Weightloss doesn't always lead to happiness.
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I wasn't unhappy when I was obese (still overweight now, just not obese), but I'm happier now. There's a definite sense of accomplishment there...not only because I've lost weight, but because I've became more active...and that sense of accomplishment makes me feel better about myself, which makes me happier. But with surgery I don't think you get that sense of accomplishment. I still have the same problems I always have had...money, jobs, two teenage daughters...those things haven't changed. But what has changed is that I'm happier with myself.0
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Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I see people who've had weight loss surgery or others who have lost weight and then gained it back I have to think that there are other issues at play. People get frustrated because they can't eat the way they used to, so they haven't really dealt with the issue of overeating very well. Most people became overweight because of overeating and not being as active as they should be. You have to be willing to accept that you have to change your lifestyle as a whole if you want to do this by means of surgery or otherwise. If you are not willing to make the adjustments it doesn't really help.0 -
I agree, the same problems are there like with my family but I am a much happier person. It feels great being able to wear my clothes and I gained more confidence,took another job. I also try to find solutions to stuff now rather than eat and this has felt really good not running to food like a drug. Yep, I am overall a much happier person. I guess everyone is different and it may just take this man some time.0
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I think what matters is to know yourself. If I feel depressed all the time anyway, and I know that feeling monstrous and ungainly and like my body doesn't fit properly is making that worse, losing weight makes me happy. Getting lighter makes me happy, and eating sensibly makes me feel accomplished instead of restricted. Everyone's different, though, I guess.0
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Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I see people who've had weight loss surgery or others who have lost weight and then gained it back I have to think that there are other issues at play. People get frustrated because they can't eat the way they used to, so they haven't really dealt with the issue of overeating very well. Most people became overweight because of overeating and not being as active as they should be. You have to be willing to accept that you have to change your lifestyle as a whole if you want to do this by means of surgery or otherwise. If you are not willing to make the adjustments it doesn't really help.
It isn't just that they haven't dealt with the issue of overeating, and for some it isn't that at all. It's that eating small amounts of food and/or certain types of foods they had no problem with before now makes them sick, or they have horrible heartburn that they didn't have previously, or they have to take a ton of vitamins now because their digestion is poor. And that will never get better.
I know three people who've had weight loss surgery in the past 5 years and none of them has had a good outcome. One nearly died from complications from the surgery. It's such a shame, because while all of them needed to lose a bunch of weight, none were in such poor physical condition that they needed to get the weight off yesterday for health reasons. They could have done it the normal way IF they would have believed they could do it without resorting to the fad diet of the day and exercising until they dropped.0 -
I am a pretty happy person. Right now I feel really happy, even though I still have a long way to go, but I think it's more down the changes I've made to my lifestyle than the resulting weight loss. I also think I'm becoming more successful at work. I think part of this is just coincidental timing, but I also think that both this and my weight loss are mutually beneficial in either direction because my mindset is becoming steadily more determined.0
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I can't believe no one has posted this yet. From Toothpaste for Dinner:
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Agree with OP. The grass ain't always greener...I think with those types of surgeries, the person who actually loses the weight has not addressed the reason they got to that place in the first place and without taking control over that, weight loss is only treating the symptom and not so much the cause. IMHO.
I feel sad for this person, clearly his intentions are all good and he needs some help and support! Good luck OP, I hope he does well under your guidance!
Edited for typo0 -
And to the point:
I can't say I was "unhappy" when I was heavy, but my attitude toward myself was tempered by my weight and my inability to control it. I had a glaringly obvious fault visible to all who looked at me.
When I learned that control and got my weight where I want it (or nearly so!), I am happier because I took charge of a personal failing and fixed it with hard work and dedication. I still have plenty of faults, mind you!0 -
I dont think its the fact that he lost weight. I think its the fact that he had surgery and lost it so fast. If he had just done it by eeating better and working out and lost it slow then maybe he would signing a different tune. He might have still lhad lose skin but I dont think he would have lost all his muscle like that if he had lost it fast.0
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Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight.
That's not a Biggest Loser issue, that's a human being issue. Since around 90% of people regain most, if not all, of their weight back regardless of the rate of loss.
That includes people who do it the slow and steady way, call it a "lifestyle change", and swear they'll never go back to their old ways.
It's an uphill battle for everyone who was once fat and obese. Slow loss, quick loss, diet and exercise, or surgery, we're all facing the same alarming, abysmal odds.0 -
Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Thank you for posting this. My weight loss has been extremely slow, but I feel wonderful. Contrast to when I was a size 4 and miserable, after losing weight fast through diet and exercise. I enjoy my diet, and I celebrate with food, and am not afraid of chocolate cake. I feel kind of sad for folks when I hear them talk about hatred for their bodies, or that they will get a makeover once they've lost all the weight, as if they are not yet "worthy" of looking good at the weight they are. I've had a very postive, drastic change in appearance and is only partly due to weight loss. While I'd like to be at goal asap, you've pointed out that maybe its a good thing its taking a while.0 -
This thread makes me want pizza. j/k Seriously I do believe my life will be a lot better when I reach 150 lbs., it is nice to hear the other side of things but overwhelmingly the pros outweigh the cons.0
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That's terrible, it sounds like he needs a better doctor who could coach him on gradually eating a normal amount of food. It sounds like the problem was never his weight.0
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Emotionally, I actually prefer being fat. I've been fat and not fat many times. On a physical level, of course, there is no question that losing the weight has changed my life for the better. I loved having my weight to hide behind so people didn't make overtly sexual comments to me as much. Regarding men, I also felt like I knew who was real and who was fake more because I know which people liked me for my personality. I also grew distant from a number of friends who stayed bigger because I had to devote time to exercising in the morning and didn't want to party all the time. They also no longer treated me as as part of the club in that I didn't share that bond that brought us together. We could hang out but they no longer felt as comfortable around me. I still hang out with them, but it's not the same. I have other friends with healthier lifestyles, but I miss that camaraderie of being a "big girl."0
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If you don’t love yourself it doesn’t matter if you're fat, skinny, rich or poor; you’ll never be happy.
I personally love myself every chance I get.
:laugh: 0 -
idk, I think the process of losing weight on mfp is making me happier because I feel like I'm slowly becoming a better person as well as a healthier person. I was somebody with no confidence and a lazy procrastinator. That girl is still there but losing weight slowly has shown me I have self control, upped my confidence and has helped me be more responsible.
I don't entirely say that's from losing weight, because the trigger of the need to change my life came before I made that decision to do so. However, the process of actually doing it, and seeing my work is producing results, has made me feel like all the other things I said to myself "I can't do it" before are in the past. I can do them, it will just take hard work, but I know now from experience that it is totally worth it.0 -
I'm lucky. I did not go into this thinking that I was going to be happy. I was already happy. I went into it to be healthy and I'm reaching that goal. Sad that people think that losing weight or having money will make you happy. Sometimes it helps but it's not the ONLY thing, you've actually got to put some personal effort into it.0
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I'm normally just a lurker here on the boards, but this is a topic that really bothers me. I have been in treatment for depression for a couple of years and one of my thoughts is that if I become slimmer, I'll be happier.
I agree with many of the comments in the thread that just losing weight will not bring about happiness, however it does allow for other things that for me would bring me happiness. I want to be able to run, ride a roller coaster, fit in an airline seat without worrying. I want to feel more confident in my appearance since so many people judge on first impressions. These are just some of the things that will bring me satisfaction and some amount of happiness (especially the running). I try to keep my expectations down and not live in a fantasy, but the desire for the activities I can't do now are my main driving force.
The weight loss itself doesn't bring me happiness, but the world it opens up does.0 -
I had a sleeve two months ago. I work out, I watch everything I eat. I don't feel weak or tired. My muscles are increasing in tone, my energy level is increasing and I've become more active in general. I also follow my doctor's orders to the letter, every day, no exceptions. If you have a surgery and do not commit to following the guidelines you will not succeed. I took 10 years to decide to do this, and there's no way I'm not going to get the most out of it. Surgery should only be considered for very specific reasons and not as a cure-all for everyone.
Also, the surgeon should have required a pre-op visit (or more) with a psychiatrist. During surgical follow up I have been repeatedly offered a return visit and my general doc has done the same. Some of the mental issues are different this time for me during weight loss, but nothing I hadn't understood to be a possibility before I had it done.
Do I eat a lot less? You bet, and it's a massive relief. I love food even more now that I'm taking the time to make good choices, savor what's on my plate and take my time.0 -
Again not always true. Look at people on the Biggest Loser. They lost their weight through natural diet and exercise. Yet, 90% of them have gained back a significant amount of weight. And there have been a couple of articles now from former contestants no longer under breach of contract (they couldn't write of what went on during their time on the show for a period of time) who are now ridiculing how it went for them.It seems this story is more about the pitfalls of the gastric bypass. If he had lost the weight through diet and exercise, he'd be much happier & healthier.
I've worked with people who did 180 on their diets, and lost weight and exercised to do it. They looked great and then a few months later they had gained back a significant amount. The usual response was " dieting and exercise became a dread after awhile and I missed having fun at parties and get togethers eating and drinking whatever I felt before. It's either stay lean and fit, or not for me."
There's nothing natural about the biggest loser. TBL is an extreme, they have people telling them what to do all day every day. Their job is losing weight, which isn't reasonable for most people. It doesn't teach people how to live their life once the show is over.
The things your client is unhappy about are a direct result of the procedure he had (can't eat much, massive muscle loss, probably loose skin). I was just saying had he chosen a more natural/gradual approach (diet & exercise), he would still be able to cheat on occasion, and since the weight would have come off more slowly (it took me a year to lose 80 lbs) he would not have lost the muscle mass which you noted.
In the end weight loss isn't a happy pill. Some may decide that it's not worth what they have to give up.0 -
Hi Shadowwalker,
You've lost quite a lot of weight yourself. Pat yourself on the back because even though you may not be at your target yet, you're getting there!
I think it's very important to regard the journey as the reward, and not just the end goal. So as long as you're doing your best to get to where you want to be, you're already winning!
I'm normally just a lurker here on the boards, but this is a topic that really bothers me. I have been in treatment for depression for a couple of years and one of my thoughts is that if I become slimmer, I'll be happier.
I agree with many of the comments in the thread that just losing weight will not bring about happiness, however it does allow for other things that for me would bring me happiness. I want to be able to run, ride a roller coaster, fit in an airline seat without worrying. I want to feel more confident in my appearance since so many people judge on first impressions. These are just some of the things that will bring me satisfaction and some amount of happiness (especially the running). I try to keep my expectations down and not live in a fantasy, but the desire for the activities I can't do now are my main driving force.
The weight loss itself doesn't bring me happiness, but the world it opens up does.0 -
This is what happens when you treat symptoms of problems and not the cause of them. Obesity and weight loss occurs mainly between our ears in the mysterious neural networks of electrochemical impulses that dictate our limbic, endocrine and metabolic systems. Unless the psychosocial causes of obesity are addressed you will forever be chasing symptoms.
Sure, you can oversimply and say its only a matter of calories in versus calories out. That is important, but we are not robots. We are human with all the messy emotions that goes with it. Its more than understanding human metabolism.
I had to hoe two rows during my weight loss. One dug into my psyche to cultivate a better self-esteem. The other dug into the fat. In my not-so humble opinion one will only really succeed when they address both emotional and physical issues.
This, X 1000! Great post!0 -
I dunno, if I had to live off of the tiny amount of food that people with gastric bypass are supposed to eat, I'd be pretty miserable too.
However, I've found that exercising more has definitely helped with my depression, and hopefully it will keep it away.
It's amazing the number of people with gastric alteration that get fat again.0 -
My grandmother is an obsessive book buyer and can't resist a sale. She used to have a bunch of really unusual books that had nothing to do with her life. One I remember as a kid was "The Secret Lives of Fat People" by Mildred Klingman. The parts I remember were basically about all of these people who lost hundreds of pounds who thought their life was going to be so much better once they lost the weight. They thought their marriages would get fixed, they'd have more friends and they would do better in their jobs. Many people lost the weight and found out they were still the same person they always were -- they just didn't have weight as an excuse to blame everything wrong in their lives. Most of these people gained all the weight back and said they were more comfortable being heavy because it was safer.
It made a great impression on me as a kid. I have always been wary of saying "everything would be better if only..."0 -
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/statushttp://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/felonebeats/status
felonebeats Said:
I think a lot of people have gastric bands because they're too lazy to exercise the weight off.When you've dieted and worked hard to lose weight you'll appreciate it more.It's not just about losing the weight but changing your lifestyle as well
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/user/cparter/status
cparter said:
It is hard for me to place judgement on this when there are so many morbid obese people who there seem to be no other way.
felonebeats Said:
Even morbidly obese people can do gentle exercise until they get to a level where they can change up a gear.Too many people want a quick fix without having to put the work in,but putting the work in also installs discipline and all the other things needed to keep the weight off for good.Having an op you're not being educated on nutrition/exercise.You get what you work for imo
You should really attend a weight loss surgery seminar before you go off and say what is or isn't taught. When you start weight loss surgery programs you have go through education on nutrition / exercise. You have to keep a food journal and share it with your nutritionist once a month at your nutrition appointments. You have to lose weight and keep it off and you have to talk to mental health professionals to make sure you are in the right mindset before surgery. There is nothing easy about weight loss surgery at all, and it is not a quick fix at all. It takes an average of 6 months before you can schedule a date for surgery. It is a tool and if it isn't used properly, it will not work. No matter how you lose your weight it has to be a lifestyle change. Diets do not work, only changing your lifestyle works. You cannot go on a diet and lose weight and expect to return to your old ways and habits and not expect to gain back your weight. Even if you are the most disciplined person and are able to lose weight by just eating less you will end up in the same boat as the person the OP is talking about. When you lose weight you will always lose muscle mass unless you exercise and work at keeping muscle mass.
It took me 8 years of trying to lose the weight, to finally lose 70 pounds before I had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery 03/18/2014.
The reason I decided to have it done was because of always feeling hungry and never feeling full. Now, after surgery, I hardly ever feel hungry and feel full easier.
So to make it perfectly clear, I lost 70 pounds before surgery and now have lost 50 pounds post surgery and I still crave bad foods and have to fight myself to not eat the bad stuff, but just like skin, after stretching out your stomach, it will never shrink back to a small size.
I have never posted anything on my profile page about having a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy done because of people like you who say blanket statements about it being the easy way and being lazy. Judgmental people suck, period. I just wish people could live in other people's bodies for a while so they can see everything other go through before they just throw out blanket statements that condemn everyone in a group.
And on the record, I am happy, with both my progress and with my life and the changes I have made. Also, after the surgery immediately after I no longer had to take any of my diabetes, high blood pressure or cholesterol medications and all my labs are right in the middle of target zones now. So yes, even after losing 70 pounds I still had to take meds and now I don't. That alone was worth it for the surgery.0 -
I had a sleeve two months ago. I work out, I watch everything I eat. I don't feel weak or tired. My muscles are increasing in tone, my energy level is increasing and I've become more active in general. I also follow my doctor's orders to the letter, every day, no exceptions. If you have a surgery and do not commit to following the guidelines you will not succeed. I took 10 years to decide to do this, and there's no way I'm not going to get the most out of it. Surgery should only be considered for very specific reasons and not as a cure-all for everyone.
Also, the surgeon should have required a pre-op visit (or more) with a psychiatrist. During surgical follow up I have been repeatedly offered a return visit and my general doc has done the same. Some of the mental issues are different this time for me during weight loss, but nothing I hadn't understood to be a possibility before I had it done.
Do I eat a lot less? You bet, and it's a massive relief. I love food even more now that I'm taking the time to make good choices, savor what's on my plate and take my time.
Thank You for this! Wish there was a "thumbs up" smiley!0 -
I agree with the original sentiment. If I had magically woken up thin after being 200 pounds, I can't say that I would feel much happier (ok maybe I would, a little bit). But I wouldn't have been living a life that could sustain a happy thin person.
However, the things that I've changed in my life in order to lose weight are the things that are making me happy. I'm much more active in general, I have much more energy, I'm excited to push myself physically at the gym or in yoga because I'm getting stronger every week, I'm excited for my meals and for finding new recipes and foods, I get out of the house more (both because I'm not ashamed of myself anymore and because I have more energy), and most importantly, I'm excited because I FINALLY figured out moderation---I can have my cake and lose weight too.
I am so happy I discovered the MFP boards--it has truly been eye opening. I had never heard of TDEE, BMR, etc prior to last January, and was in a never ending cycle of either eat as much as I want when I want, or severe restriction and cardio (which led to giving up and saying *kitten* it, I'll just be fat then). I had no idea how many calories my body could burn in a day, and it never occurred to me to use a food scale.
So while I'm not done losing weight by a long shot, I can honestly say the changes I've made have made me happier because I finally feel like it's sustainable.0 -
I just want to add my two cents as someone who lost almost 100 pounds the old fashioned away (diet and exercise): it's 100% true. It doesn't. My being fat is what was pointed out as what was "wrong" with me my entire life. I've been bullied, verbally abused by my family, you name it, I have likely heard it, so I thought this would change everything. I am more confident and happy now because I don't physically feel so horrible anymore. BUT, things that I thought would be different are not, like dating. I am still ignored. This has been hard to take. Also I am sometimes angry about all the time I have to spend in the gym, lest I gain weight (note that I have no thyroid due to cancer).
During the bulk of my weight loss journey, I was in therapy. I can say unequivocally, that I would not have been able to change my habits without it. Let's be honest: people don't become morbidly obese because they have a healthy relationship with food (medical conditions not included, obviously) or themselves.0
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