping on. Tomorrow you will be a bit healthier than today. Progress is progress no matter how small.

    Let me be clear, it's hard. It will always be at least a little hard. In 100 lbs, you will still have days you struggle. However, it's worth it. It's worth the struggle. 430 lbs is a size that can kill you. Would you rather die young or struggle for a few years to lose some weight and establish healthy habits?

    I'm not trying to be mean. I sympathize with the feeling that this might take forever, but maybe it's time to stop thinking about how long it will take and start thinking about the benefits that you're getting out of it right now. How does your body feel compared to when you started? How much harder can you push yourself with exercise? If it's even a little bit better, that's progress. You. Are. Making. Progress. You're going to have to come to accept that however long this takes you, as long as you're trying, you're progressing.

    See, I keep coming back to check in and responses like this just... ugh, I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I'm really not. But as I've repeated, I didn't say I was giving up losing weight. This type of response is kind of like saying, I didn't read what you were really saying, Q.

    My weight is high. However, it isn't effectively killing me. Asking how my body feels with the progress I've made is a double-edged sword because I have been more sick and in pain in the last two years than I have in my whole life. I don't mean DOMS and the flu... I mean losing the weight has caused hormonal changes, that in turn have created catastrophic problems. At this point, losing weight "slow and steady" could be worse for me than anything else. I know what you're saying though.

    The way it's been, I fully expect to lose the rest of my uterus to this. Sometimes I really regret ever starting. I was much happier overall. I could handle being fat then.

    I just wanted to try and connect with someone that's dealing with something at least somewhat close, that's all. Facing a longer battle. Maybe even someone that has gotten sick because of it like me.

  • Sreneesa
    Sreneesa Posts: 1,170 Member
    I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

    This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

    I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

    Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

    Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

    I do not think they didn't read the thread in its entirety, I think that the tone is ambiguous and some just took it as you were giving up based on some stuff you may have said.

    Saying they didn't "bother" after they are trying to be positive is... nevermind... I think you are just having a bad day and nothing no one says is going to satisfy whatever you are looking for.

    I do wish you the best and big hugs sent your way.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    The thing about MFP is that you kind of have to take it as you find it. I've watched people quit and come back 67434739 times, watched people quit and never come back, I've reached out for support and not received it, and other times I have.

    The hard truth is that people are imperfect, and you can't really depend upon them to get you through this. At the end of the day, you have to find what you need within yourself to finish this journey. We can all cheer you on, but no one can do it for you.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    I guess I'm sad about it all, and about to give up on MFP. Could use some motivation to keep it going.
    Sorry. You're not alowed. As one of your MFP friends, I just can't let you do that.

    I'll try and do better but have to admit, I am pretty shallow, at least on MFP.:flowerforyou:
  • kirsten2001
    kirsten2001 Posts: 2 Member
    I think it's amazing you have come so far!! You are definately not alone in this struggle, and that's what it is...an everyday struggle. Keep it up and remember you are 100% worth it.
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
    I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

    This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

    I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

    Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

    Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

    People are just trying to reach out to you in the best way that they know how. Maybe we are not saying the words that you need to hear but IMO they were words spoken from their hearts.

    Someone once said to me that they didn't know what to say when I was going through some trials...it didn't matter to me if they said the right words or not...what mattered is that they cared enough to reach out.

    Sometimes you have to go past the words and see what is in another persons heart.
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    Genuinely curious...what kind of health problems did losing weight cause? If it's in your blog, can you PM the blog to me? I looked through your profile and can't find it. (I admittedly have never used or read the blog feature)
  • michelleneli
    michelleneli Posts: 132 Member
    I wish you well in your path to health whether on MFP or not.

    Michelle in Ohio

    5'6" 330lbs.
  • slauth
    slauth Posts: 1
    Because you matter and I matter we have got to hang in there
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
    Long post incoming.
    I usually get involved with comments when people seem to really want help... but in the end, they write-off what they don't like reading. It can be legitimately helpful and informed, but it doesn't matter. There's always a reason why it doesn't apply when you don't like it... That's the nature of life I suppose, but if you're not open to opinions, you shouldn't ask the public.
    If people aren't taking your advice because they want to starve themselves on 800 calorie diets, don't give them any advice. In fact, it'd probably be best to stay away from giving advice entirely if a person is doing something that looks ridiculous or risky because a ton of folks are already going to be in there yelling at them like you want to. Resist the urge and only respond to thread creators who seem to be receptive to new ideas.
    Where are all the super fat people that have stopped feeling sorry for themselves all the time, and are actually taking this seriously? Who have moved past letting their heavy body be an excuse for why they don't exercise? Who will help me feel like I'm not so alone in fighting an almost impossible beast?
    There are a ton of people who were/still are very fat and have worked or are continuing to work hard to reach their goals. In fact, I've noticed that a few of the more popular ones have graced this thread. Maybe you can FR them, or start a conversation by PMing them. A lot of the hard working people here seem to be very friendly.
    Where are the thinner people who are genuinely interested in partnering and motivating, who don't assume that because you're super fat, they automatically know more than you? Those that will have a legitimate conversation about health topics, instead of going into lecture mode on the assumption that you brought up the topic because you're obese and don't know anything about it?
    If someone is giving you unsolicited advice, tell them you're not interested in it and stop the conversation. There's really not a lot you can do to prevent it from happening in the first place, but letting people know you don't tolerate it is important. If you bring up a topic yourself and someone goes into lecture mode or starts discussing things you didn't want them to bring up, either clarify the kind of input you want from them or change the subject.

    You say that you have a lot of people on your friend list who seem to be supportive and friendly. Engage them in the kinds of conversations you want! Don't give up on them, there are probably a few who genuinely want to help you and be there for you. Scour the forums for people who look like they're working their butts off and add them. Join groups. If you want to stay social on MFP then approach it like you're approaching your weight loss. Keep on rolling until you find the kind of people you want to surround yourself with.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

    This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

    I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

    Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

    Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

    I think you're having a bad day (week? month? life?), aren't expressing yourself clearly, and seem to be dismissing the very people who have taken their time to try and offer the kind of support you say you're not getting from the MFP community.

    Your posts so far in this thread are coming off very ungrateful and borderline rude.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    I just want to reiterate for people who aren't bothering to read this thread in its entirety. I'm not quitting my weightloss. I didn't say that, I haven't said that in any of my comments. I'm not looking for "weight loss inspiration." There is no struggle in that department.

    This is solely about the point in using MFP itself.

    I have in no way, shape, or form indicated that I was quitting the attempt to get healthy. I made one comment about how it can be hard to know that 100 pounds down is still 150 from the goal, but I didn't say that it was stopping me. So I don't understand why people keep trying to motivate me to keep losing weight on this thread like I'm about to go give it all up.

    Frankly, after the weightloss nearly killing me twice now, and all the stuff I have dealt with, it would be pretty stupid to give up on it. I have literally sacrificed organs for this sometimes-seeming-pipe-dream. If I give up, I lost them for absolutely nothing.

    Read my blog if you want to know those details. This was just me wondering about the merit of continuing on MFP vs. going it alone.

    If you don't use MFP, how will you track your calories?