How to stop obsessing and calorie counting

I'm so sorry that you are struggling, but I really appreciate your post. I have only begun my weight loss journey, but from a past experience with Weight Watchers, I know exactly what you are talking about. Although I lost a fraction of the weight you have lost, I was very obsessive and unhappy, wasn't proud of my progress and constantly berated myself. Because of this, I started with MFP knowing that I had to make changes that were sustainable and that the point of logging was to learn about what worked for my body not only in terms of losing weight but in terms of what I would follow for the rest of my life.
I know that I will always have to count calories and weigh my food. I know that I have to be happy with the progress that I have made even if my goal feels very far away. But I also know from reading the message boards that weight is not the only indication of success. There is a striking before and after post by a woman who weighs the same in each picture. The difference is that in one picture she wasn't doing any exercise while in the other she had been lifting. In the same way that losing weight is different for everyone (what works for me may not work for you) I think maintenance is probably similar. Cereal is a trigger food for me. I can't keep it in the house. I will never be able to keep it in the house. I would eat five boxes if I could. But I also know its important for me to have cookies when I want them even if I go over my calories. When I go over my calories, my weight may fluctuate, but I need to learn how to accept that fluctuation and not think of it as a failure. I thin in your case you need to allow yourself the time to adjust during maintenance. I've heard from others that there is an adjustment period as you figure out how to eat, and that a simple formula may not do the trick. I also am a firm believer in maintaining a weight/activity level that is actually maintainable. If you want to weigh 125 but struggle with staying there, maybe it's time to reflect on the number and your level of exercise..

I'm really happy to read your post, thank you for sharing it. I am sorry you are struggling with this, but I totally understand it.

Hi - I understand your obsession and have been trying to beat it myself. I am in the middle of reading a book called Love Your Body, Love Your Life. It talks about changing your focus - your body is not WHO you are and it is not how you measure your self worth. When you love yourself then things like eating the right foods will become more natural because you will want to do what is best for yourself - nourishing your body. Easier said than done, I know.

Think back to when you had your big weight loss. How did you motivate yourself? I bet you did it because you said "enough" and just wanted to be healthier for yourself. Channel that energy in maintaining. Eat right and exercise because you want to take care of your body. When you view those things as punishment and as a means to not gain weight then it makes laying around and eating sweets more tempting even when you know they don't make you feel good long term. Sorry if this is a little preachy - just my two cents. Good luck!

I feel the exact same way as you.
I am addicted to counting calories and had an experience this morning that made me want to stop.

I was at Dunkin Donuts and I realized that I wasn't looking at the menu and thinking about the food, I was looking at the menu and thinking about the calories. I was literally doing this in my head. "I could get that, but then I'd had to have something smaller for dinner and would that really be worth it? plus I know I could get this for less etc..." I hated it!

I really want to stop counting calories but I don't want to feel like I've just given up!
It's Frustrating haha.

I personally think there is nothing wrong with logging calories. Most people eat 40% more than they think they do. It is all that fear that needs to be resolved. I have no advice for the fear, lately the dreams where I feel horrible because I am smoking (I quit 5 years ago) and eating junk food have joined forces. At one point in my dream I had a smoke in one hand and a chocolate cookie in the other and I felt like an awful failure and saboteur of my own life lol.

Its very easy for counting calories to turn from a helpful tool to an unhealthy obsession. I constantly struggle with the same thing, so you are not alone. Sometimes I forget what the point of it all is and think I'd be happier if I went back to eating whatever want whenever I want, however much I want. I'll be returning to this thread to see what kind of advice you get.

THIS MIGHT HELP please watch this is part 6, you might also want to see the other part highly recommended

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWpKW7sxXPY&list=PLYdkxp9hJ4i58l583rJV7r2LMAiYFJ9gm

First off, CONGRATS!!!! I'm proud of you. You should be super PROUD, too!

I'm a long-term maintainer (over 10 years now). Sadly, abandoning all tracking around year 5 (thought I had meal planning and portion control *down*) caused me to slowly regain around 7 lbs/year (aka a 35lb gain over past 5 yrs). Luckily us big losers know how to take it off again, so no need to panic, right!

If anyone is interested, here are a few suggestions from this diet veteran:

1) Give yourself a weight gain threshold (ex: 10lb gain). And keep weighing weekly. If you go over that threshold, you start logging again. When you get safely below the threshold, you can stop logging. If you can stay below that threshold, you're golden... Just don't beat yourself up over minor fluctations. Set your max number and don't panic until you hit it.

2) If you are like me, you probably have some favorite healthy meals. Try to keep those in your regular rotation. Plan out your meals & snacks for the week (or at least 2-3 days out) so you don't go off the rails "freestyling" meals & snacks, especially when you are hungry and prone to poor decisions. If you are always great at breakfast or lunch, then don't sweat those meals. If dinner or snacking is problematic, then perhaps only log those.

3) Know your weaknesses. I know I have a problem with portion control, so I don't bring certain stuff into the house (for me, it's carbs - candy, ice cream, chips). If I want a treat, I have to get it outside my home (ex: a single serving of froyo from Red Mango)... not from the 10-gallon drum in my freezer. If you have certain diet weaknesses (ex: eating out), plan for it and make a battle plan (ex: limit eating out to 1 meal/week). For me, it's not bringing the problem stuff in my safe zone (my home).

4) Ya gotta make a commitment to keep up with the exercise even if you aren't logging. I went off diet, but then also went off exercise (goes back to losing my accountability when I stopped logging.) I guess ya gotta be realistic with yourself. If you move less, you eat less. If you move more, you can eat more. That's hard to do in maintenance, but not impossible. Just be aware of the potential pitfall.

That's all I got for now... I could go on, but it gets annoying! I hope that helps!!!

Thank you for commenting, all really helpful. Planning is probably the biggest problem, as I do not want to plan. Think if I did not plan some control would be lost (which would be a relief) but with a 5 year old taking packed lunches, working full time and being out of the house from 7-7 planning is essential to have healthy and nutritious meals. I do not want to limit what food I have as like I said food is one of my passions but would just love to eat mindfully with portion control and go 30 seconds without thinking about food!

I know I will loose anything I put on as I run 25-40k a week as well as doing strength training. My overhaul in attitude towards fitness is what I am proud of. I am eager to show my daughter that exercise gives you strength and power to do anything but I also want to show her balance but that is what iam struggling with;(

Thank you again for your words;) it is comforting that I am not alone and as mad as I think I am.

You could plan meals for a whole week or two at a time, go shopping for everything you need and then completely put it out of your head until it's time to cook and eat. You could even cook extra meals and freeze them for extra free time. Besides, you are planning when you're obsessing.

I coulda written this post.. and I've been so close to doing it so many times. Cant wait to see more replies

I measure and weigh most things to make sure I am eating only one serving and then I sort of keep a running total in my head.

This is what I do. I got burnt out on counting, had to step away.

I want to come back and read these later! Maintaining is tough.

Take some time off tracking calories and eat in a freestyle manner. It'll do you some good.

Maybe just stop so much preplanning and calorie counting in your mind. After four years, you must have developed some healthy eating habits, and enjoy some of the low-glycemic, high fiber and lean protein foods that are SO GOOD for a healthy lifestyle.

How about just continuing to use MFP as a great resource to keep logging what you eat and your activity for a couple of weeks, maybe a month -- then you'll be able to look back and take an honest look at where your current lifestyle is taking you.

After four years, it would be interesting to see what you body and mind have as a lifestyle set-point -- how much do you really crave the healthy foods, and the physical activity that is so important to a well-balanced life?? It might give you a chance to see where you stand, and then make a promise to yourself that you will re-assess at the end of 30 days.