Fat Positivity?
Replies
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I'm entitled to love myself despite the fact that I may never be perfectly thin. I'm allowed to love myself WITH my fat, rather than "in spite" of it. That will never be anyone's business but my own.
And anyway, being fat will never make anyone any less of a person. Being unhealthy (and these things should always be considered separately) will never make anyone any less of a person. What does make you more/less better/worse is how you treat people.
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.0 -
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.
Now, that's just tone policing.
Conveniently enough, it's also not true.
I actually run a body positive blog (I can link it here, if anyone's interested) and I promise that it's never been used to perpetuate "thin hate" or whatever it is that people are supposedly worried about. I can't say that no-one has ever just out and out hated on thin people, but I /can/ say that's not what this movement is about.
That said, who wouldn't be angry? Who wouldn't yell? People (thin ones in particular) have been telling me my whole life "Sweetie you'd look /so good/ if you just dropped, you know, 15-20lbs." They've told me I'm not allowed to wear what I want. (Should you really wear those shorts?) They've told me I'm not allowed to eat what I want. (Maybe you should, you know, skip the bread. All those calories...) They've called me names. (Cow. Fat slut.)
We can't all be Ghandi. Sometimes, it takes anger to make things happen. The goal of fat positive and body positive bloggers is to create safe spaces online for people who have body types that don't fit mainstream beauty ideals. That means people of color, people who are fat, people with disabilities, trans* individuals, etc. These spaces NEED to exist. People need places to learn to love themselves. Society won't be providing them. There's too much money in making people hate themselves. (Too fat? Too ugly? Buy OUR product and we can make you acceptable) Because of that, we have to create them for ourselves.
And actually, people do have a problem with fat people loving themselves. I hear all kinds of horrible comments all day long about how so-and-so really needs to drop some confidence because she's "way too fat" to be as pretty as she thinks she is, or whatever. I've seen it make people genuinely angry. Hell, it used to make /me/ angry, once. When I was, y'know, in the middle of my ed.
The reason for that anger is because it's threatening. It's scary to see someone who's the embodiment of what you've been taught to believe is unloveable loving themselves. It's scary because someone isn't suffering the same fear of fat that you are. It feels unfair that they get to love themselves when you work SO HARD to be the "right" kind of body, and still have trouble.0 -
I'm entitled to love myself despite the fact that I may never be perfectly thin. I'm allowed to love myself WITH my fat, rather than "in spite" of it. That will never be anyone's business but my own.
And anyway, being fat will never make anyone any less of a person. Being unhealthy (and these things should always be considered separately) will never make anyone any less of a person. What does make you more/less better/worse is how you treat people.
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.
That is not the message that the majority of fat acceptance bloggers care to advocate. There are a couple people on this thread that have already said they don't like body shaming of any kind, and I'm one more.
I also don't know of "fatspo" existing as a positive thing. I only saw it as friends' Tumblr pics reblogged by anorexic communities as what not to be. No one should be told what not to be if they're not harming anyone (even if that person is harming themselves *in your opinion*).0 -
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.
Now, that's just tone policing.
Conveniently enough, it's also not true.
I actually run a body positive blog (I can link it here, if anyone's interested) and I promise that it's never been used to perpetuate "thin hate" or whatever it is that people are supposedly worried about. I can't say that no-one has ever just out and out hated on thin people, but I /can/ say that's not what this movement is about.
That said, who wouldn't be angry? Who wouldn't yell? People (thin ones in particular) have been telling me my whole life "Sweetie you'd look /so good/ if you just dropped, you know, 15-20lbs." They've told me I'm not allowed to wear what I want. (Should you really wear those shorts?) They've told me I'm not allowed to eat what I want. (Maybe you should, you know, skip the bread. All those calories...) They've called me names. (Cow. Fat slut.)
We can't all be Ghandi. Sometimes, it takes anger to make things happen. The goal of fat positive and body positive bloggers is to create safe spaces online for people who have body types that don't fit mainstream beauty ideals. That means people of color, people who are fat, people with disabilities, trans* individuals, etc. These spaces NEED to exist. People need places to learn to love themselves. Society won't be providing them. There's too much money in making people hate themselves. (Too fat? Too ugly? Buy OUR product and we can make you acceptable) Because of that, we have to create them for ourselves.
And actually, people do have a problem with fat people loving themselves. I hear all kinds of horrible comments all day long about how so-and-so really needs to drop some confidence because she's "way too fat" to be as pretty as she thinks she is, or whatever. I've seen it make people genuinely angry. Hell, it used to make /me/ angry, once. When I was, y'know, in the middle of my ed.
The reason for that anger is because it's threatening. It's scary to see someone who's the embodiment of what you've been taught to believe is unloveable loving themselves. It's scary because someone isn't suffering the same fear of fat that you are. It feels unfair that they get to love themselves when you work SO HARD to be the "right" kind of body, and still have trouble.
QFE!!!!!!!0 -
This whole "being fat and happy is ok, you can't be happy with your fat" thing is a load of bs. Who are ya'll to tell people how to feel about their bodies and their fat just because you didn't like being fat? How is any of it even your business? The bottom line is, people shouldn't HAVE to lose weight to be treated like a human being, which is essentially what a lot of people on this thread are saying. "Their problems could be solved by losing weight" ... so these people who are happy with their bodies should lose weight so people will respect them and treat them with some dignity? That's the biggest load of body-shaming health bs I've ever heard. It's not your business if someone loves being fat or doesn't care about losing weight, stop projecting your socially constructed self-hatred of fatness onto the people who enjoy being fat and don't see it as a struggle. But it's unhealthy you'll say... So? Focus on your own health, if someone has cancer (not that being fat is like cancer but follow me here) will you give them *kitten* for not wanting to get chemo or surgery? They've come to terms with what it is and they reserve the right to make their own health decisions without ya'll slamming them for not wanting to be like you. For some reason, people who lose a lot of weight think they're above people who are still heavy... This complex has got to go, stop focusing on people who are able to happy in a place you were miserable and deal with yourself.0
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I don't agree with the fat bashing, but the recent "fat girl dancing" video with Whitney Thorpe and the explosion of the "No Body Shame Campaign" is absolutely what sprung me into action. I had been ignoring my slowly creeping up weight over the past few years and was slapped in the face a few months ago when I realized I was a pu$$y hair away from 200.
Someone said it earlier fat and happy- fine, but happy with fat, no.
Yes, everyone should love themselves for who they are, not their weight, their pant size, their waist measurement, but not viewing obesity as something that needs to be addressed is foolish. When I made a list of my problems, both physical and mental- many of them are going to be solved by losing weight. The financial issues will be *enhanced* by losing weight- because everyone knows that a fat person couldn't possibly be competent (sarcastically- but yes- thin over fat gets the job is the ugly truth)0 -
For me, the fat acceptance blogs were instrumental in motivating me to take better care of myself. I felt paralyzed with negative feelings about my body and learning acceptance prompted me to take steps towards eating better and getting more exercise. I'm grateful for the message that we're all worthy of good health, regardless of the size of our bodies.0
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Body discrimination of any kind is wrong. Very slender people get discriminated against, and overweight people do, too. Even muscular people get hate.
It's always wrong. It's always mean. It's never acceptable.0 -
I think it started as a backlash against the disdain/mockery/dislike/discrimination fat people routinely face and it evolved from there. In principle I agree with the message. But trying to justify it on health grounds has gone beyond self-acceptance and into outright denial.
This! OMG I love your profile pic..0 -
The whole fat acceptance trend is one of my favorite rants.
What Abnersama said... it's okay to be fat and happy but not happy with your fat.
It just ain't healthy, people.
THIS^^^
I'm fat, but I'm happy with who I am/relationships/etc... I'm just not happy THAT I'm fat, but that's why I'm doing something about it.
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Obviously if people are happy the way they are then good on them, I'm not happy being obese that's why I'm here and actively sorting it out. The problem is tumblr is a very toxic environment and has people justifying all kinds of things and actively discriminating against those who do not fit in to the narrow demographics they represent.
Once again I will reiterate: if they are genuinely happy then good for them, if they are going full blown self defensive then they will only kid themselves.0 -
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.
Now, that's just tone policing.
Conveniently enough, it's also not true.
I actually run a body positive blog (I can link it here, if anyone's interested) and I promise that it's never been used to perpetuate "thin hate" or whatever it is that people are supposedly worried about. I can't say that no-one has ever just out and out hated on thin people, but I /can/ say that's not what this movement is about.
That said, who wouldn't be angry? Who wouldn't yell? People (thin ones in particular) have been telling me my whole life "Sweetie you'd look /so good/ if you just dropped, you know, 15-20lbs." They've told me I'm not allowed to wear what I want. (Should you really wear those shorts?) They've told me I'm not allowed to eat what I want. (Maybe you should, you know, skip the bread. All those calories...) They've called me names. (Cow. Fat slut.)
We can't all be Ghandi. Sometimes, it takes anger to make things happen. The goal of fat positive and body positive bloggers is to create safe spaces online for people who have body types that don't fit mainstream beauty ideals. That means people of color, people who are fat, people with disabilities, trans* individuals, etc. These spaces NEED to exist. People need places to learn to love themselves. Society won't be providing them. There's too much money in making people hate themselves. (Too fat? Too ugly? Buy OUR product and we can make you acceptable) Because of that, we have to create them for ourselves.
And actually, people do have a problem with fat people loving themselves. I hear all kinds of horrible comments all day long about how so-and-so really needs to drop some confidence because she's "way too fat" to be as pretty as she thinks she is, or whatever. I've seen it make people genuinely angry. Hell, it used to make /me/ angry, once. When I was, y'know, in the middle of my ed.
The reason for that anger is because it's threatening. It's scary to see someone who's the embodiment of what you've been taught to believe is unloveable loving themselves. It's scary because someone isn't suffering the same fear of fat that you are. It feels unfair that they get to love themselves when you work SO HARD to be the "right" kind of body, and still have trouble.
that response was perfect omfg0 -
I don't agree with bashing people of ANY body type. When you're fat, especially VERY fat, you face loads of discrimination. Those types of problems shouldn't be fixed by losing weight, they should be fixed by changing society so we're not seeing fat people as not being worthy of respect. True story: as a fat child, a teacher made fun of me in front of the whole class. Everyone laughed. That was not MY problem, no matter how old I was. So even if someone makes a concious choice to be fat, they still deserve the same respect as anyone else.
On the negative side, I do think the fat positivity movement can make it harder for people to have a realistic view of their own health, which is something everyone should have, regardless of size. I also think it can make people targets for potentially abusive, feeder/feedee relationships.
Love this! I have certifications, degrees, awards and I am still mainly judged by my size, not my accomplishments. It's a bigger accomplishment in my family to lose weight than almost anything else. This is how it is. People shouldn't be judged period but it is our society.
With that being said, I'm all for loving yourself and having a positive self image. I know what happens when you don't. But personally, I'm not loving myself when I'm treating it horribly and not striving to make changes and be healthy in all ways, not just physically. I am fat. There is no way around that. But it's okay, because tomorrow I won't be as fat as I am today. You can love yourself/your body and still believe that you need to improve it!
EDIT to add: Above is MY PERSONAL thoughts about myself. Everyone is on their own journey and I want to be a person that doesn't judge. Being judged so often for my own weight, I for sure think I'm successful looking past it in others.0 -
After dealing with extremely frustrating and scary health problems because of how much I had weighed (I thought I wasn't going to live long much longer if I didn't kick into gear) I cannot say I could see how anyone would want to be in a body that is holding them back from doing so many awesome things. The fact that for the first time since I was a kid I will be in shape to jog without my weight heaving with me at every step is just fantastic.
I am trying to help my mother lose some weight herself because she started having issues with her legs. It took forever and her doctor telling her that the scars on her legs will be permanent, but it will stop getting worse if she loses the weight.
It's fine to be happy and fat, but I don't think people should be happy with their fat. I know I wasn't, so I wanted to get rid of it. I'm sure everyone could use a bit of a push, but some people will just flat out not listen to any reason. Why? I wish I knew.
This, too! I made a list of everything I was unhappy about, and almost everything was related to weight (directly or indirectly) I know my confidence shouldn't hinge on my weight, but it's a hell of a lot easier to change myself that change" society" in general. ALl the things I could no longer do- rollerblading, skiing, running- all the things I can't / won't learn bc of the weight- longboarding, tennis, backpacking. Don't forget the htn and the pre-diabetes....So yeah- FOR ME the answer was to lose weight, not to love myself even more and tell myself "I'm Fine"!!
and when I hear someone with a BMI over 30 say they're healthy- smh!!0 -
Love this! I have certifications, degrees, awards and I am still mainly judged by my size, not my accomplishments.
I agree with this. Not that anyone at work has really mentioned my weight that much, I feel like all of my achievements are for nothing because they were done by a big fat lump. Sounds stupid but it's hard to feel otherwise.0 -
The fat acceptance movement is fine in my opinion until they start using the term "glorify obesity". That's when you've lost me.0
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My body is like a brand new Ferrari 458. I absolutely love it and I need to take care of it. My "Ferrari" has to last me until I die. I don't want my "Ferrari" to turn into a "1971 Ford Pinto" by the time I am 45.
What's wrong with a '71 Pinto?0 -
Fat poses so many health risks and people who claim to be happy how they are make me ANGRY!!!!! It's nothing to do with looks it's about your health! You will live a far more fulfilling life at a healthy weight.
You won't require a seatbelt extension on the plane. You won't be too big for the rides at the theme park. You can shop in normal stores. You have energy and good health. How much happier would you be?!!!0 -
Love this! I have certifications, degrees, awards and I am still mainly judged by my size, not my accomplishments.
I agree with this. Not that anyone at work has really mentioned my weight that much, I feel like all of my achievements are for nothing because they were done by a big fat lump. Sounds stupid but it's hard to feel otherwise.
Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I am of mine. I work very hard. I just wish people would see others as a whole, not just the size of their bodies!0 -
We need to stop labeling people as FAT. We ALL have fat. One of my 4 year olds (I have twins) asked me if I was fat. I said "well I have fat, more than you, and some people have more than me and some people have less then me. I'm trying to have less fat so I can play with you better."0
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I think people should stop pretending to be experts on other people lives.0
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Fat poses so many health risks and people who claim to be happy how they are make me ANGRY!!!!! It's nothing to do with looks it's about your health! You will live a far more fulfilling life at a healthy weight.
You won't require a seatbelt extension on the plane. You won't be too big for the rides at the theme park. You can shop in normal stores. You have energy and good health. How much happier would you be?!!!
I'm pretty happy with a pretty fulfilling life, and I still require a seat belt extension on a plane.... You can be happy AND have lots of fat, but I just happen to be working on being healthier at the moment. I'm not going to be miserable in the mean time... ^^just saying.0 -
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I think people should stop pretending to be experts on other people lives.
^This 100%
Live and let live and worry about yourself. I know b**** right here. 0 -
Fat poses so many health risks and people who claim to be happy how they are make me ANGRY!!!!! It's nothing to do with looks it's about your health! You will live a far more fulfilling life at a healthy weight.
You won't require a seatbelt extension on the plane. You won't be too big for the rides at the theme park. You can shop in normal stores. You have energy and good health. How much happier would you be?!!!
soooo someone loving & accepting themselves makes you angry?? that is really sad and you need to maybe rethink the whole projecting your own self hate on to others thing
concern trolling taken to a whole new level right there0 -
It reminds me of the "Meat is for the man, bones are for the dog" saying. People who are overweight do not want things said about them that could hurt their feelings but assume that because someone is thin, they have no reason to be offended. The thin bashing is the same as fat shaming and they should all be ashamed of themselves.
Damn Planet Fitness.0 -
Fat poses so many health risks and people who claim to be happy how they are make me ANGRY!!!!! It's nothing to do with looks it's about your health! You will live a far more fulfilling life at a healthy weight.
You won't require a seatbelt extension on the plane. You won't be too big for the rides at the theme park. You can shop in normal stores. You have energy and good health. How much happier would you be?!!!
It does. I agree that being overweight or obese causes many many health issues. But I think the issue is that people feeling they have the right to judge other people because of their weight. I mean I know that smoking cigarettes poses a horrible health threat, but I don't think anything about it when I see someone smoking. I am much happier now that I no longer smoke, and I think others would be too. But it's not my place to tell them that.0 -
The people who have issues with this "movement" don't have a problem with people being happy with their bodies. The problem is when people inside the group begin discriminating against those outside the group, in this case, thin or average people being called out and bashed online and in real life. I have witnessed this happening.
I'm all for body love, whatever, but I don't think the example these "Tumblr fatspo bloggers" is in any way helpful for their cause. When was the last time you listened to or learned something positive from a man screaming on the street? I see no difference between this and ranting, disgruntled bloggers, who attack others with words. They need to figure out the right way to deliver their message without being so hateful and angry.
Now, that's just tone policing.
Conveniently enough, it's also not true.
I actually run a body positive blog (I can link it here, if anyone's interested) and I promise that it's never been used to perpetuate "thin hate" or whatever it is that people are supposedly worried about. I can't say that no-one has ever just out and out hated on thin people, but I /can/ say that's not what this movement is about.
That said, who wouldn't be angry? Who wouldn't yell? People (thin ones in particular) have been telling me my whole life "Sweetie you'd look /so good/ if you just dropped, you know, 15-20lbs." They've told me I'm not allowed to wear what I want. (Should you really wear those shorts?) They've told me I'm not allowed to eat what I want. (Maybe you should, you know, skip the bread. All those calories...) They've called me names. (Cow. Fat slut.)
We can't all be Ghandi. Sometimes, it takes anger to make things happen. The goal of fat positive and body positive bloggers is to create safe spaces online for people who have body types that don't fit mainstream beauty ideals. That means people of color, people who are fat, people with disabilities, trans* individuals, etc. These spaces NEED to exist. People need places to learn to love themselves. Society won't be providing them. There's too much money in making people hate themselves. (Too fat? Too ugly? Buy OUR product and we can make you acceptable) Because of that, we have to create them for ourselves.
And actually, people do have a problem with fat people loving themselves. I hear all kinds of horrible comments all day long about how so-and-so really needs to drop some confidence because she's "way too fat" to be as pretty as she thinks she is, or whatever. I've seen it make people genuinely angry. Hell, it used to make /me/ angry, once. When I was, y'know, in the middle of my ed.
The reason for that anger is because it's threatening. It's scary to see someone who's the embodiment of what you've been taught to believe is unloveable loving themselves. It's scary because someone isn't suffering the same fear of fat that you are. It feels unfair that they get to love themselves when you work SO HARD to be the "right" kind of body, and still have trouble.
I have never heard the word "tone policing" before, and I just looked it up. Guess it's a Tumblr thing. I wasn't trying to offend anyone, nor was I saying that fat positivity is bad, or that spaces for people who believe these things (including spaces for the other groups you spoke of) should not exist. I didn't mean to make anyone this upset; clearly people get very worked up about this, and I probably shouldn't have even said anything, but I was only throwing in my two cents. Take it as "ignorance", I assume you have already done so. Again, I wasn't trying to anger anyone, but I'm glad you've gotten your point across.
Like with all groups, I am aware it is only a small percentage of fat positive people who feel the need to bash thin or average people, just like how not all thin people bash fat people. I would know. I understand your use of anger as a response, and I am not telling you to not be angry. I don't have to agree with you, and I don't, but that's not me telling you what to do.
My comment does seem generalized when I look back at it, and that was an error on my part. I was speaking more on my behalf, from my opinions, because like I said, I don't have a problem with people loving themselves. I love myself. I'm glad everyone is working on loving themselves. Thanks for the reply.0 -
I don't agree with the fat bashing, but the recent "fat girl dancing" video with Whitney Thorpe and the explosion of the "No Body Shame Campaign" is absolutely what sprung me into action. I had been ignoring my slowly creeping up weight over the past few years and was slapped in the face a few months ago when I realized I was a pu$$y hair away from 200.
Someone said it earlier fat and happy- fine, but happy with fat, no.
Yes, everyone should love themselves for who they are, not their weight, their pant size, their waist measurement, but not viewing obesity as something that needs to be addressed is foolish. When I made a list of my problems, both physical and mental- many of them are going to be solved by losing weight. The financial issues will be *enhanced* by losing weight- because everyone knows that a fat person couldn't possibly be competent (sarcastically- but yes- thin over fat gets the job is the ugly truth)
OMG I almost choked on a banana! :laugh: But I am right there with you. I, too, was dangerously close to 200 for the first time in my life which is why I'm back. I have two very good friends who are well over 200 and have come to be rather snotty about my new lifestyle comparing my size to theirs and as long as I'm not their size, I should shut up and be happy.0 -
Fat poses so many health risks and people who claim to be happy how they are make me ANGRY!!!!! It's nothing to do with looks it's about your health! You will live a far more fulfilling life at a healthy weight.
You won't require a seatbelt extension on the plane. You won't be too big for the rides at the theme park. You can shop in normal stores. You have energy and good health. How much happier would you be?!!!
I can only speak for myself here but I can tell you I am much happier. But out of all the hundreds of things that have changed for me for the better after I have lost most of my weight there is one thing that makes me the happiest. Its that other people don't feel the need to tell me about my own life. It gets tiresome to hear others opinions about how YOU should improve YOURSELF. Don't get angry at other people for loving themselves, get angry at yourself for hating you. Worry about yourself more and other people less.0
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