MFP has really changed

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Replies

  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    I just want to say how much I am enjoying Chris Hemsworth's butt on "Thor" this afternoon.

    Now did you even consider how every single person who reads this will perceive it?
  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
    I don't think it's MFP that has changed. I think it's OP's that post silly topics and expect legit comments. I saw the post you are referring to and thought that most responses were trying to be helpful - but the OP had issues. Saw a similar one yesterday where the OP had been on here for I think 7 days and said she had lost 3 pounds (but also said she hadn't stepped on the scales) and was telling everyone how to exercise.

    Bad OP's make for bad threads...this one included!
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    I don't think it's MFP that has changed. I think it's OP's that post silly topics and expect legit comments. I saw the post you are referring to and thought that most responses were trying to be helpful - but the OP had issues. Saw a similar one yesterday where the OP had been on here for I think 7 days and said she had lost 3 pounds (but also said she hadn't stepped on the scales) and was telling everyone how to exercise.

    Bad OP's make for bad threads...this one included!

    I'll ask you also, did you think about how everyone reading will perceive you post?

    Oh man. I can't keep that up…I'm still reeling from someone suggesting that is how people should post. I think no one would post anything.

    People, open your minds to all opinions, put your big girl/boy panties on, read everything, research things, figure out what you believe, and go from there. It's really not hard.
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
    I started on this site for the first time about three years ago. At that time it was a wonderful place to get motivation and support. I found a lot of nice and helpful people. This site is suppose to be about supporting each other, but more and more I see people being less supportive and just down right mean. Some users seem to have an attitude that they are better because they have been a successful where another user wasn't as successful or is taking just a little more time.
    I have read multiple post today where a person asked a simple question and they were ridiculed for it. One poor girl simply asked what was the difference between light cleaning and heavy cleaning. That's all she wanted to know, but there were post after post about how she shouldn't log cleaning. It's not anyone's right to tell another person what they should and shouldn't log. If I decided to log "walking to my fridge to get a snack" it's no one's business but my own.
    I think some users are forgetting the reasons for a site like this. I also want to make it clear that I'm saying "some users", because there are still a lot of genuinely nice people on here.
    We all need to be kind to one another. Most of us have all been in the same situation and for the few of you that have always been fit and use the site to keep track of your fitness then you need to understand that it doesn't come as easy to some as it does to you. For the ones that have been overweight and out of shape remember where you have come from and how you felt in the beginning.
    It shouldn't matter if you are morbidly obese, too thin, or have never had an issue. We are all here for the same reason and that's to be the best us we can be. So, as I said before be kind to one another or you're disrespecting the site, the members, and yourself. It's fantastic to look good but real beauty still comes from within.

    I TOTALLY agree!! I have been on here since (maybe 2008) and I am appalled at the responses! I will refer to my topic "body image".

    Every ones story is different so I don't know what all the high and mighty "I know all because I lost weight" attitude is! If you don't have anything nice to say then go sit down and be quiet!!

    I remember that thread. Where you asked about other's experiences with body image issues and went cray-cray when people posted *gasp* their own different experiences, and even *omg* encouraged you to just love yourself as you are.

    Yea. They were sooooo mean. :huh:
  • Stiang
    Stiang Posts: 82 Member
    This whole "MFP is full of a bunch of meanies" has so run its course. This dead horse is so beaten you don't need a juicer...
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm sorry... Been really busy with work... Didn't know people would miss my excessive kindness.

    *hugs for all! *
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    This whole "MFP is full of a bunch of meanies" has so run its course. This dead horse is so beaten you don't need a juicer...

    Agreed! I'm tired of all the whining that's been happening lately, too. I've been on here a while and the only thing that's changed for the worse is threads about how everyone on here are a bunch of stuck up jerks. These types of threads are self perpetuating, mob mentality madness. We're all supposed to be adults on here, correct?
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
    This whole "MFP is full of a bunch of meanies" has so run its course. This dead horse is so beaten you don't need a juicer...

    Which is good because those things take out all the fiber.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    I'm sorry... Been really busy with work... Didn't know people would miss my excessive kindness.

    *hugs for all! *

    A nice, personalized group hug gif, would be lovely.
  • stephe1987
    stephe1987 Posts: 406 Member
    Unless your calorie allotment for the day is based on your BMR (stay in bed all day, not moving), I would not recommend logging or eating back your cleaning calories. That stuff is part of daily movement and is already counted into your calories for the day. Even the sedentary option (e.g. people with desk jobs) is higher than BMR. MFP usually overestimates how much was really burned and people don't always weigh/measure their food accurately. So it's more than likely going to lead to that person eating back a bit more than they burned, which means they will likely maintain or gain weight. If they're lucky (or have a lot of weight to lose) they'll lose weight but it will be slow compared to how much they could be losing for someone of their BMI and body fat percentage.

    Are people being mean? I don't think so. Unless they are name-calling or otherwise attacking your person, the people on here are simply trying to give good advice to help one another lose weight and get back to good health. I think we are used to nobody ever telling us that we're doing something wrong, that every bit of advice that isn't what we were wanting or expecting to hear is deemed "offensive" or "hurtful." If you are so sensitive that someone telling you what needs to be done so you can improve your health is hurting your feelings, then you're probably too sensitive to use online message boards. The truth is that only a small percentage of people have health issues preventing weight loss and everyone else isn't losing weight because they're eating too much food. Eat less than your body uses and you'll lose weight; chances are you're eating more than you think or your TDEE is less than you think. Eat a balanced diet or you're likely to get health problems (a normal-weight early 20's girl was only eating fast food and pizza and drinking soda and her doctor told her she had the heart of a 90-year-old). If you eat back exercise calories, be sure you know exactly how much was burned or you'll most likely eat back more than was burned.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
    I know you can't judge tone and intentions very well through text, but sometimes I get this kind of vibe from certain posts...

    butthurt-o.gif

    and others are like this

    i-shake-my-hairbrush-at-you.gif

    Or even

    tumblr_ma3vgk138j1qzihejo1_500.gif

    Sometimes, though, they make me do this

    rdlol.gif

    *nod nod* I know I've run into a few where I'm...

    c1f44a010529bfdfe6962a0bf6b9a212.gif

    yup.gif

    BEEBEEE.gif


    hjNTZB0.gif

    Can't let this thread go stale people are still getting off work in the States. FWIW the forums are the same as years ago except there are more people bouncing around. Some people are trying to help with hard truths, some people are trying to just be supportive, some are looking for giant ego strokes, and others just want to increase their post totals.

    The proportions seem the same, but as I said more people.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    I agree...but then again I've been on here for about 3 years and I feel like it's ALWAYS been like this lol. If anything, it just makes me laugh. It's the internet, you can't stop people from being mean! If it really bothers you how someone was treated, just PM them a nice message with a polite answer. That's what I do.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member

    FpcZH.gif

    ^^This made going through 9 pages worth it!

    So funny! And the partner cracking up the background.
    I think I'm going to just stare at this for a few minutes while I laugh like a small child.


    Honestly, mean people threads have the best gifs.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member

    You want mean, join a mommy forum and discuss whether or not you should vaccinate your kid...

    hahahahah ^^This!! So much this^^^


    I've been here for.....gosh I don't even know how long - but feels like an eternity. The so-called 'mean' people are the ones that have been the most influential and supportive to me in this journey. They've encouraged me to question things, ask for advice, to experiment with my own body and be willing to admit that i'm wrong, and help others - cos its what they do.

    The only mean people that I see are those that make posts like these.
  • zericaaaaa
    zericaaaaa Posts: 313 Member
    everyone loves to argue, simple as that
  • bbylynn1
    bbylynn1 Posts: 25 Member
    Yeah, I'm starting back up and definitely noticing that people were a lot nicer before! =/
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    Might I suggest that before you post a mean people thread that you read all the other mean people threads that have come before? And if you still simply must post it, then you have to wait until Friday. Because....Bingo.
  • OP don't take life so seriously. There are mean people everywhere, especially in the Internet. If a stranger behind a keyboard can get you so riled up, I think you have other issues. Are the MFP meanies right in their approach? Maybe not, but most of the time they actually know what they're talking about. And a lot of times they're funny as heck too. Have a good laugh, or hit the ignore button and move on with your day.
  • Sine688
    Sine688 Posts: 13 Member
    I like everything my friends post.

    I tend to stay away from the forums unless the title in "Recent Forum Topics" on my home page catches my attention.

    Groups are FAR more supportive than the forums.

    So are there groups to join on this site? I was here 4 or 5 years ago briefly and I'm thinking of coming back but need a place for support and accountability. Just asking.
  • Anyone bring a mop for all the salty tears in this thread?

    Pro tip OP (I know you're still watching, you aren't fooling anyone.) and OP's little supporters:

    No one here exists to validate you. No one here exists to tell you what nonsense you want to hear.

    If you're posting about diet pills, MLM crap, cleanses/detoxes and all other assorted wastes of time and money:

    You WILL be told in no uncertain terms that you're wasting time and money.

    You are not owed an apology, soft and fluffy words or "respect for your opinion" in that scenario.

    Posting about that crap can be a detriment to lurkers who are desperate to make a quick fix change.

    If you want to engage in that bunk, that's YOUR problem and yours alone.

    If you want to waste time and delude yourself into thinking that "heavy cleaning" is legitimate exercise, that's your business.

    Know that if you ask someone for an opinion, you will receive it. And chances are, it might be contrary to what your fragile ego needs to hear.

    That's no one's problem but yours.

    Part of being an adult is accepting that not everyone agrees with you, not everyone needs to agree with you and that you aren't entitled to respect for an opinion based on pseudoscience. Anecdotal evidence is all fine and well, but largely irrelevant.

    If you don't want to act like an adult, don't. That's your choice.

    But don't stamp your feet and cry when other people do.


    *This message has been brought to you by A Mean Person Who Isn't Interested In Your Feelings*
  • greentart
    greentart Posts: 411 Member
    I started on this site for the first time about three years ago. At that time it was a wonderful place to get motivation and support. I found a lot of nice and helpful people. This site is suppose to be about supporting each other, but more and more I see people being less supportive and just down right mean. Some users seem to have an attitude that they are better because they have been a successful where another user wasn't as successful or is taking just a little more time.
    I have read multiple post today where a person asked a simple question and they were ridiculed for it. One poor girl simply asked what was the difference between light cleaning and heavy cleaning. That's all she wanted to know, but there were post after post about how she shouldn't log cleaning. It's not anyone's right to tell another person what they should and shouldn't log. If I decided to log "walking to my fridge to get a snack" it's no one's business but my own.
    I think some users are forgetting the reasons for a site like this. I also want to make it clear that I'm saying "some users", because there are still a lot of genuinely nice people on here.
    We all need to be kind to one another. Most of us have all been in the same situation and for the few of you that have always been fit and use the site to keep track of your fitness then you need to understand that it doesn't come as easy to some as it does to you. For the ones that have been overweight and out of shape remember where you have come from and how you felt in the beginning.
    It shouldn't matter if you are morbidly obese, too thin, or have never had an issue. We are all here for the same reason and that's to be the best us we can be. So, as I said before be kind to one another or you're disrespecting the site, the members, and yourself. It's fantastic to look good but real beauty still comes from within.

    I TOTALLY agree!! I have been on here since (maybe 2008) and I am appalled at the responses! I will refer to my topic "body image".

    Every ones story is different so I don't know what all the high and mighty "I know all because I lost weight" attitude is! If you don't have anything nice to say then go sit down and be quiet!!

    I have to say that I actually responded to this and didn't think that anyone was being rude. You said "I am Mexican and White. So in the Mexican culture I am too skinny/not enough meat and curves. Then on the white side I am on the thick/borderline chunky side. So I have nonstop body image issue’s." Followed up with "This makes me wonder – do others have my same issue? Are you a mixed race and notice a huge body image difference? Also, Men - do you have body image issues or are the woman alone in this matter? What is your body image issue? "

    So, how is someone encouraging you to love your body and to not care about what society says... mean? Just... how?? You didn't ask for "stories pertaining to your issues with mixed culture bodies", you asked "Do others have my same issue? Have you noticed a huge body image difference? Do men also have this issue? What is your body image issue?"

    You see... that last question, is COMPLETELY OPEN. Q: "What's your body image issue?" A: "I don't have one. I think you should love your body no matter what society says." Response: "How mean you are, that's not what I asked, I call BS."

    That was a summation of the thread and how you responded when people didn't immediately agree with you.

    I just.... ugh.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm sorry... Been really busy with work... Didn't know people would miss my excessive kindness.

    *hugs for all! *

    A nice, personalized group hug gif, would be lovely.

    *nods*

    As requested...
    2014-09-25_06_02_42_zpspnz1rwgm.gif
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    I'm sorry... Been really busy with work... Didn't know people would miss my excessive kindness.

    *hugs for all! *

    A nice, personalized group hug gif, would be lovely.

    *nods*

    As requested...
    2014-09-25_06_02_42_zpspnz1rwgm.gif

    Bless you.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    I ate all my pretzels.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    I like everything my friends post.

    I tend to stay away from the forums unless the title in "Recent Forum Topics" on my home page catches my attention.

    Groups are FAR more supportive than the forums.

    So are there groups to join on this site? I was here 4 or 5 years ago briefly and I'm thinking of coming back but need a place for support and accountability. Just asking.

    Yep - there is a group for just about anything and anyone - from your location, your exercise preference, your favourite food types, hobbies etc. Theres a tab for Groups up ^^ the page along the banner - have a search and see what takes your fancy. Also, have a wander through the forums, ask questions, get to know folks and send them friend requests - I find the most meaningful interaction and support for me is on my own wall with my friends :flowerforyou:
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm sorry... Been really busy with work... Didn't know people would miss my excessive kindness.

    *hugs for all! *

    A nice, personalized group hug gif, would be lovely.

    *nods*

    As requested...
    2014-09-25_06_02_42_zpspnz1rwgm.gif

    Bless you.

    I aim to please. :wink:
  • FitForL1fe
    FitForL1fe Posts: 1,872 Member
    I ate all my pretzels.

    cgtpt.jpg
  • sunburntgalaxy
    sunburntgalaxy Posts: 455 Member
    [
    I keep offering my opinions, experiences, and advice because I hope someone reading my posts but not posting will maybe take them to heart and try them out. I don't necessarily post just for the OP, my friends, or anyone else, but I'm also posting for someone who has a question about something that they don't know how or are too afraid to ask. It's almost never because of one specific person that I offer advice.

    This is such a great point - because I was totally the other side (afraid to post) when I started on here because I didn't want to look like an idiot. And I learned a lot from reading all the posts. And I am always surprised how many mean people threads seem to be accusing the wrong people - the people who are helpful, knowledgeable, and who also happen to disagree with the OP in many of these threads - because the OP is fighting them and saying things like they are not sure why they aren't loosing on 1000 calories or something like that. From where I am sitting, it seems like a lot of the true mean people are the OP's who aren't having their bad ideas validated by everyone. And it is the people who post good, honest and helpful answers and then get treated poorly that are called mean by the oversensitive people, and yes, once they get fed up with the people who are being nasty to them and maybe they give up and make a snarky comment (or even better post an awesome cat gif). Sorry but at that point their sarcasm or snarkiness seems to be justified if you ask me because usually the OP and their supporters are just being ridiculous..
  • shapefitter
    shapefitter Posts: 900 Member
    I like everything my friends post.

    I tend to stay away from the forums unless the title in "Recent Forum Topics" on my home page catches my attention.

    Groups are FAR more supportive than the forums.

    Same here, but I thought I had to add my bit, just to defend this site. MFP is designed as an aid for people who wants to make a change in their life i.e. loose weight, gain weight, maintain, keep fit. I think the number of groups, on MFP is a sure indication of how successful MFP is, in its mission.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    In all seriousness, almost everything I post (gifs aside, of course) is meant to be helpful. I won't say it's always nice, because sometimes you have to be blunt and can't be supportive when someone is on the wrong path or needs a nudge in the wrong direction. I never try to hurt anyone's feelings, but there are times when I do see someone is an obvious troll or is trying to be mean, and in those instances, I will either get snarky (soft) or let the claws come out (hard).