wife is kinda bothering me

I always find it really hard to find a running partner who goes at the same speed as me. Plus I use running as my "solo" time, when I dont really want company, just my thoughts.

If she's insistent - can you plan a route of her distance which brings you back home, you could use that as a warm up and then continue on for the rest of your distance at pace?

^^ What they said

It'll be way easier/better if you keep her motivated to be healthy at the same time that you are!

The warm up idea is good,but since she is getting upset with you for wanting to go further and hasn't suggested it herself, I have a feeling she's got some emotional crazy going on. My guess is that she feels jealous or hurt or inadequate so she's (maybe subconsciously, maybe not) trying to pull you back down to where she is so you can be equal. Maybe she feels lonely being able to do less.
Regardless, go for the harder exercise at a different time of the day/night, and then schedule in the smaller walk with her. That would require two times of day to exercise. One of two outcomes from that. It might work out well for both of you. or she will get upset that you are spending even more time exercising. At the point that she voices that, offer the other solution of just doing another lap after your walk with her.
Chess. Its like playing chess.

How old is your son? He may just get used to it if you do it a few times, my own (3yo) didn't like it when I went out running but a few runs later and some extra walks with him and some distractions when I go out (he's at home with his dad so they just need to find something absorbing) and he's fine.

Otherwise, separate run and walk together sounds like a good plan.

not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

me and her are both over weight and usually we are trying to loose weight on opposite schedules (she'll get serious and ill eat junk ill get serious and shes bringing home pizza) but i finally said i dont care and started jogging and eating healthy again. shes fine with it and encouraged me but now she wants to go on my jogs with me and by doing so she walks at about half the speed im use to and for about half the distance and then complains if i want to go farther either on my own or without her

im just getting frustrated by it and needed to vent for a second

My husband cannot run with anyone...not even the dog. At first, I was mildly annoyed that he wouldn't even consider taking the over energized bunny MinPin we have for a run. I mean, really?....:huh: How hard can it be?....why not trade in 15 minutes of running the little monster dog to have goooood dog for the rest of the day?!!!

Sooooo selfish

Then, I thought about how uncoordinated my husband can be when in a full on run :sick: Monster (yes, the dog's name is Monster) man, can that dog move fast. No indicators & hella good breaks if he has a mind to.

Solution: I taught the dog to walk on a treadmill & DH gets his 20 min run in peace :drinker:

Practical solutions:

Get her a puppy (ok, not always practical, but hey, visit your local shelter if it is )
Borrow a puppy/neighbor's dog & get her an ipod/mp3 player with her favorite music on it.

While she walks with the dog, you can run circles around them :laugh: I'm kidding....

Maybe go to a park & have her invite one of her friends so she has someone to chat with while you both go at your respective paces.

I'm sure if you put your mind to it you can find a compromise you both can live with.

Maybe she can ride a bike while you run?

not sure if i should put this here but the last week or so my wife has been really getting under my skin and its weird and hard for me to explain

me and her are both over weight and usually we are trying to loose weight on opposite schedules (she'll get serious and ill eat junk ill get serious and shes bringing home pizza) but i finally said i dont care and started jogging and eating healthy again. shes fine with it and encouraged me but now she wants to go on my jogs with me and by doing so she walks at about half the speed im use to and for about half the distance and then complains if i want to go farther either on my own or without her

im just getting frustrated by it and needed to vent for a second

My wife won't run. my preference would be to run.

Supporting my wife's own bid for health and showing I'm happy she's supporting me takes precedence. I run when she cannot come, or I go out and do an additional workout if I'm really feeling I have to move.

Sometimes it's tough keeping Abel Township supplied. :P

I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.

This is a good idea. My son would do this with me since I ran like a turtle. He would run ahead and then run back to me. He did this throughout our run.

How about if she rode a bike while you ran?

@Paulbwalsh, hope your wife is okay :flowerforyou:

For me, running is personal. I put on my tunes and off I go. Not a duo kind of thing. I like your idea of running alone and walking with her later. That way she can push herself harder with you there without getting mad. She may also be feeling a little threatened by your new found resolve for fitness, and wants to feel closer to you. Good luck with that.

I tried running with my kids a couple of times... NOT doing that again. LOL!

Hello, not sure if I am repeating someone else's post. Sorry I have not read everyone's replies. I saw the mention of a running track which is a great idea but have you two also thought her and your son going out on a bike (or bikes)?

I have a similar problem - my wife is recovering from breast cancer treatment so cannot run as far or as fast as i can, so I run with her when she can, but when she needs to walk, i run ahead for a minute or two, turn around, run back and when she's ready, she runs again with me. it's inconvenient without doubt, but she's involved and happy thats she's involved, and seeing me running more then her encourages her to run more than she would ordinarily. it might be hard to deal with, but I'd say stick with it and continue to do ths together.

My hubby and I had a similar situation as OP when I first started running... he used to run before we got together, then helped me pick up running... but wouldn't want me to run on my own (wanted it to be "our time") yet would always leave me in his dust trail as he ran ahead of me. I used to get SOOOO annoyed... I mean, I knew that we were at different levels and that he needed to push himself as well, but I didn't drive an hour there every day straight from work just to be alone!

So he started doing the same thing... he'd run up ahead then circle back to me. It really did make me feel much better and that we were doing it together.

Paul, I'm glad you've realized this solution as well! Hope the best for your wife :flowerforyou:

And OP, this could help your son realize that just cuz he can't see you doesn't mean you're not there. Might be a good solution for you too!

Lol you just have to keep running slightly faster than she can and she'll soon give up. When I used to run, I thought it'd be nice to run together, have a chat while we were running but by the end I *HATED* running with my husband cause he always pushed me further and harder than I wanted to run (he is nearly a foot taller than me). I eventually stopped the "awww it'd be nice to run together" thing and started going out on my own without him.

my workout time is "me" time. I use it to both attempt to lose weight but also to unwind. Politely tell her this is your time and although you appreciate her wanting to be with you, it is good to have time to yourself.

Sorry. It sounds like she has some insecurities she'll need to work on. In the meantime, there have been plenty of compromises suggested.

But I agree it can be hard training with running partner. Surprisingly, for a while my husband, who ran cross country in college, wanted to go on my runs. Clearly I was the slow runner. I hated it. I would be huffing and puffing and he wouldn't break a sweat. I'd hear unsolicted advice on every run. I got pissy and it really hurt my husband's feelings because he just wanted to spend quality time together. (He's a sweetheart). Anyway, now we rarely go on training runs together. But we will sign up for 5ks and mud runs together. Before them, there is usually a talk of whether he'll be running ahead of me or not. When he runs with me, he's more understanding of times I may not be able to hold a conversation with him and generally has toned down his advice giving. We found our stride in what works for us and I couldn't be happier!

Have you offered to take turns with her? You do your run, go home, she does her own walk or run. That way she gets some peace and quiet and you get time alone with your son. You could alternate nights too.