Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'

2

Replies

  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.
  • Veil5577
    Veil5577 Posts: 868 Member
    Both. Don't make me choose.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Just trying to get a high-level overlook on the sentiments of the MFP community.

    Would you rather feel 'Happy' or 'Valued'.

    '+1' for those ladies and gentleman who provide reasoning in their response/retorts.

    I think these things directly relate to each other. If I don't feel valued, I don't think I'd be very happy. So I picked valued, because then happiness is more attainable.
  • DebraYvonne
    DebraYvonne Posts: 632 Member
    I'd have to have both in measure or either content and valued.
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    Can you feel happy without feeling valued? I couldn't. My happiness comes from feeling valued by others. You can also substituted the word "adored" for valued....

    This seems dangerous emotionally. What happens if the well runs dry so to speak. As in if the people who adore you suddenly change their feelings. It also places the burden on you to continue to keep them interested.

    Any friend or lover you have around around must value you. A life withouth someone valuing you is a life of isolation and without intimate bonds. Could you be happy in a life of isolation?
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    Tough because I think as human beings we need both, even if we don't admit it. If I had to choose one, I would choose to be happy, I guess.

    But If I don't choose being valued as my response, does that mean that nobody values me ever? If nobody values me ever, then how would I survive in society? Would I be too happy to care that someone takes my chair, that I always have to stand on public transportation, that a taxi never stops for me? That my kids don't notice me? That everyone basically ignores me? That cars don't wait for me to cross the street? That I am never hugged or kissed or told that I matter? Would I die an early death because I wasn't told by my doctor that I was dying?

    I think I change my answer. I prefer to be valued.

    If everyone values you as if you *kitten* gold, but you're not happy...what's the point?
  • anissa333
    anissa333 Posts: 175 Member
    Happy....Happy is about how you feel....Valued is about how you feel about what other people think....
  • sentaruu
    sentaruu Posts: 2,206 Member
    Learning to value one's self shall unlock the door to true happiness.
  • ProfessorOwl
    ProfessorOwl Posts: 312 Member
    I'm definitely valued but not particularly happy. It sucks. I'll go with happy if I can't have both.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    ^I would have said and thought this... however recent examples just made me realize my behavior isn't lining up with my thinking.

    I used to think that - but I got a txt from a girl todaysaying "I've never been so happy just lying in bed cuddling with you, last night was special" - and I realized I provided her a great deal of 'happiness' simply by providing value, ironically it was through telling her she provided me a great deal of value... however I think the word I used was utility :P - aka the 'genesis' of her happiness was through me though.


    On the same token, me being ...Mr. Independent sent a txt yesterday to the former girl I had fallen head over heels for a month ago... Ms. Brazil, and I let her know I was thinking of her, and was hoping she was enjoying her vacation - and noooo response. and I was totally totally bummed - it was the only thing on my mind - through the cuddling - I had to drive to NJ this morning and it was the only thing on my mind. - and on my way back she sent me back a really sweet txt - next thing you know i'm dancing around in my car singing along to the song on the radio - and I realized that Mr. Independent just had a whiff of happiness simply through having a feeling of value from someone.

    ...I'm not sure which is which with myself... just trying to observe my behavioral actions.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Learning to value one's self shall unlock the door to true happiness.

    perhaps true - but I think that this is a very complicated processes..
  • Cheekies_
    Cheekies_ Posts: 319 Member
    Valued is an extension of respect, which is HUGE in people's happiness.

    ^This^ :flowerforyou:
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    I really don't think that's fair. Everyone has a different "love" language. Some people need affection, some people need gifts, some need words, others need to feel valued. No one thing is better than another. I find a lot of value in myself - but I find a lot of happiness when other people value my hard work and intelligence.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Happy. I know my worth; I couldn't care less how other people "value" me.

    So much this. I don't need other people's opinions to me to determine my level of happiness.

    I really don't think that's fair. Everyone has a different "love" language. Some people need affection, some people need gifts, some need words, others need to feel valued. No one thing is better than another. I find a lot of value in myself - but I find a lot of happiness when other people value my hard work and intelligence.

    I used to think the same way - but as I said recently noticed that I was dependent on someone else -briefly of course- for happiness. I think people for the most part do indeed need affection.

    and your entirely right 'no one thing is better' - this is more so for observation and curiosity - I was more-so curious about everyone tending to lean one way or the other - but I'm under the impression 'happiness' is currently the winner - I just wonder if people are actually depending on other for happiness and just not realizing - sorta similar to my recent case.

    thanks for your points Virgoodess! :flowerforyou:
  • maz504
    maz504 Posts: 450
    Happy. Feeling "valued" implies you get a sense of happiness from other peoples opinions of you. This isn't bad if you can be happy even if everyone isn't happy with you. Some people though, let the value others place on them effect their entire happiness.

    ^^ this. You just happen to be far better at articulating these things than me. I agree 100% :)
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Well I'm in the camp that happiness is a choice - a choice made easier when we feel fulfilled in other areas of our lives. For me, as a stay at home mom, I like to feel valued - I like when my husband comments on how nice the house looks, or my kids thank me for dinner. I'm not going to jump off a cliff if those things don't happen, but they do make the choice to be happier easier - if that makes any sense.
  • sarainiowa
    sarainiowa Posts: 287 Member
    When you rely on others for your value or your happiness, it "usually" won't turn out well. Know your personal worth and value. Be your happiness. Live the life you dream of and want. Don't let anyone hold the key to your happiness or value. If someone wants to add to your happiness and value, great. However, never give anyone else that power over you. Know your value. Know your happiness. Live your best life.
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
    Valued. I create my own happiness.

    This. I and I alone am responsible for my happiness.
  • HelloSilvia
    HelloSilvia Posts: 1
    What if being happy includes being valued? Happy covers so many things, so obviously happy. Valued s very specific and not as broad as happy. Happy wins out on what it could cover to ensure longevity as an answer on this one.
  • MrTolerable
    MrTolerable Posts: 1,593 Member
    Valued. I create my own happiness.

    This. I and I alone am resposonsible for my happiness.

    ^we are indeed responsible for our happiness - I just don't know if we acquire happiness through our viewpoint alone - I think it may be through the aid of others as well.

    Think about what last made you unhappy - was it something that occurred internally or did it involve others?
  • gym_king_carlie
    gym_king_carlie Posts: 528 Member
    I would rather be happy been me than been valued, been valued contributes to been happy I suppose.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,988 Member
    Happy. There will invariably be people in the world who don't value you in anyway regardless of how advantageous it may be. And being valued doesn't always lead to happiness IMO. I deal with lots of clients who are valued employees and workers, but aren't happy at all in relationships, their bodies, etc.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Leggylass
    Leggylass Posts: 215
    I no longer feel valued or respected , there for i can not be happy????

    BUT i can be happy! :bigsmile:
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    Happy. There will invariably be people in the world who don't value you in anyway regardless of how advantageous it may be. And being valued doesn't always lead to happiness IMO. I deal with lots of clients who are valued employees and workers, but aren't happy at all in relationships, their bodies, etc.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    This brings up a really interesting point - are we talking valued on a personal or professional level? In order to be happy at my job (staying home), I need to feel valued. But those same "rules" don't necessarily apply to my personal life.......
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member

    ^we are indeed responsible for our happiness - I just don't know if we acquire happiness through our viewpoint alone - I think it may be through the aid of others as well.

    Think about what last made you unhappy - was it something that occurred internally or did it involve others?

    Quite recently. Both :) But, I have since chosen to move past the situation and not dwell on it. I choose if I want to sit and stew and stay unhappy. Or I can move past something that does not essential affect my daily life. I can not control what others do, say, or opinions. I can control how I respond.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    I'd rather feel happy. Happiness is MY emotion. I can't control how others feel about me. Being valued is nice but out of my control.
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
    My feelings of self worth are increased when others value me. That being said, it is not the source of my happiness. That is all my responsibility and up to me. It is not fair to other people to place the burden of my happiness on them. That is my job. And I cannot make anyone happy. I can try. And sometimes succeed. But at some place in time, I will fail and not live up to their expectations. And they will not always live up to mine. Glad my happiness is not connected to others.
  • DevSanchez
    DevSanchez Posts: 314 Member
    I'd rather feel happy! I can give a **** about what anyone thinks or feels about me! If they don't value me that's their problem! As long as I have self awareness, and know my own worth, they can all bite me!
  • jacques57
    jacques57 Posts: 2,129 Member
    I'd rather feel happy! I can give a **** about what anyone thinks or feels about me! If they don't value me that's their problem! As long as I have self awareness, and know my own worth, they can all bite me!

    It would make me happy to bite you.
  • DevSanchez
    DevSanchez Posts: 314 Member
    =) and that makes me happy lol

Categories