Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME
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Dump him! If appearance and "perfection" is that important to him, I bet that he will not find you attractive if you get married and get pregnant. What if you ever had to have a breast removed, or you were scarred in an accident or because of surgery? You may want to lose weight, but no matter what, you deserve someone who cares no matter how you look.0
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Um....you really really REALLY need to just tell the human food processor that he needs to tuck tail and leave. If all he does is come over, eat your food, make you feel bad about trying to eat healthy or what you look like or what you wear and then leaves when he's consumed everything but the kitchen sink....he does not need to be in your life. So please get rid of him...besides, you'll lose 120 lbs in the space of about 5 mins! :drinker: Your first step in this journey is to take a good hard look at yourself. Realize that, whatever you weigh, whatever problems you are having, whatever douchecanoe boyfriend is hanging around your neck like a cancerous albatross.....YOU are AWESOME. You are AMAZING. And you DESERVE to be respected and loved for you, no matter what you might weigh or what size your shorts are. Tell him to kiss it. Eat what you know you need to eat to be healthy for YOU, screw him. HIDE your food when he comes over if you don't want to kick his inconsiderate shallow *kitten* to the curb. Just make sure when he says he's coming over to tell him "Hey can you stop by the grocery store and pick up some (whatever).. I haven't had a chance to go shopping and it's pretty bare in the kitchen!" He'll either help supply food or not come over. You deserve much better than that man. And he's sabotaging any effort you make to become healthier. You know why? Because he knows that you're going to realize what a loser he is and drop him like you'd drop a dirty sock. Good luck!!0
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Just break up.0
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TL: DR
Well, honestly, I skimmed, but anyway...sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and should talk to a professional about it.0 -
Too long, didn't read.
1) tell him to eat a ****
2) respond to everything he says "Bro, do you EVEN lift?"
3) break up with him0 -
So he sabotages you and says nasty things to you, being entirely UNsupportive and destructive. I would lose about 130lbs and it can keep it's winter coat! He is a mooch and a bully among other things.0
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Tell him if he doesn't go away forever and ever...that you're going to cook him and eat him with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Don't smile when you say this. Have his crap scattered across the yard in front of your house to make your point.
Then...don't do this again. Find a nice guy and in the meantime, learn to love to do things with people who love and respect you.0 -
Maybe those comments are his way of getting you to eat less so he can scarf down more of your food.
Seriously though, his penis must be HUGE.0 -
Your significant other should make you feel good about yourself. He's tearing you down.0
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So, what are his redeeming qualities?
^This.
All I saw was that this guy rags on you for what you eat or wear, mooches off of everybody and doesn't seem to stay in one place very long.
This. And I agree that you should break up with him. But if you want to to stick with it, you're going to need to train him. If he wants to act like a dog you might as well treat him like one. So how about every time he says something negative or treats you poorly, you withhold sex for a week. Maybe he'll learn some manners that way.
Or put all of that time and energy into finding someone who is worthy of you. You sound smart and healthy (and I'm sure you are beautiful and NOT chubby at 130lbs) and you can definitely find someone who treats you better. I hope you do.0 -
Lose the boyfriend and you will probably lose the weight.
I don't think your stats sound like you are overweight so you might also want to get yourself some counselling about body image.
Spend your money on fresh food and start looking after yourself. Making up your calories on lollies is not all that good for you, and doing it just to make your "boyfriend" stop picking on you doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Really, do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who makes you feel like ****. Get rid of him.
Notice how NO-ONE is supporting this skinny little *****. He's not worth it.0 -
Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.0
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First, tell him everything that you just told us. It sounds like you never really call him out on anything so he might not even realize what an inconsiderate douche he's being. If he doesn't seem to think that he's in the wrong at all, dump his *kitten*. He needs to acknowledge how bad he's treating you and then show a clear effort to CHANGE. It doesn't matter how much you love him, if being with him is draining you, emotionally or financially, then it's just not worth it.0
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Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.
I like you. A lot. :flowerforyou:0 -
You could lose 120 pounds today with just a few words.0
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Thank you everyone; this is all really helpful!0
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agree - an easy and healthy way to lose 120lbs immediately
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Lol! But he loves bugs and snakes! He'd probably never leave if I gave him free spiders!Please dump his *kitten*. And if you can't bring up the courage to do so, find a bunch of empty food boxes, fill them all with spiders, and strategically place them around your kitchen. Invite him over for an all-you-can-eat buffet. Small snakes will work, too. When he pours himself a big bowl of spiders, grab his chin, look deep into his eyes, and quietly say, "You brought this upon yourself. Now you are cursed." Problem solved.
I figured out how to quote!0 -
It sounds like you need to take a serious look at your relationship.
Why are you with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself?
Why are you supporting someone who doesn't want to support themselves?
exactly this. and it kind of sounds like he's just using you for the food, especially if he doesn't want to buy his own or what not. I think you really need to evaluate your relationship first before you focus on the weight loss.0 -
Have no idea how old you both are, but he for one, sounds like he's in high school, yet you've been together for 'YEARS' and he's not making more money yet to contribute financially. I got married 5'2" 110 and was skinny so it doesn't add up that you where chubby, we divorced...primarily over my weight gain. This is called red flags. Your women's intuition.
Also it doesn't add up that he eats 5 boxes of cereal and all the pasta being a diabetic. Another sign he is immature and isn't taking care of himself. That job will also fall into your hands if you stay...buying the food and monitoring what he's eating.0 -
Maybe those comments are his way of getting you to eat less so he can scarf down more of your food.
Seriously though, his penis must be HUGE.
Well, I don't have anything to compare it to.
But that could actually be his scheme all along... hmmm...0 -
I stayed with a guy for four years who criticized my appearance, gave me an eating disorder, and made me incredibly depressed and insecure. Then I kicked him out, and now I'm healthy and happy. It doesn't matter how long you've been together if he treats you like *kitten*. Lose him, now.0
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exactly can he atleast get a JOB as like.. a clerk..?Sounds like you should focus on losing more than just weight.0 -
I feel like it'd be mean/selfish to tell him to buy his own food, because I KNOW he never has any money. I mean, I know he needs to get a job but he seems content just waiting for his relatives to give him money and doesn't seem to want one... He did buy his own food occasionally, stuff that I would never eat because I'm a vegetarian and the junk food he sometimes offers me is what made me gain weight in the first place!Wow, this is a lot of information to take in! It sounds like this has been on your mind a lot. Good for you for getting it all out there. Firstly, I am sorry you have to take verbal abuse from your boyfriend. The things he says or insinuates is very insulting. It sounds like he is insecure with himself, so feels the need to take you down in order to make you feel less than what you are. Those comments are NOT supportive of you and is definitely not helping you lose weight. It's a very negative and toxic relationship to be in.
Second, if he keeps eating all of your food I would be like, hey.. you can't come over because you keep eating my food, or, Hey...next time you come over, bring your own food with you. I think it's so disrespectful for him to just keep staying at your place and then leaving you with nothing. Have you ever told him that it isn't respectful? That's something I would expect a child visiting home from university to do, not a boyfriend!
Why are you with him? Do you love him? Does he make you happy? Are you are a better person for being with him? I surround myself with people I enjoy being around. Do you enjoy being around him/look forward to hanging out with him? I would think really hard about all of these questions. If you have been with him for awhile, you may just be staying with him out of habit and are scared of the change. But don't be! It sounds like he is greatly holding you back from reaching your full potential and is sabotaging all of your efforts to be more healthy, AND draining your pockets!
He makes me happy sometimes, and says nice things that make me feel good about myself (mostly only when we're pillow-talking?). I feel like the comments are never intentionally hurtful but it always makes me feel awful. I feel like I'm not exactly letting him hold me back, but I'm holding myself back and just using him as an excuse to not do the things I should, like get a part-time job, lose weight, make friends, etc..... He's definitely insecure, but I'm super insecure too so it's a bad cycle, and whenever I'm assertive I feel bad afterwards.
I do like hanging out with him, although we don't have much in common. I really have no one else to hang out with because I never made friends properly here when I moved because I was always trying to be focused on him.0 -
Just break up. Criticising weight or appearance should be an instant deal beaker! He clearly doesn't respect you at all.0
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Also you can d waaaaay better than someone who "makes you happy sometimes". That's like the bare minimum standard for a human being!0
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Oh man, I have been right where you are.
1. This is not about you.
2. A lot of guys struggle with their significant others being bigger than them in all sorts of ways: physically (taller, wider, whatever), making more money, having better jobs, etc etc. I'm not saying that's the majority of guys by any means, but some guys are like this. And a lot of skinny guys and short guys find this particularly hard. Without going into details, I have really been there myself, but now I'm with someone who doesn't need me to be shorter, smaller, worse at things, less intelligent for him to feel tall, big, talented or intelligent. And that is something worth holding out for.
3. I'll repeat: this is not about you or your size. This is about your boyfriend feeling insecure about being a skinny guy and putting you down so you stay insecure with him.
You have a few options - dump him. But I'm guessing that he has some good qualities that you are attracted to and want to see through. In which case, I'd highly suggest counseling because you should have a supervised conversation about this, if for no other reason than having someone else tell you that you are not crazy and that your boyfriend is, in fact, being unkind and perhaps a little bit manipulative. However, don't stick with the guy just because you want to justify the last 4 years.
Finally, have a look at this: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/power-in-relationships/200905/are-you-being-gaslighted and see if his behaviour seems to make more sense. When you try to talk about this, does he make it about your reaction instead of about his own actions?0 -
To put it bluntly he sounds like an *kitten*, and you should work on healthy relationship skills in addition to getting healthy eating wise.0
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I've seen at least a dozen versions of the same post. And no shortage of people giving the obvious answer. Crazy.agree - an easy and healthy way to lose 120lbs immediately0 -
Dump him. Life is too short for stupid- ness!:grumble:0
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