Gentlemen, its perfectly ok to comment on my weight loss!
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I posted this on my wall, but I'll put it here too: The thing is, what one person considers a compliment, could really hurt someone's feelings. If someone isn't trying to lose weight, and is self conscious about how they look, then someone innocently congratulating them on losing weight because the light hits them differently that day, could end up doing more harm than good. It's not that you can't compliment someone on something if they bring it to your attention, or are in a conversation about a related topic, but unsolicited compliments rank up there with unsolicited advice.
I'm not one of those people, but they exist, and I'm not going to step on their toes and make them feel bad, just so I can pat myself on the back for spraying my unwanted opinions on the world.
thank you for this point of view
I guess I should have prefaced my post by saying several people in my office are very health conscious, many coworkers even use the gym onsite and we always discuss our workouts. We have VERY open discussions on the topic. My male coworker who made the comment is often involved in these discussions, he is also a friend. Maybe in this type of setting it would be fine(since he knows I am working towards this goal), but I never in a million years would think it would EVER be a bad thing, but obviously this is not the case. It seems this is such a touchy topic. This was supposed to be a light hearted topic, but what was I thinking, this is MFP.
MEN, disregard this entire post, lol I am talking CRAZY!!!!!
Good night all.0 -
I can sympathize with both sides. Yes, I love compliments.
But it is slightly uncomfortable when someone says "You've lost SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and really emphasizes the last part. It feels like they're saying "You used to weigh SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"0 -
Male coworker of mine said to me the other day "wow, you really are losing weight!, I dont know if thats appropriate or not to say, but I can tell you are losing weight"
Men, trust me, no woman will ever be offended for commenting on a weight loss:)
please feel free to comment away!!!
Don`t let these haterz rain on your parade. Good job, you look great... :flowerforyou:0 -
You're all very pretty, unless you're anti-compliments, in which case, I said nothing.
Good day.0 -
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Or "A ton."
It's very uncomfortable when people say "You've lost A TON of weight."
They are basically saying "Dang girl you used to weigh A TON!"
But sincere compliments I truly love.0 -
I can sympathize with both sides. Yes, I love compliments.
But it is slightly uncomfortable when someone says "You've lost SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" and really emphasizes the last part. It feels like they're saying "You used to weigh SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
lol, yes I feel you on that one0 -
I do appreciate compliments. I understand, OP.
:flowerforyou: :drinker: 0 -
I do appreciate compliments. I understand, OP. :flowerforyou: :drinker:
gracias! we are the exception apparently!!
I swear, Im gonna use the "search" function in MFP to find all those posts of people complaining about nobody noticing their weight loss. Maybe thats where I should have posted this! They would understand, lol0 -
Based on personal experience, I no longer comment on someone's weight unless prompted.
I will simply say " you look good" and leave it at that. As a response I've heard "thank you, I've been working out and lost some weight", or " I got a new haircut", or similar. Harder to get in hot water this way.0 -
Based on personal experience, I no longer comment on someone's weight unless prompted.
I will simply say " you look good" and leave it at that. As a response I've heard "thank you, I've been working out and lost some weight", or " I got a new haircut", or similar. Harder to get in hot water this way.
I think that this is a very appropriate way to compliment most anyone. Obviously, use your own discretion with each situation, remembering the individual and your relationship to them, and I would say that depending on the situation and person you could say something more like, "You look really nice today," or, "You look amazing today!".
I also find it worth pointing out that I'm not anti-compliment related to my physical appearance whatsoever. There are some things that I love about my body. However, in my experience, only once has a comment about my weight loss actually made me feel good.
It was from a fellow theatre friend who had come in last minute to help with makeup for the production I was in. She just told me as she helped me with my mic how good I looked, and that I had lost a lot of weight. Because she was someone who I admired and was only a year older than me, and because I was at my goal weight, it felt really encouraging and wonderful.
However, had this been an older boy, that would have made me very uncomfortable, and I would not have found it appropriate-- just very awkward for me, and for him.0 -
I wish more people would learn to simply smile and say "thank you" when given a compliment. Of course, I also wish more people would think twice before opening their mouths. Tact is an art.
Agree!0 -
I don't mind it as long as it's not a constant thing. Some people like to really obsess over it and make comments constantly. THAT I don't like because then it becomes kind of uncomfortable and annoying.0
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I guess my second sentence was completely superfluousSome people see everything black and white. They expect everyone to have the same world view as them. Other people just use their common sense, aka understand what "tact" means. Kinda like appreciating art:)
I got your post. I was more agreeing with you than anything else. Discussion in a forum? :huh: I didn't spell it out, but I will now. I still wish even tactful people would not comment, but I'm not going to freak out on them about it and will show my appreciation for their compliment, because I understand that not everyone sees it as a private issue and they aren't trying to offend.
Tell me again how a post stating, "I smile and say thank you, and if I had my way, people wouldn't comment on my weight" is black and white? Sounds pretty accepting that not everyone has my world view. But please, teach me your ways of tact. You're so good at it.
Sorry if this is unintelligible, my body decided I only needed two hours of sleep. :grumble:
TL;DR: :yawn:0 -
Don't know how this got so crazy! I love it, it makes my day. The positive comments, I'm pretty sure you weren't referring to the people that say "ew you look sick you've lost so much weight" just the "you lookin gooooood, gurrr!" Lol.0
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OP I am with you. I like when people notice my weight loss. Even teachers in my daughters school have paid me compliments. Yes it means they noticed I was fatter before but yes I was. I know it and they know it. I also think it is sad the poster who said it made them want to stop losing weight. We all need to learn to take a compliment from time to time.
Regardless we cant stop people from opening their mouths and saying things. Like this guy who asked me 2 years ago if I was pregnant. Somehow we need to learn to deal with comments thrown at us.0 -
Making comments about other people's weight loss or gain is inappropriate. Period.
I think it is sad that some people need compliments to validate their self-worth.
if u say so.
but for me to lose the weight i did (i know its not loads ), i never believed it was possible. So its about the hard work I have gone through in undoing the mess i created. Nothing sad about that.
And any way whats wrong with complimenting each other now and then?0 -
I am kinda mixed on my feelings.....I've lost around 60 pounds and yes it was nice people noticing, but then that's all they wanted to talk about, and there are better things to talk about than myself. yes I am proud of myself, but also still insecure.0
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Making comments about other people's weight loss or gain is inappropriate. Period.
I think it is sad that some people need compliments to validate their self-worth.
if u say so.
but for me to lose the weight i did (i know its not loads ), i never believed it was possible. So its about the hard work I have gone through in undoing the mess i created. Nothing sad about that.
And any way whats wrong with complimenting each other now and then?
I agree, I saw this "sad" comment earlier and thought it was misplaced anyway. In my case, I wasnt fishing for a compliment, I was just given one! Pleasantly surprised to say the least. I wasnt taking an office poll to make myself feel better, lol. I feel great regardless because I KNOW I look better and feel stronger almost 20 lbs lighter. I took the compliment at face value and appreciated it.0 -
Don't know how this got so crazy! I love it, it makes my day. The positive comments, I'm pretty sure you weren't referring to the people that say "ew you look sick you've lost so much weight" just the "you lookin gooooood, gurrr!" Lol.
PREACH!!!0 -
Different strokes for different folks. I would rather be left alone and my weight loss not talked about. *shrug* :ohwell:0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
God I love this.
NOW YOU WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE YOU!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
God I love this.
NOW YOU WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE YOU!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true
Dating women is like playing Russian Roulette....0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
God I love this.
NOW YOU WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE YOU!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true
you just now figured out we're nuts? :laugh:0 -
I am kinda mixed on my feelings.....I've lost around 60 pounds and yes it was nice people noticing, but then that's all they wanted to talk about, and there are better things to talk about than myself. yes I am proud of myself, but also still insecure.
Sometimes people are just curious as to how you do it....
I was at the beach the other day and two ladies started talking to me
They started complimenting me and asking me questions...
So I took the time to explain to them what I do and how I do it....
I think I enjoyed sharing information more with them, then I did getting the compliments.
Prolly cause I also feel a bit of insecurity myself....but that is something I am working on and dealing with.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
God I love this.
NOW YOU WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE YOU!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true
Dating women is like playing Russian Roulette....
Except there are 5 bullets in the revolver, not just one :laugh:
OP, you'll find there are lots of people on MFP that just comment to rip people apart, they don't actually care what the subject matter is. Try to ignore them :flowerforyou:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
God I love this.
NOW YOU WOMEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE YOU!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
So true
you just now figured out we're nuts? :laugh:
LOL
Nah, I caught onto it pretty quickly a few years back.
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I am kinda mixed on my feelings.....I've lost around 60 pounds and yes it was nice people noticing, but then that's all they wanted to talk about, and there are better things to talk about than myself. yes I am proud of myself, but also still insecure.
Sometimes people are just curious as to how you do it....
I was at the beach the other day and two ladies started talking to me
They started complimenting me and asking me questions...
So I took the time to explain to them what I do and how I do it....
I think I enjoyed sharing information more with them, then I did getting the compliments.
Prolly cause I also feel a bit of insecurity myself....but that is something I am working on and dealing with.
Max, those girls were flirting with you. I wasn't even there and I'm sure of it.
Sigh, must I be a wingman for the entire world?
Srs???
No they weren't.
Well if they were, they got bored to tears then, cause I talked about nutrition and training. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Damn, I am a F**king idiot0
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