Sexual Assult Prevention Week

I am adding my voice.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/EvgeniZyntx/view/acquaintance-rape-599621

Also, not to fall down the rabbit hole, I am all for situational awareness and self defense -- but that's not preventing the attack from occurring, just fighting it off. The circumstances that would prevent attacks entirely are cultural/psychological in nature.

I just had the awareness thing in my mind because I happened to see this on Facebook just the other day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QcLs98NeJY I agree a cultural change would be great, but you can only do your part.

I am not going to lie to you, I can't watch that because it will probably be a triggering for me, as I am a sexual assault survivor.
When you say "do your part" , that kind of implies that victims of sexual assault are victims because they failed to "do their part". As I said, situational awareness and self defense are important skills to have. But the idea that those skill will prevent sexual assaults is faulty logic. Actual prevention means those skills would be unnecessary because there would be no rapists.

The only way there will no rapists is that rapists have access to mental health care and that our society makes it really, really uncomfortable for rapists to exists. Women who have sex with their students, we should view her as a predator, just like we would a man. Sober men having sex with a drunk girl they barely know, that should automatically be vile. Things like that need to change and I wholly believe that we are able to change those things. That's all.

While culture may play a role I think its safe to say that no matter how many people you reach, how zen-like the world may become through higher understandings, there are people who are just not born wired right. Not every serial killer is the product of being fed dog food in a cage while there parents had orgies watching Barney videos in front of them. Know what I mean? (Sorry I have a tendency to over complicate my comparables).

So while 99.9% of the population may one day be perfectly harmless, there is still the .1% that I will continue to warm my kids about.

So to prevent it. I can do exactly what I do now. I have two daughters (18 & 15) and I CONSTANTLY warn them of the dangers of the world. The same as my mother did with me.

Be aware of who/what is around you.
Look under your car while you approach.
Check your back seats before getting into your car.
Lock your doors immediately.
Get your face out of your phone and pay attention.
Who cares if you hurt someones feelings if you get a bad feeling. Cross the street or run the other way.
ETC...

I walk frequently in the evening and usually take at least one of my daughters. A few weeks ago all three of us went. We saw the same van pass us three times with two men inside. My daughters picked it up immediately. My advice? In this OR ANY SITUATION SIMILAR that you don't feel right about. Dial 9-1 and keep your phone in your hand and be prepared to fight, kick, scream, scratch, bite, ripe, tear, shred....you get the point.

If I see **** like that go down, I do something.

Speaking of just because you don't have a man's plumbing it doesn't mean that you can't rape. If your partner is saying no, and you proceed, that is rape, whether they are a man or a woman. If your partner is saying nothing at all, and you proceed, same thing. The absence of consent is rape.

I can not rape or sexually assault people. That tends to help. You can also help by kicking the everliving **** out of people that do.

If I misunderstood your post then I'm sorry for calling you out.

Your confusion confuses me

I have gotten in a few fights, especially when I was younger and going out drinking more often, in defense of someone being harassed.

make it normal to teach men and young boys about not raping about how they are in no way ever entitled to someone elses body

instead of always making it up to the women and young women to not get raped - yes learning these things is still important HOWEVER IT IS NOT OUR FCKING FAULT and we should never be looked at like "well you should of done this this and this or not worn this or never gone outside walking by yourself EVER or drank that or ororororororororor"

yea im getting upset

I totally agree.

My Father raised his boys in just that manner. We were taught to show respect. Not just verbally, but in the respectful manner he treated my Mother.

I had 3 girls and 2 granddaughters. Never raised a son, but I have set an example for my daughters that they expect from others.

I may be a dinosaur, but my daughters expect respect. No means no, And, trust me, they have no problem coming to their father if something happens.

I'm confused because of this-->"I can not rape or sexually assault people."

Oh - would probably make more sense if it said "I can choose not to rape or sexually assault people". Sorry about that!

Thank you for the clarification!

While I believe that situational awareness and self defense are important to people in general, I think that implying that a woman has to do her part to prevent herself from being raped is a subtle implication that she bears partial responsibility for her own rape if it should happen.

A woman dressed provocatively is not asking for it, neither is a woman who enjoys flirting, and neither is a woman who happens to walk on a dark street at night. She should be able to freely do these things without the fear of being assaulted.


The responsibility rests SOLELY on the shoulders of the person who initiates force against another.

Absolutely! I think the point though is that we have to do our best to protect ourselves as well. Knowledge is part of prevention.

I think you may be missing the point, just a little. Having self awareness and self defense skills isn't actually preventing the assault from occurring -- it just might make the attempt be unsuccessful (while is pretty vile to even write).

Self defense/awareness have a place in the conversation, just not when you're talking prevention because it is always going to place a level of blame on the victim. If you were stronger/faster/more aware this wouldn't have happened to you. Which is not true.

Thank you, I was going to say something along the lines of this (most likely not as eloquently though). In my own experience being more aware would not have prevented it from happening. Having self defense skills may have deterred him but there still would have been an attempt. The attempt needs to be prevented along with the act itself and victims have zero responsibility for that.

*bump*


that's all I have to add at this juncture.