Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME

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  • deebee227
    deebee227 Posts: 14
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    When I was your age I didn't listen to good advice and I ended up with somebody not so nice. I am not going to waste effort reiterating all the great advice you got but just ponder this: When your SUPER young like you sound to be (early 20's?). You literally feel like you have forever ahead. You don't and youth goes by too fast. Don't waste it.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    So, I was listening to a news broadcast this morning about women and children and how we should spend our time in college finding a husband so that we can have kids before we are 30. Because, you know, after 30 our bodies shut down (sarcasm). Anyway, it gave me a sad.

    Thanks for posting this. It's a great reminder about what should, and what should not, define as women.
    I'm sorry that it gave you a sad. It would've given me a :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :sad: :laugh: :laugh:

    Imagine a world where news broadcasts implied that the worth of a man was in the ability to inseminate women (and without that, they might as well have one foot in the grave).

    snu_snu.gif
    HA HA HAHA
    it gives me a :explode: :mad: :explode: :mad: :explode: :mad: :explode: not so much a sad.

    Glad I posted it- I just get really angry when people reduce my self worth to a broad mare. Creating life is not that special. Any rodent or vermin can do it as well. Yes yes magic and miracle of life- every sperm is a good sperm bla bla bla. But it's not for everyone and you shouldn't put me on a pedestal because I have a vagina- put me up there because I'm fit- fabulous- charming successful smart and hot- but not because of my vagina- it's not doing *kitten*- I"m doing all the hard work here!!!

    LOL- yes- men's worth- knocking women up- heh- they already have self esteem issues with size- cant' imagine what that would do to their brains.

    :laugh: :drinker:

    It gave me a sad because discouraging women from reaping the full benefits of higher education goes against everything I believe in - and I'm appalled that in this day and age that drivel is allowed to hit the airways.

    I don't have an issue with a woman WANTING to be a housewife and mom.

    I have an issue when they think that's what they are SUPPOSED to do- or all they CAN achieve. My mom's goal was to do that- she still got a degree- still works- still is a functional human being. Life didn't work out quiet the way she wanted- so she had a back up plan to take care of her self. And she does- my dad is here- they are still married- but she certainly isn't a stay at home mom like she wanted!!!

    so YES- agreed!!!!
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Time to get a new boyfriend.
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    Ask him why he skips leg day and the rest will take care of itself.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    I don't have an issue with a woman WANTING to be a housewife and mom.

    I have an issue when they think that's what they are SUPPOSED to do- or all they CAN achieve. My mom's goal was to do that- she still got a degree- still works- still is a functional human being. Life didn't work out quiet the way she wanted- so she had a back up plan to take care of her self. And she does- my dad is here- they are still married- but she certainly isn't a stay at home mom like she wanted!!!

    so YES- agreed!!!!

    Yes, totally agree. I have no issue with SAHMs. It should be a choice and women need to not be so judgmental of other women. Financial independence is extremely important to me for many reasons, which is why I've always been a die hard career girl. But, it's not the only way. And sometimes I wish I could let it go just a little bit. Ahhhh c'est la vie.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    When I was your age I didn't listen to good advice and I ended up with somebody not so nice. I am not going to waste effort reiterating all the great advice you got but just ponder this: When your SUPER young like you sound to be (early 20's?). You literally feel like you have forever ahead. You don't and youth goes by too fast. Don't waste it.

    great point- now that we side tracked about babies and chit.


    I wasted 2 years of my life with someone who was ashamed to be with me. What a waste. A shame I spent time with someone who didn't appreciate me.

    Fast forward- 2 years into a solid relationship- I broke up with my BF- and after 3 months I realized what I was walking away from and what I was wasting if I left for forever- we came back to the table and negotiated/sorted out some of our issues and agreed to work harder on US... but I don't ever feel like my time with him is wasted- he makes me feel like I'm the best thing since fu*king sliced bread and I realized 3 months without him how much better my life was with him- and how much happier I was with him.

    Don't waste time not being happy.
  • elfram2
    elfram2 Posts: 26 Member
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    Your boyfriend is a jerk and you need to learn about what is truly healthy. Not the crap you see on tv and other places. A normal BMI for a 5" 4" female is between 110 and 145. At 130-135 you are a HEALTHY 22-23 BMI.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Drop your boyfriend; that's the weight you need to lose.
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 701 Member
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    I know you're afraid of being alone, but keep in mind you can be with someone and still be lonely. A significant other should make your life better and make you want to be a better version of yourself. (Note I said 'make you want to be' and not 'tell you how to be'.) Anything less than this and you're better off on your own. Find new friends and reconnect with old ones and family. You need a support system and goals. Not just health goals, but life goals. Once you get your life in motion, you'll realize how much you're letting him and this relationship hold you back. Good luck.
  • klyn7788
    klyn7788 Posts: 52 Member
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    Everyone else has perfect advice. However, someday down the road, you'll find someone great and there's a good chance that he can eat a ton and not put on weight. Men can be annoying like that sometimes. Sometimes, I have to have a salad and watch my SO eat two cheeseburgers. If he starts to gain weight, he quits eating cookies for a week and the problem usually solves itself. It's annoying and feels not fair but that's life sometimes. You will need to figure out what works for your body and know that sometimes it sucks.
  • rrsuthy
    rrsuthy Posts: 236 Member
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    He sounds abusive and controlling. Dump him now before it escalates into something worse.

    Ask yourself why you would want to stay with someone who does not respect you. What's wrong in your life that makes you think you are unworthy of something better?

    I hope you realize, and soon, that you are worth so much more than this and you deserve better. Break the cycle now. It may be tough, but it will be easier today than it will tomorrow or a month from now or a year from now. Don't let him completely break you.
  • Pipsg1rl
    Pipsg1rl Posts: 1,414 Member
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    please see this for what it is.

    MENTAL ABUSE.

    -he calls you names
    -he eats all your food so that you don't and makes you feel fat if you eat YOUR OWN FOOD THAT YOU BUY
    -he only talks sweet when he wants some of the nookie (which you probably provide), and I bet he makes you feel guilty if you don't.
    -he stays until food is gone... which means he probably goes and overstays his welcome at someone else's place until you get paid and go grocery shopping again
    -he controls your thoughts "am I too fat?" "no one else will want me." "he's bad to me because he has his own depression about his diabetes."

    and you make excuses. Everything you said that he does you MAKE EXCUSES. "Oh he's like that because he's on medication." "oh, he's broke and can't get a job and I love him." "Oh, he doesn't have anywhere else to stay so I take care of him."

    NO.
    NO.
    NO!

    Imagine what you would say to your sister if she told you her boyfriend treated her like this.
    Imagine what you would say to a daughter if she told you her boyfriend treated her like this.

    You are so much better than allowing yourself to go on this way. and when you do break up with him you will probably need a counselor since you said you have been with him for a few years. Otherwise you will do the same thing with another guy.

    Just because he doesn't HIT you doesn't mean it's not ABUSE.
  • DWBalboa
    DWBalboa Posts: 37,259 Member
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    The only weight you truly need to loss is the 120 pounds of a P.O.S. that is criticizing you. Your man is someone who is supposed to build you up, not tear you down. Loss the dead weight!
    Find a person who appreciates you, the person on the inside.
    Good luck.
    V/r,
    DW.
  • BreakingUpWithObesity2013
    BreakingUpWithObesity2013 Posts: 276 Member
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    Why are you even w/someone who treats you that way in the first place?? Seems like losing weight is the least of ur worries at the moment..might want to step back and evaluate ur choices..
  • eAddict
    eAddict Posts: 212 Member
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    Sounds like you should focus on losing more than just weight.
    This.
  • Da_Big_Kahuna
    Da_Big_Kahuna Posts: 117 Member
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    I think you need to lose some weight... about 120 lbs of insensitive jerk.
  • allana1111
    allana1111 Posts: 390 Member
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    so.... you're with him..... why?
  • jax71868
    jax71868 Posts: 15 Member
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    I think you need to lose some weight... about 120 lbs of insensitive jerk.

    THIS!!!
  • accebersmith
    accebersmith Posts: 96 Member
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    He sounds like an ex in the making. Dump him.
  • kurviekutie
    kurviekutie Posts: 26 Member
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    He sounds abusive and controlling. Dump him now before it escalates into something worse.

    Ask yourself why you would want to stay with someone who does not respect you. What's wrong in your life that makes you think you are unworthy of something better?

    I hope you realize, and soon, that you are worth so much more than this and you deserve better. Break the cycle now. It may be tough, but it will be easier today than it will tomorrow or a month from now or a year from now. Don't let him completely break you.

    YES!!! ALL OF THIS ^^^^!!! And what everyone else said too. He is abusive. Just because he isn't hitting you with fists doesn't mean the trauma isn't there. His words are warping your perception of yourself. I am currently at 225 and only 5'1". Yeah, I am overweight. Fat by some standards. But my husband adores every bump, curve, bulge and jiggle. A real man loves a woman for her heart and mind not a number on a scale or tag. I am working on losing weight and it is happening. I have been 113 lbs (roughly what the chart says I should be) and it is GROSS!!! I look like a skeleton! You sound like you are perfectly healthy at your weight. Please don't starve yourself for a man. He will make YOU disappear in more ways than you can imagine.

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