I will post a funny status a day here

135

Replies

  • koosorlose
    koosorlose Posts: 186
    ~ I got gas today for $1.19! Too bad it was from Taco Bell.

    hahahahahahaha
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
    they were all funny but my faves were the watermelon one and the one about miley cirus lol funny stuff.
  • norrisski
    norrisski Posts: 1,217 Member
    bump
  • newjojie
    newjojie Posts: 291 Member
    Awesome laughs! Thanks!
  • amberrenee813
    amberrenee813 Posts: 395 Member
    5/9 Funny status of the day- They say sex is the best form of exercise. But is 2 minutes every week really gonna whittle down a beer gut?
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    5/9 Funny status of the day- They say sex is the best form of exercise. But is 2 minutes every week really gonna whittle down a beer gut?

    :yawn:
  • amberrenee813
    amberrenee813 Posts: 395 Member
    5/10 Funny status of the day- I don't call the toilet "The John." Instead, I prefer "The Jim." That was it sounds better when I say I go to "The Jim" every morning.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    5/10 Funny status of the day- I don't call the toilet "The John." Instead, I prefer "The Jim." That was it sounds better when I say I go to "The Jim" every morning.
    :huh: :frown:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    To keep me accountable at logging in. I'm already at a 27 day streak and can't wait to hit 90! Here are some of my status' so far:


    ~ Today was a really bad day. First, my ex got run over by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.

    ~ Today I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Diets are hard!

    ~ I got gas today for $1.19! Too bad it was from Taco Bell.

    ~ I hate it when you give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and then, all of a sudden....she's not your friend anymore.

    ~ The gym was so crowded today, I had to skip my workout. Luckily, the line at Dunkin Donuts was shorter than usual.

    ~ You can tell a lot about a females mood just by her hands. For instance if they're holding a gun, she's probably mad.

    ~ I like to run up and down the street, knocking on people's doors. I call it the "Jehovah's Fitness Program.

    ~ I used to be afraid to fart in front of my boyfriend. But today I just let it go. He didn't mind. But the people at the funeral weren't too pleased.

    ~ It's always awkward when u are out in public and run into your ex. Then, u feel obligated to back the car into reverse and run them over again.

    ~ I'm a terrific housekeeper! Every time I lose a husband, I keep a house.

    ~ It's always awkward when u are out in public and run into your ex. Then, u feel obligated to back the car into reverse and run them over again.

    ~ My friend told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry. That was until I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

    ~ I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

    ~ I hate making plans for the day. Then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around the courtroom.

    ~ I have a new diet plan...Make all my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look.

    ~ I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times I can hit the snooze button.

    ~ I farted at the store today and four people turned around. I felt like I was on "The Voice."

    ~ When I was little, my parents moved a lot. But luckily, I always found them.

    ~ Starbucks really isn't that expensive considering how much Victoria's Secret charges per cup.

    ~ Whenever somebody calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them because I know how tough life must be for the visually impaired.

    ~ I tried playing Uno with my Mexican friends, but they kept stealing all my green cards

    ~ I wear all black to the gym because I'm having a funeral for my fat.

    ~ When Miley is half-naked and licks a hammer, it's called "art" and "music." When I go to Home Depot and do the same, I'm called "wasted" and told to "leave the premises."

    Ya not really diggin' the Mexican jokes but that's just me I guess....

    eta: and my whole family but ya...other than that....ya :noway:

    Me neither.


    Not cool, OP.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.

    Her first list contained a 2 for: one Mexican joke and one Jehovah's Witness joke. I believe she's escalated.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    huh? :indifferent:

    She is going to make ONE joke a day to keep herself motivated.

    However the pattern indicates that only about 1 in 15 will be racial. She has already done Mexican so I think we are two weeks away from another one, I for one can't wait to see if it will be Jewish, Blacks, or Polish. OMGOMGOMG, I'm laughing already.

    Her first list contained a 2 for: one Mexican joke and one Jehovah's Witness joke. I believe she's escalated.
    You're right, she doubled down on that first post. Tricksie hobbit, sneaking them in with all those boring jokes. It's insidious.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,207 Member
    In. For MyChocolateDiet's replies. I find them very entertaining.
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    omgcw.gif
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    nvm:flowerforyou:
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    omgcw.gif

    fify

    :heart:
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    I'm entertained
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    I'm entertained

    finally! omgomgomg. OP's gna be so excited to find real jokes in here...
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,302 Member
    keep it going; these are awesome!!!!!!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,282 Member
    keep it going; these are awesome!!!!!!

    you can pitch in, what am i your slave?
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,302 Member
    You could never be someone's slave; my hope would be she'd apologize. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Meanwhile I have a flower for you:flowerforyou:
This discussion has been closed.