We are pleased to announce that on March 4, 2025, an updated Rich Text Editor will be introduced in the MyFitnessPal Community. To learn more about the upcoming changes, please click here. We look forward to sharing this new feature with you!

I need a new husband

245

Replies

  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)
    your pretty you will have no problem finding a new one

    :blushing:
  • MityMax96
    MityMax96 Posts: 5,778 Member
    :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Keep up the hard work.
    You are doing fine.
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)

    But.... But.... Wifey WHYYYYY????? hahaha :flowerforyou:
  • christi_03
    christi_03 Posts: 56 Member
    It's okay, OP
    Next time he attempts to initiate sexy time, belittle his efforts :) Remind him that he's not quite equipped with the appropriate hardware to get the job done without glitches.


    OMG!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!
  • TheMrsCole
    TheMrsCole Posts: 114 Member
    I do believe this post made me LOL. Sign me up for a new one too!
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.
  • danyvaone
    danyvaone Posts: 53
    you need a new one ...cuz the old one seem to be off :smokin:
  • warriorprincessdi
    warriorprincessdi Posts: 617 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    If you need a place to sit, we have a guy for that here


    LOL... I know I had seen his thread earlier!
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Old one has been buggy since the day I got him. Constantly spits out errors, never works right when I want him to, gets worse with every update...

    Specifically tonight he belittled my weight loss efforts in front of his entire family, and no one said a word.

    Can I get an upgrade?

    (Okay trolls, have fun. I really need the laugh tonight.)

    But.... But.... Wifey WHYYYYY????? hahaha :flowerforyou:

    I said husband, not wife! My wife is perfect ;)
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    I do believe this post made me LOL. Sign me up for a new one too!

    Watch out for those 2 year contracts!
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements. I suppose I should have thrown my hat into the ring too just because you have a penis. :p
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha

    No joke there.....Zep fandom is a must! And boobs. And bacon. Anything else is irrelevant. :bigsmile:
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements.

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Have you heard of the mechanical boyfriend? I hear it doesn't talk back, never tells you no, and you can take batteries out at anytime.

    They generally lack good conversation ;)

    Sounds like you have the same problem with your current model.
  • BillRicks1
    BillRicks1 Posts: 473 Member
    kytte, You live pretty close and I travel through Cary on a regular basis. Maybe me and "the boys" should pay a visit to said husband and explain some of life's mysteries ! Then you can reuse, recycle or just upgrade to husband 2.0!
  • madhatter2013
    madhatter2013 Posts: 1,547 Member
    Ad_HusbandTraining.jpg
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?



    Pssh, I thought we weren't to joke about such things? hahaha

    No joke there.....Zep fandom is a must! And boobs. And bacon. Anything else is irrelevant. :bigsmile:

    gallery_99130_34859_17327142394c2eef175323c.jpeg
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    kytte, You live pretty close and I travel through Cary on a regular basis. Maybe me and "the boys" should pay a visit to said husband and explain some of life's mysteries ! Then you can reuse, recycle or just upgrade to husband 2.0!

    Believe me I'm perfectly capable of snapping him like a twig. It's not that I don't want to, it's that he doesn't have good life insurance.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    First things first. Do you like Led Zeppelin? Do you get ingrown hairs when you shave? DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    Yes I do like Led Zeppelin. With a close shave, yes, with the grain, no. I lifted all the ingredients to make you a sandwich.

    So many red flags there, but you have boobs, so I'll throw my hat into the ring.

    I never applied to be your new wife because other than Led Zeppelin I didn't meet your requirements.

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
    Saw this on FB this morning.....

    http://themetapicture.com/wife-complains-about-husband-hilarity-ensues/
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Ad_HusbandTraining.jpg

    You can't fix this one.
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    Saw this on FB this morning.....

    http://themetapicture.com/wife-complains-about-husband-hilarity-ensues/

    I was the tech support who wrote that based on experience.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.

    You're in it now. Leave me and I'll take everything.
  • siport
    siport Posts: 7,429 Member
    where do i apply?
  • BigBellyGoAway
    BigBellyGoAway Posts: 781 Member

    FINE! Give me my hat back.

    *stomps away*

    NEVER! It's MY hat now!

    I knew I should have stayed out of this thread. Now I have to go buy a new hat.

    You're in it now. Leave me and I'll take everything.

    If by 'everything', you're including the cats, I'm okay with that. :laugh:
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
    where do i apply?

    ::lowers glasses:: Step into my office...
This discussion has been closed.

Categories