your worse or humiliating experience when fat?
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Also was when my friends (male and female) talk about their weight and how fat they are, when I'm just sitting in the corner wanting the world to swallow me up as I'm (or was now) the heaviest out of all of them
This. My.entire.life.
Ever scan a room to see if your'e the fattest one there?
I do.
Every time.
On another note:
Thanks everyone for your support. I've decided that my husband's comments while very hurtful for me, were also very painful for him to have to say to me. When we married, we promised each other honesty above all. Now that I've had a couple of days to think, I've decided that it's only made me more determined.
Afterall..... he is my best friend for a reason right?0 -
Everyone in my family teasing me all the time and being generally known by how fat I was. Also losing all self esteem and thinking I could never date.0
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Sitting in a waiting room, waiting to board a flight, a woman (not small herself), saying : 'I don't want to be rude dear, but I hope I don't have to sit next to you on the flight.' Me: 'Why?' She: 'You must have to wear one of those belt extender things.' (I don't...not by quite a way).
Boys singing the song: 'Hey fatty boom boom' at me.
The Look...oh The Look.
And the old classic: 'You don't sweat much...for a fat girl.'0 -
Couldn't ride my favorite roller coaster last summer. Had to get off and wait for my nephew to ride alone. It was just the one ride, the seat belt is a little shorter than most. Horrible. It was a wake up call, and is still a motivator for me, but still took me a while to get serious about doing someting.
I had a similar experience, I was at a theme park for my 25th birthday and after queuing for about 40 mins I got into my seat and couldn't pull the harness down. One ride attendant tried to help me and then two of them were trying to push the harness down over my belly. One of them told me to "wiggle back into my seat a bit more" to which I replied "I AM all the way in". They still couldn't get the harness closed so he had to stop and say, very loudly, in front of all the queuing people "I can't let you ride, you're too big" I was humiliated and immediately burst into tears.
The worst thing is I know the people who saw it happen were either laughing at me or thinking "oh, poor fat girl, she mustn't realise how fat she is" Thing is, I tried the 'test seat' they put outside the ride so you can check before you line up I bloody well fit in that one!0 -
The most hurtful one was last year at a 4th of July cook out. My new stepmom, who doesn't speak English as her first language to her credit, pointed out how chubby my arms and hips were to me, but how small my waist was. I thought it was pretty damned rude and told my boyfriend, who said to me "Well just think of her as a kid. She's just being REALLY honest," instead of comforting me. Nothing else has ever made me feel so ashamed as those comments.
The most humiliating though would have been when I was shopping in London and a shop attendant wanted to take my clothes to the dressing room. Some of the stuff was on mislabled hangers, but I was perfectly aware of what size was actually on the tag, and they were oversized loose shirts to boot. The woman flicked through my sizes and told me they were much too small, sized me up and told me what size she thought I was....which was 3 sizes bigger than I needed. I almost smacked the makeup off her face, marched to the dressing room, and made quite a big show of coming out and showing her that the smallest size in her store still fit me. And it did, even though I was 35 lbs heavier then. I'm going back in a few weeks and can't wait to go back to that store and leave with nothing this time because it's all outlandishly huge on me instead of because I'm so angry.0 -
Well, I AM pregnant, but am tired of people commenting on how HUGE I am for my stage of pregnancy (in a shocked voice). I have big babies and my stomach pops out fast, and yes I usually gain too much weight. Anyway, if any stranger dare asks me "when are you due?" before about the last month of pregnancy, I'm going to look at them with a bewildered face and say "I'm.....not....pregnant....."0
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When my niece was little, I over heard my sister telling her how much she was "aunt Tammy's mini me" she used to act just like me. My niece got so upset and started crying because " I dont wanna be fat like aunt Tammy!"0
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When I was substitute teaching for a kindergarten class I had a student come up to me and pat my stomach saying "There's a baby in there." I was so...OMG I had to reassure the girl that I was not pregnant I was fat. Kids say the darn-ed-est things!0
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I'm an ER nurse and in saying this I see ALOT of pregnant ladies.....
I get asked WEEKLY, "How far along are you?!" "Oh your pregnant too?!" Or worse! Some of the doctors I have worked with... "I didn't know you were expecting!" Me.... And almost always my response "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat."
Never again! This sucks! I'm short and carry all my weight in my mid section.
I swear once I get in shape.... The only time I will ever be asked this again is when I am pregnant and lucky enough to even get there.
It's happen to me several times too. Only I work in a bar:( I think about it while struggling through ab workouts.0 -
My most humiliating experience with being fat had to be when I ran into an ex boyfriend. The guy and I had dated for 2 years and the relationship ended sourly. I was happy to hear that he had moved miles and miles away. He married and had a few children and was successful.
Well, four years later he visited his hometown (where I still reside). It was mid summer and I had just got finished swimming. I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner and that is where I saw him.
At this point in life I had no idea of how overweight I actually was. I saw him pointing and laughing at me with his mouth ajar. I couldn't understand why he and his wife were laughing but it was making me uncomfortable because I knew it was about me.
Later that night I received a link to my ex facebook page where he was describing in detail at how fat I was. He mentioned that I had a year worth of cottage cheese on my legs and ten rolls. Even his wife was participating in the roast of me. I was devastated at that point and I was very depressed for several days. At that moment I realized that I was no longer the thin teenage girl that I used to be. I realized I could no longer eat anything that I desired.
This was by far the most humiliating weight related experience that I've ever had happen!!!0 -
My family were commenting on my weight-gain behind my back when my little cousin (3yrs old) overheard and started saying "amy fat" over and over. The worse part though was my aunty encouraging it and other relatives finding it hilarious.
That is absolutely deplorable, you family should be ashamed of themselves. You keep doing what you’re doing; you’ll get the last laugh!
V/r,
DW0 -
I've been a fan of those Amazonian women from Futurama for a while!I'll throw my story in (and break my silence, hehe). When I was 15, a few male classmates decided it'd be absolutely hilarious to make up a topical insult and call me "Belgian Blue" since mad cow disease was making headlines at the time. I'd been called variations on "fat cow" before (all through grades 1-6), but that was a whole new level of awful. I wasn't terribly fat (74 kg at 168 cm tall back then) at the time, but I was tall for my age and rather sturdily built, so being compared to a giant bull really stung.
These days, I'm at peace with my wide shoulders (they balance my hips so I'm an hourglass rather than a pear) and proud of being tall (I'm 173 cm these days), but that insult still echoes in my ears. I'm painfully aware of being ~15 kg overweight and my self-esteem is close to non-existent. My sister and my mother are tiny and lean, and that really doesn't help. I feel like one of the Amazons from Futurama next to them. (Well, except for the mohawks. And the tendency to inflict death by snu snu.
)
The endless potential for cruelty that people have is something I'll never understand.0 -
Have dealt with it my whole life. Earliest memory of it in 5th grade with 2 girls pushing me against the wall of a building at school and slapping my face while they called me "fatty". Being called fat while driving my car by boys, being referred to as the "fat friend" since all my girl friends are gorgeous and naturally in shape. Most recently, when a girlfriend from work asked me to go shopping with her here in Buckhead. We went to this adorable little high-end 2nd hand store... where i realized they don't carry anything bigger than a size 8. She spent the trip trying on and buying the cutest name-brand items at bargain prices while i watched and left empty handed, feeling ashamed and angry. Every time i look at a photo of myself I'm embarrassed... and having sex? All I can say is that most of my life I've been more concerned with what my partner will think of when he sees my fatness than anything else.0
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When I asked when I was due, I was not pregnant0
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My most humiliating experience with being fat had to be when I ran into an ex boyfriend. The guy and I had dated for 2 years and the relationship ended sourly. I was happy to hear that he had moved miles and miles away. He married and had a few children and was successful.
Well, four years later he visited his hometown (where I still reside). It was mid summer and I had just got finished swimming. I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner and that is where I saw him.
At this point in life I had no idea of how overweight I actually was. I saw him pointing and laughing at me with his mouth ajar. I couldn't understand why he and his wife were laughing but it was making me uncomfortable because I knew it was about me.
Later that night I received a link to my ex facebook page where he was describing in detail at how fat I was. He mentioned that I had a year worth of cottage cheese on my legs and ten rolls. Even his wife was participating in the roast of me. I was devastated at that point and I was very depressed for several days. At that moment I realized that I was no longer the thin teenage girl that I used to be. I realized I could no longer eat anything that I desired.
This was by far the most humiliating weight related experience that I've ever had happen!!!
Be happy he is an ex, you certainly deserve someone much better... To me, they are the truly ugly ones...0 -
Visited a theme park with my average sized friends about two years ago and we went on one of those Merry Go rounds with the seats on long chains. The bum baskets were so small that when I sat down I didn't fit in easily. Everybody had sat down though and I was embarrassed to leave ... so I pushed my hips into the seat which was agony. When the ride lifted off and the gravity pushed me down ... it hurt a lot! I'm a size 18 now as I was then but I want to change that! 8lbs lost which only 10% but I got my mind set on doing it this time!0
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My most humiliating experience with being fat had to be when I ran into an ex boyfriend. The guy and I had dated for 2 years and the relationship ended sourly. I was happy to hear that he had moved miles and miles away. He married and had a few children and was successful.
Well, four years later he visited his hometown (where I still reside). It was mid summer and I had just got finished swimming. I stopped by the grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner and that is where I saw him.
At this point in life I had no idea of how overweight I actually was. I saw him pointing and laughing at me with his mouth ajar. I couldn't understand why he and his wife were laughing but it was making me uncomfortable because I knew it was about me.
Later that night I received a link to my ex facebook page where he was describing in detail at how fat I was. He mentioned that I had a year worth of cottage cheese on my legs and ten rolls. Even his wife was participating in the roast of me. I was devastated at that point and I was very depressed for several days. At that moment I realized that I was no longer the thin teenage girl that I used to be. I realized I could no longer eat anything that I desired.
This was by far the most humiliating weight related experience that I've ever had happen!!!
You should be THANKFUL that your relationship with this JERK didn't work out!!!0 -
I haven't had a dramatic experience, because until recently I've lived a pretty much sheltered life. My most embarrassing experiences have been seeing people I haven't seen since I was smaller, a waiter trying to seat me in a booth at a restaurant, people avoiding eye contact, and going into my teenage son's school.0
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Well there was the time at the beach when Greenpeace showed up and tried to push me back into the water. But seriously, it would be when I was scuba diving and I didn’t have enough weight to allow me to go down, I was to buoyant to sink. Just call me Bob!
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This was years ago, while in nursing school, laying on the floor getting pounded and to the beat of the pounding, the words came out "You-Need-To-Get-Rid-Of-This", I was mortified, ashamed, screamed, "get off of me!". It was the worst experience in my entire life during my sexapades....And this is coming from a nudist who loves the naked temple.0
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These all break my heart but the childhood stories omg!0
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Just this past weekend actually. My husband who is my best friend and has loved me no matter what size I am told me that I was no longer attractive to him. That he was sick of my weight, and that our daughter was embarrased by me and has to defend me when people ask her if her mom is "the fat mom"
Suffice to say, any past insults by strangers and "well meaning friends" became moot.
I'm so very sorry. That's what hurts the most...when the hurt doesn't come from strangers...but from someone you love and hold dear to your heart who is supposed to love you no matter what.
I have a long term boyfriend who is significantly smaller than I am and I *always* feel that he's embarrassed to be seen with me in public and isn't as sexually attracted to me as he used to be. Granted I have no existent self esteem so this could also be just made worse in my head than it truly is.
Regardless, I'm so sorry you're in that situation. Don't give up, just make sure you're doing this for you as well. Not just your husband and daughter (Who are wonderful reasons anyhow).0 -
Last summer I went home for my sister's wedding and was staying at my mom's house. I had gone thrifting with a good girlfriend, and I found this -adorable- little pale yellow sundress with little blue flowers on it. It wasn't a flowy sundress, it was a fitted one. I loved it. I loved how it fit, and how it looked. I had just returned from a military deployment, during which I worked out like crazy and I considered myself in the best shape of my life.
So I'm leaving the house to take my sister to get her hair done, wearing that dress, and my mom looks at me and says "Wow. You have REALLY HEAVY THIGHS."
And I was like "...thanks, mom. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself. I'm gonna...leave...now." It was awful.
As I'm working back down to that level of fitness and that weight, I'm going to get a workout shirt that says "Thunder thighs? B*tch I've got WONDER THIGHS." Because, well...YES. THAT.0 -
There have been many but the worst by far were when my ex husband and his new wife told my kids to please not ever get fat like mom. Then my son (who was little at the time and wasn't intentionally being mean) told me I was big enough to go on that TV show. He was talking about biggest loser.
And then the last one I went lunch with my mother and sister in law and I was too big to fit in the booth and then when we did find a seat I could fit in it broke. I buried myself in food and cried for two days. I hated myself and I have hated myself for way too long!
I also know the look I get it all the time and I hate it.0 -
My nanna regularly finds ways to remark upon my weight at family gatherings in the loudest possible voice. Its gone beyond embarrassing to being quite funny now. I look forward to the next inventively phrased snarky remark. My boyfriend didn't actually believe me until he saw it for himself. Some examples.....
Christmas - sit down next to nanna, nanna announces to me and the room that I am "nicely plump, but shouldn't let it go any further"
Family birthday - "oh wow, thats quite a plateful. I wish I could eat as much as you!"
Family gathering - Sit down next to nanna (by now I should know better). Nanna squeezes thigh and proclaims "ooh you're sturdy". When asked if this is code for fat, she replies with "well we don't like these skinny minny Victoria Beckham types".
Another family birthday - nanna reaches across, squeezes my upper arm and practically shouts "well you're not losing it, are you!". Boyfriend looks horrified, and quietly notes " I see what you mean now".
It doesn't matter to her whether i'm at my slimmest or fattest, these remarks have spanned all my weight for the last 8 years. Rude!0 -
My nanna regularly finds ways to remark upon my weight at family gatherings in the loudest possible voice. Its gone beyond embarrassing to being quite funny now. I look forward to the next inventively phrased snarky remark. My boyfriend didn't actually believe me until he saw it for himself. Some examples.....
Christmas - sit down next to nanna, nanna announces to me and the room that I am "nicely plump, but shouldn't let it go any further"
Family birthday - "oh wow, thats quite a plateful. I wish I could eat as much as you!"
Family gathering - Sit down next to nanna (by now I should know better). Nanna squeezes thigh and proclaims "ooh you're sturdy". When asked if this is code for fat, she replies with "well we don't like these skinny minny Victoria Beckham types".
Another family birthday - nanna reaches across, squeezes my upper arm and practically shouts "well you're not losing it, are you!". Boyfriend looks horrified, and quietly notes " I see what you mean now".
It doesn't matter to her whether i'm at my slimmest or fattest, these remarks have spanned all my weight for the last 8 years. Rude!
My nana once said to me "that must be jelly 'cus jam doesn't jiggle like that!". I think I was about 13 at the time.0 -
WTF?! I'm so very sorry!!!! I hope those people are no longer in your life.0
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Wow. Where do I start? Um, the first one I can remember was last year. Me and my friends went to Victoria's Secret and I went for moral support plus to kick it with them. I went in and this kid, about 10, 11, or 12, was staring at me. As I was looking for my friends in the store, the kid followed me with his eyes. That was until I found them, the kid started pointing and giggling at me. He said in a loud voice, poking his sister in the shoulder, snickering loud to himself, "What is she doing here? Nothing here can fit her." Then the sister joined in the snickering.
This girl, who moved in the Big House on the property that I live on. Kept looking at me when I was making jokes, later that day, she was giggling when she said, I was fixing to call you 'Precious'. I just looked at her like she was crazy. Then she said, "You do know who Precious is, right?" I looked at her like she was crazier than before, and said coldly, "Yes, I do." She then got uncomfortable and grew silent.
That's not the only disrespectful thing she said to me and that I had to put her in 'her place' about.0 -
How awful is it that this thread is 11 pages long?
After reading your experiences I feel very lucky that I have not had that many comments made about my weight...the only one that I can really think of right now is when I was expecting my first baby (and not at a healthy weight) and a lady giving me a pedicure commented "Why you no take care of yourself before having a baby?" That stung quite a bit.
What these cruel, insensitive people should probably realize is that in most cases no words that they can say are any different than what we say to ourselves. Do they think that we are oblivious to our size?0 -
I've had the expecting-a-baby one a couple of times. Both times I've just said "no, I put on 20 lbs". It's a stupid, personal comment and I can't understand why people feel it's socially acceptable to say it.
I've also had the long stream of comments from family (my Mom and sister, who are both slimmer than me a bit). It started when I was a teenager, and never stopped. It doesn't humiliate me exactly. It's sad a bit, but mostly makes me extremely angry. How dare the two women in my life who mean more to me than any others essentially place their value of me purely on a number on a set of scales? It never ceases to astonish me that they could ignore my personality, my achievements, my wonderful daughter, my fabulous marriage and the great life my husband and I have built for ourselves in a different country no less. I'll never measure up, because they can only judge based on physical appearance. Likewise, I understand that excess weight contributes to several serious health problems, but it REALLY irritates me that my Mom and sister assume that if I lose 20, 30, 40 lbs (whatever), I'm virtually guaranteed to never die, and that every ailment I ever get (including a torn meniscus I'm dealing with now grrr) is due to my weight.
It has poisoned our relationships. I don't have the bonds with them I'd like, and I refuse to discuss weight or appearance with them. I don't intend to tell them I've lost a lot of weight, because they'll just make some comment like "that's not enough", and well, it reduces our relationship to an assessment of physical appearance AGAIN.
And as an aside, I proactively teach my daughter not to judge others based on appearance, explaining why and how hurtful it can be for other people. We don't allow any mention of weight or diet in our house, not from us nor guests. (My husband "slipped" the other day but made up for it later by chatting with her about health..)0
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