My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday
Replies
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Hummmm.....first posted in January, added comment in April. Wonder if they're still together.
Un-acceptable comments anyway.
No ma'am, I left him in January and I kicked his *kitten* to the curb!
:flowerforyou: :drinker:
EFF YEAH, get it!0 -
You hero! Really impressed!0
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Hummmm.....first posted in January, added comment in April. Wonder if they're still together.
Un-acceptable comments anyway.
No ma'am, I left him in January and I kicked his *kitten* to the curb!
Yay!0 -
No ma'am, I left him in January and I kicked his *kitten* to the curb!
I was reading through this thread and my heart was just breaking as I spent 8 years with a giant *kitten* who treated me l ike crap and made me feel worthless. (Not in the weight dept but in other areas).
I was trying so hard to figure out a way to get it across that what your (now ex) husband did was abusive and that it probably wouldn't stop.
I can't say how glad I am for you (even though I know you not from Adam) that you've figured that out on your own and took action. HELLZ YES!
And great job on the weight loss! 41lbs in 5 months is kickass! 0 -
WE all teach people HOW to treat us... WE decide for ourselves whether we can accept how someone chooses to interact. IF we accept it we do nothing.. the alternative... step up and express your self with the truth you live. IF that other person chooses to ignore your truth...what are they telling you? simple concept... easy to extoll NOT so easy to live it unless YOU choose to live your life with intent instead of by default... This thread was begun by providing one side of a story... THE real question IS...what was your part in the argument?0
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Woo hoo!! You lost the best weight of all! The big *kitten* jerk of a husband! Way to go honey! Proud of you! :flowerforyou:0
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He sounds like a doozy. Kick him to the curb! *hugs*
Don't ever let anyone else determine your self worth! Keep your head held high.0 -
WE all teach people HOW to treat us... WE decide for ourselves whether we can accept how someone chooses to interact. IF we accept it we do nothing.. the alternative... step up and express your self with the truth you live. IF that other person chooses to ignore your truth...what are they telling you? simple concept... easy to extoll NOT so easy to live it unless YOU choose to live your life with intent instead of by default... This thread was begun by providing one side of a story... THE real question IS...what was your part in the argument?
Stop victimizing bullies. People don't choose to be abused.0 -
Congrats on all the weight loss (including the *kitten*)!0
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Whether it was out of anger or not, his remarks show a lack of respect. So make sure you respect yourself, whether you lose weight or not. You are special and think of all the positive things about you.
Calling names is bullying. This website is hugely motivating by tracking food intake and exercise and progress. If you want weight loss for yourself, then go for it! Be what you want to be.0 -
Stop victimizing bullies. People don't choose to be abused.
WERD.
QFT.0 -
WE all teach people HOW to treat us... WE decide for ourselves whether we can accept how someone chooses to interact. IF we accept it we do nothing.. the alternative... step up and express your self with the truth you live. IF that other person chooses to ignore your truth...what are they telling you? simple concept... easy to extoll NOT so easy to live it unless YOU choose to live your life with intent instead of by default... This thread was begun by providing one side of a story... THE real question IS...what was your part in the argument?
No need.0 -
His young age alone doesn't make him more desireable than you. Rethink your attributes. Do you have female friends you can hang around with and a social life separate from your husband? Our outside life brings extra support to us and boosts our already existing confidence.0
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MHello,
You're right. People say hurtful things. People judge. Your husband knows you better than anyone. He pushed a button he knew would get to you. I realize you've heard this so many times, but you need to do this for you. You need to allow yourself a moment to cry it out and then move on. Use that as a push to exercise and do better for you. Don't starve yourself. Fasting because you feel led to do it is one thing. BUT starving yourself because someone made you feel less than is not healthy, smart, or good. Stop letting yourself be the victim. You are way more powerful than you realize.0 -
Congrats on all the weight loss (including the *kitten*)!
I concur0 -
I know you guys haven't heard from me in a while on this board especially. I left my husband in January 2014, and currently going through a nasty divorce (as you can imagine the type of boy he is calling me a fat *kitten* etc., the divorce isn't going to go smoothly). I would like to update you all on my success. On this site, my starting weight was around 165 but then I went up to 183 in January. I got rid of all that negativity, and I have gained self-esteem, and self-confidence again. I have actually lost 41lbs since January (even though my ticker says 30). I'm only 5' 4", so that's a significant weight loss in my opinion. I've dropped 11% body fat in less than 5 months.
I couldn't believe I had received over 300 replies on this blog, and SO many were about leaving him. Everyone should work their hardest on a marriage/relationship, but physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse is NOT acceptable. And I kicked that SOB to the curb! I'm standing taller, walking prouder than I ever have.
Thanks for the support MFP friends,
Chiefs Chick
Good for you, girlfriend. Good luck finding someone that you deserve!0 -
This story has a great ending, you ditched the d-bag and moved on... if only 80% of the other poster's could do the same! 0
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This is awesome. Not that he treated you like crap but that you had the courage to get out now before it continued. It would have been really bad for your kids as well . Hugs0
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We all say hurtful things in heat of moment in argument but what bothers me is his demand to control where you go. Get in the bedroom umm you're not his child. Some people will always have hurtful ways of announcing someones weight issue. But even in the heat of the moment telling you what to do and when is not a good thing its a red flag about his values and such.
Hopefully it was just all in trying to defuse the situation and I wasn't there and certainly agree no need to husband bash but something not quite right there.0 -
I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for everyone to see however I am so hurt by this I don’t know how to handle it all. We got into an argument and it escalated fast where he told me to "waddle your fat @zz in the bedroom" and "You're so fat how can you see your feet?" and a few other hurtful things.:brokenheart: (I have gained 40lbs since him and I met.) I know he said this out of anger and we all say things that hurt, (I'm no saint) but it has completely changed me over night.
I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours but it's okay because I have decided to fast and detox my body. :drinker: Anyone experience this with positive results?
Anyhow, my self-esteem is completely out the window, I don't want him to see me naked or even touch me anymore. I have always been a strong woman, but I am 36 and he is only 28 so he can get any young girl he wants so this also puts more pressure on me. I don't want to bash my husband, I just want some encouraging advice. I feel horrible!:sad:
Thank you guys for listening.
I assure you he CONNOT get any young girl he wants HE is a JERK0 -
Based on your transformation, I think you know what he said isn't true. So thats wildly inappropriate. As far as detoxing goes, I've done it twice. Have felt great. Head to GNC and get a juice cleanse.0
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I know you guys haven't heard from me in a while on this board especially. I left my husband in January 2014, and currently going through a nasty divorce (as you can imagine the type of boy he is calling me a fat *kitten* etc., the divorce isn't going to go smoothly). I would like to update you all on my success. On this site, my starting weight was around 165 but then I went up to 183 in January. I got rid of all that negativity, and I have gained self-esteem, and self-confidence again. I have actually lost 41lbs since January (even though my ticker says 30). I'm only 5' 4", so that's a significant weight loss in my opinion. I've dropped 11% body fat in less than 5 months.
I couldn't believe I had received over 300 replies on this blog, and SO many were about leaving him. Everyone should work their hardest on a marriage/relationship, but physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse is NOT acceptable. And I kicked that SOB to the curb! I'm standing taller, walking prouder than I ever have.
Thanks for the support MFP friends,
Chiefs Chick
If his calling you names is hurtful and wrong, what is you calling him names? As you admitted in the OP ... you're no saint when it comes to saying things that hurt.0 -
It actually sounds like the kind of thing a man who is having an affair will say to make you push him away, so that he feels justified in what he's doing.
Either way, he needs to stop being so cruel to you. That's abuse, plain and simple. I'm proud of you for getting out of this toxic relationship!0 -
Just break up.
Glad you took some solid advice.
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MHello,
You're right. People say hurtful things. People judge. Your husband knows you better than anyone. He pushed a button he knew would get to you. I realize you've heard this so many times, but you need to do this for you. You need to allow yourself a moment to cry it out and then move on. Use that as a push to exercise and do better for you. Don't starve yourself. Fasting because you feel led to do it is one thing. BUT starving yourself because someone made you feel less than is not healthy, smart, or good. Stop letting yourself be the victim. You are way more powerful than you realize.
That's starving/fasting thing was said over a year ago. I've lost this weight from a healthy diet and exercise 4-6 times a week. :-)0 -
I know you guys haven't heard from me in a while on this board especially. I left my husband in January 2014, and currently going through a nasty divorce (as you can imagine the type of boy he is calling me a fat *kitten* etc., the divorce isn't going to go smoothly). I would like to update you all on my success. On this site, my starting weight was around 165 but then I went up to 183 in January. I got rid of all that negativity, and I have gained self-esteem, and self-confidence again. I have actually lost 41lbs since January (even though my ticker says 30). I'm only 5' 4", so that's a significant weight loss in my opinion. I've dropped 11% body fat in less than 5 months.
I couldn't believe I had received over 300 replies on this blog, and SO many were about leaving him. Everyone should work their hardest on a marriage/relationship, but physical, sexual, verbal and emotional abuse is NOT acceptable. And I kicked that SOB to the curb! I'm standing taller, walking prouder than I ever have.
You're damn straight I called him a name. SOB, *kitten*, whatever applies! Big difference from calling someone a DB or SOB, Azzhole, B*tch, then to go cut throat like a weight comment or tell me "you can't even keep a baby" because I had a miscarriage. So, move on...
Thanks for the support MFP friends,
Chiefs Chick
If his calling you names is hurtful and wrong, what is you calling him names? As you admitted in the OP ... you're no saint when it comes to saying things that hurt.0 -
28 or 8?
Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.
Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.
The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.
And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.
as someone who escaped an emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive relationship, I concur. This is emotional abuse and an attempt to control you. Abusers destroy the self-esteem of their victims, trying to keep them under their control. Victims then believe they deserve the treatment... And they stay under the control of the abuser. I won't tell you that you need to leave, but as someone who left and tried to reconcile *seven * times, I can say with certainty that unless HE recognizes his own abusive tendencies, and chooses to get help, this won't change.0 -
Of course that'd knock ur confidence how can it not...... but when ur arguing you do tend to say the one thing you know will
really hurt the person cos you want to get to them bad.......and he clearly knew what to say.
I use to get that my kids father would say things in an argument but then say he didn't mean it afterwards. but then he'd do it again
n I've finally realised that his just being an Ahole. and now if he says anything I say 'yes and.......' repeatedly, n yup it annoys him so much the taunts keep coming n I keep repeating myself. funny how two simple wrds can bug someone. Then obviously I am called a b***h to which I reply 'and what do you want me to do about it I am what I am and I ain't changing for no one' and anyway thats his opinion. One person.
So i say be proud of who u are hun don't let one grumpy person make you feel unworthy from one woman to another we both know
some ppl know how to play mind games n to drag us down. And you are NOT going to let him bring you down
your a confident beautiful person and the fact he can be that hurtful means his the one with the problem not you.
I've lost weight but am stuck on 10.5st its a bugger I no, but then I see women bigger than me with such confidence
n I think I wish I was like them. there looking gorgeous flaunting what they got. Im not sure what ur body size is but what
ever it is you dress up go out and show ppl what ur made off
And I guarentee wen he realises that you don't care what he says or thinks he'll be kissing your a** and suckin up
to you.0 -
Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.
Yeah, that's real life....0
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