Gentlemen, its perfectly ok to comment on my weight loss!
Replies
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oh, boo!
I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:0 -
What's wrong with society? I understand the whole concept of privacy and feeling safe and comfortable in the workplace, but It's getting to where I can't wish someone a pleasant sunny afternoon without worrying that the person may get offended because they have a sensitivity to the sun.0
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geez, bunch of kill joys
USUALLY, if someone is working out and working hard, they don't have any problems with people commenting on weight loss. This is how all the women in my life feel and every woman I have ever met feel as well.
every woman you have ever met...k0 -
oh, boo!
I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:
I'm too busy looking at your hotness to notice any weight loss! ;-)0 -
I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.0
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oh, boo!
I'm still waiting for someone to notice MY weight loss. :grumble:
I'm too busy looking at your hotness to notice any weight loss! ;-)
Why, thank you.
:blushing: :flowerforyou:0 -
When I lost weight previously (through Weight Watchers and a running regimen 3 days a week) an older man at my church asked me if I was eating at all, and that I looked very skinny. It was meant to be complimentary, but regardless it really really bothered me and made me very uncomfortable. If anyone ever mentions any weight loss, I just tell them that I've gotten taller. (Since I'm a teen I can still get away with that excuse, though I actually have gotten significantly taller anyway).
If he was truly concerned about me not eating, he should have approached my parents, not me. If I had had an eating disorder of any kind, saying something like that could have worsened the situation immensely. It was just an insensitive thing to say in any situation, regardless of good intentions.
Anyway, because I have had a weight issue from such a young age, it makes me very uncomfortable when people acknowledge that I've lost weight because it reminds me of my problem in the first place and how overweight I became/have become. I don't like it at all, and it doesn't boost my confidence. What DOES boost my confidence is someone saying they're proud of me for running or making better food choices, not how my body has become as a result. Of course, that's an individual matter, and if anyone has learned something from this thread, it should be that all women do NOT respond the same way to comments on weight loss or healthier habits in general.
My advice: keep your lips zipped.0 -
I posted this on my wall, but I'll put it here too: The thing is, what one person considers a compliment, could really hurt someone's feelings. If someone isn't trying to lose weight, and is self conscious about how they look, then someone innocently congratulating them on losing weight because the light hits them differently that day, could end up doing more harm than good. It's not that you can't compliment someone on something if they bring it to your attention, or are in a conversation about a related topic, but unsolicited compliments rank up there with unsolicited advice.
I'm not one of those people, but they exist, and I'm not going to step on their toes and make them feel bad, just so I can pat myself on the back for spraying my unwanted opinions on the world.0 -
I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.
I smile and say thank you. But if I haven't told you I'm trying to lose weight, I'd much rather that people not say anything. It just feels private. I know it's not the same, but the closest example I can get to why is when someone conceives a child and people ask if they were trying. Um, if it's your business, you'd know.0 -
Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"
Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
please feel free to comment away!!!
Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.
Yes, how sad that there are policies in place to protect an individual's right to privacy regarding their own body.
Interesting comment from a man who states "Sly grins from strange women" is one of his inspirations.0 -
Good for you OP. Be proud, own it. You look great.0
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Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"
Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
please feel free to comment away!!!
Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.
Yes, how sad that there are policies in place to protect an individual's right to privacy regarding their own body.
Interesting comment from a man who states "Sly grins from strange women" is one of his inspirations.
What does that have to do with the behavior of a manager towards his subordinates in the workplace?0 -
Bottom line is this... WORKPLACE IS AN INAPPROPRIATE SETTING TO COMMENT ON ONE'S WEIGHT...
The exception would be if you are involved in a wellness related activity or event.
In a social setting, even if you don't like it, it's unfair to expect people to know whether or not a comment would be accepted as positive or negative. It would be best to be gracious and deflect if you don't like the comments, or embrace if you do.
For some, weight is a very personal issue... Let's face it, we lose weight for ourselves first and foremost. But, it is a very visual and outward facing display of yourself, so others are bound to notice. Hardly anyone would ever comment on weight loss with anything other than the best of intentions. With that in mind, it's best to simply be gracious in you reaction, and either leave the conversation or strut, depending on your preference.0 -
I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.
I smile and say thank you. But if I haven't told you I'm trying to lose weight, I'd much rather that people not say anything. It just feels private. I know it's not the same, but the closest example I can get to why is when someone conceives a child and people ask if they were trying. Um, if it's your business, you'd know.
I guess my second sentence was completely superfluous0 -
What's wrong with society? I understand the whole concept of privacy and feeling safe and comfortable in the workplace, but It's getting to where I can't wish someone a pleasant sunny afternoon without worrying that the person may get offended because they have a sensitivity to the sun.
Agreed0 -
I'm not going to say how I feel about whether or not people remark on my weight loss but I will say that I'm generally not a fan of being thrown under blanket statements of how a woman is.
Odds are you'll compliment someone and they'll be happy about it but there is also a good chance you could say the same thing to another person and upset them. No two people are alike. Judge each circumstance separately.0 -
I back you up, OP! Don't let these haters get to you, there are lots of crazy people on the internet.0
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Congratz on your loss.
I, personally, don't like it. I had a guy at work approach me and actually ask what was wrong with me. Like, acting like I was sick. I told him I just lost weight and he asked me why. I would take no one noticing over a single comment like that. I did this for me and I can see positive comments as a good feeling but I get annoying comments 9/10.
Someone said to me, "I noticed that you lost weight, which I thought was weird because i never thought you needed to, but I didn't want to say anything in case you were sick."
This. Not everyone loses weight from healthy eating and exercise. I try to refrain from comments unless the other person instigates a conversation about his/her own weight loss. I don't really care what other people say, though, and I'll admit I'm still flattered when someone comments positively about my own progress. :blushing:0 -
I'm with piersonj. I would rather people keep their thoughts about my body weight --positive or negative -- to themselves.
I do like when people comment on my weight loss to congratulate me or ask me in a nice way what I've done to lose weight.
What I can't stand are the people who right away assume I've had gastric bypass since I've lost 140+ pounds, ask me constantly how much I weigh, try to give me some fad diet/weight loss tip that is bogus to lose weight (as if losing 140+ pounds myself wasn't good enough), etc. Now I'm getting a lot of people saying don't lose anymore weight.0 -
Making comments about other people's weight loss or gain is inappropriate. Period.
I think it is sad that some people need compliments to validate their self-worth.0 -
That's great, you should forward this post to all the gentlemen you know.0
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I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.
I smile and say thank you. But if I haven't told you I'm trying to lose weight, I'd much rather that people not say anything. It just feels private. I know it's not the same, but the closest example I can get to why is when someone conceives a child and people ask if they were trying. Um, if it's your business, you'd know.
I guess my second sentence was completely superfluous
Some people see everything black and white. They expect everyone to have the same world view as them. Other people just use their common sense, aka understand what "tact" means. Kinda like appreciating art:)0 -
I appreciate having anyone comment on my weight loss- it makes me feel good that people notice especially because I am working really hard at it and I have already lost 38 lbs. It's also a confidence builder
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Two different HR departments at former jobs of mine disagree with you, sadly.Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"
Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
please feel free to comment away!!!
Agreed. As a manager I'm not allowed to comment about anything to do with a persons appearance unless it is safety related. There are a couple of women in my department who are dieting and exercising and doing really well. I would really like to congratulate them and tell them how good they are doing but sadly I can't.
Yes, how sad that there are policies in place to protect an individual's right to privacy regarding their own body.
Interesting comment from a man who states "Sly grins from strange women" is one of his inspirations.
What does that have to do with the behavior of a manager towards his subordinates in the workplace?
And that's why I stay on the sidelines as a referee. The two women in my department are openly dieting and exercising. The rest of the department is very supportive and encouraging. We've had special weigh-in lunches where the company catered a big spread of healthy food for everyone to enjoy. It has been a very positive experience for the everyone involved. My job as their manager is to make sure nothing gets out of hand, everyone's personal right to a comfortable workplace is maintained and make sure company policies are adhered to. Since I too am trying to lose weight I would like ask them lots of dieting questions but I can't... So here I am looking for positive resources.0 -
Knew a guy whose job included verifying identity via ID cards. Upon seeing the dramatic weight loss the stranger in front of him had undergone since the ID photo was taken, the guy said: "You've lost a lot of weight, congratulations." The stranger's response?
'I was bitten by a tsetse fly and lost almost half my brain to infection. Thanks.'
Just food for thought.0 -
Making comments about other people's weight loss or gain is inappropriate. Period.
I think blanket statements like this aren't fair. The only absolute is that there are no absolutes.
Instead, I would simply suggest that those who do not like or welcome comments about their weight loss decide how to react if/when a comment is made,
1. Ignore
2. Thank and move on
3. Tell person you do not appreciate comments about your weight
4. Become agitated or aggressive
5. Thanks and embrace
6. Other
You cannot control what others will say or do... So you are better served determining how to react.0 -
Actually, I know I am in the minority, but I hate when someone comments on my weight loss. People commenting on how much weight I had loss was the reason I stopped losing weight the first time around. In a time of weakness I actually contemplated intentionally regaining the weight to get people to get off my back and leave me alone.
I'm just the opposite... call me vain, call me conceited, but I love when people tell me how good I look... it's a strong part of my motivation for losing weight, besides my overall health (though my current weight has caused me no health problems I know of, according to my most recent physical).0 -
Pretty sure its not OK to comment on a woman's appearance at all. Ever. Period.
I definitely wouldn't risk it. Its almost like even referring to a woman as "she" or "her" is more than a man's job is worth. At least at companies I've worked for. Everyone is running terrified.0 -
Knew a guy whose job included verifying identity via ID cards. Upon seeing the dramatic weight loss the stranger in front of him had undergone since the ID photo was taken, the guy said: "You've lost a lot of weight, congratulations." The stranger's response?
'I was bitten by a tsetse fly and lost almost half my brain to infection. Thanks.'
Just food for thought.
The average person doesn't lose weight due to a brain infection...I'm sure the guy with the job felt bad for saying that....but I don't think it was rude or wrong for him to say that. People get offended over the stupidest ****tt nowadays...can't even pay someone a compliment!0 -
Knew a guy whose job included verifying identity via ID cards. Upon seeing the dramatic weight loss the stranger in front of him had undergone since the ID photo was taken, the guy said: "You've lost a lot of weight, congratulations." The stranger's response?
'I was bitten by a tsetse fly and lost almost half my brain to infection. Thanks.'
Just food for thought.
To which I would respond, "whoa, sorry. well, you don't have half your brain, but at least you're not fat anymore."0
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