My parents tried to murder me.

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  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    Apparently this is true. My husband was accident prone. He would have to go to the ER often for jumping out of windows into hay stacks or careening down hills on a bike. Anything his older sister cooked up for him to try. She would send him in a TAXI all by himself to the ER! Where they knew his name!
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I was in grade school and my parents would boil shrimp and crab and we all sit at the table eating it. My dad would pour sips of beer in my cup and laugh when I was tipsy!!!

    i would be in jail today if I did that to my kids!!! LOL!! But it was fun then!!
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    So I was watching a YouTube video where these guys fall out of a truck, and for some reason it reminded me of my childhood.

    Pretty sure my parents didn't like me... I mean, I ate raw cookie doe, rare beef, we played lawn darts, had no idea what a seat belt was, rode in the bed of a pick up, went boating without like preservers, they made me push now the whole yard. I think I was the only 8 year old around that could drive a mule team. I had to cut tobacco until I puked, haul hay, shoot pigs in the head, strangle chickens to death. I ate mercury fish from the lake. There was a loaded M1 carbine in the kitchen, WITH OUT A TRIGGER LOCK! They wouldn't let me watch TV after 8 o'clock, I got a rope for Christmas one year. No matter bow hot, or cold, or rainy it was I had to go outside and play.

    Yup. They was trying to off me for sure.
    [/quotw

    Pulling tobacco plants is what made know I HAD to go to college.
  • EricJonrosh
    EricJonrosh Posts: 823 Member
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    i love this thread reminds me of all the fun we had as children.... my parents decided to move from texas to pennsylvania and since they didn't have a home or rental in PA they bought a church bus, then took most of the seats out, then they furnished it with a couple mattresses, a couch, and a cooler. we then drove that bus to PA parked in the parking lot at the local pool and went to school from there until dad found a job and rented a house. oh and the dog and cat came along for the ride.....lol

    This story is better than the plots of the last five movies I've seen.
  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
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    So I was watching a YouTube video where these guys fall out of a truck, and for some reason it reminded me of my childhood.

    Pretty sure my parents didn't like me... I mean, I ate raw cookie doe, rare beef, we played lawn darts, had no idea what a seat belt was, rode in the bed of a pick up, went boating without like preservers, they made me push now the whole yard. I think I was the only 8 year old around that could drive a mule team. I had to cut tobacco until I puked, haul hay, shoot pigs in the head, strangle chickens to death. I ate mercury fish from the lake. There was a loaded M1 carbine in the kitchen, WITH OUT A TRIGGER LOCK! They wouldn't let me watch TV after 8 o'clock, I got a rope for Christmas one year. No matter bow hot, or cold, or rainy it was I had to go outside and play.

    Yup. They was trying to off me for sure.

    A ROPE?????
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    I was 7 or 8 riding my little bike on a very busy street to ABC Liquor store with a note:

    "I give my permission to Joyce to purchase 2 packs of Pall Mall Red Cigarettes [mom's signature]"
    and THEY SOLD THEM TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!! :noway: I could then buy a Chick-o-stick with the change ten cents! HAHAHAHAAA

    I also remember it was always a race to get grandpa his next Coors, if you got granpda the beer, you got to open it and have the first drink. :bigsmile: We were barely tall enough to open the fridge!!

    Man, at 43, I feel like an old timer! GOOD TIMES!!

    YES!!!!!!! I used to do this for my grandma! We got to buy candy cigarettes with the leftover change! I don't even think they sell candy cigarettes anymore.....

    I think I saw some candy cigarettes in a candy store in PA last year. I couldn't believe they still sell them.
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230 Member
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    Pfft...my minister tried to drown me when I was 5.

    Know you know why I am an atheist. firedevil.gif


    Me too! lol
  • 3ur3ka
    3ur3ka Posts: 230 Member
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    My car seat as an infant was a laundry basket. When I was a kid, roaming without a car seat, I didn't fear an accident, I feared my mom with a flyswatter.


    :laugh: :laugh: Mine was my mom with her wooden spoon, LOL

    I never saw my mom use that wooden spoon for cooking.


    Neither did I, LOL. She would just go to the drawer and I would start running, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    HAHAHAHA!!!! My mom used the wooden spoon on us too!! Or a hairbrush, whichever was closest to her at the time! :laugh:

    My mom was a "progressive" liberal California hippie and she STILL paddled our *kitten* with the wooden spoon. What happened to true liberalism!?! If you so much as grab a kid wrong they throw you in jail. My bro took his kid to the bathroom for some butt-strokes in Target. The security guard said "what are you doing?" My bro said "if I don't do this now, he'll come back and steal from you in ten years. Do you want that?"


    Sweet jeebus jumping on a pogo stick. Your brother is my hero.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Ironically the security guard would like that because it was job security.
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    I was just talking about this to my mother the other day...We rode 3-wheelers (yes 3 wheels not 4) starting about age 7 with NO helmet. We would ride all over the place and into the strip pits..no one would see us for HOURS!! If we ran "in and out" of the house we got locked out and had to use the bathroom in the toilet in the barn LOL. We NEVER worried about snakes or wild animals, didn't even think about them. My kids have flat screen tvs in their room, I had a SMALL black and white with local channels only and an antenna LOL. No directv for us! We jumped on a trampoline WITHOUT spring pads much less a net around it. We rode in the back of pickup trucks sitting in lawn chairs on the way to the local swimming pool. I remember 1 year we went to the beach (about 5 hours away) and we sat in the back of a camper truck with blankets and pillows. It had a small sliding window to the cab and my dad rigged up a cardboard piece to place in the window to "cool" the bed of the truck LOL. and YES we all survived it.
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    Wow, LOVE this thread, just LOVE it ta pieces!!
    -Sleding in the snow on cookie sheets because there was "no reason to spend money a sled, you're small enough for a cookie sheet."
    Oh, just let me stop now...

    We used our round plastic swimming pool from summer to sled down the hills (recycle hehe)
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    LOL@ fly swatter! We had to cut out own switches out of an oak tree. If they weren't big enough, she'd make us go get a bigger one

    LOVE this one too, we had to go get our switches off a wheeping willow tree..those switches wrap around your legs when they strike!
  • marielenrdz
    marielenrdz Posts: 52 Member
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    Loving this thread!! Brings back awesome memories!!

    I remember living in the country and being gone all day, just exploring woods and fields and desolate county roads! We got spanked with anything available....the favorite weapon of choice: the dreaded "chankla"....or sandal...lol. Mom would whip it off her foot and and swat the daylights out of us for backtalking!!

    I remember skipping school and being left with my best friend at a Frankie Goes to Hollywood concert when I was 13! We wondered the downtown streets and even got to meet Ped, Mark and Nash!! Wow! At fifteen, we were left on our own once again (and skipped school again, too) to wonder around downtown for a Crowded House concert and once again, got to meet the band! All this with our parents okay!! (no, we weren't groupies!!!)

    Seatbelts? Non-existent! As toddlers we would jump up and down on the back seat of our LTD while Daddy drove. We would all cram at the back of the school bus and the driver would drive like a speed demon down the bumpy dirt road so we could feel like we were on a roller coaster ride!!! When I was in the fifth grade, my aunt dressed me up like a hooker for halloween with makeup, a mini skirt and high heeled boots with a pocket for dress up day at school!! The teachers thought that it was cute and original and gave me dollar bills to put in my boot pockets!! WTF? That's wrong on so many levels!!! LOL But it was fun!
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
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    I still have bone chips in my elbow from my mother hitting it with the knife handle for having my elbows on the table.
  • spcopps
    spcopps Posts: 283
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    I still have bone chips in my elbow from my mother hitting it with the knife handle for having my elbows on the table.

    LMBO When I was in 1st grade if we put our elbows on the lunchroom table our teacher would simply come remove our tray and we didn't get to finish our lunch. Today that would be child abuse but even now at age 35 I NEVER put my elbows on the table.
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
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    Wow, LOVE this thread, just LOVE it ta pieces!!
    -Riding bikes w/o helmets and/or a friend on the handlebars
    -Crashing said bike and losing chunks of flesh but being more worried about getting in trouble for damaging the bike and/or cloths
    -Drinking out of the garden hose if you were outside and thirsty
    -Being forced to eat liver for dinner at least once a month :P
    -Riding in the open back of pickup truck, or hanging legs off the open end of the pickup truck
    -Thinking a garbage bag would make a great parachut and being encouraged by my mother to try it off the roof of the house
    -8:00pm bed time, even in the summer when the sun was still up. :(
    -Summer Vacation was picking weeds in the yard on Saturdays. :(
    -Playing Kickball in the street.
    -"Swimming" in any and all creeks, ponds, mud puddles.
    -Trip to the "Water park" was the sprinkler in the front yard.
    -Fancy "Rich" friends who had the Slip N Slide along with their sprinklers.
    -Being forced to ware plaid polyster bell bottoms.
    -Insisting the WHOLE family had to pile into the car in the middle of the summer at high noon to ride to the gas station and get in the gas lines during the 70's, when EVERY car had cheap black plastic seats that fused with your flesh in the summer heat.
    -Only going to the hospital if a bone was showing or a bandaid couldn't stop the bleeding.
    -Being told, after falling out of the back of the pickup while it was moving, "Quit playing around and act like you got some sense!"

    Yes, I most definately have turned into one of the "old people" remembering walking 5 miles backward up a hill in the snow barefoot.....oh, that's another one...

    -Mom's great idea, "Get your brother and go out barefoot in the snow, I bet you can't make it to the street and back!" Then she locked the door behind us laughing.
    -Sleding in the snow on cookie sheets because there was "no reason to spend money a sled, you're small enough for a cookie sheet."

    Oh, just let me stop now...

    Are you surre you're not MY kid??!! That sounds like stuff we'd do!! HAHAAAAHAAA
  • JoyceJoanne
    JoyceJoanne Posts: 760 Member
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    Kids don't have it so bad anymore... Really.

    They can be as stupid as they want...They will survive. Darwinism doesn't work anymore.

    We could however solve part of the problem. Just take the safety labels off of everything and let them sort it all out. :laugh:

    Too bad I'm married.... I like the way you think!
  • TonyTrinch
    TonyTrinch Posts: 48
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    I still have bone chips in my elbow from my mother hitting it with the knife handle for having my elbows on the table.

    ROFL!! I instinctively jerked by elbows back just from reading this, almost spilled my morning coffee!! I seriously thought my mother was the only one with "Elbow Issues." :laugh:
  • xxMsComptonxx
    xxMsComptonxx Posts: 53
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    just b/c you didnt get every thing you wanted as a child and did things you didnt want to do doesnt mean your parents tried to murder you or disliked you!! what child doesnt like raw cookie doe!! and who the hell wore seatbelts that long ago!?!?. all those things your complainging about are called CHORES which every child should have (maybe not soo many but tht was then and this is now) no TV after 8 sounds good to me. 9 was my bedtime. (lights from a tv/comp trigger your brain tht its NOT bedtime and wont be soon) stop feeling sorry for yourself and be happy you had parents tht raised you. BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU THINK YOU HAD IT, THERES ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO HAD IT WORSE!!. k.

    Funny how everyone seemed to get the sarcasim and laughter out of this post but you seem to be the only one who didnt get it... LOL! that makes me laugh... you getting rude and making yourself look like an *kitten*.
  • JohnnyNull
    JohnnyNull Posts: 294 Member
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    I wanted to take a minute out to post to this thread.

    You, sir, the OP -- I would like to install you as Grand Overlord of the World.

    Couldn't agree more (I loved Lawn Jarts/Darts!).

    I'm saddened to see people getting softer and softer. School buses that stop at every block. People scurrying from one climate-controlled environment to another. I see people quickly whip out their car's sun-visor to the driver's side window when the sun has barely come over the horizon.

    I've even seen someone on a "news" program all but recommend an entire second kitchen exclusively for cooking chicken.

    Humanity is starting to live in self-made bubble.

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