Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'

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  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Learning to value one's self shall unlock the door to true happiness.

    perhaps true - but I think that this is a very complicated processes..
  • Cheekies_
    Cheekies_ Posts: 319 Member
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    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.

    ^This^ :flowerforyou:
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    I really don't think that's fair. Everyone has a different "love" language. Some people need affection, some people need gifts, some need words, others need to feel valued. No one thing is better than another. I find a lot of value in myself - but I find a lot of happiness when other people value my hard work and intelligence.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    I really don't think that's fair. Everyone has a different "love" language. Some people need affection, some people need gifts, some need words, others need to feel valued. No one thing is better than another. I find a lot of value in myself - but I find a lot of happiness when other people value my hard work and intelligence.

    I used to think the same way - but as I said recently noticed that I was dependent on someone else -briefly of course- for happiness. I think people for the most part do indeed need affection.

    and your entirely right 'no one thing is better' - this is more so for observation and curiosity - I was more-so curious about everyone tending to lean one way or the other - but I'm under the impression 'happiness' is currently the winner - I just wonder if people are actually depending on other for happiness and just not realizing - sorta similar to my recent case.

    thanks for your points Virgoodess! :flowerforyou:
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
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    Happy. Feeling "valued" implies you get a sense of happiness from other peoples opinions of you. This isn't bad if you can be happy even if everyone isn't happy with you. Some people though, let the value others place on them effect their entire happiness.

    ^^ this. You just happen to be far better at articulating these things than me. I agree 100% :)
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Well I'm in the camp that happiness is a choice - a choice made easier when we feel fulfilled in other areas of our lives. For me, as a stay at home mom, I like to feel valued - I like when my husband comments on how nice the house looks, or my kids thank me for dinner. I'm not going to jump off a cliff if those things don't happen, but they do make the choice to be happier easier - if that makes any sense.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
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    When you rely on others for your value or your happiness, it "usually" won't turn out well. Know your personal worth and value. Be your happiness. Live the life you dream of and want. Don't let anyone hold the key to your happiness or value. If someone wants to add to your happiness and value, great. However, never give anyone else that power over you. Know your value. Know your happiness. Live your best life.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,359 Member
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    Valued. I create my own happiness.

    This. I and I alone am responsible for my happiness.
  • HelloSilvia
    HelloSilvia Posts: 1
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    What if being happy includes being valued? Happy covers so many things, so obviously happy. Valued s very specific and not as broad as happy. Happy wins out on what it could cover to ensure longevity as an answer on this one.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
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    Valued. I create my own happiness.

    This. I and I alone am resposonsible for my happiness.

    ^we are indeed responsible for our happiness - I just don't know if we acquire happiness through our viewpoint alone - I think it may be through the aid of others as well.

    Think about what last made you unhappy - was it something that occurred internally or did it involve others?
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
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    I would rather be happy been me than been valued, been valued contributes to been happy I suppose.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,551 Member
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    Happy. There will invariably be people in the world who don't value you in anyway regardless of how advantageous it may be. And being valued doesn't always lead to happiness IMO. I deal with lots of clients who are valued employees and workers, but aren't happy at all in relationships, their bodies, etc.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Leggylass
    Leggylass Posts: 215
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    I no longer feel valued or respected , there for i can not be happy????

    BUT i can be happy! :bigsmile:
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
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    Happy. There will invariably be people in the world who don't value you in anyway regardless of how advantageous it may be. And being valued doesn't always lead to happiness IMO. I deal with lots of clients who are valued employees and workers, but aren't happy at all in relationships, their bodies, etc.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    This brings up a really interesting point - are we talking valued on a personal or professional level? In order to be happy at my job (staying home), I need to feel valued. But those same "rules" don't necessarily apply to my personal life.......
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,359 Member
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    ^we are indeed responsible for our happiness - I just don't know if we acquire happiness through our viewpoint alone - I think it may be through the aid of others as well.

    Think about what last made you unhappy - was it something that occurred internally or did it involve others?

    Quite recently. Both :) But, I have since chosen to move past the situation and not dwell on it. I choose if I want to sit and stew and stay unhappy. Or I can move past something that does not essential affect my daily life. I can not control what others do, say, or opinions. I can control how I respond.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    I'd rather feel happy. Happiness is MY emotion. I can't control how others feel about me. Being valued is nice but out of my control.
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
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    My feelings of self worth are increased when others value me. That being said, it is not the source of my happiness. That is all my responsibility and up to me. It is not fair to other people to place the burden of my happiness on them. That is my job. And I cannot make anyone happy. I can try. And sometimes succeed. But at some place in time, I will fail and not live up to their expectations. And they will not always live up to mine. Glad my happiness is not connected to others.
  • DevSanchez
    DevSanchez Posts: 314 Member
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    I'd rather feel happy! I can give a **** about what anyone thinks or feels about me! If they don't value me that's their problem! As long as I have self awareness, and know my own worth, they can all bite me!
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
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    I'd rather feel happy! I can give a **** about what anyone thinks or feels about me! If they don't value me that's their problem! As long as I have self awareness, and know my own worth, they can all bite me!

    It would make me happy to bite you.
  • DevSanchez
    DevSanchez Posts: 314 Member
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    =) and that makes me happy lol

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