ADVICE NEEDED - "adults" telling me that what I want to do i

You are 22; an adult and capable of making your own decisions. I moved in with my husband at 19 and I married him when I was 25.

He was/is my friend. We travelled together, made new friends together as well as our own friends and we have been together for 24 years and still happy with 3 lovely children.

Ignore your coworkers, do what you feel is right and IF things go wrong (which could be after 20 months or twenty years) then you will find out who your friends really are.

Good luck with the house-hunting.

Who cares what they think! This is your life and you are the one that is going to be responsible for your own decisions. Do I agree with you, no, but that's my opinion. In the end you can thank them for their concern, opinions and whatnot but this is your decision to make!

I am 23 and very very happily married with 2 children. We had a whirlwind courtship, moving in together almost right away and getting married within a year of our first date. There were tons of people that supported us, and many others that thought we were moving too fast and that I should have a life first. But in the end, we were adults that made our own decision to follow our hearts and do what we knew was best for us, as you and your boyfriend should do. Yes, the naysayers may anger you, but learn to let it go or use the frustration to fuel your determination to prove them wrong.
You seem to know what you want out of life (family, children), go after it. Think about it, talk about it seriously with your boyfriend and come to a mutual decision that is best for you guys. Consider everything that your co-workers (who I am sure only mean the best) have said, but know that the choice is yours, not theirs.
That having been said, I have no regrets about my marriage or my children, but there are plenty of times that I would like to go out and act like a crazy 20-some year old kid, but choose instead to stay home and be a responsible mother. There are things you miss out on starting a family young, but there are so many truly wonderful rewards in it as well.
Think about it, talk about it thoroughly, and then make a decision that you can follow through on with no regrets. Best of luck!

People always want to give their "two cents" about other people's lives. Remember this is YOUR life and although they may have your best interests in mind only you know yourself. I am 22 and I married last year July. It was the best decision of my life. I have been with my spouse for six years and I have never lived on my own. I went straight from living with my mother to living with my husband. I personally did not want to live with him without being married but that is my personal religious decision. I think that if you feel this is right and what you want then go for it! Not everyone wants to have the "wildlife" experience. I know that I did not. I had some fun but im not really into the drink till i dont remember and have crazy almost went to jail experiences. You can travel with your boyfriend if you would like.

I think it your choice and they can just deal with it! In the end its your life and you have to do whats right. If it turns out to be a mistake, learn from it and move on. Trial and error! Good luck!

I can only give you my personal experience and let you decide for yourself how to interpret it.

I met my husband in 1984 when I was 18 and he was almost 21. We moved in together in '87, got married in '88 and had our son in '89. All told, we've now been together for 27 years and will be celebrating our 23rd anniversary in June. We are the rare exception and I know it. Keep that point in mind. Most early marriages end in custody battles and child support payments. I'm not saying yours will, but the odds are the odds and it's something to keep in mind as you make your decisions. Money will probably be tight, especially if you have kids right away, and you will fight. It's how you handle those situations that will make or break your marriage.

When we were young, my husband and I had SO many things in common that we seemed perfect for each other. He's a great guy, he's never raised a hand in my direction and we rarely fight. That doesn't mean that it's been perfect and it certainly hasn't been easy. We've grown apart in a lot of ways over the years. We no longer have so much in common and we have hobbies that we do alone. We almost separated about 5 years ago. On the bad days, I wish we had. Most of the time, it's just status quo. You and your boyfriend will change over the years. Don't think you won't, because it's bound to happen. Again, it's how you handle those changes that will make the difference. It sounds like you already have your own hobbies, which is a good idea. You don't want to be completely joined at the hip in your free time. Make sure you both have a good understanding on what you want and what you expect out of things like: "If we have kids, will we both work? Will one of us stay home? How will we make ends meet on one income/with the added cost of child care?"

I've never been on my own. There are times when I seriously feel like I missed out on a lot of the "fun" my sisters had in their early and mid-20s. I think I would have liked to have tried living on my own. Here's another good example: My grandparents were married for 67 years when my grandfather passed away. For the next 6 years of her life, my grandmother missed him every day and yet over those years I watched her blossom into a completely different person. She was outgoing, she was witty, she went to the casino with her friends, she sang karaoke. She had been in the shadow of my extremely outgoing and funny grandfather for so long that her personality was only a shadow of his until he was no longer there to shade her.

All of this said, your co-workers are out of line, but I'm sure they are only doing it because they care about you and want you to benefit from their "experience". My advice would be to politely but firmly explain to them that you are old enough to make your own decisions, and while you value their input, you have made your decision and you hope that they respect you enough to accept it. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do. I hope your life is a long and happy one.

move in together but do not go into debt together - no joint loans, credit cards, bank accounts, car loans, etc.... that way if it doesn't work out you can walk away,probably with a broken heart but at least not in debt up to your eyeballs!!

this is really great advice!

yes, reality speaking here. This is truth!!! These can be hard lessons to learn so take it from someone who learned it painfully...no joint money (I'm talking about BIG stuff they named above) until you're at least engaged.

You're an adult...no judgements from me. Statistics do show that couples that live together prior to marriage typically have a higher divorce rate than those who do not cohabitate. That said....there are two questions to ask yourself: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Do the two of you respect yourselves enough (and value yourselves enough) to wait until marriage to cohabitate or have sex?

I agree, make sure to not commingle any debt, and keep separate accounts, and you should be fine.

I know I'm 22 and I was married at 18 to my wonderful husband. We now have three children and a great life and I wouldnt trade a single moment of it. EVeryone gave me a hard time bc of a big age difference between us but love is love and its noone elses business unless ur being hurt.

DO IT!!!! You have to test drive the car before you buy it! Then you will not be saying what if i had lived with him before we got married... i would have seen that hes a total pig....

Chances are the people telling you not to do it have a bitter taste in their mouth from their failed relationships. Negitivity breeds negitivity. Surround yourself with positive people that support YOUR decisions in YOUR LIFE!!!!!

You are the adult, you have to make the choices and stick to them. Opinions are just that opinions, they don't make or break your life. I would talk to your boyfriend and you make the decision with him. BE ASSERTIVE

ive been living with my husband since i was 16, 1st house was a house share, then we moved into our own flat then when i was 18 we moved into our own house had some problems so we moved in with my mum with a son (who was about 8 months at the time!!!) and then last year in aug we moved into our own brand new house with 2 kids im 21 this year my partner is 23, no 1 ever tried to stop us from living together my mum wasnt happy but i moved in with him and his house mate so they could afford to live there it was nice to have that freedom aswell!

do whats best for you i personaly say go for it

I know how it is. I was there and done that and now I can right the book. I thought that was the only thing that was going to make me happy in life, was to get out, live with someone that will love, or at least a little interested in me, have couple of kids and live happy ever after.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did just what I wanted then and now I look back and wish I did all the fun crazy things. I love my husband and children, but what if I finished college, got to go to all the fun parties, have lots of friends till the end. But, I don't. My husband got to experience some of the things a young adult gets to do, he is 5 years older than me and attended college at Georgia Southern, a school known for party harty.

I always cry when the song from Reba McEntire, "Is There Life Out There" comes on. Look it up on Youtube and listen to it.

Think hard and long about what you could be giving up.

Consider the generation gap. These "adults" grew up in a very different time. Our generation is more open to things and less conservative than their generation. If your family approves of him then I say go for it!! I am the same as you. I always pictured myself getting married and having a family at a younger age. I want to be the active young parent that can actually do things with my kids, not the older parent that might be confused as a grandparent!!! LOL Everyone has the right to their opinions, but in the end it is YOUR decision.

Bottom line, it is your life. Take what all those who care about you say into consideration and make your on decision. Pro and con it and you'll find out for yourself. I lived WAY too much of my life being swayed by other people's opinions and I wish now that I had had the spine to stick up for myself back then. My life might be so different than what it is now (not that my life is bad or anything. But, instead of being an accountant I might have been an interior designer or architect). I was 26 before I "found" myself and yes, you can "find" yourself while being in a romantic relationship.

Your co-workers are jaded by their past experiences and it isn't right for them to portray what they went through onto you and your boyfriend. However, be realistic about things. It is possible that it might not work out between you and your boyfriend. It might happen that you see a different side of him while living together. But, it might work out and you "live happily ever after." You never know. I agree, you can't live life based on fear and not do things because everyone tells you one way or the other. Out of everyone who's give you advice (solicited or unsolicited) trust you and your parents first . . . that's who knows you best

You can live up your 20's while in a relationship too. It's when you start having kids and buying a house etc. that you're more tied down. Go on vacations, with or without your boyfriend. Experience life to it's fullest while your young and carefree (be careful and wise about it thought). Oh, and next time your co-worker(s) say something, thank them for their concern but you've listened to them before and there is no need to repeat themselves again and again. Stick up for yourself.