Ugly fat pig! Skinny pathetic skeleton! Fat butt slut!

I wanted to say Thank You so much for your insight into the impact thoughtless words can have. No matter what your circumstances the wounds of weight based comments or for that matter ANY comment on physical appearance may run deeply an have a profoundly lasting impact on people's lives.

Yesterday my Doctor made what was to him an innocent remark that was meant to be inspiring after I told him that not that long ago I used to weigh in at 126kg (268 lbs). He said something along the lines of "Wow, that is an amazing achievement .....what do you weigh now.....60 kgs?" (132 lbs). Which is a great, healthy weight for my height 5'5", however my goal was to be lower than this. The last time I got weighed I was a smidge over 50kgs (110 lbs) and due to other health problems have lost more weight since then.....

The horrible thing is that I felt gutted that he got the number wrong. I have always struggled to control my incorrect perceptions of my body, I never get clothe size right (always pick out things much bigger), I have looked in the mirror since childhood and the person looking back looks much bigger and have slipped in and out of ED behaviour for all of my life. Since this happened I have struggled to control the rising sense of panic and self-loathing that I thought I had put to rest. I feel like all the Counselling, self-help etc is SO fragile; it takes such a little incident and I unravel......that makes me feel even more pathetic.

Reading about the experience of others and the impact verbal comments paints a vivid, clear picture that EVEN seemingly innocent remarks about anothers body can create profound, unintended results......None of us can know what someone has had to deal with in their past or what burdens they are trying to integrate and live with in their present.

I hope this isn't true, but I have no reason to doubt that it is. It makes me very sad for the girl.

I have never called someone a name because of their physical appearance, and I'm not going to start doing so after reading this...that's for sure. Now if everyone else could just follow, it would great.

Thank you for the touching post and poignant reminder. :flowerforyou:

I'm glad I took the time to read this. It is unreal how cruel people are in this world, but at the same time there are many wonderful people like yourself that are there too. I want to cry every time someone commits suicide because of bullying. This should be taken more seriously in schools. PERIOD.
Thanks for sharing.

I have loved that song from the first time I heard it.

quote]
This reminds me of a song I love.

Don't laugh at me, don' call me names.
Don't get your pleasure from my pain.
In God's eyes, we're all the same,
One day we'll all have perfect wings.

Thank you for posting!
[/quote]

Thanks for taking the time to share this!
Be kind people.

I think this needs to be shared universally! Thanks for posting these stories, hoping the hearts of those women have been or will be healed with time.

Your wife is wonderfully lucky to have such a caring husband!

This reminded me that I try and stay away from the office gossip. It's actually caused other coworkers to stop inviting me to break time with them. They like to talk a lot about other people at work and I sit there and don't say much when they talk about others. If they are talking about positive things, I happily join in, but when the conversations changes to negativity, I clam up. I don't want to talk poorly of others. So I go alone for breaks or work through them. Better than listening to negativity.

Thank you for your post! I feel much the same way! You should always take others feelings into consideration when saying something about them or to them.

I have been teaching my daughters to deal with the bullying that they face on a daily basis...as well as my nephews. A lot of parents do not teach their kids to be kind to others...or even try to. My sis has a kid that bullies but not shaming bodies...because he has seen me and my sister as well as my daughters dealing with it in his life. We are working with him trying to show him how to behave...it is very hard.

There is a child that loves to taunt him daily...his rival enemy..a smaller child that runs his mouth constantly. He follows my nephew home from school and tells him about me and my sister being fat on and on, talking about my children as well. I am tempted to talk to the other child's mother about his calling names and so forth but from past experiences I know she will do nothing.

The other day he was doing the name-calling thing...and I had no idea about it...had talked to my sis over the phone about going for a walk. When I show up there with my kids and neighbor kids in tow. He thinks that my nephew had told on him so he decides to follow us and taunt...My sis and I took pics of him following and video of his attitude and let the other kids know not to be bothered that if he follows for five more minutes we were calling the cops for harassment. His friends overheard the comment and made him leave. Keep in mind this child is about ten years old. There is nothing I can do about it and his mother won't do anything. I figure if we report him to the police enough something will be done.

But bullying comes every day from one source or another. Yes I've lost 100 lbs. I'm still not to goal...does that mean I deserve to be treated that way no...and believe me if the kid was an adult...I would have been tempted to show him what my boxing does for me. LOL But what can you do but report it to the proper authorities and build a thick skin. I refuse to lower myself to that level and call names back..Police are the way to go in this instance. I will talk to the mother..but I also will talk to the police if this keeps up any longer. Its gotten out of control.

This is just one example of the bullying my children and nephews face...but there are more. My youngest has gotten to where she ignores all other children around her...and doesn't have any friends.

Life is tough for everyone..but I try to keep my kids positive and yes I take them out for walks..and we play, we dance. We have fun! And ignore the other children that can't be positive around us.

That's how I run my life...keep the positive and push out all negative attitudes. Hopefully it helps them to learn that they don't have to listen to other people's opinions on their lives...because it is their lives!

I have been teaching my daughters to deal with the bullying that they face on a daily basis

This.

While I certainly wouldn't disagree that's it's bad to be nasty to others, I also think people tend to ignore that life often IS nasty generally and that often can't be avoided.
To much it seems people won't make any decent effort to help the indivdual learn to solve problems themselves and also to live with that live life not always been roses.

And yes I DO have personal experience of such.

What a great post! I wish there were more people like you in the world . I've been on the receiving end of such comments from family, friends, exes, etc and it definitely takes a toll on a person.

Great share. I can't believe you met three women who all had "connecting" stories. It was meant for you to be reminded of the importance of kindness and to remind others the same. Thanks for being a kind hearted person!