Body Image

Just focus on going for a healthy weight range and disregard the rest.

I have horrible body image issues. However, they don't stem from societal or cultural pressures; rather, the pressure comes from me. From the need to be perfect, to be fit, to be enough. It's a never ending battle.

Same.

I'm... actually very in the dark about the current trends, the magazines, the music videos floating around. I am only vaguely aware of who Niki Minaj is. And I never compare myself to models, or even other women/men on the street. It bothers me that people think I do, actually (that stereotype that people with EDs do all the time). I can't name one single model, and I can't even pick most of the current celebrities from Adam.

Mine are more related to a need for perfection. My own definition of perfection. Which doesn't necessarily fit society's. I honestly don't even know what society thinks is 'perfect'. I'm told it's skinny one day, and curvy the next. I don't even think society knows.

I have body image issues. I think many people do. It doesn't matter race, gender, nationality, weight, or any of that. Not everyone does. Not all women do. Not all men don't. It's not a gender exclusive thing. It happens to people of all backgrounds. I'm driven by a need to be perfect - my idea of perfect, no one else's. Which yes, causes some body image issues. I could point out many things about my body I don't like. From my breasts, to my gender, to my wide hips, to my cellulite (yes, even thin people can have that). It isn't weight for me, though. I'm driven more by a desire to eliminate that which makes me feminine. (Hard to explain, I'm not even going to try)

And for me, it has little to do with what other people think. In fact, at the height of my eating disorder, I was more worried they could see I was sick than whether they'd think I was fat.

As far as people go, you can't ever please them all. When I was big, I was told to lay off the food. Now, I'm often told to go eat a cheeseburger. You'll have someone judging you either way. The best thing to do is learn to love your body, regardless of its current state. The rest will follow.

Quoting just because these comments are perf.

I've realized that in ALL areas of life, including appearances, you can never please everyone. Trying to will make you crazy. So be who YOU want to be, not who others think you should be.

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

I know exactly where your coming from as a Hispanic women.... I guess the most important thing is to be happy with yourself and your personal goals, I know it's easier said then done but that is the only way you will feel better about your body image.

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

lol

I don't compare myself to models at all mostly because I don't read a lot of magazines or watch a whole lot of TV but what I do find I'm doing (and I do it A LOT) is I compare myself to other women at the gym and I hate that I do it.

I compare how their butts look in compression pants vs my butt and if you can see my "pouch" or if it's well hidden by the length of my top and so on. I feel like they're also comparing themselves to me, but in the "at least I'm smaller than her" way.

I also happen to carry my weight evenly, so it's not all in my stomach or thighs or whatever but I also am big, I've never been petite and I probably never will be, some people are just bigger than others. I was told a while ago that I'm very svelte and I have an incredible shape to my body, even if I'm not at the weight I want to be. This comment was made to me by a very close friend who is about 5'3 and runs all the time and has a tiny, petite figure. She mentioned she wishes she could build muscle like I do or have the quads I have . . . and she wasn't being fake either. Sometimes we need to step back and just look at those around us - maybe they wish they could have something you have. It's really hard to not wish for what you don't have but sometimes we need to look at who we are as people and enjoy it. I know there are always going to be women who make us want to go home and binge eat some cake but it takes all shapes and sizes - maybe you have amazing hair and the girl who is a size 2 beside you couldn't volumize her hair if her life depended on it. We all have these things other women wish they had but we need to stop comparing ourselves or think we should fit a certain size/type/body shape/whatever.

I am never (or probably never) going to be a size 2, and I'm ok with that. I've decided I am going to work on lifting and BF % instead because with the way I'm shaping up now, I think I'll like my body with more definition. It's ok to be a muscular woman, not every woman has to be 5'2 with a petite frame like the media seems to portray.

Love yourself! I think all women are amazing - short, tall, big, skinny, black, white, mexican, whatever - we are all awesome and we are all on here, doing our best to better ourselves. These kinds of posts make me sad because I know that even if you fit into that stereotype, you may not be happy. Being skinny =/= being happy . . . loosing the weight won't really change how you feel inside, although it may change how people perceive you (and that's a whole different story right there) but it won't make you happy or feel any better about your life. You need to love you, make the changes physically you need to, but love yourself and you will notice a huge change.

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

lol

Double LOL

I have more of a personality complex. I never know if I should get drunk and river dance or move to a cottage, cook, make cheese and raise three handsome sons named Vinny, Giovanni and Paulie. It is really ****ed up I wish I just bothered with my hair being either red or black.

Different people are more or less sensitive to comments from other people & social expectations. In addition, some people are more resilient when faced with mockery or abuse about their body. Also some people are particularly high consumers of media that contains this messaging in the first place. These reasons mainly explain why some people develop body issues and others don't.

Given that, I really struggle to understand some of the responses here. In particular things along the lines of "what are you even talking about, only superficial people attention to social norms" (obvs. I exaggerate for effect). Here are two examples of what I mean:

I'm mixed Mexican and white also and I have no problem with feeling like I don't fit in a certain body image stereotype. That's probably more an issue related to your personality than your race.

Absolutely not. [....] I have never felt any "social pressures" to fit some preconceived notion of what someone is "supposed" to look like or because of someone's notion of what sexy is.

Like...um...good for you? Do you think that because you've magically learned to love yourself, that somehow means it's as easy as flicking a switch for those people who haven't? I am confused I guess. Are these comments just people flaunting their confidence to try and make the OP feel even worse? Or are they merely oblivious to the need for sensitivity? Learning to love yourself and your body can be an extremely difficult journey for some people. There is nothing constructive in alienating that person further or making them feel stupid for believing damaging social messages in the first place.

To the OP -- It's a long process to get to your happy place. Just keep plodding along and trying to challenge all the nastiness you absorb from society. I agree with the other person who suggested affirmations. They sound really corny at first but can be quite helpful for gradually changing the way you view yourself.

I don't think the purpose of those comments were to make the OP feel stupid or alienate her. No one said "how dare you feel that way!" Everyone experiences life differently and they were just sharing their take. She asked a question and they answered it. I agree with you, self acceptance is a life long journey and I think it's constructive to hear from women that don't let societal pressure affect them as much to show that it can be overcome. Some women just simply choose not to care...I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Doesn't mean they're better...just different.

My 2 cents

Nothing wrong with that at all, of course. I think we should all strive to giver fewer f*cks about what other people think. Also I don't think the comments were malicious or anything, just the way they read was a bit...off. I sort of see it a bit like if someone had posted a thread asking for help with budgeting or something and everyone had responded being like "I don't know what you're talking about, I've always had tonnes of money". I just don't see what it's adding. It wasn't like they were giving suggestions. But whatevs. Not a criminal offence or anything!