"I knew you'd lose weight and leave me."

OnTheWayToPerfection
OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
in Motivation and Support
Those words came from someone who said, "I'm no longer sexually attracted to you since you've gained weight."
Those words came from someone who never told me I was beautiful.
Those words came from someone who never thanked me and took all for granted.
Those words came from someone who NEVER cheered me on during my weightloss journey.
Those words came from my, now ex, husband.

When I was at my lowest weight and begging for his attention, I left him.
I left him then I bloomed into something gorgeous and vibrant.
I've never felt so beautiful, happy, sexy, free....

Now I'm with someone who becomes noticeably speechless when I try on a new dress.
I'm constantly told that I'm beautiful.
I'm constantly wanted.
Now I'm with someone who believes entirely in me.

Get the toxins out. Sometimes it's easier said than done.
This has been my motto for relationships:
If you have the first inkling of doubt, get out.
Doubt, whatever it may be, but trust your instincts...

...and be free like I am :)
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Replies

  • Bexchubb
    Bexchubb Posts: 55 Member
    Well said girl! I can identify with this COMPLETELY. Hear hear! :drinker:
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    Good for you!! :)
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    well said
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Good for you. His issues go deeper than your weight, though.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,404 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.
  • amielou42
    amielou42 Posts: 36 Member
    Yes, and amen, and "here here", and GOOD FOR YOU. Thank you for sharing, because your words will probably touch more people than you realise. There's too many people out there with toxic words. Time to start loving ourselves and others.

    All the best for your new relationship. It sounds amazing. Bless you!
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    You also don't know how a man thing works, and I don't agree with that.
  • OnTheWayToPerfection
    OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
    Very much so. It was a toxic relationship with many problematic attributes on both ends, but I never made him loss the feeling of self-worth or self-love.

    Life is much happier and more peaceful when you and your partner want the same out of life.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    Yes, it's better to just stay with somebody who doesn't make you happy or fulfill your needs. It's best to just overlook their terrible behavior because divorce is the worst thing ever.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    Those words came from someone who said, "I'm no longer sexually attracted to you since you've gained weight."
    Those words came from someone who never told me I was beautiful.
    Those words came from someone who never thanked me and took all for granted.
    Those words came from someone who NEVER cheered me on during my weightloss journey.
    Those words came from my, now ex, husband.

    When I was at my lowest weight and begging for his attention, I left him.
    I left him then I bloomed into something gorgeous and vibrant.
    I've never felt so beautiful, happy, sexy, free....

    Now I'm with someone who becomes noticeably speechless when I try on a new dress.
    I'm constantly told that I'm beautiful.
    I'm constantly wanted.
    Now I'm with someone who believes entirely in me.

    Get the toxins out. Sometimes it's easier said than done.
    This has been my motto for relationships:
    If you have the first inkling of doubt, get out.
    Doubt, whatever it may be, but trust your instincts...

    ...and be free like I am :)

    Was he different before you got married or did you expect him to change? (serious question)
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    Fortunately for society, it doesn't matter what you agree with, the law says you can get a divorce!
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    It's clearly better to stay in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship.
  • OnTheWayToPerfection
    OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
    To each their own.
    I'm happy that I'm away from that toxin that always made me feel worthless. I'm stronger than that!
    Life is happier when you and your partner want the same out of life.

    I hope you're happy with yours :)
  • thavoice
    thavoice Posts: 1,326 Member
    You know the food that lowers sex drive for a woman is dont ya?

    Wedding cake.




    Good for her that she got out of the bad situation, but it usually just isnt a one way street when things go bad.


    Just saying......
  • LolBroScience
    LolBroScience Posts: 4,537 Member
    To each their own.
    I'm happy that I'm away from that toxin that always made me feel worthless. I'm stronger than that!
    Life is happier when you and your partner want the same out of life.

    I hope you're happy with yours :)

    You did the right thing. Congrats on the physique and happiness :)
  • OnTheWayToPerfection
    OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
    He was the same. I was naive and thought this is as good as it gets.

    Boy, I was TOTALLY wrong. Life is a dream now
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    Yes, it's better to just stay with somebody who doesn't make you happy or fulfill your needs. It's best to just overlook their terrible behavior because divorce is the worst thing ever.

    Its better to be alone than to wish you were.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
    Bloom, girl. Enjoy being the flower you've always wanted to be. :flowerforyou:

    tumblr_ltoce9Cfab1r5rdajo1_500.gif


    I did the same thing in 1992, after 13 years in a relationship where I questioned myself every day. I have a husband now that not only appreciates me, but has seen me through the changes of the last 2 years. I know you're not advocating divorce. It's like someone lifts a rock off of you and you can breathe and see the sun again.
  • OnTheWayToPerfection
    OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
    Please read my replies to others. I'm not putting blame on a one-way street.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    1. Good for you, although if he was always this way then the marriage was likely a bad idea in the first place.

    2. No one is advocating divorce, OR a lack of **** knowledge. I mean, that's just ridiculous. You HAVE to know what to do with those things! It's a commandment or something.

    3. I now hate the word "toxin" even more than before and I didn't think that was possible.
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
    ♡
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
    This is the only detox I approve of.

    :flowerforyou:
  • thavoice
    thavoice Posts: 1,326 Member
    Please read my replies to others. I'm not putting blame on a one-way street.
    Oh I know. I just wanted to use that line!!!

    I think you and I are similar, but of diff sex of course, in thinking that the other would change.

    Fools we were huh?

    But.....it happens. Not proud of the failing marriage and all and it is tough, but life isnt always going to be easy.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.

    You also don't know how a man thing works, and I don't agree with that.

    23682-Simon-Cowell-burn-gif-eQ3w.gif
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    He was the same. I was naive and thought this is as good as it gets.

    Boy, I was TOTALLY wrong. Life is a dream now

    I gotta say....based on this response I am torn. Good for you for getting out of it. Good for you for making the changes you wanted to make. Shame on you for rushing into marriage without thinking fully about what it entailed and who you wanted to be with. Thank goodness there were no kids involved. Some people are not cheerleaders....they are not going to tell you how great and wonderful and beautiful you are. Many try to do it through actions and some do not at all.....but it is still up to both parties involved to determine if it is a good match before getting married.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.
    I'm sorry? Are women(or men) supposed to stay with broken people until we become broken?

    Some things can be fixed
    some can't
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    Doubt is an interesting feeling/thought in a relationship. I do have that mentality that if you have doubt - get out. However...I just can not give up that easily because I have the (normal) feeling of doubt.

    I guess it depends...Doubt to me, is a definite red flag.
  • GBrady43068
    GBrady43068 Posts: 1,256 Member
    Uhm, it sounds like you're advocating divorce, and I don't agree with that.
    I wish we as a society would spend as much effort holding up the standard of a fantastic MARRIAGE as we do of the "fairy-tale wedding". And that's all I'm going to say about that...
  • OnTheWayToPerfection
    OnTheWayToPerfection Posts: 115 Member
    He was the same. I was naive and thought this is as good as it gets.

    Boy, I was TOTALLY wrong. Life is a dream now

    I gotta say....based on this response I am torn. Good for you for getting out of it. Good for you for making the changes you wanted to make. Shame on you for rushing into marriage without thinking fully about what it entailed and who you wanted to be with. Thank goodness there were no kids involved. Some people are not cheerleaders....they are not going to tell you how great and wonderful and beautiful you are. Many try to do it through actions and some do not at all.....but it is still up to both parties involved to determine if it is a good match before getting married.

    I knew what marriage entailed. I know what "till death do us part" means.
    But I was also pressured by my Christian family. We were living together and trying to start a business...
    Realize that everything isn't always black and white.

    Oh and he said he always wanted to run a business of his own and he got it.
    Did he work? Absolutely not. I got $20k from my father's death and it was GONE in less than a year because he didn't work and I paid for everything... how did I see that one coming when I was fed BS...
  • ThinLizzie0802
    ThinLizzie0802 Posts: 863 Member
    He was the same. I was naive and thought this is as good as it gets.

    Boy, I was TOTALLY wrong. Life is a dream now

    I gotta say....based on this response I am torn. Good for you for getting out of it. Good for you for making the changes you wanted to make. Shame on you for rushing into marriage without thinking fully about what it entailed and who you wanted to be with. Thank goodness there were no kids involved. Some people are not cheerleaders....they are not going to tell you how great and wonderful and beautiful you are. Many try to do it through actions and some do not at all.....but it is still up to both parties involved to determine if it is a good match before getting married.


    Oh GTF over yourself.
    This isn't the "Judge my happy moment" thread

    WTG girl.

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