How do you handle tantrums?

I'm sorry I wasn't more clear on this: The grandma did say hi, and I did say hi back, but that was not the extent of our interaction. She went on to want to know all kinds of information about what's happening with this company I work at (and she doesn't anymore), and I was trying to move towards a different direction in the store. It isn't saying hi that was the issue... she wanted to have a much longer conversation, and then her granddaughter wanted to follow me.

To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.

My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.

First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.

Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.

There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.

You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.

I don't think any of us have said that you are an awful person. Or that we should accept children throwing groceries. In fact, my original thread was to stop the throwing of the groceries. No one is condoning child behavior. That being said, I am not sure you know how very anti social you come off as. Enjoy your life.

Perhaps we should use the same skills we do with whiny kids on midwesterner.

But, but, but...it's not fair!

To summarize the last several posts: The consensus is that I should just accept that kid is bothering me, and I'm an awful person for not wanting to spend more time chatting with the grandma. In fact, I must hate all other people and should seek psychological help.

My principle all along has been that I should not have to put up with anybody else's kids when they take those kids into public places and the kid misbehaves.

First, that is all off topic... this post, though miscategorized, was a question about how to handle tantrums. After giving full disclosure along with my first reply, I got enough responses and attention that the focus of the thread shifted to "That Midwesterner is a Terrible, Terrible Person Because He Isn't OK With Misbehaving Kids In Public." While I'm obviously complaining about people being close-minded, this is really more about stating a fact relevant to the thread, and trying to improve the content by pointing this out.

Second, we will never agree on some things, regardless of how many of you want to hate me as a result. If it helps you feel better to tell yourself that I'm an awful person or that I'm insane because I don't believe kids should throw groceries on the floor, then go ahead and continue to tell yourself that. Just don't use it to justify not dealing with the tantrum.

There is something that I implore you to be honest with yourself about: I'm not the only one who does not see your kid's misbehavior as "cute" or even as "acceptable because they are just a kid." There are other adults, many of whom are afraid to say so because they anticipate the same massive personal attacks that I have received, who also do not enjoy when your child screams and throws things (or tries to use them as a piece of playground equipment). If you have no problem with these things, fine.... just keep the kid at home where it won't bother the rest of us.

You can continue to make comments telling me I'm a bad person, I do not get along with other people, etc. Just tell me how it answers the original question of how to better deal with their kid's tantrum when you do so (see 3rd paragraph above starting with "first"). By asking you to do this, I'm trying to restore this thread to the original topic at hand.

Okay... I don't know if you will find this helpful, Midwestern, but you might...
Often, when I get annoyed at someone, I have to stop and think to myself, "S/he can't really know..." (meaning, the person isn't a mind reader)
It helps me feel sympathetic towards the person that I'm annoyed with.
Grandma couldn't know that you didn't want to talk to her. I mean, how could she, really? You've never been hateful to her, you've never told her before that you don't want her company, right? It's not fair to assume that she would "know better"...

And even though you aren't interested in dating her daughter or someone with kids, she really couldn't know HOW MUCH kids bug you. (I'm not being unkind here... my patience is in pretty high demand / short supply with kids, too.)

Another thing to consider: you're an adult and you're second guessing your interaction with the grandmother. You're still figuring things out. Not surprisingly, kids are too! ESPECIALLY babies!!
The OPs baby is only 18 months old. With that short a life, that little life experience, she really can't know what to do all the time, either, right? VERY few babies that age can even recognize the urge to urinate or have a BM.

Anyway, just a suggestion from an impatient old bitty who shoots eye daggers at the parents playing on their phones and ignoring their kids.

The grandma said "hi" as did I, and then I continued walking... she continued talking as I'm walking away, so I stopped. Rather than turn towards her and head back her direction, I just turned my head while my body was facing towards the direction I had previously been walking. I didn't give any lengthy responses (5 words or less) to anything she said. Most adults would get the hint there... but maybe I should have actually been clear I didn't want to talk (but would be considered rude, of course).

When we worked together, and she was persistent about trying to hook me up with her daughter, I grew persistent in my insistence that I could not stand kids. It eventually became clear enough that she would jokingly threaten to trap me with kids in various ways, knowing that I would be extremely unhappy. So I don't think you are right on that - she definitely knew I couldn't stand kids. Or, maybe this was her spur of the moment opportunity to annoy me with her grand-daughter. But that sounds a bit too unreasonable.

"
The more I read your posts, the more I am noticing your obvious misogyny and need for validation. Children are vital in the survival of our race. Should everyone make a kid? No. Is your hate of children and seemingly any positive interaction with other human beings healthy? Most definitely not. I second that you might look into counseling".


This response is totally unfair. Midwestern doesm't say people should not have kids; he says that parents should not allow their kids to scream, throw things, and otherwise act like a baboon in public and annoy other adults. That is NOT "positive interaction with other human beings", it's kids being brats. Parentys who think any bad behavior is "just expressing themselves" and " normal kid behavior" need to learn that the kid's right to self expression stops dead short of " annoying other people in public". I agree 100%.