I'm a failure

Don't see it as screwing up, simply a 3 day blip, we all have them.
Just simply consider today as a new day and the last 3 days don't matter.

Having a couple of off days does not mean you should give up, so just get back up again and do something about it.

You decide.

12 pounds are not "nothing". You couldn't have washed that accomplishment in three days. That little success story of yours.

And even if you did? You may start again. For yourself. To write a success story by yourself. To FEEL like a success. You didn't do anything that the majority of the people here, yes, also the "success story" ones, didn't do.

So, if they can, you can. Because they are not special person. They are like you, like me. They lost control of themselves, they decided to gain it back, they fought, they lost sometimes... but decided to go on anyway. That is the only point.

You can start again. Starting again IS a victory.
The only real failure, is to stop.

Go on!

You're not a failure - look at how far you've already come... & you must have progressed if you're backsliding. Try setting yourself smaller goals. Telling yourself you've got 28lbs to lose with no clear end date in mind is a lot more daunting than saying you want to lose 4lbs by the end of the month. Keep going fowards, you can do it! :happy:

If you're trying to tackle everything at once, it's no wonder the results suck. Try to figure out which is the most acute thing to change and focus on that. For good measure, add a simple one such as tracking daily glasses of water and you can build momentum from that.

Once you're on a roll, it's much easier to ask for more from yourself, but be realistic. It's a lifestyle change and the success stories are the result of usually months or years of hard work. Be patient.

Realise that 1+1+1 is the same as 2+1 or 3+0; you can reach the same result in many ways and for purposes of lifestyle change I'd say 1+1+1 is the most humane way to create permanent change.

ETA
Read this, by Kelly McGonigal for Yoga International:
http://yogainternational.com/article/view/how-to-create-a-sankalpa
Forget the "goals" and "resolutions".

Screwing up implies that you did something wrong or bad. This journey your on takes time, and some days will be better than others. Just because you have a bad day, or a few bad days, doesn't mean you've undone all your work.

Today is a new day, fresh, with no mistakes in it yet. YOU have the power to make it better than the last three days! Even if its something small like eating healthier today, or going for a walk. Small steps, one day at a time will help you get to your goal. We are all our own worst critics. Forgive yourself, brush yourself off, and continue on because YOU'RE NOT A FAILURE.

No one is perfect. Respond to the lapse by redoubling your efforts toward a positive step today. Every day is an opportunity to take a positive step forward. Big or small, make it a step forward and by the time you know it, all of the positive steps will have taken you somewhere wonderful.

What you cannot do, is wallow in self pity. When your friends see you progress, no one will care that there were some bumps in the road.

I'm really, really stubborn and have an incredibly hard time asking for help. Proof that I'm on the right path is that I've started to reach out more and I just wanted to add that you should be proud for recognising what's happening this early on, sucking up "pride" and asking for help. It's not an easy thing to do, because it exposes us to judgment and if we are vulnerable enough, said judgment can set us completely off course.

Look up Brené Brown's talk on vulnerability, ted.com, too. It's glorious.

You are not alone in this.

Part of the process is recognizing what is happening and picking yourself up when you fall.

When I do that, I try to keep track mentally of all the crap I'm eating/drinking and log it the best I can even if it's at the end of the day. And write a note in the comment at the bottom "stressed out" "still on the booze binge" as a reminder of was going on.

I figure when I snap out of the funk and get my spunk back, I can look back and try to figure out what was happening and maybe learn something to try to change things for the future. The more we recognize the pattens of what got us unhealthy the better I figure. It's a process.

Ususally for me those bad eating periods will last about 4 days or so and I'll start feeling so physically crappy I have to change things around and get back on the wagon because I feel so sluggish.

I deal with this myself a lot. I try to remind myself that weight loss isn't a straight line. It veers off and comes back. It's a natural part of weight loss and is perhaps one of the hardest realities to accept. We're so used to hearing the end results of success stories, that it's easy to forget the struggles that are involved, the ups and downs.

I think you also need to celebrate the small victories, like exercising more days that not or going a whole day without soda, etc. Think of where you where and where you are now. On the surface it may not feel like you've made changes, even when you're falling back into those old habits, but I bet if you look closely enough even those bad habits have shifted some. I look back on my binges that I have now and compare with the past and even though I want to get down on myself for those bad habits, they have changed a little. I only binge on one bag of chips. I drink seltzer instead of soda. I don't have to binge until I feel like my stomach is going to burst. Those are all little bits of progress that are going to help me succeed in the long run. One of my weight loss matras is: 85% of the time is success. It gives me some room to breathe when I slip but it also keeps me focused on my goals.

Also, it sounds like you may have a case of absolutism like I do. Where I either need to be completely self-sabotaging or the perfect diet princess, both of which are not good and are just extremes. You're not a failure by any means, you just need to find the right balance thand tools that work for you, which takes some time and some patience. Perhaps instead of focusing on the numbers on the scale you make goals like trying to limit the days you take off from exercising or lengethening the number of days between junkfood overeating, etc.