"Are you trying to get fat?"

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  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    Sometimes I wonder whether certain "people" walking around are actually even human. I've just heard from a tiny size 8 friend that she went to the petrol station this morning, decided to get a Twirl chocolate bar and the guy behind the counter said to her "are you trying to get fat?"

    ...how is this in ANY WAY ACCEPTABLE!?!!!?!!!

    Makes me so so mad. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT PEOPLE ARE EATING OR NOT EATING!

    Rant over.

    When you're thin or fit, people just don't think. It's not even about being malicious.

    I'm a man and this has happened to me. I was a fat kid and teen who lost weight in my late teens and early 20s. When I was 21, at my lowest adult weight, I took a trip to NYC to visit the university I was transferring to. My sister and I went to a diner and this really sweet, quite attractive, older woman served us. I guess she thought I looked in really great shape because she seriously advised me to NOT get something on the menu because she didn't want me to "ruin my figure". Seriously LOL. And she was super motherly and down right protective about it. She really didn't want me to ruin my body, despite having no idea that I was once obese and worked really hard to get what I had. I didn't find it insulting, probably because it was really refreshing to have a person actually comment on my fit state. If she'd said something about avoiding the food so I could lose some weight, now that would have set me off.

    In other news I wish I'd listened LOL!
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    It makes me angry when any clerk in any store comments on my purchases. When I bought Fifty Shades of Grey for my sister's birthday gift, the clerk said to me, "You do know what this is about, don't you?" My response was, "Yes, I do. I'm an adult and it's really none of your business anyway." Their job is not to analyze or make comments about my purchases! It crosses the line of being friendly.
    I am often appalled at the liberties people take with their commentary about my purchasing habits. Buying soda for the week, "Wow! That's a lot of soda! Having a party?" ("Well, if I am, you're not invited, so mind your own business!"). One time another shopper at Target felt the need to comment on the bulk pack of toilet paper my husband was carrying. Don't people usually stock up and save when there's a good price? Jeez. I kinda want to buy Preparation H, Vagisil and condoms every time I go shopping even though I don't use them just to make them feel awkward enough to keep their traps shut for once.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    Jeez. I kinda want to buy Preparation H, Vagisil and condoms every time I go shopping even though I don't use them just to make them feel awkward enough to keep their traps shut for once.

    But then this could happen to you:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kOewRGhtx8
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I got a lot more than 20 to go. And i didn't get fat by eating fruit, i gained all the weight when i was eating meat and dairy. I don't gain weight when i'm eating massive amounts of fruit, i lose it, just like everyone else who tries eating a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    that's funny- because I lost weight eating a high fat high protein diet - full of meat and dairy.
    You can lose weight that way, but that's not a sustainable healthy diet.

    You can lose weight, AND reverse heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune conditions and improve energy levels, improve cognitive ability, live longer, etc on a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    I have tried both. I have lost weight with both. But fruit and vegetable based diets are FAR, FAR healthier!

    1.)define sustainable?
    2.) how many years must one participate in order to sustain it?
    3.) define "healthier" healthier than my dog? sure- healthier than mcdonalds? I mean that's just way to generic to really quantify.

    I've also NEVER been over weight/fat in my life- couple extra pounds- sure- but I've always been very muscular as well since I was a child. Grew up on a well balanced meal of meat/potatoes/dairy/veggies/salad. I look pretty effing good for 30- have steller check ups from my doctor- so I'm not sure what more one needs to become sustainable and healthy other than that.

    shrug- I must be missing something.

    Jeez. I kinda want to buy Preparation H, Vagisil and condoms every time I go shopping even though I don't use them just to make them feel awkward enough to keep their traps shut for once
    heh- there is an anti-chafe silicone gel-not a personal lube- but for like razor burn and stuff- I buy for a make up primer- but it's made by monist-ate- so awkward.
    That and underwear- hate so weird- not sure why- but weird.

    I just make really obscure comments about stuff to break the ice and crack a joke and move on- it's easier for me to do it than leave it up to them to make "small talk" they'll butcher it most of the time.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
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    I would have told him to go f@ck himself.

    I would have said "yes" and went on my merry way.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    It was incredibly rude, I agree. But, just to grant a bit of perspective... Was this person a foreigner? I was born & raised in America, but have been around plenty of them. In many other countries, it's not really considered rude to say things like that. A lot of remarks that would leave you gobsmacked here are actually voiced in quite the cavalier manner in other parts of the world. Korea being just one of them. It's possible that he didn't mean to get under your friend's skin as badly as he did.

    Good point. Many years ago, I used to stop at this particular gas station on my way home from work. There was a guy there who clearly had a crush on me and not the best English. One time I bought a six pack of beer from him and that was his opening. From that day forward, every time I stopped in to buy anything he would say "no beer?" EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I don't think he ever realized how embarrassing it was!

    There's also the huge HUGE possibility that he was not neuro-typical.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    I got a lot more than 20 to go. And i didn't get fat by eating fruit, i gained all the weight when i was eating meat and dairy. I don't gain weight when i'm eating massive amounts of fruit, i lose it, just like everyone else who tries eating a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    that's funny- because I lost weight eating a high fat high protein diet - full of meat and dairy.
    You can lose weight that way, but that's not a sustainable healthy diet.

    You can lose weight, AND reverse heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune conditions and improve energy levels, improve cognitive ability, live longer, etc on a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    I have tried both. I have lost weight with both. But fruit and vegetable based diets are FAR, FAR healthier!

    Not trying to knock what's working for you, but a ton of people have reversed all those conditions on a LCHF way of eating; there is a plethora of information available if you're willing to look. And it's about as sustainable in the long run as veganism is for most.

    This is the problem that too many 80/10/10ers, raw vegans, fruitarians, etc, often have; a self righteous attitude that turns many people completely off. You know the old adage about catching more bees with honey?

    Oh wait, you people don't eat honey.
  • Rocbola
    Rocbola Posts: 1,998 Member
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    ^Says they are not trying to knock me. Calls me "you people".
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    Jeez. I kinda want to buy Preparation H, Vagisil and condoms every time I go shopping even though I don't use them just to make them feel awkward enough to keep their traps shut for once.

    But then this could happen to you:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kOewRGhtx8
    Looks like I need to go back and rewatch The Golden Girls! I've always loved Betty White; she's frickin' amazing, but Bea Arthur was great too! Is anybody else a little concerned that the Nestle Crunch was right next to the enema bags? Not so keen for those Twists and Flakes anymore, are ya? :wink:
  • judyde
    judyde Posts: 401 Member
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    I worked at a gas station when i was younger. It's actually a really sad job, because you spend the whole day serving addicts. The guy who could barely hand me money cause he was shaking so bad coming in to buy his 4th coffee of the day. The lady hacking out her lungs asking for a carton of Marlboro. The fat people coming in and buying big bags of candy and soda.

    I'm not saying this was a good thing to say, but i can see where this guy is coming from. Most people buying candy bars are fat, and they start off as skinny young people.

    I have no words. None. Just... wow.
    I counted 7.

    Your verbal diarrhea is not helping your case. Just stop.

    Dee - this is what the "Ignore User" button is for. :-)
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    I got a lot more than 20 to go. And i didn't get fat by eating fruit, i gained all the weight when i was eating meat and dairy. I don't gain weight when i'm eating massive amounts of fruit, i lose it, just like everyone else who tries eating a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    that's funny- because I lost weight eating a high fat high protein diet - full of meat and dairy.
    You can lose weight that way, but that's not a sustainable healthy diet.

    You can lose weight, AND reverse heart disease, diabetes, autoimmune conditions and improve energy levels, improve cognitive ability, live longer, etc on a fruit and vegetable based diet.

    I have tried both. I have lost weight with both. But fruit and vegetable based diets are FAR, FAR healthier!

    Not trying to knock what's working for you, but a ton of people have reversed all those conditions on a LCHF way of eating; there is a plethora of information available if you're willing to look. And it's about as sustainable in the long run as veganism is for most.

    This is the problem that too many 80/10/10ers, raw vegans, fruitarians, etc, often have; a self righteous attitude that turns many people completely off. You know the old adage about catching more bees with honey?

    Oh wait, you people don't eat honey.
    Hahahaha, it's "*flies* with honey", not bees! Bees are what make the honey. Why would you want to attract bees, if you already have honey? Then again, why would you want to attract flies...? I love language!
  • Watermelon398
    Watermelon398 Posts: 37 Member
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    "Are you trying to get fat?"

    "Yeah, I want to look just like your Mom."

    Ohhhh!
  • WakkoW
    WakkoW Posts: 567 Member
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    ^Says they are not trying to knock me. Calls me "you people".

    Not true. She said she didn't want to knock what was working for you.

    She is very clear on what she thinks of you though.
  • chard_muncher
    chard_muncher Posts: 75 Member
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    This thread answers one of the great mysteries of the universe: Who is more obnoxious? A cashier that asks, "Are you trying to get fat?" or the IIFYM crowd at MFP?

    I predict that the responses to this comment will only add to the body of research.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    This thread answers one of the great mysteries of the universe: Who is more obnoxious? A cashier that asks, "Are you trying to get fat?" or the IIFYM crowd at MFP?

    I predict that the responses to this comment will only add to the body of research.
    What in the world does IIFYM have to do with this?
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    This thread answers one of the great mysteries of the universe: Who is more obnoxious? A cashier that asks, "Are you trying to get fat?" or the IIFYM crowd at MFP?

    I predict that the responses to this comment will only add to the body of research.

    LOLwhat?

    Would love to hear your obviously unbiased opinions on the topic.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    It's interesting to be the fly on the wall in these forums. My observation up to this point (not that anyone cares, but it is a forum). Judging the reactions that Ive seen, never say anything to a woman about: a) what she's eating, b) her weight. Also IMHO, sugar can be as addictive to some people as caffeine or nicoteine.

    And heroine. Don't forget that sugar is as addicting as heroine
  • WakkoW
    WakkoW Posts: 567 Member
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    It's interesting to be the fly on the wall in these forums. My observation up to this point (not that anyone cares, but it is a forum). Judging the reactions that Ive seen, never say anything to a woman about: a) what she's eating, b) her weight. Also IMHO, sugar can be as addictive to some people as caffeine or nicoteine.

    And heroine. Don't forget that sugar is as addicting as heroine

    LOL.

    Heroines are addicting.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    maybe he was joking/flirting/being friendly and it came out or was taken the wrong way by your friend?

    I feel like this line of thought is rooted somewhere in sexism. It's not okay for boys to bully girls because they *like* them. You should treat people you like or are interested in better, not worse. Being flustered is one thing, but I can't imagine someone saying this if it wasn't really their opinion. It's rude and hurtful, and she is not overreacting by being upset by it...
    It's only hurtful if the person is irrationally oversensitive about their weight or eating habits.

    Judging by the responses to this post, MOST people agree that the statement is rude. You're obviously very ignorant to the experience of anyone who struggles with body-confidence, especially women. We get criticized on every detail of our appearances throughout our lives and see so-called "perfect celebrities" getting torn down from any deviation from their top forms. There are a lot of messages telling people in general, and women in particular, that they should hate their bodies.

    It's a miracle that there are women who are confident in their bodies at all.

    I was made fun of for my weight since I was a kid. If someone said that to me in a store, I'd be pissed, and yes it would be a hurtful comment. It would trigger unpleasant memories. The point is, people should keep their opinions of strangers to themselves because you have NO IDEA what that person has been through or how they might react to such a thoughtless comment.

    As for the fail at flirting bit... don't try to "flirt" by insulting people. It makes the person insulting, sound like they are seeking out a person to emotionally abuse.

    When I go to the convenience store, I'm not looking for judgement on my eating habits, so the clerks can keep it to themselves.
    It's not an insult, it's a question that you and others chose to interpret as an insult by projecting what you imagined was in the mind of someone you never even met, and based this on a biased story told by the OP. And then you accused that person of not understanding that someone else might see it differently.

    It's really sad that everyone thinks the one way they chose to take that statement is somehow the only way and anyone who sees a different circumstance behind it must be at fault for not being the same.

    Perhaps you're ignorant of the fact that not everyone else thinks every statement is some sort of evaluation of your worth as a human being.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    Sometimes I wonder whether certain "people" walking around are actually even human. I've just heard from a tiny size 8 friend that she went to the petrol station this morning, decided to get a Twirl chocolate bar and the guy behind the counter said to her "are you trying to get fat?"

    ...how is this in ANY WAY ACCEPTABLE!?!!!?!!!

    Makes me so so mad. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT PEOPLE ARE EATING OR NOT EATING!

    Rant over.
    I think it is my business, but only because I've never heard of Twirl bars. Are they good?

    Yup. Made by Cadbury, kind of like Flakes, but coated in chocolate so not as messy to eat.

    Okay, now whats a "Flakes"?

    Thanks for asking! Now I don't feel like I've been living under a rock. :)

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