A comment about your weight that still bothers you...
dustyhockeymom
Posts: 537 Member
I have been thinking about my goals as I make this journey and I have decided that one is going to be based on a comment that was made to me over 20 years ago. When I was a teenager, I had just started to gain weight and my step-mother (enough said) told me that I couldn't wear my hair short because it made my head look too small in proportion to my body. I really liked myself with short hair, but I have never forgotten that. It has always come to my mind when I think about cutting my hair. Its amazing to me to think that I have been so impacted by that one remark. So I think when I reach my goal weight I am going to get a cute short sassy haircut!
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Replies
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Why wait! Do it now!1
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Good for you! Work it!0
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I'm sorry she said that to you. it's amazing the comments we take with us. Sadly it's usually the bad ones.
So a cute sassy short haircut is another motivator for you
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"You can't be a cheerleader, Linds, I'm almost positive they don't have uniforms in your size, besides, how are you going to get your body to jump all that weight?"
My lovely mother told me this3 -
A friends mom told me that "If you keep eating like that you will become as big as a house!". I gained a bunch of weight since then, but the picture that threw me into my diet , i looked as big as a house...sooo....i keep that in mind when I can't stop eating!! It makes me choose healthier optins.1
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don't let her have that power over you!!! and besides you have changed so much in 20+ years....you're gonna look awesome with some cute sassy haircut....rock it!0
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Why wait! Do it now!
ABSOLUTELY; DO IT!!!!
A couple Easters ago, my aunt said, "Ashley, you've put on weight". Thanks, nice of you to notice....she's a paranoid skitzophrenic, so I didn't take it too seriously, but I still remember it and probably always will.1 -
When I was 12, my mom said she was embarrassed to be seen with me. I look at old pics and I wasn't even that big just chubby. This spiraled me into an eating disorder and I lost 40 pounds....then she was happy to go out with me.
She still comments on my weight.1 -
I have had a comment said to me when I was younger and it stuck with me till this day... worse part came from my dad....
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"You would be so pretty if you were thinner." My mom, god bless her, meant to say that I'm pretty now, but I would be prettier. Unfortunately, even though my rational mind knew what she meant to say, my emotional mind freaked.1
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Its funny that you posted this because I will always remember boys calling me bubble butt, of course now I wish I had the bubble, but it has always stuck to me. And someone once told me I looked good from the waist up, the waist down is what needed work.......1
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I have had a lot of comment made about my weight, and I wish I could forget them but I can't. However last night I was looking at my arms and realized I have visible tricep muscles. I recalled that my dad used to pinch the back of my arms and call me bingo arms. He meant it as a joke I think but he didn't realize how hurtful it was for me. Bingo arms no more!!0
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Go for it. If you hate it it'll grow back.0
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How about "you would be pretty if you lost 30 lbs" fun stuff :grumble:1
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don't wait do it now!!) 0
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I remember when I was 7 my grandma was sitting beside me and grabbed my leg and said how cute they look like sausages in those tights . Now I was only about 15 pounds over weight when I was little but it has stayed with me to this day everyone in my family is thin or at least normal as far as weight goes i have always been the big one and i am finally going to join them in this one day at a time getting closer to my goals0
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Good for you! I agree with the posts above... why wait?! Do it now!
My own grandmother once told me, "Nobody will ever love you if you're fat." I'm engaged now and he tells me daily that he doesn't care if I gain 5000 pounds, lose all my hair, get covered in boils or sport a hump, he'll still love me. ^_^
You can do it and you'll be fabulous!1 -
The one that has me really trying to refocus was when an ex-boyfriend saw me and he said, " I guess all Stay at Home Mom's are bound to not have the time to be fit and healthy." HA!!! What an A@$!1
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It really amazes me that MOMs will say this to their kids. My mom never made those comments (I was never really fat but I was chunky and always had a big belly because I ate nothing but sugar). My dad on the other hand like to pick on my about my belly - and this was during puberty! He was always overweight.
Now he's on dialysis and one of the reasons I am here.0 -
Do NOT wait! Do it now, consider it one huge step in personal acceptance. Keep working towards your goal, but you are more than your weight! Good luck on your journey!!!
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It is sad how the words of others can affect us for the rest of our lives, if we allow them to. I was told as a young child that I was built like an "Amazon" and I didn't even know what that meant until years later, but it made me feel bad and self consious for many years. I sometimes still have trouble looking in the mirror and liking what I see. And I love short hair!0
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I had a boyfriend tell me to not workout cause he like me fat cause then noone else would love me. Dumbed his *kitten*. lol People are mean. I had the she would be hot if she wasnt fat comments to. Now I get your to skinny. Wish they would make up their minds or not. My body is for me not them.0
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Why cant you be as skinny as your sister? It only took her 15 lbs! ( my sister was biggest at a size 7)
Gotta love my dad1 -
I've struggled with my weight all my life... I was in 4th grade (I know, crazy that it's stuck with me so long) and I wore a babydoll shirt my mom got for me. I really liked it, but some boy on the school bus yelled, "You look pregnant!" Like he even knew what being pregnant looked like, but it hurt my feelings so badly, I still haven't let it go... and I never wore that shirt again.
Looking back on that and having kids myself now, I shoulda got up, walked back to him, and popped him once in the mouth... bet he wouldn't have picked on me or anyone else again!
And there was this boy who lived down the street from me my entire childhood... he called me "tugboat" until I told him off (crazy like) in the 9th grade. I sucked it up and sucked it up and finally had enough. He never made fun of me again.0 -
My mother told me I looked "disgusting" in the shirt I was wearing. When I told her it hurt my feelings but that I was fine with the way I looked (I was not overweight by the way), she gave me a look and said, "Well I think you should WANT to do something about your stomach!". I know that's pretty minor, but it till haunts me sometimes. It's one thing for a stranger or someone who dislikes you to say such things, but for my mother, who's supposed to love and support me unconditionally, it was pretty upsetting.1
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When I was a kid, my dad said that my weight was the reason we didn't go on "more fun trips" as a family. It still hurts a little. I felt like I was letting my family down, but also didn't have the tools/support I needed to change.1
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A friend's sister told me "You are so cute from the shoulders up." Wow. And she thought she was complimenting me. 18 years later...a real motivator to work the shoulders down! Too bad she won't be around to see it (friendship ended shortly there after.)
As a Step-mom, may I apologize for yours. Its a fine line we tread and I'm truly sorry that she crossed it so rudely.0 -
In late 2001/early 2002 I was attending Weight Watchers and was doing really well. I got down to a size 14 in ladies jeans. My soon to be father-in-law said to me "Don't lose anymore weight or Jeremy won't want you anymore he's always liked big women." I was shocked and my brain says to me "not true" but shortly after that we had a house fire and lost everything and I stopped going to WW and used the fire as an excuse but I have never been that size again since. Last night I finally came to the realization that maybe that one statement (which my father in law probably thought was a humorous way to recognize the weight I had lost at the time) had stuck in my head and caused me to subconsicously eat more, exercise less, etc... Just last night I finally told my husband about it and I felt I needed to say it out loud to prove how baseless it was so I could make sure to move past it as I think in a few months I will be back to that size 14 1
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"You could be a model if you lost the weight" Was meant to be a compliment but it made me feel like I'll be ugly as long as I'm overweight
and "You could be a female wrestler" Was said by the same person back when China was the ONLY female wrestler and it made me feel like crap. Again meant to be a compliment but still hurt0 -
I really hope I've never said anything to my daughters that made them feel so bad about themselves.0
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