Goal reached. Family horrified.

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Replies

  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
    o_o that's just plain rude! you look awesome and you need to change NOTHING! And you shouldn't have to defend yourself to them.
  • Telomin
    Telomin Posts: 45 Member
    You look really pretty and fit!

    Actually, just because your family is well educated doesn't mean they back up what they say with their facts. Like an "ew", that's nothing they can base of their knowledge, it's just their own opinions, and, it seems very much based off feelings. Jealousy. Definitly.

    To change your weight just to make them happy (so they would feel "better" or "prettier" than you) if NOT the right way for you to go.
    '
    Even if your family is trying to bring you down, don't you feel happier now? Don't you yourself feel prettier now?

    I'm sorry to say, but sometimes ppl who are close to you do not want your best for you..

    I've also heard that "you're too ksinny! you need to eat more!!" and when I did and I was happy I heard "you're too fat!! you look pregnant!"

    Then I decided to just never give a **** about what they think ever again. What no one thinks except for me.

    Your abs look really good, and I hope I will get nice abs like that too, they must be really strong!

    I just think you should do what makes YOU happy. And again, I think you look super pretty!
  • Jady777
    Jady777 Posts: 20
    You look amazing! I think family can be over protecting/overbearing. Same thing happens to me, they'll tell me I look good but then they'll worry. My mom told me the other day "Eat, you need to eat, careful you don't look like an anorexic".... I was like what?!?! i eat a whole lot and also because I lift weights it's comments about turning out "manly"..... So I feel you when the people closest to you don't support you, BUT TRUTH IS YOU DO THIS FOR YOU AND YOUR HAPPINESS! So in the end it doesn't matter what they say, Congrats on reaching your goal!!!
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
    Don't worry, they will eventually stop that nonsense.. And even if they do not..... IGNORE!!

    I get the same over here from some family members. I say things like: " really? You think so? Thanks for telling me. So,how's your new job going?" Move the conversation right along.

    You look great! Congratulations :))
  • princessmommy122
    princessmommy122 Posts: 135 Member
    You look amazing! I think they are jealous.
  • jamiesillimandunn
    jamiesillimandunn Posts: 270 Member
    Wow !! I'm getting a bit of this from my family too , gotta love them ...I've picked up the nickname BONES , and my mom calls me SKINNY. I've also been called FIT and and gorgeous etc. so I think when it comes to losing weight who is wishing they did it too who is not understanding a true healthy fit body? I think the ones with the mean words. Anyway you look amazing EVERYTHING , your definitely not EW . You look vibrant , fit and HAPPY . I'm wondering when " EW" became a diagnosis ! HAHA...not laughing at you laughing at the folks thinking they are hiding their jealousy from you behind their credentials ...with an " EW" remark ! GIRL you are looking damn good and did what so many wish they could . Be proud .
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
    For what it's worth, I think you look brilliant.

    I reckon that a lot of people don't know whats' "normal" anymore. There are so many overweight people nowadays, that it has become the norm. And when you're slim, you're now classified as "skinny" by others. I noticed the same myself, people call me skinny, while really I am (now) just within the healthy BMI range.
  • Melionfire
    Melionfire Posts: 343 Member
    You are beautiful and you look fit and strong!! You should be proud and happy with your accomplishments and so should your family!!!
  • bf43005
    bf43005 Posts: 287
    I think you look fantastic and good for you for being healthier. I think it's a preception issue for them. Yes, they are in the industry of fitness and health but that is for strangers. They are used to seeing you a certain way, they are used to your face looking a certain way. You look much thinner than your before picture but not unhealthy. I think it might just take them some time to get used to the new you. Be happy with what you have done!
  • chiqey
    chiqey Posts: 13
    You have a very pretty face and an amazing body. Obviously some jealousy going on in your family. Keep smiling and keep doing what you're doing and if it's passing jealous people off -- even better :)
  • kbmnurse
    kbmnurse Posts: 2,484 Member
    Ignore the Debby downers.
  • kmorgan221
    kmorgan221 Posts: 206 Member
    I think we (collectively) have become so used to seeing morbidly obese people that we view someone who is simply "overweight" as healthy. We have forgotten what a truly healthy weight looks like, so when we get there, that's the response we get. It's unfortunate (and sad) that we have to deal with it from our family. I agree that they can have all the opinions they want, that's all they are.

    FWIW you look fantastic! Great job.
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    OP I think you look wonderful! Beautiful before AND after the weightloss. Be proud of your accomplishments. Family can be weird about accepting other peoples successes. <3
  • HappyGal7
    HappyGal7 Posts: 1 Member
    People who know us well are often surprised/shocked/horrified by the huge changes that come with the way one looks when a significant amount of weight is lost. You look great to someone who has never seen you before. Don't forget, they're used to seeing you with the extra weight and the change is shocking to them. If people on the street stared because you looked so out of the "norm" (skeletal, sickly, etc.) then I would take their comments a little more seriously but you look amazing. Thank them for their input, I'm sure they meant well, and tell them you've never felt better, then change the subject. What matters is how you feel about yourself and you can't let some misguided comments make you doubt yourself. Way to go, girl!!!!
  • Insomniac8
    Insomniac8 Posts: 182
    Sometimes family members say stuff that hurt and they don't even notice. It doesn't hurt that much if an acquaintance or even a friend says same stuff but they're family and we expect support from them even if they're the least supportive people on earth. Your family seems harsh to me exactly like my own mom. I got used to not care and it's too hard sometimes.
    Here's my opinion on what you should do: go see a Dr and ask him/her to check up all that need to be checked. When you make sure you're totally healthy, show the results to your family and tell them that you're healthy and also feeling good with your look. :)
  • perrinjoshua
    perrinjoshua Posts: 286 Member
    One thing I have learned along the way is that you can't please everyone. Family opinion can probably evoke the most complicated reactions in us but it is still only an opinion. You look amazing and fit. You look happy and pleased with your success. You also look gorgeous - what more can a body want? Keep doing what you are doing. You are making yourself a healthier version and that's a good thing. Remember, not everyone will see you the same way, for different reasons. Just be true to yourself.
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    Seriously? You look so amazing and happy! Congrats on your success and enjoy it. :heart:

    I think maybe someone is secretly jealous :wink:
  • geyshabelly
    geyshabelly Posts: 8 Member
    trust me you look really good with that weight, nothing bad with your face.. im sure you feel great, so dont worry about what they say. my father loves to see me fat he think fat is healthy
  • flyoddie
    flyoddie Posts: 1
    You look fit and healthy. Not to thin. I think they just got used to the heavier you, they will adjust to the healthy you later. I wouldn't worry about it. I bet a lot had to do with lighting on Skype. I have seen people look really weird on there, way different than in person.
  • 1pandabear
    1pandabear Posts: 336 Member
    You look great, but more importantly, this is about your health. It's weird, given their professions, that they are making this all about appearance and not about health. I also can't believe they told you you were too fat for ballet. Sounds pretty toxic. If any of my family were to say the word "ew" in relationship with my appearance, I think I'd be having a cry-fest. Please know that their opinions are totally without ground. Maybe if your dad had finished that PhD in Phys Ed, he would have gotten to the lesson that says, "don't bully people for being healthy."

    The above bears repeating. Agree whole heartedly with the quote. And you look gorgeous, head to toe!
  • shyfranklinstein
    shyfranklinstein Posts: 61
    They just seem either jealous or scared/bummed out about their own progress or lack there of. You look amazing! Not too skinny at all. Strong and healthy lady! Keep it up
  • Harrisonsauntie2005
    Harrisonsauntie2005 Posts: 215 Member
    And for comparison, here is my face before:

    07073cbba0bd4c2399bee5909545798f.jpg

    And after:

    3d184d4e12ca4df99777c4351448526f.jpg

    You're pretty. Sodd them
  • acpgranberg
    acpgranberg Posts: 137 Member
    You look fantastic. Some families hate it when you succeed at something they cannot. I know it doesn't take the hurt away but congratulations on your success. You have done an amazing job.
  • joolywooly33
    joolywooly33 Posts: 421 Member
    I think you look amazing...........
  • FitMe758
    FitMe758 Posts: 177 Member
    YOu look fantastic.
  • angieroo2
    angieroo2 Posts: 970 Member
    So about a month ago I reached my goal. I am no longer "overweight" but now am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi weight range. I weigh exactly what I did when I was 17, only I am in much better shape because I am eating healthy, and exercise 3 - 5 times a week, mainly weights but also some regular cardio.

    I was skyping my family the other night, and my Dad (an ex-OIympic and professional wrestler, and a former college and professional football player, who almost completed a Ph. D in Physical Education, so he knows a lot about fitness and diet), said to me, "We have all been talking about your weight. You look awful. You are too thin. Your sister in law Kim agrees, you look bad. We think you need to gain 15 lbs." And I said, "I have only lost 30 total - that would mean putting on half my weight back." And my sister, nurse with a Ph. D in nursing and long time Professor of nursing and medicine at various universities chimed in and said, "yah, you look awful - especially YOUR FACE! EW!"

    That being said, when I was this weight the last time, back in the 1990's, I was doing 4 hours of ballet a week plus cheerleading and marching band, was in great shape, and at that time these same people said, "you need to quit ballet - you are too fat. They don't take short fat girls in ballets. You need to join the football team or find a Sumo Wrestling club." AT THE SAME WEIGHT I AM NOW, where they are saying "your face - EW!"

    Frankly I think I am the healthiest and in the best shape I have ever been in. What should I make of what they said? I was sad, then mad, and now I realize that I obviously have some image issues, or what they say wouldn't hurt. Or would it? Would these things hurt other people's feelings too? What do y'all think - is my face so "EW"? Do I look worse than when I started? Here is a pic, me before on the left, last August, and me now on the right. And again, I am right in the middle of the "normal" bmi range, not on the low end at all.

    weightloss.png

    I can't see your before and after (it's my computer, not your posting), but I did look at your profile picture. You look fine, not too thin at all. Honestly, they don't seem to like supporting you. Telling you that you're too fat and at the same weight too thin in general. And saying "ew" really doesn't even begin to be a legitimate criticism, that doesn't help a problem if they honestly saw one. That being said, they need to look at themselves and figure out why they're not encouraging you and why they feel the need to so rudely insult you.
  • starrylioness
    starrylioness Posts: 543 Member
    You look BEAUTIFUL! Ignore them. Seriously.
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    You look great. Own it.

    Congrats!
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
    Your family members are @ssholes, stupid, and probably just jealous that you are dedicated to something and could follow through, which reminds them of their own failures and shortcomings, so they put you down to make themselves feel better.
  • katharine1980
    katharine1980 Posts: 45 Member
    I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive. You look great. Stay strong

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