found my husband on an onlne dating site

I don't give a damn about your marriage.

Work out your daily calorie goals and the rate of loss that you want. Make sure you weigh and measure your food. Weighing and measuring is very important. You'd be amazed, but there are studies that indicate almost everyone, including dietitians, underestimate calories by as much as half of what they actually eat if they don't weigh and measure food.

Consider strength training to retain as much lean mass as possible, and try to do some form of cardio. I like riding my bike, but walking, running, swimming, or one of the many exercise machines at the gym will do great.

Give it time. Weight loss isn't overnight. Slow and steady has a better chance in resulting in long term success.

*swoon* :drinker:

I don't give a damn about your marriage.

whoa, kinda cold there, dont ya think?

This lady is in dire straits and thats all you have to say? Show some compassion, ...........geez

Should I show her compassion by telling her to dump her husband? Should I tell her to stay with the guy and do this for him? Define compassion. I'd rather tell her how to succeed at weight loss and how to feel better about herself.

She doesn't need me armchair quarterbacking her marriage.

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wow...all these counselors and not one certification in their background pictures. I can tell you from experience..broken trust CAN be healed. it takes complete transparency on BOTH sides..and yes..it takes Jesus (I'm certain I'll get feedback from that from those who don't want accountability in their lives). If it fails it's because BOTH parties don't want the same outcome. If it didn't work for YOU...naysayers.....it's because Both of YOU didn't want to focus on fixing the problems that led to it. Good for you to try to do your part lady..in my book, you rock! and if your hubby doesn't want to leave his phone and texts wide open for you to verify his trustworthyness..then he is not worth keeping and don't deserve you.

^^^THIS, THIS, THIS ^^^^^
I speak from exp. When you think all hope is lost and nothing will be the same....hope is not lost! and believe me, it will not be the same but it can be so much better! as long as you both want the same outcome....it will hurt at first but it is worth it to stick it out...it can make your relationship stronger....keep your head up and follow Jesus...he knows what he is doing!

None of you love Jesus any more than I do. But Her husband wasnt checking in when Jesus when he logged into the DATING SITE. He didnt accidentally tap the join and find locals in your area. So dont even try it

All I am saying is that if she does want to work things out it is possible...whatever situation she is in it is HER choice and if she decides that she loves him and wants to make it work then it is possible! I don't know her life or her relationship or anything else about her...all I know is what she posted...and she said they are working on issues together....just letting her know it is possible to make things work if that's what she wants....I am not telling her what to do or anything...just giving her a little insight on what worked for me....and yes you are right he didn't check in with JESUS when he logged into the dating site....ALL THE MORE REASON TO CHECK IN WITH HIM NOW!

Right.. right after he checks the new site.

:laugh: OH MY GOSH!!! you are so funny, please stop! :laugh:

I would have left

Be strong!

I'm soo sorry. I believe deep down in my heart, once he did that...he can do it again.....

yup... he'll do it again...

also, like others have asked, how did you find out he was on a dating site? did a friend tell you????

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I am sorry for your pain. Yes there is great pain; been there done it and remarried his *kitten* and the worm did it again. When children are involved it is hard because it isn't about just you two.
Right now, chop wood and carry water. Just do, because there is a reason for everything!
Hugs

As someone who was everything he wanted in a woman except "pretty enough" for him to be faithful after the second baby was born..... it is much, much, much, much more satisfying to get out of the relationship, become the best version of yourself and have hot, sweaty sex with someone who never, ever, ever, ever goes about trying to cheat on you....

and it doesn't hurt when your ex sees you around .. not even a little bit. esp if he has put on the 30lbs of baby weight you gained.

I could volunteer for the rebound :drinker:

Use the common sense given you and move on!

This is just stupid. If you love someone and want to spend your life with him/her you don't just change your mind because he/she put on some fat. True love, besides the romantic butterflies in the stomach, is about dedication to your partner. Which means that if he was unhappy with your appearance he would find ways to motivate you and help you improve yourself. Instead of that he chose to get in touch with other women. That's just immature and selfish. And this is not only about you, he couldn't even respect his family and kids. Don't feel bad about yourself, HE didn't meet your expectations and HE is the one at fault. You should love yourself no matter what he thinks, and do what's best for you.

My friend got busted on a dating site by her man.

He made her delete the profile.

Now she has to come over to my house to log on under my profile.

We look a lot alike anyways.

Honestly,

I'm an event planner in an un-common sub-culture, and I've met members on dating sites and never had any sexual relationship with them. I still see them all the time, and we've traveled together and had long term platonic friendships together.

Some people really are on there looking for friendship.

That being said, my -ex was on there looking for friendship when he met the woman he left me for (who, by the way, weighs about 200+ more pounds than I do.)

Yes, your friend sounds like a swell person. Great for her. :huh:

If you think your husband DOESN'T have a wandering eye .... :laugh:

Every marriage is worth fighting for! I'm glad you are willing to keep trying... With that said, just because you are overweight does not mean his infidelity is your fault. If this is the catalyst that gets you motivated to lose weight and have a healthier lifestyle, then so be it. But don't look for it to change your marriage or relationship. That will take work and commitment from both of you.
Practice makes perfect, so you both need to practice being head-over-heals in love with each other. " Fake it til you feel it," as the saying goes.

God is dead, and I'm pretty sure Jesus was executed

This is why we are friends.