Super skinny boyfriend comments on my weight ALL THE TIME

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  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    Well...we only know what we have been told.
    He should try to motivate you by working out together or do other physical activity indoor or outdoor like hiking biking etc..
    If NOT, you have a Big decision to make because you seems like you were doing fine before he came along :) Just saying
    He should do a lot of things, but lazy mooching douchecanoe seems to be his particular idiom. (ETA: people don't usually make things up like "comes over, eats us out of house and home, and leaves" or "pouts like a titty-baby when someone else wants their fair share" and even if we're only hearing one side of the story, there's no excuse for the things he's saying to her, no matter how she behaves back. She may have things to fix about herself, true, but that's on her. She can't fix the things that he needs to fix about himself, so if he's not willing to, shipping him off is the only reasonable response.)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Well...we only know what we have been told.
    He should try to motivate you by working out together or do other physical activity indoor or outdoor like hiking biking etc..
    If NOT, you have a Big decision to make because you seems like you were doing fine before he came along :) Just saying

    I don't necessarily agree. Being supportive doesn't mean he has to motivate her. She needs to do that for herself.

    He really should just stop being a lazy self absorbed and rude mooch.
    She may have things to fix about herself, true, but that's on her. She can't fix the things that he needs to fix about himself, so if he's not willing to, shipping him off is the only reasonable response.)

    indeed. 100% and then some agree.
  • kuolo
    kuolo Posts: 251 Member
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    Umm do you think it's possible he may have an ED?
    Underweight, binges, skint, eats the cupboards bare, obsessive about food and weight...
    Just a thought. Sometimes people behave inappropriately because they are struggling themselves.
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    Well...we only know what we have been told.
    He should try to motivate you by working out together or do other physical activity indoor or outdoor like hiking biking etc..
    If NOT, you have a Big decision to make because you seems like you were doing fine before he came along :) Just saying

    I don't necessarily agree. Being supportive doesn't mean he has to motivate her. She needs to do that for herself.

    He really should just stop being a lazy self absorbed and rude mooch.
    She may have things to fix about herself, true, but that's on her. She can't fix the things that he needs to fix about himself, so if he's not willing to, shipping him off is the only reasonable response.)

    indeed. 100% and then some agree.


    He sounds like he has a drug problem. But that's just my opinion.

    First what I'm gonna say has nothing to do with drug addiction. I'm just using it as an example for the paragraph below. As a 12-stepper (ex pot smoker, coke blower and sometimes drinker) who goes to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, in N/A we have a saying...."you can carry the message but you can't carry the addict."

    I'm quoting that because I hear among sharing addicts (ad nauseam) is how "this and this person doesn't support me" and honestly, it's not anyone else's job to support us in our search for recovery. We are looking to make a change in our lives, we are responsible.

    As for your "weight" issue, your boyfriend doesn't have to support you in your weight loss. It doesn't seem like he even supports himself but that's another issue. I don't think the weight is your problem. I think your relationship is your problem and also what you allow this guy to get away with. We act and attract what we feel. You are in control of what you allow to happen in your life and how people treat you.

    This douche you call a boyfriend has got to go. We know it and you know it and it's only a matter of time until you get sick of it enough to end it.
  • WorkInProgress323
    WorkInProgress323 Posts: 114
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    At 5'4, whether you're 115 or 135, you are at a perfect weight.

    Women are built differently than men, maybe you should teach him some stuff, oh and, stop buying him food!!! I can't stand men who mooch. Make him pay you!!

    You'll learn, hopefully sooner than later :wink:
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
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    You need to lose about 120 pounds. Everyone before me who said Love Yourself and move on with your life was right! AND i'm 5'3 and there is not way you were chubby at 115.... If i was 115 my family would be calling an intervention... it sounds like you need an intervention of your own. Please love yourself and do what is good for you!

    Ditto!
  • thatATLgirl
    thatATLgirl Posts: 60 Member
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    Focus on YOU and what YOU need to eat. What an *kitten*.
  • survivor1952
    survivor1952 Posts: 250 Member
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    This is not a healthy relationship. RUN! I have read through all of the replies and everyone here is basically saying you are selling yourself short by staying in this toxic relationship. A relationship should be based on mutual respect & he clearly has none. Not only is he insulting to you and damaging your self esteem but he is a freeloader. Get rid of him. YOU CAN DO MUCH, MUCH BETTER.
  • Flossiesdoll
    Flossiesdoll Posts: 48
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    Talk to him. Tell him his comments are hurtful, rude and annoying. Tell him you can't afford to feed him if he doesn't pay his half. Tell him you won't feed him any longer unless he pays for his share. Tell him that if he makes hurtful remarks to you, he has to leave. And stick to it. If he loves you, and he's really a decent person, he'll change his ways. If he doesn't, then you know that you're with a man who KNOWS he's hurting you and damaging you financially but doesn't want to stop. Do you want to be the woman who chooses to stay with a man who is deliberately abusing her?

    People treat us the way we let them treat us.
  • cakebatter07
    cakebatter07 Posts: 814 Member
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    He sounds like a jerk. Why would you even want to be in a relationship with someone like that? There are much nicer guys out there, trust me. :)
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
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    Sounds like an asshat. You deserve better than that. You know for yourself as well that he's no good for you by what you've said yourself.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Are you sure he has diabetes and not huevonitis?
  • ricki011
    ricki011 Posts: 89 Member
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    It will get worse! Leave now, and don't look back!
  • sammiestrange
    sammiestrange Posts: 5
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    What an abusive loser. SERIOUSLY? Ditch the *kitten* and find yourself a REAL man.
  • RaggedyAnnazon
    RaggedyAnnazon Posts: 183 Member
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    I didn't even finish reading that, I got to the part where you'll eat everything just so he won't and just couldn't read anymore.

    A few things:
    1. and this is in caps because it's very important to you're health, mind and life: THIS IS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP YOU ARE IN, AND YOU NEED TO GET OUT. This man is using you, mistreating you and doesn't care. He is a leech. I've known people like that and it never ends well. One I know is 28, still jobless, not alowed to see his kid and crashes on anyones couch. The second has gotten enormously fat (like this Violet the blueberry in Willie Wonka) and his wife is so thin a feather could break her in half because he eats all the food and wont let her eat, but she's the one working.

    You have to - I repeat - have to- get out of this relationship at all costs. If you don't believe me, this is something I heard once before for cant recall where from.

    Leave yourself a voicemail of whats going on, then play it back to yourself as if it's a friend calling you looking for help or advice.
    What would you think about that friends situation? Retake a look at this post you made, and pretend you didn't write it, pretend someone else on MFP did (I'll even repost with it if that'll help) and look at the situation again.

    I say this with a lot of compassion - you have to get rid of him.

    2. Idk where you live, but jobs are becoming a bit easier, and even then, food stamps and food boxes are offered to a lot of people. Whatever his issue is, he needs to handle it.

    3rdly: You can lose weight almost instantly, by dropping his 90lb sorry *kitten* and living you're life as the sexy, strong and independant woman you are. Eat you're own **cking food and own those streachy shorts. Because you're beautiful and you desurve better.

    *side note: to help read "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrant, very helpful
  • RaggedyAnnazon
    RaggedyAnnazon Posts: 183 Member
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    Talk to him. Tell him his comments are hurtful, rude and annoying. Tell him you can't afford to feed him if he doesn't pay his half. Tell him you won't feed him any longer unless he pays for his share. Tell him that if he makes hurtful remarks to you, he has to leave. And stick to it. If he loves you, and he's really a decent person, he'll change his ways. If he doesn't, then you know that you're with a man who KNOWS he's hurting you and damaging you financially but doesn't want to stop. Do you want to be the woman who chooses to stay with a man who is deliberately abusing her?

    People treat us the way we let them treat us.

    Although you're advice would be helpful if this were a new realationship, it's pointless with this one. She's been seeing him for years, if he hasn't noticed his own actions and hurtful remarks and changed himself, he never will.
  • MystikPixie
    MystikPixie Posts: 342 Member
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    You already know what to do, get rid of him.
  • Beezil
    Beezil Posts: 1,677 Member
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    He's either really stupid or really cruel, but I think it's more likely that he's just really stupid and has no clue how to appropriately communicate to you that he's got a problem with you putting on weight. Educate him or break up with him, either way you obviously shouldn't continue such an unhealthy relationship.

    My husband is "super skinny" at about 5'10 and 120lbs soaking wet. I have tracked calories for him before when he was trying to put on weight after a hospital stay, and he actually doesn't eat nearly as much as he should, although it seems like he eats a ton sometimes. Interestingly, there is a common misconception that skinny people can eat whatever they want because they are naturally skinny - when in fact, they may have a higher metabolism by genetics, sure, but it is also likely they don't eat nearly as much as people think. Husband should eat around 3000-3500 calories to gain weight, can barely hit 2000 most days. It is a struggle for a lot of people and it's scary sometimes...

    Anyways, good luck to you. Just talk to your bf... tell him everything you've told the people on this forum.
  • RaggedyAnnazon
    RaggedyAnnazon Posts: 183 Member
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    Another think I forgot to mention, this was actually my #2:

    I'm currently doing research on Anorexia for a college assignment. Just from interviews, I can positivly tell you what this.......guy, is doing is setting your mind up to be anorexic. All it takes and can start out as is you thinking you're fighting your boyfriend on this, but once he's gone, you'll still be fighting something. Suddenly you'll start to develop anorexia, and that's a scary thought to think you're letting one scrawny diabetic set you up for a full blown psycosis.
  • harley97ya
    harley97ya Posts: 11
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    I'm sure you knew when you posted this that everyone was going to tell you to break up with your boyfriend. Like any other food that you can't resist, he is toxic to, not only your weight goals, but also to your life goals. If you stay with this person and have kids, you will be teaching your future son how to treat women and/or your future daughter what to put up with from men.

    Fight for YOURSELF in your weight goals and life goals. Remember, dating is sort of like a job interview for life. If you're being put down by this guy now, imagine what he will say after you've had a child and your body has really changed.

    I'm supporting YOU. Have a great day for you!!

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