your worse or humiliating experience when fat?
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Being told I may need to go to the zoo for an MRI.0
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I'm currently obese but I'm trying really hard to change my life style and make smart food decisions.
My most humiliating experience would be constantly reminded by my parents that I was fat especially, everytime
I go to eat. It killed my self esteem and literally made me distance myself from them emotionally. But yeah my family & conscience definitely are one of the things that affect me the most.
Each day I'm getting better though,it's only been one week since I began making changes to my diet and I hope I accomplish it for the long term...lol0 -
my children have been bullied because of my weight. i do not care if you insult me but please do not involve my kids. i was picking them up from school when some of their classmates mooed at me and told them they will be fat like me too. this was my turning point. i had a gastric sleeve done last year and lost nearly 50 pounds but i still have a long journey. my children shouldn't need to suffer because of my weight
This is horrendous! How unacceptable and cruel others are. I am so sorry for your children. Keep up your incredible journey!
I am currently recovering from a gallbladder removal because I had mobile stones that blocked my pancreas. My father won't stop calling to tell me that this was because of my diet and I have gotten fat. He keeps reiterating my western diet leads to death. My mother was always obese and it made him so angry and now he keeps comparing us. I want him to leave it be. I understand where I am and what I need to do but the way he shows concern is so tactless. It isn't public but I love my father dearly and I have never been able to get his approval for my physical features.0 -
My worse humiliating thing happened a month ago when my now ex girlfriend wanted me to start working out at the gym, I really don't like going to the gym and working out because I feel like everyone is watching me, I'm a big guy at 297 lbs. and its just humiliating . well she told me that I could just do cardio with her and that it wouldn't be bad , well I agreed to go with her the next time she went. she went 3 times a week to a class but I told her I needed to find something to wear that was okay for the class so she took me shopping at the mall we went to a place that sold gym clothes and she picked out some things for me to try on, so I went into the changing room and one by one came out to the mirrors to see them and let her look at them one of the things she me try on was a pair or white shorts they fit kind of snug and stretchy but seemed to feel okay to workout in she liked them when I came out for her to see them, when I turned around and started to walk to the mirror to look at them she got a really big smile on her face and said they are perfect and rushed me back into the dressing room to get dress, then she picked out a t-shirt that went just down to my waist, and we left. she told me to shed be back before time to go to the gym and help me get ready I said okay and she drove off with my bag of gym clothes still in the car. well she called and told me shed be back 30 mins before the class to get me ready and pick me up so I took a shower and waited for her to come when she got there she told me we didn't have time for me to get dressed and I could just dress at the gym so I got in and we went when we got to the gym there was a couple of other women there and us also the woman instructor she took me up to her and introduced me to her and told her I would be trying her class tonight, she said good that it would be nice having a man in the class she told me I could use the dressing room to change in because there wasn't anyone in there right now so I went into the dressing room and my girlfriend followed me and took my clothes as I took them off and put them in the locker I then put on my t=shirt and started to get my shorts and she said you cant wear your boxers under these shorts take them off too, so I did as she told me and put the shorts on she smiled and told me to get my shoes on and come on out and she left when I was ready I walked out into the room it was a lot more women there and as I passed them they all said hi and smiled at me some even laughed a little I wasn't sure what that was about but I thought it was because I was the only guy there. soon the class was about ready to start the instructor came to me and took me to the front of the room and introduced me to the class and said I was new and she wanted me to be at the front of the class because she needed to make sure I did the moves right so I was up front right in front of everyone with her in front of me and we began slowly we started doing marching steps ,then faster and then we did some other moves and soon I was really working up a sweat and I just did as fast as I could everything she told us to do, some times shed come over to me and put her hand on me and helped me do some of the moves where I'd get off balance and soon my t-shirt and shorts were soaking wet with sweat and as we started doing deep nee bends the women behind me kind of were laughing some and I figured they thought it was funny seeing my fat *kitten* bending down deep hell I thought it was funny too just thinking about it soon we were on our backs on the floor doing leg raises and then opening our legs spreading them as far apart as possible then we did some crunches and were back on our feet doing side leg kicks all the while the women behind me were whispering and laughing and the instructor told every one to move up closer as we finished the last 10 minute's of the class on our hands and knees stretching our backs with our butts up in the air and our faces on the floor it was a really good work out after the class was done everyone was laughing and telling me how much they enjoyed me coming to the class and hoped I come all the time and I told them I would and the instructor came over to me and told me it was one of her best classes ever , that all the girls really had fun with me there and I went to change then I ask my girl friend for the key to the locked and she said she didn't have a lock or a key I told her that I locked it with the lock that was by my shoes I had thought she put there for me , but she didn't I went to the instructor and ask if she had the key but she told me it wasn't her lock so my girlfriend just laughed and said you'll just have to stay in you workout clothes until we get home everyone laughed and some of my girlfriends friends said lets go next door for a drink before we go home and my girlfriend said sure lets do it so we all went to the bar that was right next door we walked in and one of her friends named Kim ask me to play pool with her so I said I would but my wallet was back in the locker and I had no money my girlfriend laughed and said shed pay so off we went to the pool table a lot of the girls from the class were there all at the bar laughing and talking to the woman behind the bar the bargirl brought me a beer and stood behind me while I bent over the table to make a shot then I turned and she gave me the weirdest smile and laughed at me I thought she was crazy and keep playing, all the other girls had their phones out and every time I bent over to make a shot would snap pictures of me making my shots and would all laugh really like they were having the time of their life's after a while I had another beer and played a couple more games and my girlfriend said it was time to go, she said before we go I want you to set here at the bar with us and Have one last drink I said okay and went to the only barstool right in the middle of all the girls and sat down on it as soon as I did I felt the very cold steel seat on my *kitten* I was in shock my shorts had split right up from my crotch to the waste band and my entire *kitten* was exposed I had no Ideal how long it had been that way and the girls were laughing asking me what was wrong I ask them if they knew my shorts were ripped and they all said yes , I ask how long have they been like that and they told me since about half way thru the class and they didn't want to say anything to embarrass me so they just let it be I had to walk out of the bar with my *kitten* showing as the girls all walked behind me laughing . when we got in the car my girl friend was laughing her *kitten* off at me she told me she knew the shorts were like that when we bought them and she just had to let me show my *kitten* to all her friends and that was the worse thing ever to happen to me while I've been fat........0
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I have 3 awful moments that are all a tie for me:
One, when I was kid, and one of the other kids in class wanted what I had in my lunch, and they said "why do you need to eat anyways fatty?"
Two, when I was serving in a restaurant, and I ordered calamari as a meal, and the cook said "You shouldn't be eating that"
Three, when I was serving in a restaurant. I had been talking about my engagement to a friend and she said congratulations. A table overheard, and when I came up to the table, the woman patted my stomach and asked "so how far along are you?" I guess she only heard the congratulations part.. I took it like a champ and explained I was not prgenant and that I was engaged. She was mortified, I think that was the good part for me. Can I add I was a size 30 waist at the time, and not really what you'd call "fat"??!!0 -
eddieeats, that's awful! I'm glad she's an ex girlfriend now. =( Stay strong!0
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About 2 years ago, I was out for a walk with my hubby when a car full of random guys slowed down as they passed us and shouted 'fat cow' to me out of the window. I was completely mortified and cannot even begin to describe how that effected my self-esteem for weeks afterwards. :-(0
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Few things!! My mum telling me 'It's such a shame because you have such a pretty face' and my dad in tears. I was 301lbs. Stays with you. I can't get rid of mum's comment. Still has a huge impact on me.
I had liver tumors and 3/4 of it removed. The risks involved because of my weight were huge, and knowing I could die on the table. I had type 2 diabetes. High blood pressure, and a dangerously high heart rate, chronic fatigue and pain syndrome, was really depressed. Life was grim! Now 71lbs lighter I've been zip lining, jet skiing and getting my first motorbike in 2 weeks. I'm finding a new found confidence. I'm weight. Lifting, cycling, doing HIIT at the the gym. Not bad going considering I used to spend my days in bed with Fybromyalgia!
I'm dating and just met a really nice guy, the thought of him seeing me naked for the first time is daunting. Then there were the small but awful things like never feeling nice, never feeling pretty , expensive clothes, not being able to fit on fairground rides or run around with my nephew without being totally and utterly knackered for days on end. The lack of confidence meant I never reached for MY goals in life, just followed a partners, which lead to me being shattered as a person, just totally and utterly broken in a codependants world.
Because of my weight I allowed lots of people in my life to treat me wrongly because my confidence was low. Some cogs were lost when I had to change how l let people treat me, I gladly lost my partner of 6 years, but along with it my two wonderful step kids, the house I owned and my wonderful in laws! Been a tough year, but I'm coming out kicking!
Great reminder of what used to be when you were at your biggest, even though you get frustrated your not where you want to be!
Zara x0 -
These both stick out for me because I was a child.
1. Age 9. Teacher makes fun of my weight. Whole class laughs.
2. Age 12. Aunt is buying a hammock. Asks me to sit on it to "test the weight limit" before she buys it. Family and store associate laugh.0 -
About 2 years ago, I was out for a walk with my hubby when a car full of random guys slowed down as they passed us and shouted 'fat cow' to me out of the window. I was completely mortified and cannot even begin to describe how that effected my self-esteem for weeks afterwards. :-(
I've had this happen too! The dregs of society! You can bet they are still ugly on the inside! X0 -
Hmm my wake up call was probably when I realized I kept being asked how many kids I have, probably because I looked like someone who's given birth twice and never kept the weight off. Oh the awkward silence that descends when I answer that I don't have kids.0
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Christmas day: my dad was in a bad mood and I asked if I should give the leftovers to the dog. His response "we already have two fatties in the house we don't need another".0
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I can write a whole book on this topic. About 3 years ago I went to visit my parents, who live in another part of the country. My 3 year old daugter went with. They would go out visiting their friends, taking my daughter along, and not invite me. They, especially my mother, was ashamed of me! Ironically she was and is overweight herself (although, I am morbidly OBESE). My mom also sends packages to my daughter. Most of the times she will include newpaper or magazine clippings about obesity/overweight. The worst part of her being critical about my weight, is that it actually seems as if the doesn't want me to lose the weight! Each time I went on a diet and told her about it, she would phone me a week later and ask me how much I had lost. Then she would tell me that she also went on a diet and lost DOUBLE what I had lost. Everything is a competition with her and as long as I am the loser (so to speak), she is happy.
Most recent humiliating experiences are 2 little girls at my daughter's aftercare who told me I am fat - on 2 seperate occasions. The one little girl was with her mum when she said it. The mom just stood there: dead faced. She didn't say anything or apologised for her child being rude. Maybe because it's the truth, hey?
At school the biggest bully was my very own brother! He was one of the "cool" kids and when he and his friends would walk past me, they would call me names. Their favourite was BUS.
Has anybody notices when somebody needs to describe an overweight person, they always mention the weight? They won't say "it's the blonde girl" or "she wears glassess and is short". Nope, they wil always say "it's the FAT girl".0 -
It was more what people DID than what they said, for me. I commute to work a long distance (50+ miles), so I ride a commuter train, and people would always, without fail, avoid the empty seat next to me. I guess they thought that I'd "crush" them or something. It was actually pretty embarrassing. And one day, I saw people STANDING on the train rather than take that seat - I was like, "Oh, come on, I can't be THAT bad." Only... well, yeah, I was that bad.
105+ pounds lost later, and now everyone seems to pick that seat first instead of last.
I totally know what you mean!! When I was 100-120 lb heavier I often noticed hosts or servers in restaurants specifically finding a seat for me and whomever I was dining with that would be roomy and not in others' way, and in similar situations with my smaller girlfriends they would let me pick my seat first, or specifically take the tight spot at a table...stuff like that. Tables have turned in the past year and now I see servers visually scanning me and my husband (who is fit & normal anyway, but also getting lighter on MFP) and sticking us in the tiny booth for two right up front, or in a difficult to reach area, stuff like that. It's odd to see the change, but cool!0 -
bump for later0
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For me it was my mother telling me the whole through my teenage years to "hold your stomach in, you look pregnant" and even know she tells me "if you could just lose weight you'd be stunning"
but what really got me was when my soon to be ex husband, the day after an argument, "well, are you not impressed that we had a row and i didn't mention your weight?" as if he should have gotten brownie points for it!0 -
These are terrible. I could hardly read some of these.
I hate seeing pictures of myself and when someone takes them and I look at them, I'm truly shocked at how big I am...
I'm truly sorry that anyone would treat another person like that, but people are *kitten* hats!
When I get really down, I remind myself that I'm smaller than I was and I'm on track to being fit. It keeps me going and I know that in a few months, I can tell my success story!0 -
I have never been what anyone would call "pretty." Generally I overcompensate for my lack of "looks" with humor and an outgoing personality. I was always the chubby kid, but growing up I never considered myself fat, just a little fluffier than my friends. This really became something that bothered me when I started liking boys.. one in particular... Who told me that he would only date me if I lost weight. I did, almost 30 pounds. It was the most effort I put into anything I had ever done in my life. I guess he felt obligated to take me out the next time I asked him... it did not go well. He kept telling me how he thought my face would get prettier when I lost a few pounds, but I looked the same. He did not hide his disappointment. This shaped how I interacted with guys until I started college (complete avoidance in any romantic way.) Sadly, I also used it as an excuse to gain weight back. I stopped the healthy path I had put myself on and took a very "f**k it" attitude.
Now I do things for ME, and I take personal responsibility for my bad choices, it just took me a little time to get there.0 -
Just yesterday afternoon I was waiting for my commuter train to go home, and everyone was standing on the platform waiting for the doors to open. When they finally did, some stupid woman behind me went, "Moooove, Betsy, mooove."
In the old days I would have bit my lip and kept walking, maybe cried a little. But... something in me wouldn't let me this time. I turned around, looked her right in the eyes, and said as loudly as I could, "I'm really glad that you said that, just now. Because it says much more about you than it will ever say about me." And I walked away.
I heard a couple of people behind me go, "Good for her." One applauded.
It's weird, but in that moment I was really, really proud of myself.
Good for you! and THAT's how you do it!I'm totally astounded. Either I hang out with nicer people or I'm too thick to notice people saying / doing nasty things.
Me too! Some of the things that have happened to you all..I weep for the future of humanity. I wish I could take away the pain that you all have had to go through. It's sickening..
I love my 'bi*ch face'! because apart from dumb kids mooing occasionally or some idiots yelling things from car windows people are usually smart enough NOT to say things about me when I can hear them and those that aren't don't even deserve my time to comment. I've never been one to mince words or hold my tongue, I'm convinced that people can just see this in me and think twice. Fat / skinny / built/ soft/ hot and not so hot, I've been there and everywhere in between. There's *kitten* who will comment on anything!0 -
I was really small before I had kids and my ex used to say he moved in with a Barbie, and ended up with a Cabbage Patch Kid. So that kinda sucked.0
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They could not lock the seat when I was on an amusement ride. My wife and kids had already been locked in and I couldn't ride with them.0
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There are so many.. but one that sticks out is from when I was younger, around 14 or so. I was never obese, but I had some extra pounds on me for sure. I was out to eat with family on a Sunday and as I was eating, my Grandma said "Eryn, your rolls are hanging out." It devastated me and I still think of it to this day.
Also, when I was younger, I had friends who made fun of me for being chubby. When they'd be over at my house and I'd approach them, or maybe walk up the stairs to meet them, they'd put their arms out beside them in a curved motion, insinuating how wide and round I was.0 -
I tried Alli :indifferent:0
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My family were commenting on my weight-gain behind my back when my little cousin (3yrs old) overheard and started saying "amy fat" over and over. The worse part though was my aunty encouraging it and other relatives finding it hilarious.
That is just terrible, what is WRONG with people?0 -
A few years ago, I was driving with the windows down and stopped at a stoplight when I heard something coming from the car next to me. There were two guys in their 20s in the car next to mine and they were looking at me saying "moo!!" When I instinctively looked over, they said "How's it going cow?" and mooed at me until the light changed. I was so devastated that it crushed my self esteem and made things worse for me for a while. People can be so cruel. That experience just sticks with me. So simple, but so traumatic.
I cannot even read this anymore, it's making me hate people.0 -
I think the worst thing for me was being yelled at out of cars. It happened to me again and again and again from the time i was a teenager. Just so...public and shaming and hurtful and embarrassing. One time I was even pushing my newborn in a stroller, but that didn't stop someone from mooing out of their car and screaming at me to move over so they had room to drive by (I was on the sidewalk).
I never knew what it is about me that seems to invite people to scream at me about how horrible I am while I am just trying to live my life.0 -
Just this past weekend actually. My husband who is my best friend and has loved me no matter what size I am told me that I was no longer attractive to him. That he was sick of my weight, and that our daughter was embarrased by me and has to defend me when people ask her if her mom is "the fat mom"
Suffice to say, any past insults by strangers and "well meaning friends" became moot.0 -
Just this past weekend actually. My husband who is my best friend and has loved me no matter what size I am told me that I was no longer attractive to him. That he was sick of my weight, and that our daughter was embarrased by me and has to defend me when people ask her if her mom is "the fat mom"
Suffice to say, any past insults by strangers and "well meaning friends" became moot.
I am so sorry! That is terrible.0 -
@eddieeats I hope it was in that moment you broke up with her. She sounds like a horrible human being! Gah it made me furious reading your story. All those ladies in class including your ex-gf are *kitten*. I wish you luck in your weight loss journey!0
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having a stranger come up to me and rub my belly and ask me when the baby is due0
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