Rudeness of a total stranger!
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OP, you think that your co workers don't notice how hard you are working to eat healthy and lose weight but you are wrong. When I am eating well, my co workers notice and they notice when some weight comes off, even 5 lbs. I have one in particular that comments that "You used to be big like this <hand out from belly estimating how big> and now your not." They may not be saying anything to you, but they are noticing. Keep up the good work! 8kg (almost 20lbs) is quite an accomplishment.0
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How often do evangelical Christians do this to complete strangers? Just straight up tell someone they need their help to avoid going to hell.
Think of it that way. He is just an evangelical gym rat.
Don't take it personally. Imagine how you'd feel if it were a plastic surgeon instead 0 -
The fact of the matter is that he came up to you, feeling the need to give you unasked for advice and help. He should've kept his mouth shut and continued eating his lunch or whatever he was doing before the dumb idea of harassing a complete stranger took over his brain. OP , great attitude and so cool that your co worker and went told him how rude he was.0
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OP: You can lose weight. Unfortunately for the other guy, there's no cure for being a c**t!
Sincerely, Bronn
heheh0 -
Because he was a little boy. A child. Who thought he was helping. Since it had worked for his dad. Children usually speak the truth.I had a strange little boy come up to me when I was waiting in line to pick up a prescription and tell me out of nowhere "What worked for my dad losing weight was whey protein, you should try it."
I was like "um, thanks..."
His whole demeanor bespoke politeness, I don't think he stopped to think that mentioning something like that around other people could be rude or embarrassing.
Has the world gone mad!?! Why do people think its ok to do this?
I'm done here, clearly we are supposed to be awwing and exclaiming how rude the guy was, rather than focus on fixing the problem.
Good luck on your journey.
I missed that it was a child...sorry. I thought you were being sarcastic when you said 'strange little boy' - I agree, kids are honest and naturally I don't hold them to the same standards as adults : )0 -
He was trying to sell you something. I can almost bet on it and its probably herbalife.0
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OP I couldn't tell you how many times working as a cashier I was asked when I was due....more often than not I just mumbled something and went on with the transaction (if I was feeling particularly sassy that day I'd look them dead in the eye with a deadpan voice and say "it's not a baby sir (it was always guys), I'm just fat". I only recently began losing weight so I use all the past hurts and comments about my weight to fuel my desire to become a healthier and lighter person. Gotta do this for you and not some a-holes who think it's their place to comment on how you look.
It's funny enough that someone brought up being told your hair looked bad, after getting a trim a hair dresser told me "come back and next time we'll get your hair to a more natural color". I was in high school and thought it was cool to have ultra light blond hair, I can tell you that I surely did not appreciate it and I did not go back. I think in general people are very self-conscience and being told that something about you (weight, hair cut, clothes) is unappealing to others is very hurtful.0 -
I had a strange little boy come up to me when I was waiting in line to pick up a prescription and tell me out of nowhere "What worked for my dad losing weight was whey protein, you should try it."
I was like "um, thanks..."
His whole demeanor bespoke politeness, I don't think he stopped to think that mentioning something like that around other people could be rude or embarrassing.
Has the world gone mad!?! Why do people think its ok to do this?
Because fat shaming is the new cool thing to do.0 -
Happened to me at the grocery store, this dude who was in shape came up to me and started asking if I worked out and would I need help and I was mortified. I mumbled something and walked away quickly. I told a friend who happens to also be in shape. She asked me to describe him and confirmed it was an herbalife salesman. She asked me what I was wearing and I told her it was gym clothes (the gym is up the street drone the grocery) so she figured that's how he targets people. She thinks she got solicited because her cart was full of fruits and veggies and whey protein lol. Maybe this guy saw an overweight person eating subway and drinking water and put two and two together. Don't let it get to you and keep on with what you're doing.He was trying to sell you something. I can almost bet on it and its probably herbalife.0 -
What a JERK = and i agree -= he was probably trying to sell you something. When your skinny and fit - find him and tell him youd like to help him with his attitude and social etitique issue
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Ok so maybe he was genuinely trying to offer help but jeez how humiliating! Sorry u had to deal with that OP
agree. Sorry you had to go through this0 -
Wow. It is difficult for him to generate business I suppose.
As a therapist, we were told it's fairly easy to walk up to a group of smokers and offer to help. 99% would be interested. We were, however, warned not to go up to overweight people as the reception wouldn't be so positive.
) 0 -
OP--how many Samaritans does it take til the stranger listens? So what I've gathered is children tell the truth, and adults what exactly? Ideally he could have pulled you away from the group, or waited til you were alone to say something. If you think he did it to belittle you maybe you ought to re-think it. My 2 cents. And in 6 months will you see him at the gym and thank him or will you tell him what a jerk he was. Either way, if you are the gym you found your way somehow. The issue isn't the stranger folks.0
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Sometimes there are people out there with mental illnesses, or just lacking in tact. It's important that you let it go, and go on with your weightloss. You will always find people like him, and if it's not weight it'll be something else. I, too, would try to think about your nice co-worker--what a positive! What if no one had defended you? Keep going slow but sure and good luck. 0
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Okay, I din't read all the replies. In these situations I want to say "I would rather have my fat than your manners" but then I chicken out...0
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Hey don't worry, it's troubling you now, but a few weeks from now, it won't even bother you. So, don't dwell on it, just focus on your weight loss, forget everything else.
When i was a 14, I was big, and I remember, one time I was in the market with my sister, and this guy from across the street, started yelling "fatso, fatso", the entire market started looking at me, I too was humiliated, but I was little, so I soon forgot all about it, just forget it girl.0 -
OP--how many Samaritans does it take til the stranger listens? So what I've gathered is children tell the truth, and adults what exactly? Ideally he could have pulled you away from the group, or waited til you were alone to say something. If you think he did it to belittle you maybe you ought to re-think it. My 2 cents. And in 6 months will you see him at the gym and thank him or will you tell him what a jerk he was. Either way, if you are the gym you found your way somehow. The issue isn't the stranger folks.
Honestly, I don't think he tried or set out to belittle me - in his mind he was 'helping' - I get that. But, I feel it is extremely presumptuous to approach a stranger in a shopping centre and say "there is help for people like you". Gosh, i'd never do that! I don't need to be in his gym - I have found my way and it involves a personal consultant, calorie counting and exercise in my own space - I've lost 18lb in 5 weeks and not looking back! Yes, I have my issues but this guy was rude.0 -
OP--how many Samaritans does it take til the stranger listens? So what I've gathered is children tell the truth, and adults what exactly? Ideally he could have pulled you away from the group, or waited til you were alone to say something. If you think he did it to belittle you maybe you ought to re-think it. My 2 cents. And in 6 months will you see him at the gym and thank him or will you tell him what a jerk he was. Either way, if you are the gym you found your way somehow. The issue isn't the stranger folks.
Honestly, I don't think he tried or set out to belittle me - in his mind he was 'helping' - I get that. But, I feel it is extremely presumptuous to approach a stranger in a shopping centre and say "there is help for people like you". Gosh, i'd never do that! I don't need to be in his gym - I have found my way and it involves a personal consultant, calorie counting and exercise in my own space - I've lost 18lb in 5 weeks and not looking back! Yes, I have my issues but this guy was rude.
Fair enough. Best of luck, continued success.0 -
what did he say that was rude?
Really? You don't think that approaching a stranger to point out their weight problem is rude? Where I come from - very rude!!!
Agreed you don't just approach some complete stranger in public and point something like that out. Honest private criticism from a friend is one thing but all what he was doing will do is humiliate people.
And good luck OP. I know it can be slow sometimes. But just keep trying things till you find a lifestyle that works for you.
he offered to help, he didnt point and shout 'fatty'... misguided yes, but hardly the worst thing someone could say!
So now she can't vent unless it was the worst thing someone could say?
Why do you get to decide what she finds offensive?
I can totally see the original poster's point of view.
I think that stranger was completely rude. He doesn't know her, he doesn't know what she's doing and he is incredibly presumptuous. You don't go up to total strangers and make the kind of comment he did. If she happened to be in a conversation with him and mentioned something about fitness or diet then sure, he could have interjected something at that point. But going up to random people, intruding on their private moments to tell them he can help them..no way.. rude.
so noone can have a different opinion to yours... ok then....0 -
This is not about difference of opinion, just because you don't find it offensive does not make this guy's behavior okay, OP is clearly hurt, and frankly if I had been in her place, I would have been too. If you cannot say anything nice to her, why not remain quiet0
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Creeping a food court to build business for fitness? That's what it sounds like and yes it's rude and in bad form. Sorry this happened to you.0
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wow, what a jerk! I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm sure he meant well but that was SO wrong. Keep strong and keep going! 8 kg is awesome
keep it up! 0 -
if it helps... a very similar thing happened to my 'slim' friend, she was out walking and he just approached from nowhere offering support... she was also quite upset.0
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I think he was pedaling gym membership or some weight loss product or his personal training services for a fee. This has happened to me twice before.. each time it turned out that the person was selling something.0
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How is this any different than Hare Krishnas or Jehovah's Witnesses approaching you? Just blow it off. Weirdos abound.0
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Ugh trust me I understand, once I was with my 2 (much skinnier) friends at the mall after getting ice cream. The other 2 finished their cups and we went into a shoe store (while I still had my ice cream) and the attendant came up to us and asked if we needed any help.
After we all said no, she looked me up and down and said, "You shouldn't eat so much ice cream, your friends probably don't eat ice cream, that's why they're so skinny while you're..." and at this point she blew her cheeks out and spread her arms around herself (to show I was bigger than them.
Thanks b*tch.
Anyone who tried that *kitten* with me would be picking their teeth up off the floor lol.
I like to pretend I'm a badass but at that moment all I could think to do was laugh awkwardly while my friends were angry enough on my behalf to berate her and drag me out of there.
Well yeah maybe i wouldn't have actually hit him. Was more a turn of phrase. I'm not so barmy to risk getting rung up on assault charges just because I meet someone rude. But I would have at least managed an insult right back. XD
Hahahaha I've definitely developed a sharper tongue since then. There have actually been days where I wander around that shoe store seeing if she still works there so I can think of a comeback 1 year in the making (but so far, nothing).
Someone else beat you to it .0 -
How often do evangelical Christians do this to complete strangers? Just straight up tell someone they need their help to avoid going to hell.
Think of it that way. He is just an evangelical gym rat. Don't take it personally. Imagine how you'd feel if it were a plastic surgeon instead
Great analogy!0 -
[ I don't need to be in his gym - I have found my way and it involves a personal consultant, calorie counting and exercise in my own space - I've lost 18lb in 5 weeks and not looking back! Yes, I have my issues but this guy was rude.
ironic posting on a public forum full of perfect strangers when you dont get 100% agreement.
good luck with your journey and issues.0 -
probably a recruiting drive going on at his gym. (just a joke)...
definitely inappropriate - especially since you were with others.0 -
that is so slack, know the feeling like being asked when your baby is due! or have you had your baby yet! I've had that one. so mean.0
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