I will post a funny status a day here

245

Replies

  • amberrenee813
    amberrenee813 Posts: 395 Member
    5/8 Funny status of the day- Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in Wal-Mart was staring at me.
  • fallingtrees
    fallingtrees Posts: 220 Member
    Great! I should follow you for these daily chuckles.

    BTW, when Miley does it, it's still called Wasted.
  • sargessexyone
    sargessexyone Posts: 494 Member
    OMG!!! You had me peeing :laugh:

    Here's one you can use:

    I may be fat but your ugly and I can go on a diet.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    I particularly like how out of all the racist jokes you could have included, you picked Mexican.
  • paulawatkins1974
    paulawatkins1974 Posts: 720 Member
    Some of these made me laugh out loud!
  • SandieM7
    SandieM7 Posts: 47 Member
    Hysterical!
  • :laugh:
  • AbsolutelyAnnie
    AbsolutelyAnnie Posts: 2,691 Member
    Love this! Humor is the great equalizer.
  • Laughter_Girl
    Laughter_Girl Posts: 2,240 Member
    I laughed until I cried. Thanks for the laughs!
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    huh? :indifferent:
  • jjoh553028
    jjoh553028 Posts: 41 Member
    :laugh:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.

    I'm waiting on the 1 that's funny
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 419 Member
    Hilarious, my hubs is laughing too. Looking forward to more :laugh:
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.

    I'm waiting on the 1 that's funny

    I don't think she said that they'd be funny. Only that she would post 1 a day to stay motivated. I don't get how hunting for a bad joke to tell is very motivating?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    Hilarious, my hubs is laughing too. Looking forward to more :laugh:

    Did you hear the one about the blonde frizzy haired white chick?
  • amberrenee813
    amberrenee813 Posts: 395 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.

    I'm waiting on the 1 that's funny

    I don't think she said that they'd be funny. Only that she would post 1 a day to stay motivated. I don't get how hunting for a bad joke to tell is very motivating?

    It was to keep me accountable.
  • amberrenee813
    amberrenee813 Posts: 395 Member
    Hilarious, my hubs is laughing too. Looking forward to more :laugh:

    Did you hear the one about the blonde frizzy haired white chick?

    What's that?
  • slipped_her_hobbles
    slipped_her_hobbles Posts: 719 Member
    To keep me accountable at logging in. I'm already at a 27 day streak and can't wait to hit 90! Here are some of my status' so far:


    ~ Today was a really bad day. First, my ex got run over by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

    ~ Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Diets are hard!

    ~ I got gas today for $1.19! Too bad it was from Taco Bell.

    ~ I hate it when you give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then, all of a sudden....she's not your friend anymore.

    ~ The gym was so crowded today, I had to skip my workout. Luckily, the line at Dunkin Donuts was shorter than usual.

    ~ You can tell a lot about a females mood just by her hands. For instance if they're holding a gun, she's probably mad.

    ~ I like to run up and down the street, knocking on people's doors. I call it the "Jehovah's Fitness Program.

    ~ I used to be afraid to fart in front of my boyfriend. But today I just let it go. He didn't mind. But the people at the funeral weren't too pleased.

    ~ It's always awkward when u are out in public and run into your ex. Then, u feel obligated to back the car into reverse and run them over again.

    ~ I'm a terrific housekeeper! Every time I lose a husband, I keep a house.

    ~ It's always awkward when u are out in public and run into your ex. Then, u feel obligated to back the car into reverse and run them over again.

    ~ My friend told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry. That was until I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

    ~ I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

    ~ I hate making plans for the day. Then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around the courtroom.

    ~ I have a new diet plan...Make all my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.

    ~ I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times I can hit the snooze button.

    ~ I farted at the store today and four people turned around. I felt like I was on "The Voice."

    ~ When I was little, my parents moved a lot. But luckily, I always found them.

    ~ Starbucks really isn't that expensive considering how much Victoria's Secret charges per cup.

    ~ Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know how tough life must be for the visually impaired.

    ~ I tried playing Uno with my Mexican friends, but they kept stealing all my green cards

    ~ I wear all black to the gym because I'm having a funeral for my fat.

    ~ When Miley is half-naked and licks a hammer, it's called "art" and "music." When I go to Home Depot and do the same, I'm called "wasted" and told to "leave the premises."

    Ya not really diggin' the Mexican jokes but that's just me I guess....

    eta: and my whole family but ya...other than that....ya :noway:
  • 1Cor1510
    1Cor1510 Posts: 419 Member
    Hilarious, my hubs is laughing too. Looking forward to more :laugh:

    Did you hear the one about the blonde frizzy haired white chick?
    Wow, really?
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