Marriage vs. Singledom

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  • bbright53
    bbright53 Posts: 81
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    I love being married. . . .I'm on my third husband. :blushing:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    I love being married. . . .I'm on my third husband. :blushing:

    :laugh: 3rd time's a charm, eh? :drinker:
  • SuzieQT
    SuzieQT Posts: 188 Member
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    Why can't we be together but not have to be married?

    I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:

    We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.

    I like doing that too, lol. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now and it still amuses me to see the looks on people's faces when I tell them he's not my husband. Getting married is expensive anyway and we're broke but at least we're happy! :flowerforyou:
  • soup78
    soup78 Posts: 667 Member
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    single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.


    Awwe. But when you do find that "right person", you SHARE all these things. I understand having your own space too. Never lose track of who you are, and the things in life that make you happy!

    I can attest though: Couples who play together stay together! :wink:
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    well I'm just gonna be honest about it.... I miss sleepin around :smokin: lol
  • tamazinglee
    tamazinglee Posts: 186 Member
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    Why can't we be together but not have to be married?

    I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:

    We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.
    My husband was my "boyfriend" for 10 years before we got married. I never wanted to get married but then something in me changed it's mind (turning 30 helped). We'd been living together for 10 years - seriously, I moved in with him the day we met (long story) - our finances were "one". If we would have broken up....it would have been just as messy as a divorce. But I wanted to be married. I wanted to be a "real" family. He was all for it so off to Vegas we went. I still have my independence, I am still my own person (I didn't even take his name). I certainly don't take care of him like a pet...he feeds himself and cleans up after himself. I've never felt like his servant.

    My mom has had her "boyfrined" for 20 years and they have no desire or plan to ever marry.

    To each his own.
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    single anyday. maybe i'm a selfish *****, but i never understood the draw of havng to share your life with someone. sex, sure, snuggles ok, cleaning up after them, cooking for them, putting up with thei annoying friends and basically being their servant, no thanks. companionship is nice, but not so nice that i would give up my independence.

    Ya, I wouldn't have married that man either!!! EEEK!!!!

    Not all men are obnoxious! My husband is great at the snuggles, he isn't a pig, he cooks great (worked in a meat department when we were in school), we have the same friends, and serve??? We serve each other evenly...Hokay, he spoils me! He listens to my crazy talk, he is a great Dad, a fantabulous military guy. He's a goof sometimes, but perfect for me!

    My husband was diagnosed with cancer the day my daughter was born. I almost lost him 6 years ago. What a wake up call. We have had tough years, but we have worked through the sick days and here we are! He makes coffee for me in the AM and even rubs my feet to wake me up! Anyway...

    Not all men are a mess. :wink:
  • soup78
    soup78 Posts: 667 Member
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    well I'm just gonna be honest about it.... I miss sleepin around :smokin: lol

    :laugh: :laugh: You said it! You said it! *high fives* :bigsmile:
  • GravyGurl
    GravyGurl Posts: 1,070
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    I love being married. . . .I'm on my third husband. :blushing:

    :laugh: 3rd time's a charm, eh? :drinker:

    Wasn't charm for me... but I have been thinking of getting out there to start taking applications for ex husband number 4 :laugh:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    well I'm just gonna be honest about it.... I miss sleepin around :smokin: lol

    I hear you don't miss it much. {{{giggle}}}


    :flowerforyou:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    Why can't we be together but not have to be married?

    I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:

    We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.

    You mean like a "lease a man"??? With an option to upgrade or buy? :laugh: You are a crack up!

    Actually, I think I've found the "perfect man" for me! Yep, sure have! We get comments all the time about how happy we are together, and we are. :wink:

    But, I've been engaged before. Soooooo glad I didn't go through with it! Think of all the mess that would've created. We were just two weeks away from signing contract to buy a house. Then the light came on. :noway: We were together for 6 years, but only engaged the last 6 months. Everything on the outside was going good, but we were not meant to be.........found my upgrade! :bigsmile:

    LOL Love it!
  • soup78
    soup78 Posts: 667 Member
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    Why can't we be together but not have to be married?

    I enjoy calling him my SO- and I really enjoy shocking the *kitten* outta old fogies when they refer to my "boyfriend" of 3 years as my husband! :laugh:

    We're still single, in the term world, but committed on so many different levels.
    My husband was my "boyfriend" for 10 years before we got married. I never wanted to get married but then something in me changed it's mind (turning 30 helped). We'd been living together for 10 years - seriously, I moved in with him the day we met (long story) - our finances were "one". If we would have broken up....it would have been just as messy as a divorce. But I wanted to be married. I wanted to be a "real" family. He was all for it so off to Vegas we went. I still have my independence, I am still my own person (I didn't even take his name). I certainly don't take care of him like a pet...he feeds himself and cleans up after himself. I've never felt like his servant.

    My mom has had her "boyfrined" for 20 years and they have no desire or plan to ever marry.

    To each his own.

    hey, I'm turning 30 this year....:huh:

    Actually, we've talked about doing Vegas.....he's the one that wants the BIG wedding. Not me, never been that girl. Who knows, maybe vegas. And everytime I talk to his mom (whom I love) she always mentions marriage. She always tells me if we elope just give her a call soon after. So much pressure! Sheesh!

    I agree, to each his own.
  • Jackiemal
    Jackiemal Posts: 63 Member
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    Well I've always been single. I do like the independence. I can do what I want, when I want. This is really convenient for dieting as I decide what comes into the house. I don't have kids either so my time is my own. I'm taking online courses to get my BA in Health Science which I don't think I could handle with a full-time job and kids.

    However, it would be nice to have help in and out of the house. I'm not so modern that I wouldn't mind a man around to mow the lawn, take out garbage, fix things and take care of 'needy things' :blushing: inside the house. :laugh:

    Mostly, it would be nice to have someone to share life with, someone who loves you above all others.

    However, I do think girls/women need to live on their own some before living/marrying a man. That way you know you can take care of yourself and don't feel 'stuck'.

    Jackie

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    'How does one become a butterfly?, she asked. 'You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.'
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    well I'm just gonna be honest about it.... I miss sleepin around :smokin: lol

    I hear you don't miss it much. {{{giggle}}}


    :flowerforyou:

    I have never gone outside my marriage....:smile: physically :bigsmile: :embarassed:
  • frithir
    frithir Posts: 179 Member
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    When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know), I vowed that I would nevereverEVER marry again but I didn't count on one day encountering the one man who made me forsake that vow....and after 8 years of being married to him, I don't regret a single day of it. Oh yeah, there are moments when justifiable homicide seems a viable alternative but we muddle through it. I can honestly say that he's my best friend as well as being my husband so even in those moments I amthisclose to blasting him into oblivion, I have to stop and think that even if I don't exactly love everything about him at the time, dang it all, I genuinally LIKE the man :wink:
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know),

    That's crap. I have issues and my husband supports my decision to not have children. Good for you finding a better man! :flowerforyou:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know),

    That's crap. I have issues and my husband supports my decision to not have children. Good for you finding a better man! :flowerforyou:

    Ditto that! :angry:

    How can some people even look themselves in the mirror after doing something like that???? :angry:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    When husband #1 exited stage left just days after I had cancer surgery (I lost my ability to bear children so therefore, I wasn't a "real woman" anymore ya know), I vowed that I would nevereverEVER marry again but I didn't count on one day encountering the one man who made me forsake that vow....and after 8 years of being married to him, I don't regret a single day of it. Oh yeah, there are moments when justifiable homicide seems a viable alternative but we muddle through it. I can honestly say that he's my best friend as well as being my husband so even in those moments I amthisclose to blasting him into oblivion, I have to stop and think that even if I don't exactly love everything about him at the time, dang it all, I genuinally LIKE the man :wink:

    YEY YOU for all you have overcome! I love it!
  • MFS27
    MFS27 Posts: 549 Member
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    Marriage is the best part of my life. Here's a Kahlil Gibran quote that I think puts it better than I ever could:
    On Marriage
    Kahlil Gibran
    You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
    You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
    Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
    But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
    And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


    Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
    Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
    Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
    Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
    Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
    Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


    Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
    For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
    And stand together yet not too near together:
    For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
    And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

    I love Kahlil Gibran's work in "The Prophet". His words really speak to me - in fact, I want his quote on death to be read at my funeral. It is just moving.

    Anyways, when DH and I were going through a very rough period, I printed this quote for him (also by Gibran) - and gave him two wine glasses along with it - read and you'll see why.

    Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."

    And he answered:

    Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

    And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

    And how else can it be?

    The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

    Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

    And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

    When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

    When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

    Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

    But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

    Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

    Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

    Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

    When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
  • plantlady99
    plantlady99 Posts: 1,338 Member
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    I'll take marrage

    :flowerforyou:

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