My parents tried to murder me.

i love this thread reminds me of all the fun we had as children.... my parents decided to move from texas to pennsylvania and since they didn't have a home or rental in PA they bought a church bus, then took most of the seats out, then they furnished it with a couple mattresses, a couch, and a cooler. we then drove that bus to PA parked in the parking lot at the local pool and went to school from there until dad found a job and rented a house. oh and the dog and cat came along for the ride.....lol

I was 7 or 8 riding my little bike on a very busy street to ABC Liquor store with a note:

"I give my permission to Joyce to purchase 2 packs of Pall Mall Red Cigarettes [mom's signature]"
and THEY SOLD THEM TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!! :noway: I could then buy a Chick-o-stick with the change ten cents! HAHAHAHAAA

I also remember it was always a race to get grandpa his next Coors, if you got granpda the beer, you got to open it and have the first drink. :bigsmile: We were barely tall enough to open the fridge!!

Man, at 43, I feel like an old timer! GOOD TIMES!!

YES!!!!!!! I used to do this for my grandma! We got to buy candy cigarettes with the leftover change! I don't even think they sell candy cigarettes anymore.....

My car seat as an infant was a laundry basket. When I was a kid, roaming without a car seat, I didn't fear an accident, I feared my mom with a flyswatter.

:laugh: :laugh: Mine was my mom with her wooden spoon, LOL

I never saw my mom use that wooden spoon for cooking.

Neither did I, LOL. She would just go to the drawer and I would start running, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

HAHAHAHA!!!! My mom used the wooden spoon on us too!! Or a hairbrush, whichever was closest to her at the time! :laugh:

My mom was a "progressive" liberal California hippie and she STILL paddled our *kitten* with the wooden spoon. What happened to true liberalism!?! If you so much as grab a kid wrong they throw you in jail. My bro took his kid to the bathroom for some butt-strokes in Target. The security guard said "what are you doing?" My bro said "if I don't do this now, he'll come back and steal from you in ten years. Do you want that?"

LOL@ fly swatter! We had to cut out own switches out of an oak tree. If they weren't big enough, she'd make us go get a bigger one

Wow, LOVE this thread, just LOVE it ta pieces!!
-Riding bikes w/o helmets and/or a friend on the handlebars
-Crashing said bike and losing chunks of flesh but being more worried about getting in trouble for damaging the bike and/or cloths
-Drinking out of the garden hose if you were outside and thirsty
-Being forced to eat liver for dinner at least once a month :P
-Riding in the open back of pickup truck, or hanging legs off the open end of the pickup truck
-Thinking a garbage bag would make a great parachut and being encouraged by my mother to try it off the roof of the house
-8:00pm bed time, even in the summer when the sun was still up.
-Summer Vacation was picking weeds in the yard on Saturdays.
-Playing Kickball in the street.
-"Swimming" in any and all creeks, ponds, mud puddles.
-Trip to the "Water park" was the sprinkler in the front yard.
-Fancy "Rich" friends who had the Slip N Slide along with their sprinklers.
-Being forced to ware plaid polyster bell bottoms.
-Insisting the WHOLE family had to pile into the car in the middle of the summer at high noon to ride to the gas station and get in the gas lines during the 70's, when EVERY car had cheap black plastic seats that fused with your flesh in the summer heat.
-Only going to the hospital if a bone was showing or a bandaid couldn't stop the bleeding.
-Being told, after falling out of the back of the pickup while it was moving, "Quit playing around and act like you got some sense!"

Yes, I most definately have turned into one of the "old people" remembering walking 5 miles backward up a hill in the snow barefoot.....oh, that's another one...

-Mom's great idea, "Get your brother and go out barefoot in the snow, I bet you can't make it to the street and back!" Then she locked the door behind us laughing.
-Sleding in the snow on cookie sheets because there was "no reason to spend money a sled, you're small enough for a cookie sheet."

Oh, just let me stop now...

I still have bone chips in my elbow from my mother hitting it with the knife handle for having my elbows on the table.

I wanted to take a minute out to post to this thread.

You, sir, the OP -- I would like to install you as Grand Overlord of the World.

Couldn't agree more (I loved Lawn Jarts/Darts!).

I'm saddened to see people getting softer and softer. School buses that stop at every block. People scurrying from one climate-controlled environment to another. I see people quickly whip out their car's sun-visor to the driver's side window when the sun has barely come over the horizon.

I've even seen someone on a "news" program all but recommend an entire second kitchen exclusively for cooking chicken.

Humanity is starting to live in self-made bubble.

I have thought this a million times as an adult, and particularly as a parent: My mom wanted me dead.

I won't repeat the many, many things that have already been listed that my mother put me through, but I will mention that when I was 4-5 we lived on the borders of a forest. A real forest. An old-growth forest, up here in WA state. There was little underbrush, but there were all sorts of animals out there that could have eaten me, there were rivers to drown in, poisonous plants, miles and miles to get lost in. My mother would tell me to go play in the woods, and I'd stay in the woods, by myself, from the time I got up until the time I could barely see through the dark to get out of the forest--in the summer, and in the snow. So deep into the woods, that no one would even know where to start looking for me if they wanted to. Looking back on it, this was neglect for sure, even by the standards of those times. When I got hungry, I'd eat the fat, green clovers the grew on the forest floor. When I had to go to the bathroom, behind a tree I went. And I just made believe.

One one hand, I think it's sad, and I feel sad for Little Me. On the other hand, I will never forget that place or how much a part of it I was, so long as I live.

I really, really love this thread.