Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME

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Replies

  • little_firebug
    little_firebug Posts: 22 Member
    5'4" and only 130! I wish! I think your only extra weight is your dude. :(
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
    He's a ****, and I bet it's not because of food, it's just his nature.
    I wonder why are you still with someone who doesn't appreciate you...
  • TriShamelessly
    TriShamelessly Posts: 905 Member
    What exactly are you getting out of this relationship is the only response that comes to mind?!?!
  • konerusp
    konerusp Posts: 247 Member
    For me , a man who cannot make his living and cannot support his family is junk!dont get me wrong,i have my job,i earn my share for my family,but the guy needs to make a living unless he is sick or can't get out of bed!Also,if someone is making you feel miserable and is forcing to change your habits,I would think about the relationship.Trust your gut,trust yourself!
  • there's no way he is any benefit to you.... loose some extra baggage and drop him. i know being in a relationship is "comfortable" but it'll be so much better without that negativity.
  • Losing_Sarah
    Losing_Sarah Posts: 279 Member
    He sounds terrible. Why are you with him? He is abusive. He will only get worse. It's seriously time to dump him and move on.
  • hogsrgr8
    hogsrgr8 Posts: 3 Member
    I didn't read all of the comments, so it may have been said already. 1st of all, if you are stressing - you are storing fat! If you are stressing, you are more than likely stress eating with bad foods. If you are stressing, find the source and get rid of it - it is pretty clear to me what that stressor is. You have your own life, I know what I would do if I were in your shoes!!! I would get rid of my stressor!
  • TEMMEAlexa
    TEMMEAlexa Posts: 79 Member
    Being fit and healthy is of course good. Getting into shape is such a good feeling but your boyfriend is judgmental about your body or shape. Why don't you tell him that either he should stop all this non- sense or you would leave. Moreover, you should also remind him that he is a skinny man which in no ways indicates a healthy or fit body. This means that he should mind his own business, make sure that he himself is fit before pointing fingers at others.
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    I think you'd feel a LOT happier and be way less stressed out physically and emotionally if you ditched this guy.

    Its hard enough taking care of yourself, but taking care of a dumb guy who uses you (while he seems to use everybody in his life) for food and attitude.

    You deserve a man who complements you, not guilt trips you.
    You deserve a man who buys you the food, not scavenges your cabinets.

    You'd financially be more stable, your body will be able to feel like you have enough food and you can eat healthily without that guy as a bad influence.

    Take a step back from him, think as an outside person does looking in and try to detach yourself emotionally. Then you can see what needs to be done.

    By the way, don't think you can't go without him. You are way more independent than you think :)
  • Amberlynnek
    Amberlynnek Posts: 405 Member
    Drop him. He sounds like a mooch with zero ambition and just wants everyone to take care of him. I understand the financial side of things, he's just abusing you. Get rid of him and find your own happiness.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,327 Member
    This guy sounds like other young people I have heard about. They gorge on massive junk in one sitting, then shoot themselves up with insulin. They seem oblivious to the fact that they are destroying their bodies. Someone like that is not a person I would want as a partner.
  • mari213
    mari213 Posts: 101 Member
    Loose the boyfriend.. keep you confidence! Oh and btw.. your boyfriend should lift!!
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    You need to lose approximately 120lbs, if you know what I mean. :wink:

    Don't let someone else dictate to you what you should weigh. Anyone making jabs about your weight is not going to change even if you lose more. They'll simply find something else about you they don't like.
  • puffinbrae
    puffinbrae Posts: 43 Member
    If you were my daughter I'd ask you to read what you've posted as if someone else had written it - your wee sister or your best friend.
    Ask yourself what advice you'd give her. Then follow your own advice. Trust yourself.
  • Dedshot
    Dedshot Posts: 145
    You are 5 foot 4 and weigh 130 to 135 pounds? I am 5 foot 3 and weigh 126 to around 130 or so. It just changes all of the time with the time of the month and all of that. I would say we are about the same size but I have a medium frame (I have super broad shoulders for a women, it runs in the family!) and you claim to have a small frame... Still not much of a difference. You sound healthy, in my opinion. If you want to, just start taking walks and cut out junk food and sodas.

    By the way, my boyfriend is 5 foot 6 and weighs maybe 130 pounds. He is extremely skinny, and has narrower shoulders than me. And he says he loves how much a weigh and he does not think skinny girls are attractive. He makes me feel good about myself... Your boyfriend sounds mean. I would not want to be with someone who made comments like that.

    All very good points above, couldn't say it better myself. ;)

    That said, I am not going to lie, I like skinny boys. I can understand why you would want to look similar to them.

    ...BUT the skinniest I have EVER BEEN is 118 and I am 5'3. You should NEVER be skinnier than ~110-115 regardless of your "frame". Its unhealthy. (look up your BMI & body fat % for exact numbers)

    Truthfully, based on what you have said, neither you nor your boyfriend have healthy eating habits regardless of your weight. Exercise and eat more fruits/veggies. No binging/purging. (Yes, you can purge without throwing-up or using meds.)

    ...AND work on your relationship or ditch it. The stress ALONE can put weight on you.

    Good Luck! :3

    I'm 5' 3" and I've never weighed more than 105 pounds. Before I began strength training I weighed 100-102 pounds. And yes, I have a small frame. It does make a difference. I'm just pointing our your general statement is incorrect. I may be on the low end of the spectrum but I was born that way. That doesn't make me unhealthy. I'm sure many other people are the same as me.
  • bciloveme2014
    bciloveme2014 Posts: 213 Member
    I think you need to lose some weight... about 120 lbs of insensitive jerk.

    If you just start with that, you will loose weigh to begin.
  • missbehave79
    missbehave79 Posts: 15 Member
    Like everyone said, he sounds like a total jerk and you should move on. Besides that, from what I'm gathering he is a type I and with habits like that he is putting himself into an early grave. Just because he is skinny doesn't mean he's healthy!
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
    I had a boyfriend who made me buy all his food (and cigarettes and weed) and would comment on my food intake, take food away from me, etc. I gained a bunch of weight when I was with him. When I dumped him, I lost it all without trying. Probably because without that stress I was able to eat normally. It's a bad relationship. Get out and be happy.
  • flea2449
    flea2449 Posts: 499 Member
    dump that lazy *kitten* sack of crap! He is definitely not a MAN if he has to live off of you and everybody else! I'm sure he puts you down just so he can feel like a MAN!
  • HerbertNenenger
    HerbertNenenger Posts: 453 Member
    There are so many things wrong here I don't know where to begin. In general, this whole relationship sounds toxic to me. Are you even happy? ugh. I can't stand him and I never met him. Do you want to waste another minute of your life on someone that really doesn't appreciate you and just uses you and puts you down? If you can't drum up enough courage to quit the relationship because you got comfortable, then next time he puts you down for your weight, tell him he can either love you the way you are, or leave.... and hold open the door. If he chooses to stay, then tell him he can't mention it ever again. But I think it's better if he goes, to tell you the truth. If I had to live my life over again, it certainly wouldn't include jerks like him. Too much wasted time.
  • narfy88
    narfy88 Posts: 15 Member
    I'm not going to leave you judgemental comments or tell you how your boyfriend sounds like a total douche, because he obviously has to have some redeeming qualities that you find endearing or you wouldn't have spend years of your life taking his crap. I'm just going to give you some advice because I too have dealt with a (somewhat) similar problem in my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend going on 8 years. I've gained over 100 pounds in those 8 years. After all that weight, my boyfriend loves me just the same. He doesn't harp on my weight or make mean comments. But he sees how it effects ME and my day to day life and self esteem, so he encourages me to make a healthy change to better my life, and ultimately better his. For a little while, i was hung up on him making this change with me. I felt like I cant do this on my own, which is true. But he wasn't so keen on it at first, and thats when I started turning to MFP for the support I needed. Now, 3 months into my weight loss, he is more on board then ever.Maybe you need to do as I did, and have serious sit down talk with him. Tell him how it makes you feel with he insults you for eating vegatables. Tell him you are trying to make a change for your happieness and he can either be there for you or keep his mouth shut.
    Since your boyfriend refuses to be your support system, you need to find something else. Even if its just logging in to MFP and randomly requesting Pals and then messaging them to try to get some people in your corner. Or join a gym and get a buddy. Find a healthy coworker thats willing to hear you out. This is a big piece of the puzzle that it sounds like your missing.

    Next, you and your boyfriend need to start doing the grocery shopping TOGETHER. Make a list of all the healthy foods you need to buy, and then try to add them up to see how much its going to cost. If you have any money left, tell your boyfriend the rest of the money is his to buy is junk food with. Maybe you should make your own cabinet or fridge space and tell him thats your healthy cabinet that he's not to eat from?

    I hope that you realize that you shouldn't be trying to lose weight for anyone but yourself. If you can live with a little bit of chub, but HE can't then its HIS problem, not yours. But if you are truly unhappy with your appearance, that quit starving yourself and start making REAL healthy choices. It sounds like you know what your doing isn't the 'right' way to do this. You need to focus on you and everyone else's opinions come second. I know its easier said than done when you put your boyfriend's wants and needs before your own sometimes, but it doesn't sound like he does the same. Good luck to you.
  • EllieB_5
    EllieB_5 Posts: 247 Member
    Every other sentence I read I was like "omg, why is she with this d-bag??" He stays at your place only if you have food to eat; he makes @sshole comments to you regularly; not only does he eat all your food, but he eats all the food everyone else he knows has in their homes; he has no job, seems unmotivated to get a job, mooches off of everyone including you.

    My advice, give him his walking papers if you haven't already. He's a huge @sshole who doesn't deserve a relationship of any kind.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    you should marry him
  • Hey~
    I understand that boyfriend related solutions can be easier said then done.
    I'm sure you understand that he's not the right guy for you right now but you just can't do anything it.
    What you need right now is support. Not a guy that's going to bring you down and make you feel financially and mentally unstable.
    When you starve yourself all day like that and eat junk food which has absolutely no nutritional values...your body is not going to appreciate it. Your cells basically save all of the fat to use as energy later, on the other hand if you eat regularly, your cells use those fat and burn it off as energy. Plus, later on you end up binge eating. I honestly still have temptations to starve all day and eat a low calorie filling food at night and go to sleep. Even if that low calorie food for instance an apple has nutritional value, my body will save it as fat. I'm honestly really frusterated with my weight also, that's why I signed up for this site. You're not the only one..and I'm not some stranger passing by this site. I hope your situation gets better and..the guy..just leave him. If that's difficult, meet another guy or just a close guy friend to get this loser out of your life. Doesn't seem like he has respect for you anyways. Were all here to support each other so stay in touch :)!!!
  • CarlaMichelle
    CarlaMichelle Posts: 67 Member
    You need to lose about 120 pounds. Everyone before me who said Love Yourself and move on with your life was right! AND i'm 5'3 and there is not way you were chubby at 115.... If i was 115 my family would be calling an intervention... it sounds like you need an intervention of your own. Please love yourself and do what is good for you!
  • bmbaldridge
    bmbaldridge Posts: 15 Member
    You're clearly unhappy in the relationship. Break up - people do it all the time. Boyfriend is immature and is either delusional or trying to pick fights. Either way, drop him like a ton of bricks.
  • twinklemcgee
    twinklemcgee Posts: 32 Member
    Dump his *kitten*!!
  • lardbut1960
    lardbut1960 Posts: 20 Member
    He's not going to change,
    He's not going to get better,
    He isn't interested in a long term relationship,
    He is a user and I'll bet he'll cheat on you,
    He's not worth your attention,
    It will hurt bad to be without him,
    And after that is over, someone who will really care for you will come round.

    I feel for you, you are in a tough boat, and have to hake a hard choice to value yourself over the relationship.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
    I can't tell you to leave but if you want, rather than having a week's worth of food in your kitchen, just make a trip to the store every day and only buy what you will be eating that day. That way you avoid having food around that you might binge eat and also if he comes over, there's no food for him to eat. Just an idea. Anyway, sorry for the long response, good luck honey. I feel for you, I know what it's like and it's not easy.

    Hey-
    I think I'm going to try that, although I do like stocking up on deal stuff, but I guess it doesn't save $ in the end... and I've been figuring out lately what sorts of foods survive the onslaught, like if I have any fruit in the fridge it survives! And he doesn't look twice at veggies! I just can't have any grains/cereal/bread/pretzels or cheese stuff, but this could actually force me to eat alot healthier.
  • digidream
    digidream Posts: 27 Member
    you should marry him

    Sure thing! :D