Mean people on MFP

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hansolo420
hansolo420 Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone. I posted in a forum on this site yesterday with some questions regarding eating habits. I received a private message from a very mean person saying very mean things that are not meant for a support site, or ever really. Is there anything I can do (besides blocking the user) so they cant do this to anyone else? This is supposed to be a supportive community. I am very disappointed.
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Replies

  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Report them, if you felt it was abusive. Otherwise, no. And the "ignore" feature has been disabled I think. He sounds like a sad sack. Sorry that happened.
  • MakePeasNotWar
    MakePeasNotWar Posts: 1,329 Member
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    Definitely report him/her if the message was abusive.

    But is it possible that it was just very blunt and maybe touched a nerve? I obviously don't know you, or the other member, but I think at least 80% of the " mean" comments on MFP are just blunt and are taken much more harshly than intended. A lot of the so called "mean people" on MFP have learned things the hard way, and gone on to great success. They can be passionate about trying to help others avoid their mistakes, but do have your best interest at heart.

    Or maybe it was just a *kitten* who needs to be blocked and reported. Hard to say without seeing the comment.

  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
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    Take a deep breath, take a step back, make sure you're not being hangry or overly sensitive.

    If, after a review period you are confident they are still being a douche, report block and move on.
  • bett_boop
    bett_boop Posts: 89 Member
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    Thats awful! people have way too much time on their hands. I've noticed that some people can't wait to trash other people's success, however, most of the people here are supportive!
  • brzflapdx
    brzflapdx Posts: 37 Member
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    I dont comment too much on the various posts, but i do read a lot and try to get good insight and advice. I can empathize as I have read some nasty posts, and I can't tell if they were being blunt, well intended, or just being a mean jerk. I would recommend you do as has been suggested from the users above. it is too bad that those of us who come for support get treated like that.
  • uconnwinsnc1
    uconnwinsnc1 Posts: 902 Member
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    There are a lot of emotionally insecure people on this site. A significantly amount of people here have had periods in their life of low self-esteem. Some of them take it out on other people on the site through sarcasm and asinine levels of rudeness.
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    Report them, if you felt it was abusive. Otherwise, no. And the "ignore" feature has been disabled I think. He sounds like a sad sack. Sorry that happened.

    I haven't had to do this but how do you report a pm or user? I see where you can block them
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    I see some rude things on the threads, and some have said some pretty mean things to me too, but receiving it via private message really sucks. I agree with taking a moment and a breath, if the use continues to bother you, report them.
  • snowflake930
    snowflake930 Posts: 2,188 Member
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    One thing that I have learned here (I have been on this site over 2-1/2 years and have lost 160+ pounds) is you have to develop a thick skin.
    Most people are extremely supportive, but there are some that take delight in being less than nice.
    If the person was extremely abusive, report him/her. Definitely block this person from your receiving personal messages.
    Sorry this happened to you.
  • Itisibigj39
    Itisibigj39 Posts: 200 Member
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    steve098 wrote: »
    Interesting that two posters who have been consistently mean to me have posted on this thread!

    Name and shame those suckers
  • chadya07
    chadya07 Posts: 627 Member
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    there are, like any place in the world that includes humans. people who are too mean. and people who are too nice and only tell you what you want to hear. and people who are somewhere in between those. take what you need and leave the rest.
  • lizzie14115
    lizzie14115 Posts: 77 Member
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    sorry you had this experience, but i would say forget them, focus on us, the caring and supportive community, we all look out for each other, and you are now included! please add me as a pal, we can do this together...Catrina xxxx
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    MrM27 wrote: »
    THISGONBGUD.gif

    Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.



    OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.

    Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.
  • thegreatcanook
    thegreatcanook Posts: 2,419 Member
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    "Shake it off"
    -Taylor Swift
  • Fujiberry
    Fujiberry Posts: 400 Member
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    PrizePopple wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    THISGONBGUD.gif

    Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.



    OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.

    Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.
    PrizePopple wrote: »
    MrM27 wrote: »
    THISGONBGUD.gif

    Have I told you I love you today? Because I do.



    OP - I'm going to have to agree on the 80% of comments are blunt, and likely taken poorly by others. Though typically those who are very straightforward don't hide behind a PM. Obviously if there is name calling or blatant shaming then report it.

    Those who get called "mean" on a regular basis are usually the blunt ones who know their *kitten*. I've spent enough time creeping the forums to know who will help kick my @$$ down the road when I need it, and those who will pat my @$$ and fart rainbows... I want the @$$ kickers who know their *kitten* on my side.

    Ahhh, I LOVE YOU. <3

    I always, always get called 'mean' or a '*kitten*' for being blunt when it comes to fitness. If I feel like someone's giving excuses or risking their health for the sake of losing weight (Those <1,200 diets, I swear.), then I'll deliberately call them out. Otherwise, chances are that they'll be spinning their wheels in place and end up the same even after a few years.

  • whippetwomen
    whippetwomen Posts: 35 Member
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    Name and shame, I always find this works with sneaky people who hide behind annonymity. Even snide remarks face to face, a loud response usually sends them scurrying off. Don't let the bxxxxxxs get you down.
  • QueenBishOTUniverse
    QueenBishOTUniverse Posts: 14,121 Member
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    ascottishguy wrote: »
    steve098 wrote: »
    Interesting that two posters who have been consistently mean to me have posted on this thread!

    Name and shame those suckers

    1. Directly naming would be against the rules

    2. Those of us who have been around long enough and seen enough in the forums are raising eyebrows with skepticism at this since we know the players involved. It goes back to that mean vs. direct and how you as an individual interpret mean.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    QueenBishOTUniverse wrote: »
    ascottishguy wrote: »
    steve098 wrote: »
    Interesting that two posters who have been consistently mean to me have posted on this thread!

    Name and shame those suckers

    1. Directly naming would be against the rules

    2. Those of us who have been around long enough and seen enough in the forums are raising eyebrows with skepticism at this since we know the players involved. It goes back to that mean vs. direct and how you as an individual interpret mean.

    agreed …

    people like to classify "mean" as not being 100% supportive when someone wants to do a seven day water fast or some other disastrous idea…

    or - heavens forbid - someone tells someone they don't need low carb and can accomplish their goals with calorie deficit and working out...
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    I think if someone really was a troll or consistently insulting people enough that they were breaking rules they wouldn't be here anymore.

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